Radio by Lana Del Rey plays as Lem shakes his ass for photos taken by JFK like a retarded baboon. It’s arguably one of the most horrific things to ever possibly happen to a human man. And that sort of worthless scummy behavior is why my father hated the vermin Kennedys. With their tragic rat teeth. Let’s hope in Heaven their gummy, shrill teeth are normal looking for everyone’s sake. What rubbish.
And as poor Lem flailed around like a dying fish…forced into prostitution by an airhead bitch thief named Jack Kennedy…with his troll sized family…Satan didn’t laugh.
Nothing In My Way by Keane plays.
“Jack! Jack…don’t choose Lem as your victim!” begged Satan.
But Jack laughed like a hyena inside. Deaf. Dumb. Possibly slightly genuinely retarded in a way we currently don’t medically comprehend. It’s not Down Syndrome. It’s not autism. Europe and Africa knew about it. But America with its credentials on display…instead of family crests…was…rather worse than unaware. Rather worse than ignorant.
Did they fear the Irish because they tended to be retarded in that way more than most? I wonder. Seriously. It’s an insidious thing if it’s real. Poverty? Why were the Irish so miserable according to Frank McCourt? Was his father retarded? …What if…he was?
What if…the Kennedys actually are all secretly a little retarded? The genetic ones. Joe Kennedy Junior was smart…but not that smart. But he’s one of the least retarded ones in his family if such a a form of retardation does exist.
Is it narcissism? Yes? Possibly? But…what if…it’s also retardation? Slightly.
“I worried I was retarded.” says Matt Perry. “But most people thought I was just funny. …But I…really worried.”
“What was it?” asks Queen Elizabeth II.
“I am slightly dumb.” says Matt Perry laughing slightly. “For real. I was incredibly intelligent…which is why I noticed…that part of my brain…felt dumb.”
Anyway…Lem didn’t understand it. Lacey sees it instantly, much like their latent homosexuality. But that’s her…Scandinavian genes. The Norwegians are fierce…especially combined with the rest of her genetics. Lacey could lead armies but she’s not physically strong enough. Her father did…in a sense. It’s like snapping her fingers. I relate.
Traffic by Thom Yorke plays.
A body floats in Lake Mead put out there decades ago by Tom Banks.
“I had to stab them.” says Tom.
“Of course? Why?” asks Lacey.
“They were scum. They hurt children.” says Grandma Ritter. “And Tom was losing money through them.”
“How much money?” asks Lacey.
“$400,000 in 1953.” says Tom.
“Was stabbing them better than shooting them?” asks Lacey.
“It was faster. And more efficient.” says her father.
“Did they feel pain?” asks Lacey.
“Some. We read them their last rites.” says an Italian man. He smiles.
Lacey cries. “Did they accept?”
He cries too. “Yeah!!” he says smiling. He sighs. “This!! This is what I lived for!”
“And the issues cleared-up?” asks Lacey.
“Yes!” he says. “Temporarily.”
“But that’s the best one can do?” says Lacey.
He smiles and nods.
“Well…good job…I suppose.” says Lacey.
“We did well that night.” says another man.
“Why weren’t you born yet?!?” yells the first Italian man at Lacey.
“You know more than me.” says Lacey.
“Yeah.” he says as he gives Lacey a quick hug and then walks away.
Familiar by Agnes Obel plays as Jack Kennedy dances in a homosexual manner desperately trying to look sexy. But…it looks embarrassing as he’s unaware of himself in a way.
“So!” says Michael to Lem.
“He never lost his capacity to make people laugh.” says Lem. Then he vomits. Jack doesn’t notice that Lem threw-up and the dead Kennedys cheer him on as per usual.
“I didn’t think he was retarded.” says Lem, before vomiting again.
The music changes to Blue Boy by Mac DeMarco for Lem. As requested by Michael to mock him.
“We all miss things. At times.” says Dr. Billings to his son, bitterly.
Kill Bill by SZA plays.
“Did Lacey kill you?” asks Michael of Lem.
“No!” says Lem.
“That’s what Jack told her. She resisted. But it sounded like you.” says Michael.
“That’s my heart! In a song!” says JFK. He sings it.
“His new girlfriend?” asks a living wizard asks Jack.
Jack looks confused. Sings the song to explain.
“Huh. So…maybe it’s not his new girlfriend?” says the wizard.
“No. It’s totally his new girlfriend. Go to Hell!” says JFK, sincerely. He breaks into tears.
“Jack…how did you find out about Lacey before she was born?” asks the wizard.
Jack looks worried. Shaken. “I always thought it was because God just…lied.”
“So you hate God? Because he created Lacey? Huh. But…what if…it’s weirder than that? What if…they’re like…not really your’s to touch?” says the wizard.
“Like they already existed together before I met him?” says Jack like the cool genius he’s portrayed as. Except what he’s saying is actually quite stupid…because it should be obvious.
Venom by Little Simz plays.
A Palestinian recedes. Watches. Wonders.
