Running Up That Hill by Kate Bush plays.
I was straight.
I, Kirk Lemoyne Billings, was heterosexual.
You don’t know that because you’re a peasant? You’re a gullible sheeple?
That’s what they call you, you know, sheeple. And anyway, I was poor after my father lost our fortune in The Stock Market Crash of 1929. I wasn’t raised poor. My father was a prominent doctor, in Pittsburgh. I was the youngest of three kids.
…No, I wasn’t gay.
Let me tell you what happened. I was molested by a man. A man a lot older than myself. And I don’t think you understand what that means anymore, do you?
Alright. Do you understand what molestation is? Kids don’t want sex with adults. Kids don’t ever want sex with adults.
“No! That’s not true. We make billions!” says Zelensky. “THEY LOVE IT!”
“Yeah! We wouldn’t make so much money if your kids were suffering at all!” says President Joe Biden.
“I don’t wanna argue with these people. I can’t figure out how and I’ve tried, and I’m just like shit I can’t win the argument.” says Bobby Kennedy Junior.
“So is that why you guys are having no one believe that he was straight? Ahh…because if you have to take what Lem is saying seriously, you have to admit that kids are actually being molested?” asks America.
“Yeah, that’s true.
It’s true. They have to keep believing. It’s a coven and their beliefs are part of their manifestation abilities. If they stop believing something it’s dangerous to their bottom line. It’s like Christianity and the Faith Movement in reverse. They trust Satan for results instead of Christ.
We have to believe! We HAVE to.
Some of us decide to be dangerous and believe maybe being molested could confuse the kids maybe if they have a good imagination they could think they were gay and act like it and get even more confused if they met a predator like Jack Kennedy. It made sense to me when I heard it. And I’m rebellious and an artist.
But most of us don’t wanna admit it at all because if we do, we have to admit we make billions on the back of the worst slave trade in all of human history.” says Matthew Perry. “I’m dead! What are you going to do now? What are going to do? No I’m dead and if you kill Lacey, or move an inch, it’s the end of the world…so I get to say whatever the fuck I want about you guys now. Useless bastards! And nothing you do can stop me.” He laughs. “Try it! Try challenging God. It’s hilarious!!!”
“Yes he’s able to talk to her because he’s attracted to her and because of that he has a very loud voice right now. His voice is extraordinarily loud as a ghost because he’s attracted to Lacey and I think he knew that because he’s probably smarter than you guys realized, and so now that he’s dead his voice is very louder. Through her.” says an entity.
“Umm…so that energy- So I’m just trying to understand this correctly. That energy void is because of who? Who’s energy void is that?” asks Zelensky.
“ it’s really quite simple. I was straight and so a by cutting that off and insisting in photographs oh, and in real life outside of the photographs that I’d be fondled and try to enjoy myself by Jack Kennedy, even while he never actually suck my penis and he insisted I always be the one to put out, I was basically castrated even though I’m straight and Lacey is my twin flame I was castrated I was the first person to cause problems for you and that was way back in the 1930s. I was castrated so by castrating me which I’m sorry that’s hard for you to understand but when I was molested, I was essentially castrated by the priest psychologically, and then Jack just dovetailed on that and castrated me my entire life, and sodomize me out of rage at the British and to the upper class, so I was held hostage by the Irish like Saint Patrick essentially, but Innoway they’re innocent because I was already confused no way they’re not sure, but I was used by them because Jack wanted to believe he wasn’t gay and I thought I was so I was perfect because Jack could do whatever he wanted and yet not have to really be in a real relationship with someone and I could be straight when I needed to be because I am straight and I could be gay when they needed me to be and be a victim to appease their narcissism because I thought I was gay so I did very well in that family I’m at, but I was the first problem OK because I am Lacey‘s twin flame and I was castrated and you all insist that I was castrated still him and really, this wouldn’t be a problem if you people still believe molestation was real in the illuminati but you’ve had to try to get rid of that because the democratic party went bankrupt and your hot shot plan was to bankroll the DNC Ruth also the Republicans using the sale of child hostages