The Nesheim Farm

“Joni is a Nesheim. Lacey is legally a Nesheim.” says a filmmaker. “Joni’s net worth isn’t high for an actress…but…she’s barely famous. And I’d bet most of her wealth comes from being old money.” He thinks. “She’s obviously comfortable with her finances.” He thinks. “I mean you have to get the money. …But…if you’re old money you often know how to manage it. You have to. Or you lose it.”

“But we struggle. Because…we get it. The Nesheims are old money. Okay! …But I’m not satisfied!” says a gay man.

“With what?” asks Mark Nesheim.

“Okay. Let’s unpack!” says the gay man.

“Let’s.” says Gunhild Nesheim who died with a net worth of $2 million in 1968 or so. That would be $17 million today. No debt. Wealthy kids.

“We hate your fake tree. Old carpet. And the cabinet is not a big deal…and it’s old. The lace curtains are tacky. …Otherwise…it’s unfathomably chic. Timeless chic…actually.

Umm…so…why!? You had so much money…why didn’t you- Why didn’t any of you try!??” asks a gay man.

“We spent $50,000 on a new roof!” says Mark. “Just a few years ago. And $25,000 on windows and other stuff. And nobody is living there in that house right now. We take care of the house!! It matters to us!”

“We are very frugal. But we take care of our stuff.” says Nils.

“So you all essentially own that main house?” says Bobby.

“No. Not legally. But in our legalities, yes.” says Bradley.

“Then why does Lacey need to ask her mother to visit it?” asks Bobby.

“Because…we don’t like Lacey as much as Becca.” says Bradley. “We just don’t like her or care about her…as much as her legal mother.”

“She’s always felt like an outsider to us. But we never knew why. Or cared…that much.” says Joni. “She’s more us than you are.” she says with a posh, dignified Viking snarl.

“Why?! Why the super-farm aesthetic!???” begs a gay man, overwrought and disturbed.

“Because! It’s practical.” says Sonja.

“It’s functional. We were the first people to own that land in the US legally. And it’s ours.” says Nils Nesheim.

“So…dirt and stuff?” says the gay man.

Sonja nods yes.

“But you care about hygiene. …Why not care about your house!?” asks a designer.

They think.

“We kept it clean!” sweetly says Sonja who taught nutrition at a local college. Her mother was a home economics teacher.

“Yes. I’m sure you did. …We’re being shallow dears. …But…then why not?” asks Genevra King’s mother.

“Well…we spent $80,000 on a trip to Norway.” says Gunhild. “But…that was an important vacation. And our kids bought it for us.”

“We just didn’t…want to waste it.” says Nils.

“We had no debt, running water, electricity, everything was clean, neat, and everyone was taken care of. Always. But…we were too terrified to buy nice things. Beyond plated silver, a curio cabinet, and a pearls. Maybe a few other things. But we didn’t trust in anything but God and ourselves. And to some degree each other.” says Gunhild.

“Were you afraid of fire?” asks a gay man.

“Yes! And death. …We fought off death a lot.” says Gunhild. “I almost died from the Spanish Flu.”

“So you bought a nice strand of pearls, plated silver, and a curio cabinet?” asks a vintage enthusiast.

“Yes! Those were our nicest things. We had lots of farm animals, land, tractors, trucks, and other stuff like that. Cars. And other furniture. …But…we rarely bought expensive things. Durable. Decent. But rarely expensive. …So…we were never hungry during the Great Depression when many people folded. And we had eight kids. But…we didn’t buy pretty tables and china sets.”

“So you had a solid wood table. And plenty of food. And plenty of utensils and china. But nothing…frilly or exquisite.” she says.

“You might say that. Yes.” says Gunhild.

“Why do you seem so German?” asks a woman.

“We might be distantly. But we’re almost entirely Norwegian.” says Gunhild.

“What shows did you all watch? Or what did you listen to?” asks Keith Olbermann.