“What?!?” asks Bobby Kennedy Senior. “What?! We like evil. It’s cool.” He shrugs.
“You all use Israel. It’s told backward.” says the Palestinian. “You’re using Israel.”
“Yup!” says Tsar Putin. “It’s an American classic.”
“That’s why I exist.” says King Louis Hill.
“We keep it quiet.” says a Minnesotan.
“Don’t go off…suck the shit Karrie sucked.” says Lacey. “I can’t kill you. Sorry. I know that’s preferable. Jack decided to kill me. …And you wanted his cock in your asses so it’s too late. Oh well. It’s sweet shit. Diego sold it. On the daily.”
“That’s a vile thing for a woman to have to say.” says Lem.
“Not that you care.” says Lacey. “You have an ass to shake because Jack looked normal to you.”
“I couldn’t tell that he was retarded.” says Lem.
“It’s so obvious!!” says Lacey.
“Where?” asks Lem.
“He’s too happy.” says Lacey. “So were you. Around him. Neither of you had that much to be happy about.”
“Even if we were in love?” asks Lem.
“The way things were? Absolutely not!” says Lacey. “You were both doomed to a life in Hell if your love was real.”
“You’re right.” says Lem. “What if…we weren’t in love?”
“What the fuck were you two so damn cheerful about?” asks Lacey.
“I’m sorry you feel the need to be so crass to express your feelings. Ahh…we were young…and our parents loved us.” says Lem. “And we felt joy.” He thinks. “In our ignorance about the future. We both had hopes. And they were naive…but not based on…delusions on my part.”
“What the fuck does this have to do with me?” asks Lacey harshly.
“Yeah. So…where was Lem retarded? No, I mean where was Jack retarded?” asks Lem.
“He’s too happy.” says Lacey.
“Where?” asks Lem.
“He’s too happy.” says Lacey.
Lem thinks.
And at that Lem sees Jack as Lacey imagines an intelligent version of him would have existed. He’s a dry, sullen, sulky boy. He’s always wearing a scowl. He glares at everyone and everything.
“You look like Bobby and me as children. Slightly. Lots of boys in our generation.” says Elliott Roosevelt. “We weren’t ‘happy’ children.”
Jack meets Lem. He smirks. Smiles. Looks ready to hit on him. Does.
“Hey, Jack.” says Joe.
“Fuck off! I don’t have time for you!” says JFK. “FUCK OFF!!” he yells at his brother.
Joe Kennedy Senior looks at Jack in controlling confusion.
“Jack…what’s wrong?” asks Joe Sr., controlling him.
“Oh! Go jump off a cliff you buzzard!“ says JFK. “Hey! What’s wrong four eyes?”
Joe Kennedy Senior smiles. “Jack. Are you angry?”
“Sure as hell! You miserable old bitch!” says JFK.
“NOOOO!!!” screams Lem. “THIS IS NOT MY PLAN!!!” he yells at God. “I have no more empathy for him.” and at that he rips off Jack’s head.
“That’s the son I wanted!!!” yells Joe Kennedy Senior at God about Jack.
“Turns out Jack was possibly retarded.” says Lem. “And yes. He was far too happy. Lacey was right.”
My Tears Are Becoming A Sea by M83 plays.
“Jack. Lacey can’t cry.” says Lem to Jack. “It isn’t safe. And that’s why I ripped off your head. …America lied to me.”
And at that Lacey bleeds.
“I wanna bleed!” says JFK in a jealous rage. “Why does she get everything!?”
And at that his head bleeds profusely.
And America shakes its ugly fat ass.
“Why did you take down my statue? What a waste. There’s no way for us to redeem ourselves from the past using the past by erasing the bad. It’s all bad. …You should have taken a cue from Great Britain and Africa. Both.
You embrace what we knew. And us. Because you’re not that much better. …You IMPROVE not start over or search for a perfect past.
There is no perfect past. There is no way to start over without dissolving the country. You’re all so weak!!” says Thomas Jefferson in despair.
“But we started the country! In our own special way!” says a woman who’s ancestors were new immigrant peasants in the US in the early 1800’s.
“No. We did!” says James Madison.
Time To Walk Away by Washed Out plays as Jack goes back to trying to dance sexy for Lem. Somehow that makes sense to him again.
“He’s got game!” says JFK about Lem to Red.
“No. We did. And it’s on our behalf that we take down the statues of racist white racists.” says the woman whose ancestors were ignorant, crude, racist peasants.
“I’m not that stupid. Right?” asks Tsar Putin of Lacey.
“No!” says Lacey.
“I’m tired of the games!” says drunk JFK to a demon impersonating Lem.
Cherry by Chromatics plays.
“I’m a demon, Jack.” says the demon.
“No. You’re not! You’re not. My dad would never allow that!” says JFK.
“Your dad is human.” says the demon.
“So! He’s like a god!” says JFK, laughing.
“Is that why you’re always so happy?” asks Lacey.
“Yeah! It’s just common sense!” says JFK, sincerely.
Keen to Cross the Pond 