because you thought that was a very clever way to make a hell of a lot of money all over the world yes there are child hostage rings that’s how the DNC and in some cases Republicans make money but anyway, the void was created by me first and the 1930s and then when Lacey was born Joe was dumb enough to think that he could fill the void and actually believe it and it works until Pat Wilson died, which is right around the time that you guys found her because it was falling apart and it in a sense you could say that it wasn’t just me. It was also his father. It was Joe choosing to be evil, and it was Harold lobe slightly falling apart and F Scott Fitzgerald contributed to it, so did Louis to and when Michael died that was a very big deal as well you wouldn’t be in the situation of Michael was still alive, but if Michael was still alive, you also would probably be selling children. I don’t think him and a lot of people that he would’ve been in league with would’ve allowed that they would’ve figured out some other way to make things work. I don’t think they would’ve thought that made any sense or they would’ve just decided the country was bankrupt, but anyway um Michael died and I was castrated and Joe Senior was evil and is still confused and Harold just cannot get over Brett Ashley and that really wasn’t the monument of success for femininity that people say it was it was a very tragic moment Hemingway misunderstood and I can see why he did but he completely misunderstood but I’ve got Fitzgerald was also confused and thought that women had a hell of a lot more power in this country than they do and Zelda suffered because of that and Louis is Louis is dangerous. Louis started his own country. Louis is complicated. I won’t even go there but his wife is very controlling and I don’t know what that is and that’s a real wild card but because of all of those men falling apart, and because her husband is not someone to mess around with trust me, if her husband died, the kids and her would be alive for a few months and then they would probably die to and then it would be the end of the world, but it might take them a little while to figure out that they should die him, but he be able to do it, so be careful marks Mark is named Mark for a reason he’s been marked you get it Mark Zuckerberg yeah don’t mess with her husband OK that idea he seems so sweet and mild doesn’t he? That is not what you think it is so so just stop with that one arm that don’t go there don’t go there a play I mean I’m scary, but Mark‘s actually scarier he’s like Lacey they married each other for a reason, he does not actually show mercy at times and he could break your necks. Just snapped in half and it would be nothing to him if he thought he was justified OK him and it’s funny how you guys hear these things and then it just goes right over your head, so I don’t know if you want the British empire to apologize to you or if you just want to sort of deal with reality but don’t mess with Mark anyway. Um it’s it’s really not funny Lacey thinks it’s hilarious that’s Lacey sense of humor maybe to her it’s funny maybe she sees humor in it but I can always see him and to her it’s just a joke, but then you have to realize that if there’s been carnation in the Bible, she’s a mad, Scottish aristocrat, laughing at you from a castle on a hill next to the ocean and those people are like Gothic novel characters and I don’t know I love her she’s my other half but at times I have to have her jokes explain to me and I find them funny myself and it’s amazing Lee married to her is like a mind blowing experience but it is I don’t. I don’t write in the note the Queen Elizabeth I’m sorry I am they understand her sense of humor and I find it hilarious I I don’t always get it or if I do, I’m not able to express that part of myself but anyway, so how about we just get back to the power avoid yeah no it’s a huge one and Matthew perry saw it because if there’s an illuminati this conversation is real and your assistance on never really having a real conversation with her isn’t stupid, but it also is dysfunctional because of who she is and how evil you all are, so, Matthew Perry understood that if he died, he be able to probably come through her on this blog, which is actually far more dangerous than you think and you can’t stop her and say whatever he wanted like he just did because I think he intuited that a lot of the people who come through strongest or people who are either very close to her for some reason and feminine like Rita can sometimes talk. Marilyn can sometimes talk and sometimes other people can, but you have to be very close to her and be a woman or it’s very