“Yeah. Baseball. …I Love Lucy. I liked Rosemary Clooney. The usual. Umm…sometimes classical. I read some. Hans played the violin. As did I. We knit. Sewed. Painted. Becca majored in art. …We still have her artwork upstairs. She did an exceedingly good job making my face. But the nose blew-up in the kiln. No. Really. It’s good art! …But it’s not my nose. She fixed it. But it’s not my nose.” says Nils.

“Gunhild. You were…beautiful. But you were also brilliant and difficult.” says a gay man.

“Yes. Nils and I often disagreed.” says Gunhild. “I was the Republican and he was the Democrat.”

“I helped build that church in 1915. And I’m buried there. With most of us. And…it’s still standing and being used.” says Nils Nesheim.

“Yes. I’ve been there many times. In all seasons.” says Lacey.

“That’s a pretty church.” says the gay man.

“Yes! We added the stain glass windows. In the 1950’s.” says Gunhild Nesheim. “We helped buy them and organize buying them.”

“I took care of that church while I was alive. As best I could!” says Tonette Nesheim.

And because Lacey doesn’t buy bullshit the London Symphony Orchestra performs Elgar’s Enigma Variations now to celebrate the glorious victory of Christ for eternity.

Lacey cries.

The song was played. It was written. And it glorifies God. And there’s nothing you can do about it.

Cello Suite No. 1 in G Major by Bach plays.

“Tell us about this.” says a gay man.

“Maria, Becca and Terese.” says Nils.

“The floor is from the 1940’s. It’s been heavily used but it’s almost perfect still. Those cabinets were put in in the 1960’s. Very, very little has changed since the 1960’s or so. We just hate change in that way I guess.” says Gunhild. “Lacey doesn’t look like us.”

“That’s supposed to be her birth mother. They look nothing alike.” says Gunhild.

“She looks like Tom.” says Gunhild.

