Michael’s Car

Two Weeks by Grizzly Bear plays.

(Adult content below)

In 2016 Chris Hayes was powdered and made-up to look gorgeous. He’d just psychically masturbated. It was a new trick he learned in the Illuminati. A new way to calm himself down. He’d channel an entity that seemed positive and then he’d…get off…get his makeup done…and then go on air feeling…confident. The entity just had to be positive.

After Diego started talking to Lacey Chris could hear her. He could read her. And without intending to he was drawn to her and targeted her. …But…before that he still had psychically contacted her while masturbating before the show. So had Diego before the shows.

Why? Because they channel Michael Rockefeller.

“We do not!” says Chris Hayes.

Trouble by Coldplay plays.

“What if you do?” asks Lacey.

“No! That’s untrue.” says Chris, stubbornly.

“Well…why is that important to be impossible?” asks Rachel Maddow. “You’ve never called on any entity to protect you?”

“To protect me?” asks Chris. “I barely need protection!”

“Okay. Then to inspire you?” asks Lacey.

“No. We don’t do that!” says Chris, indignant.

Shostakovich plays.

“Yes. We do.” says Diego in Iran.

“Diego. Let it go, man.” says Chris Hayes.

“Chris! It’s not right. You have to own it. …You and I both had a crush on him.” says Diego.

“That’s not true!” says Chris.

“No. It is true. …You’ve been scared ever since his name was mentioned.” says Diego. “That’s why I started explaining myself.”

“So moral monarchs and the aristocracy handled you people but with the rise of America and communism…they’ve become less powerful. And now the Illuminati has gone off the deep end? And Tsar Putin could potentially take over most of the Western World.” laughs a communist. He closes his eyes. “And he slept with Lacey. Who’s probably divine. And that meant something spiritually. And only happened because you all insisted Lem, her likely twin flame, was not straight or would always prefer men and Jack?” He laughs. “Gives me empathy for the old money and nobles. How sad!” He scowls. “You people in the Illuminati are holding back the rise of the people. All while pretending to be one of us.”

“So communism is the AntiChrist?” asks Lacey.

“No! I’m just trying to make sense of it.” he says.

“Look…I’m sorry. This is all about Lacey being hurt by me and Diego.” says Chris Hayes.

“Why not Lem?” asks Bobby.

“Because she only cared about Lem because he reminded her of us.” says Chris.

“Huh. So you think she’s only ever been in love with you and Diego?” asks Bobby Kennedy.

“She cried a lot!” says Chris.

“She’s cried more over me. And we got married last night.” says Lem. “For eternity.”

“So! She’ll never be over me.” says Chris. “Diego really affected her.”

“Yeah. It’s the same with me.” says Chris Dodds.

“So you don’t think people move on?” asks Lem.

“No! Never!” says JFK.

“Well. Lacey and I are one forever. And no one can join us or come between us.” says Lem. “According to God.”

“Well…she could still reject Christ. But she’d rather die than reject her salvation through Jesus.” says Satan.

“Yeah. Okay. But…it’s about us.” says Chris. “I can make her come back to me. Not that I ever would.”

“Yeah. I know.” says Kate.

“When was she ever with you?” asks Michael.

“Did I channel you!” scoffs Chris Dodds.

“No! But they do and did. And I hate it.” says Michael. “It used to amuse me. Years ago. But now it just seems…like Hell.”

“How are you channeling Michael?” asks MSNBC of Chris.

“Sweet Mary! How can you people be so dumb?!” asks a male psychic in New Jersey.

Lacey feels something lifted off of her spiritually.

“What did you do?!?” asks a man of the male psychic in New Jersey.

“Look. I can’t tell you. Just chill.” says the psychic in New Jersey.

S.T.A.Y. by Hans Zimmer plays.

“You detached him.” says Lem. “From Lacey.”

“What was he using to hold on to her?” asks Tsar Putin.

“I saw talons. Claws.” says the man.

A giant snake manifests. It’s larger than the size of the most huge creatures to ever exist on Earth. It hisses. It sticks out its tongue.

“Is that Satan?” Lacey wonders to God.

“Probably.” says a demon.

“How anticlimactic.” says Lacey.

“We aren’t God.” says the demon.

“Brilliant point.” says Lacey. “But are we sure that’s Satan?”

“Are you worried we need to be protected?” the demon asks Lacey.

“I worry.” says Lacey.

The demon thinks.

“Is that why Satan comes back? He’s forced to?” asks Lacey. “Sorry! You’re a demon. I’ll ask God.”

“Comes back? No. That was Jesus. Is. Rather. No. Satan doesn’t necessarily come back.” says the demon.

“Right! Or no. I suppose I shouldn’t agree with you. Not so quickly. I’ll check with God. …Sorry for the blunder, if I should apologize.”says Lacey.

And at that like in a C. S. Lewis novel the demon decides Lacey is like Lucy…and…Susan…and…he almost feels regret?

Later.

“Chris. Let me explain. You had a crush on my soulmate, Lacey. You developed a crush on her because you wanted to feel special and she’s fascinating. That’s all that happened.

But…you grew-up poor. And you’re surrounded by mannish women and pedophilic monsters and snobs…and bitchy men. Mean people who desperately feel insecure around people like Lacey.