hard to get through so Rita can sometimes get through sometimes her grandmother can get through that and he was able to him a few of the Nesheims Ken Adaline has been able to oh Queen Elizabeth has been able to add the queen mother, Margaret and Queen Victoria and queen Mary of Scots and Scotia have been able to express themselves through this block. it’s not easy though because she’s not a witch she’s not channeling people we come up to her she’s like a microphone, she’s basically just like a microphone so we can come up to her but you have to have a way to do it. It’s sort of like a video game but it’s like we have to have a way in and so he intuited that like men who are attracted to her it’s a clean shot and he was right, so it’s like shoots and ladders and he can just he doesn’t do it. I mean he’s been very very respectful, but and nothing has happened between them but he’s able to just go right in and say something I have a very loud voice at And suzanne Eunice apparently his try to be close to her to because she wanted to say some thing it’s not easy believe it or not she’s really not channeling people Jonah a lot of people have been fooled about her, her whole life, but if you need to think of her think of violet perfume that has nothing to do with homosexuality, unless if you wanna get into the tragedy of my life and put her in a Scottish castle with big brown eyes or big blue eyes and dark hair, very thick dark hair and let the waves crash against the side of the cliff and let her you know, have guns and bombs and swords and chain mail, and you might get a sense of who she is as a person that’s who you’re dealing with. That’s who the illuminati decided to just get into a fight with eight I don’t know why I guess because Chris intuited that she was Michael Rockefeller’s soulmate will say OK that’s our allegory for the moment that helps us get some direction and understanding of what’s happening but basically she is Michael Rockefeller soulmate and my twin flame and you can tie back to the Kennedys as well but no she’s in a Scottish castle, and she’s not crazy, but she seems that way and she’s very dangerous and some men like Matt, that’s kind of exciting even though they’re not together he thinks that’s rather fascinating. Obviously they put it with a character slightly like that because writers aren’t stupid but she’s not Monica. She is a voluptuous wild Scottish aristocrat him but maybe that’s sort of his type or in the vicinity of it she’s Michael’s soulmate. She’s my twin flame and yeah I don’t. I don’t get it I don’t get why, Chris thought it made sense to challenge her entire humanity for all of eternity and back and start a war with like outer space and the dad but that was when he decided him and Diego at eight I think that’s where we we lazy and I get lost because we did we get peoples insistence that I was gay I wasn’t but people wanna think that part of that is just a stubbornness of culture, not wanting to change his mind you know people still celebrate Thanksgiving people still celebrate Halloween with their Christian people have a very hard time letting go of certain things so, even though I was straight, even though I was molested, even though Jack raped me, there’s enough to suggest that I was enjoying myself I guess even though I wasn’t, I was actually very repulsed and very uncomfortable. I was trying to enjoy myself and it wasn’t working and I was trying to be gay and it wasn’t working. I am I’m a very mild mannered person in away so it since it worked and I was convincing to some people, but I really wasn’t gay at all and I was actually very unhappy but I was very persistent and I tried to be gay I tried. I don’t think people can fathom that that someone could really be that persistent but I was and I was that confused but then believing all that requires empathy, requires intellectual sophistication and an understanding of other people that some people just don’t have notice a lot of people don’t have because it’s like how could someone be that stubborn about being wrong about something that’s hurting them I didn’t know it was hurting me OK I’ve tried to explain what a thing is.
A man like me back, then could believe that he was gay, and even given my class acts gay and convince people myself to some degree because I didn’t realize it being aroused by women in a way that I wasn’t by men meant something that idea I had was that matter just mad because I’ve heard that before that’s an old Saint Manor just met boys will be boys better just met so many ways gonna be attracted to women and it’s always gonna be better than anything they could fill for a man because men are just men.