“ you cute you try to see a resemblance people always have her entire life. They also see a resemblance between her and Jim‘s family that is more convincing but also there’s somethings slightly weird about it and it’s possible that she looks like Jim and she’s not a legitimate, but why doesn’t she look more like us at all, I don’t see almost any resemblance. It’s very weird if she’s not illegitimate it’s unusual. She is unusually different than most people in our family. If not everyone I mean it it’s she’s not stupid. She loves our family fairly unconditionally if not unconditionally and that means a lot to me we raised her, but and she’s one of us and so far as she should be in the eyes of God but but she’s not necessarily Becca’s biological daughter or is she because I don’t see a resemblance and I don’t think that Jim is her father. I think he looks a lot like her mom because her mother was Norwegian and I think he looks enough like Tom and enough like her mom that they thought it was convincing if she’s illegitimate. I notice him saying it, and I will not say anything other than earth until she’s able to prove that she’s mine or not my grand great granddaughter that is not the same if Haslem, at this point, I think we can fairly certain establish the fact that I’m a straight it was an F for a while now we’re quite sure that’s not enough and it’s just who he is, and was, but for the time being, we still don’t know whether or not she’s my great great granddaughter, or if she’s actually not biologically if she’s not my great granddaughter biologically she’s not Jim‘s daughter either biologically even though he loves to act like she is And that’s actually quite cruel in his case. If she’s not because he should’ve told her at some point what actually happened it was a disgusting act on his part and he is the one who did it we had nothing to do with that. Becca had nothing to do with that. If my great granddaughter, if I can call her that in the eyes of God is not my biological great granddaughter we were fooled just as much as she was maybe not as much as she was because we may have instinctively known that she wasn’t one of us so to speak, but we were not made aware of the situation anymore than she was in an open way, and that is not fair to her and it’s not fair to us either but not because we want to get rid of her because we think it’s disgusting. We do have kids in our family who were adopted and it was legal and it was Nolan and I don’t know that it was the easiest situation for any of them. I don’t. I don’t think being adopted into our family was easy for any child who is adopted and if Lacey is one of those kids no she’s no Exception, it is an easy psychological life to be adopted into the Nesheim family. Even if you’re Norwegian, you know even if you’re from an elite, aristocratic, old money Dutch Norwegian family like Lacey would be if she’s adopted it’s still isn’t easy I have two Colombian grandchildren. Great grandchildren, and I have a white great grandson And I love it that is so much German but but no it’s not easy for any of them. I don’t think any of them have had an easy time being different than us is not an easy thing to be we notice differences, because were very clannish and it automatically makes us suspicious of people and sometimes I think it’s reasonable. We did have difficulties with two of the grandkids in different ways, although we love them, but then I think even if there’s not some thing to be concerned about him and even if there is, it’s still is difficult were very cold people in a way that I don’t think multiple are capable of comprehending you try to make Jack out to be cold out please that’s nothing compared to most people in my family. We’re extraordinarily cold if he’s cold For icebergs all of us at least he’s not an iceberg really at all. She is relax in a better way to describe it even if there’s not reincarnation in the Bible and there’s no reincarnation at all, she’s very stereo typically Scottish there’s a reason that she chose that culture to sort of explain herself if she’s not reincarnated, and then nobody is, she does seems Scottish and she’s very difficult to get along with, but she doesn’t want to be difficult to get along with. She’s a very loving warm hearted jovial fun person, but she’s not easy to get along with and the reason why is because she doesn’t let you get away with anything if she knows you’re up to something and she thinks it’s some thing she can help you with, which is why her husband is not in alcoholic anymore and would never even think of drinking but that’s the thing you know if you’re someone who wants to sober up and be decent she is great company very loving if you’re somebody who is struggling with something that’s sin you’ll still drive, you crazy unintentionally just by being herself she’s extraordinarily difficult to get along with is she difficult to get along with if you’re not being evil no not if you’re a nice person and I’m a nice person I would’ve enjoyed being in her company connected to them a lot like my daughter her Internet had wonderful conversations that I think sometimes for tonight because she couldn’t figure out where in the world Lacey was coming from Because it didn’t make sense it really wasn’t her parent psychology. It wasn’t Jeanette psychology and yet neck could relate to it and so no her Internet but sometimes have very nice conversations and um that that that’s just who we are you know and that’s the thing it’s not like you can’t get along with her Internet and get along with most people, but Lacey does want to get along with people and net wasn’t actually as cruel as everyone made her out to be so they got along but you know that’s how it is see the thing is that Lacey hasn’t told you is that John CA was a really difficult man to be married to and he is the father of Becca and Maria and Terese and her uncle. He’s not us and not left him a 1962 after trying desperately to save their marriage for decades at that point.

Lacey was raised by us on my father side in the 1500s. They may have been Jews in Germany in the 1500s does it show up on 23 and me know because we’re very white washed at this point we lived in Norway for well quite a few years I mean it was the 1500s until the 1800s through was 300 years until I you know was born in 1883 and I know I am I will during during the holocaust I came out as a little Jewish to my daughter to nut in solidarity with the Jews that were dying in the holocaust and Tonette never forgot it.

Yes, we converted to Lutheranism I was raised Lutheran. I am Lutheran I’m a Christian but genetically I came out as so much Jewish during the holocaust my daughter in my living room, and that was after her the love of her life, Raymond Rose was killed in Pearl Harbor. Raymond was everything that’s not ever wanted and a husband. They were absolute best friends he gave her a ring. He joined the Navy, and then he died in Pearl Harbor, and it was devastating to Jeanette. She never got over it she died if I’m not mistaken with his ring in her pocket, which is saying something. Her and Lacey heard that she heard that story growing up that I told my daughter to comfort her, possibly to give her some sense that we were under attack, and that Raven had died for a reason not and her brothers were fighting for a reason you know it was personal Because Ed was in the war, her brother, Ed, and Bennett and TATI she may have had four brothers fighting in the war, praying for them daily that they come home and not die and she lost the love of her life previous to that no none of her brothers died. We prayed for them every day. It was our own personal battle, but I told her you know Where this is personal, you know our family is a little Jewish this is personal and it was comforting to her.