Here’s a secret. They feel insecure about her. But…they secretly like her a lot more than they like you…and they’re all at least slightly scared of her. And the only way out of that was to try to believe she was stupid or poor. Or evil. And…they also know she loves them. She’s an incredibly loving person. …So…while they hated her to support you and Diego…they secretly always doubted it made any sense at all.

And…that’s where I come in.

I know I seem real. Right? I’m a ghost.” says Michael Rockefeller.

“What do you mean?” asks Jan Hertel in a faux confused voice.

Michael laughs. “I’m a ghost.

A ghost is an entity that forms after a person dies. Because their mortal body no longer can live.” says Michael.

Jan laughs. “I fear some people actually didn’t understand that Michael. I kid you not.”

Michael nods his head. “I’m not going to bother looking into that. …So…I’m…sorry but you need to get it in your head. If Lem wasn’t gay or if he’s not gay now…Jack might hate Lacey. For petty, loser reasons. And him helping you…doesn’t mean you’re winning. …It might feel like you’re getting results…but that’s because you do have an entity beyond the grave helping you who sympathized with you.

You were told it was stupid to take her seriously as a human by jealous, immature, weak, lowly, new money Illuminati people. And you took them dead seriously. Because they impressed you. They still do. They’re popular. And Jack totally related to you. He also mindlessly hates her and is often tragically delusional. …He has tried over the years to love her…but mostly he’s just controlling, domineering and rabidly jealous of her. It’s hard for Lacey to write that and it’s sad for me to say it. Because if it’s true…it’s heartbreaking.

I could have married Lacey and made love. Often. Passionately. I did fully like women… And she’s incredibly special to me. But…I died. Question that…but be careful. Because if it’s true…totally factually and objectively…it’s essential to understand it to understand what’s happening and what happened.

So let’s just say it’s true. Let’s just hypothesize that she could have married me…very easily if I hadn’t died. Would you be in this jam? No. I doubt it? Look…our love wouldn’t have challenged people. It would have seemed ordinary. Because…no matter how much I loved her…it would just have seemed extremely believable. Extremely logical. A wealthy older man who loves beauty with an unusually intelligent, deep, profoundly beautiful young woman? Wow. Not so revolutionary. …And by the way…Lem wasn’t in love with Jack. So stop trying to make fetch happen, bitches. Jacks ‘light-hearted’ glamour…was his stupidity and narcissism on a certain level, at least on a certain level and…despite what Lem said otherwise…his…lack of pain at Jack’s wedding…is just…not something you can dismiss. He didn’t love Jack! He was kind, and fawning, and tragic and patronizing. He told Jackie that Jack wouldn’t die too in the hospital. He was emphatic about it. …’He’s too damn stubborn!’ was what Lem said. Lem…was covering for himself…or he was in deep denial about being molested. Because that was a very stupid, insensitive comment to make to her. Not at all helpful. And don’t give me that crap about him being so in love that he wasn’t able to avoid denial. No. I’ve seen people grieve. It was a stupid or harsh thing to say to her. Was he was trying to tell her, even while covering, that he killed Jack? As in, Jack even though Lem wanted him dead…was too stubborn to die anyway so she shouldn’t worry?

Anyway…I’m not like that. And so…you admire me. Clearly and cleanly. And simply.

But what then? You found my Lacey.

And as fascinating as Lem and Lacey are…let’s get back to me.

You needed to find her? No. But did it feel like that? We’re wondering if you and Diego were obsessed with me?” says Michael.

“We did read the book. But that was after. …I confess to watching In Search Of late at night once. Online. I was bored.” says Diego.

“We did not!” says Chris laughing.

“I’m pretty sure you read that book.” says Kate Shaw Hayes.

“So!? It was for work!” says Chris.

“Just how obsessed were you and Diego?” asks the CIA.

“I wouldn’t call it obsession. We just toured the house. Read the book. And read the play. And apparently Diego researched him online.” says Chris Hayes.

“That’s not weird. But…you do sound…invested.” says the CIA.

Chris is upset. More later.

“Chris. I wanna hear what happened.” says a woman in the CIA.

“Look…here’s whats ideal: Lacey and I would have met. Fallen in love. Gotten married. And our oldest would be 17.” says Michael. “Our youngest 15? And she’d be preparing for my death…and preparing our kids for my death…and…maybe I’d live another ten years. Or more. Maybe she’d live and remarry. But likely not. She’d not want to. And there’d be no point.

However…in Heaven…in Purgatory…Lacey belongs to Lem. Most likely. And…I honor that. That’s not my design. That’s God’s design. …And His plan. And…beautifully…it makes me happier anyway…if it’s what God intended. Because God loves us. So I give her up and she gives me up…and we find ourselves happier. And our biggest worry is in explaining to Lem and my wife…why we’re so chill.

I’ve had to use Louis and Harold to help my wife understand. She…thinks they’re handsome men. Fascinating. She figures that if Lacey has to give up Louis…she can give me up too. And Harold. And that makes her cry…as she begins to understand me better.

Lacey and I are hippies in that way. The kind and truly loving ones.” says Michael. “And we worship Christ.”