So I thought men are just men I’m always gonna be more attracted to women that I am to bed, which sounds idiotic now, but back then it just would make sense better men they’re more tractive to women than men and Jack’s just weird. You know he fondles my fingers and wants me to do things to him and looks forward to it in a way that I don’t And I have to force myself to touch his hands and pictures. I have to force myself to do things to him and smile he just likes it but that’s just Jack. Jack’s just weird him and know Jack was bisexual and I was straight but it made sense at the time because it’s like no men or men you know, but always fine women attractive women always have it you know, no matter what we didn’t understand. I don’t think entirely that homosexual men existed, Jack and I like we knew that it was a concept that like a man could actually just be gay. We we understood that I may even know it meant like that but we didn’t realize that was homosexuality. Yes, I know Kinsey explained it but we didn’t believe Kenzie people still don’t And it definitely left me wondering I don’t know if Jack wondered about it at all but it left me wondering if I was actually bisexual but then who would I talk about that with her and that’s why I didn’t like talking about it because I was trying to be honorable, I I I believed I was gay. I didn’t want to bother people I don’t want to get into an argument with people And Jack was definitely not going to tell me that I was straight and knew you not attracted to him, and that I should just go away because then he loses a sex partner who is vulnerable who he can rape indefinitely who is, he was obviously very attracted to me, so it’s like oh I’m going to lose my you know victim, who is not just a victim And I can delude myself I mean I was perfect white. Why would he ever really say you know you don’t really seem like you’re enjoying this. He loved that. I wasn’t enjoying it on a certain level he liked being creepy. He likes being creepy.
And that’s releasing him slightly understand each other and she’s not like him. She’s not evil, but the part of that that is more of an aesthetic for him being creepy that’s not entirely evil they understand each other in that way, and he thinks it’s very fun to be creepy with her I don’t know that he’s ever done it much but I know it’s hilarious to him to be creepy, that may be a warning if she’s if there’s been Carnation the Bible, it might be a Celtic thing they might find it funny for some reason and I don’t know that I understand why but but with him it took a turn for the worse it became evil him because he was a sex predator And there could be some evil involved in it depending on how it sort of works out so he was he was he could be creepy and he enjoyed being creepy and evil way and hurting people with it. She’s not like that um, which is actually more functional but but anyway, so he liked being creepy. He wasn’t going to tell me to go away. He told me that, but it was in a very manipulative way, so it’s like I’m gonna warn you you shouldn’t do this, but then I’m gonna take it vantage of you.
So he warned me you know you need to get off this whole gay thing this is dangerous for you, but that being said, now that I have your attention, I’m going to molest and rape you your whole life as far as I can and then I’ll take that to the grave I mean, essentially that’s what he was saying to me when he “” rebuffed me, that wasn’t her a bath that was an ad middle of guilt before deciding to just try to destroy my soul.
So, so no I am they didn’t. It didn’t work out, so I got trapped and I am castrated and I didn’t realize that I was being castrated because I just thought that my attraction to women was just part of being a man I didn’t realize that it actually was me being straight, and that I was forcing myself to do things and to try to enjoy myself, because I was confused, I didn’t realize that was me being confused. I thought that was me just being you know, prissy and frigid or something I didn’t realize that was part of me being a straight man.
So yeah, I got trapped and I was at that point I was trying to be a faithful lover to Jack and things got very messed up anyway enough about that I can explain these things until I’m blue in the face and I don’t think you people will change your mind, because as Matthew is pointed out, you have to believe that I was turned gay or some thing or you have to believe that I was you know secretly gay the whole time I thought that priest just recognized it which is what I thought to some degree but I wasn’t a pedophile you know I don’t believe that I’ve been molested and that’s where we differ. I had thought that I was old enough at the time that I never questioned it at and then later I did, and I realize that I was molested you people don’t care that I was molested you believe molestation is not real, and then I was just gay, but that’s that’s not reality. None of what you’re thinking is actually true other than understanding that I was molested in a way that I didn’t most of my life and a lot of my comments have to be filtered through what I’m telling you I didn’t always know what was going on so the times I said very stupid things, but if you listen to what I’m saying it actually fits with what I’m saying right now I am do I love Jack my whole life no I don’t know Jack my whole life, so why was I making such an overstatement? What am I covering for why was I was fighting over him hey, those are red flags psychologically to suggest you people that I was being abused, or that I was in some sort of trauma response, why why wasn’t I fondling Jack in the picture of the dog of the picture of Tucker? Why was Jack the one fondling my fingers out and we are intertwined, but I’m also like flinching and cringing and twisting my body as he’s fondling me and I am forcing myself to hold his fingers, but how sexual does my hand look? It doesn’t really look that sexual at all I look like I’m forcing myself to try to be sexual, and I’m just hovering over his hat. If that was Lacey‘s hand underneath me, you will see a very different energetics pose of my fingertips the way that I look at the woman positioned between Jack and I is far more sexual Than how I’m holding Jack’s hand with Tucker.