Oh, which is why Lacey felt so comforted by Mark Schiebel when she found out he was Jewish she had just read the sun also rises, and she had grown-up hearing stories about how heroic the Jews were. If if if she’s not illegitimate it’s probably not a coincidence that Lacey and Mark are both brilliant and that he’s Jewish and our family was Jewish in Germany in the 1500s. I would bet you anything that both Mark and Lacey sent some thing genetic about each other and thought that they just made sense together but couldn’t quite get it figured out And yet no their marriage is actually incredibly functional. It’s not a love marriage I don’t think there’s any boomer that could ever have the marriage that they have. I don’t think there’s a boomer alive who would’ve ever allow themselves to be married in the way that they are other people in Gen X that could’ve done it maybe probably not they’re very forward thinking in that way and rebellious. Their their marriage is kind of straight out of the 1800s to some degree or early 1900s it’s not dysfunctional if they’re not being statistically harassed they actually functioning incredibly well as parents the stability that they bring to their family and even their neighborhood is essential for the survival of United States and this and stability that he brings to his business. He literally has saved his company over $1 million at this point, he found a mistake that save them $1 million and he’s a genius and Lacey’s not as dysfunctional as it might seem if there’s an illuminati she’s actually profoundly stoic and difficult to deal with.

If you want to make a Jewish conspiracy, be careful because there’s no I never conspired with any Jew I might be so much genetically Jewish but it’s very possible that my family is actually anti-somatic and even though we’re so much Jewish at and we don’t show up on 23 and me is Jewish at all And almost well there are some people who might but that’s because they’re their parents are Jewish none of my descendants through me or my husband would show up on 23 m Jewish that I’m aware of and yet I may be somewhat Ashkenazi Jew or is it actually sheep Herdic? I don’t know but actually I do know but Lacey doesn’t so I’m not going to say but we are so much Jewish, and it was in Germany. We were being persecuted. They moved to Norway and they became Lutheran and did they maintain the traditions of the faith home not in my generation, possibly my great grandfather’s generation, or my grandfathers generation I’d heard about some thing, but I mean I heard about it, but I was not raised Jewish lol and neither was my father, but they were the silver smiths but no I wasn’t and I wasn’t an 80s conspiracy with anyone Jewish it’s far more likely that you people oversimplifying it over complicate things at the same time the Jews are extraordinarily clannish. There’s a reason they’ve survived since the time of Jesus, and yet you don’t like that reality and so you try to say that the Palestinians are the Jews you know there could be some Palestinians that have Jewish ancestry but I don’t think that’s where most of them came From And I would bet most Jews are descendants of the original Jews there a lot of people around the world that have Jewish ancestry that you wouldn’t know and I’ll be one of them if I didn’t say something in the thing that you don’t seem to realize that Jesus was Jewish you can make him Palestinian in someway, but that’s not the faith that he had. He was a Jew, and if you want to argue that with me, I’m not gonna take you seriously because that’s just historical fact if he existed he was Jewish and I’m saying that to try to help you so lighten up as they say right he is not an atypical Jew they are not an easy group of people to contend with. They are fairy fairy difficult to kill to extinguish and deal with an over the centuries, save evolved, an amazing ability to make and maintain money And a time to be drawn to each other they’re human though or they probably are no humans so lighten up again but you gotta understand that that’s what did US that’s why the Nazis killed them because they’re so fucking impossible yeah I’m swearing because I’m starting to get angry seat You don’t like when people challenge you because your narcissist a lot of racism is just about narcissism and so is antisemitism. but by the same token to try to give you a little benefit of the doubt you’re not delusional the Jews are difficult so it’s not simple right it’s like on the one hand maybe they’re not pure evil and that’s an oversimplification and it’s childish and archaic but by the same token you weren’t delusional you’re childish and you oversimplified things.