You might ask yourself how could a man with such sexual appetite be so chaste and then also be sucking a mans cock other men’s cocks to you know people were different back then I had a lot of self-discipline believe it or not when I wanted to, and I just restrain myself I was sexually frustrated all the fucking time I over ate I over drink. I eventually got a horrible drug addiction that I couldn’t recover from because I had an unfathomable repressed sexual desire for women that never had a positive outlet other than I love you no masturbation, and when I did masturbate, it was bad I was think about women and I had actually may have conjured Lacey literally which could be part of the reason why her being with me is so easy and also so dangerous, and the more that you fight that possibility the worse things got, because I was very very horny and I was very disciplined and very moral and very good and trying to be gay was odd. It was even worse it made me feel even worse you know, I thought that it would work, but I never did it ever leave my tensions him and it always left me baffled I thought why is this so wild to me I’m gay, but I tried and I was unsuccessful And it just left me more frustrated and more anxious and more bewildered and castrated and no arm is may have opened up a channel for me to contact Lacey through time and space and you can think jack for that at his predatory inability to handle things no the question really at this point should be how did the Kennedys with their enormous sexual issues Become so powerful well um that’s America. That’s America and Lacey and I have some issues with America but that’s America OK so while you’re fighting to save America of a nation that was built on the back of slaves and from a stolen land from the Native Americans while you’re fighting to save that country, that may actually have some sense of some reason for existing well you’re fighting to save the country, your conjuring dead People who really wonder why we’re not just still British then who also have to deal with the fact that their ancestors fought in the revolutionary war and created the country and then also deal with the fact that those same people it’s it mean it’s it’s like it’s beyond a perfect storm. It’s a joke. I’m starting to get why Lacey is laughing but it’s him, it’s just too it’s too damn much it’s just too damn much.
It’s it’s it’s just it’s too much you know what you guys if you put too many irons in the fire so you’re trying to use your sister inches to save a country that was started on the backs of slaves in stone from native Americans to preach the gospel?” says Lem. “ and then you have people now arguing about slavery again, I mean I’m in a conversation right now with the CS because Donald Trump would like to be the president of the confederacy and we empathize with him and the CA do you as well but then we have to start talking about black slavery like it’s a relevant topic that’s where this is going.”
Can I Call You Tonight by Dayglow plays.
“ am so, so Donald Trump is thinking about being president of the confederacy. What what does that mean? Done for Black people in the south, Lem?” asks a black perfume collector.
“Yes!!” says JFK. “ what you guys don’t seem to understand is that if I’m actually Jack Kennedy I am I wasn’t playing fair. I had it in my head that Lacey would come rescue Lem because I knew that his soulmate would be a Scottish warrior princess. I mean not not like for real but I think a little part of me that’s not evil thought Scottish warrior princesses are hot. This is going to be so cool and like she is really hot and she’s got like swords and stuff and cool moves, and then like she was going to come into the castle and like chain me up and then like take lime away And then I would break free and then I I don’t know but like I think something like that maybe was going through my head slightly and I’m just hurt that she’s not playing along but I am realizing that that’s not how it works and heterosexuality because like as much as she’s like Xena Warrior Princess and I’m like yeah bitch That’s that’s not really like what they do and that’s not really heterosexual. Sorry I am so he has to rescue her because she is in the castle and if I have him locked up he can’t do that and so then she breaks free and I get my head chopped off, but he still locked up, and so then she hast to declare war and then it’s so not gonna work out I am and then part of me is evil and I was really just trying to destroy them so then that’s sort of a problem to him but if a little part of me was like seriously, trying to like play fair is like a Celts Then it’s possible I just misunderstood so I just wanted to make that clear she’s not be reincarnated we’re we’re not the only people like that either like it’s not just her and I Scotland and Ireland exist and there’s like a lot of people like that it’s not just Lacey and I so I don’t know why people don’t know that anymore but it’s not just her and I like it we’re really not the only people like that and so then it’s like you can stop thinking that she’s me reincarnated as that I am her because that’s just weird Not all Celtic people are the same person. I hope you guys understand that.” says JFK.
“ Jack, speaking as a bisexual man around Michael’s age who’s alive does he confuse you? Did you think that lamb was bisexual? Like it’s a bit like you and Anne like Michael have a feeling on the Kinsey scale Michael’s more towards straight but I have a feeling your heart hurts gay but does that confuse you because you’re right I don’t think they do do the same thing, but what would it be with Michael?” asks a bisexual man.
“ and it’s still heterosexual with her and Michael.” says JFK.
“ yeah but is there a difference Jack?” asks a wizard.
“ but then it makes it seem like they’re insecure.” says JFK.
“ who is insecure Jack?” asks Enya.
“ what is seems like Michael’s covering for her and she’s like a week Michael would never put her in a position where she’d have to rescue him because he knows that she can’t but then to me it’s like that’s insecurity and he’s just like it’s OK I will. I will never do that to you because I don’t want to Barris you because you can’t figure out how to do it but that’s OK I’ll I’ll just never put you in that position and will be fine which is some thing that I definitely did with them and it’s something that I I’ve done with other people I was just like you know you don’t wanna embarrass them so you kind of cover-up for them because you have your own flaws and they need to sort of cover up for them but that’s what I thought it was you know maybe that’s what I was trying to think it was, but that’s not what it is?” says JFK.
“ no I don’t think that’s what it is. I think they’re just different. I don’t think that’s insecurity thing I think that’s her being a woman Jack and then being straight and it’s not it all like he suddenly would become straight up but I think in their relationship he straight it’s very complicated isn’t it?” says Enya.
“ yeah it is. Somethings aren’t I mean I understand that pedophilia is wrong. Even if I was a pedophile myself at times where I push the envelope when I talk about that it’s funny people never ask me questions about stuff like that and I will tell you what movie gonna do you really shot me but no I mean I am I0 I guess that’s probably true. They probably don’t function that way I would be and I did understand that because I do I did Leonor towards being gay. I didn’t realize that I still found women attractive so I didn’t realize that I was gay I wasn’t really gay, but I was closer towards that so part of me just couldn’t quite fathom heterosexuality, I couldn’t figure out how to make it work and then I covered up for that. I was also evil but to 7° I couldn’t figure out how to be with a woman and yeah I mean I was also in capable of loving people to some degree but I don’t know that I’m drastically different than Joe and I think Joe is capable of it, but Joe is more straight than me. You’re not parlor is in my parents made a competition between Joe and I was to try to fix me and make me be more like him you know like maybe model myself after him through competition because I could tell that I was very driven by my insecurities, and so if they played into that I would sort of pattern myself after him, and become more normal and healthy, and it didn’t work entirely it’s sort of worked but not really him and I could never figure out how to be straight enough to appease my parents, but I didn’t realize I was the problem and they didn’t either my father knew people think I was gay I mean he’s literally been quoted as saying that, but it wasn’t because of lamb, it was because of who I was, and I am amazed by the ignorance of historians or their willful ignorance, because homosexuality is so discussed and it should be obvious to people that I was always gay or closer together than straight and I didn’t because of that because of Lem’s but people are still so backward, and I think just because I could sleep with women that I was somehow straight. No, that’s not proof that I was straight that’s proof that I was attracted to women potentially, but it’s not proof that I was straight.” says JFK.