Could they be more evil than some people? Yes, do you just have should you just trust them? No, of course not but at the same time, how much can they trust you? How good are you? They’re really just an incredibly difficult group of people with probably the same amount of sin as most people groups. They’re just far more difficult than most people groups are to deal with. Is there a diaspore or they were and they’re still around they’re just extraordinarily difficult OK and maybe that’s exceptional is a People group maybe it’s not it could just be that there is one of the most difficult groups to get rid of which is not a bad thing necessarily Right I mean there are some cultures that are extinct I mean literally they’ve gone extinct there’s probably hundreds of cultures of people that we just don’t even know about much less cultures have gone extinct that we do know that so there’s those people that aren’t around anymore that you may or may not have weight And then there’s the Jews who refused to go away and you know what maybe that’s a good thing maybe it’s a bad thing it depends on the person it depends on the circumstance and that’s where you have to be a little more healthy and rational. Does that make sense?

And then really you have to ask yourself why do you think it’s bad for humans to survive that probably harkens whether you know it or not back to a discussion in your head that you’re having with yourself at least about global warming what does it mean to be the fittest what is the fittest you know and really if it’s not being narcissistic, it could still irritate you Because the worlds in serious trouble but that’s a relatively new problem we haven’t been in this much trouble for probably about 60 years 60 years ago. We still were healthy enough as in a world where if we really address global warming we would’ve been fine is there if there is global warming if we’d addressed at 60 years ago we wouldn’t even what’s global warming we sold it and then you know if there was something else happening we would be able to figure out what it was far more easily. But that’s not what happened so it happened at all and so now we’re dealing with the reality of global warming and a lot of you don’t think Jews are good because they survived and you think they have all the money and all the oil from my husband‘s not Jewish at all, we didn’t raise our kids Jewish they’re Lutheran and there’s really no way to prove that I’m Jewish even if I am very distantly see and that’s why you shouldn’t oversimplify things.

Do we have some thing in common open with the aesthetic of Billie Eilish? The current musician that’s popular or was popular yes slightly but not necessarily see what you got to understand is the spartan scarcity and difficulty of being a pioneer and I think you’re kind of grasping that, and that was where our aesthetic came from our Scandinavian ancestry With, and also our good health for the most part and our determination to survive and thrive in North Dakota.

Which brings me back to Lacey if she’s illegitimate she’s not Jewish necessarily at all she’s Dutch German maybe a little French and English and Norwegian but she was raised by us so she was drawn to Mark her husband whether she’s actually genetically Jewish or not. Are they and they they actually do get along very well yeah. And other people in my family have married Jewish people as well. As I’ve said it is amazing how that works isn’t it?

Oh, but then that’s where if Lacey’s illegitimate still on that topic it’s become so complicated and you kept pressing the issue and pressing the issue and so now her kids as she’s being suffocated by Bobby and other people in the illuminati are not just hurts they’re also lambs Yeah those are literally loves children downstairs. He can see if them with her. It’s very complicated but they’re not just Mark‘s children. They are Marks children and they’re no other living man’s children. Oh that would be impossible and there be no scientific explanation for that is impossible, but they are. They are lemons Kitts it’s him. He’s a father. They look like him slightly they talk like him, there’s times Lacey has seen their eyes look like his was just a tiny tweak they look like him they know him and that’s the problem that’s not the way that anyone should be living their life.

You can’t keep playing both sides. You can’t blame the Jews for all evil on earth, Bobby, and some stupid ass conspiracy, that you idiotically, maintain, and believe it fervently, while being in the illuminati and practicing profound amounts of evil yourself. You’re in the conspiracy Bobby, you are the Jew, you are Bill Gates. You are the problem you write books, trying to uncover all the mysteries and evil of evil in the universe sweetie. You are the answer to all of the mysteries that you write it’s you you’re the answer you write the books about what happened when honey you’re the one that did it.

*Do You? by TroyBoi plays*

If Zelenskyy is dead, I served him lutefisk Lefse, mashed potatoes and gravy, roast beef carrots, a pork chop, and angel food cake in the last four hours in my kitchen. I know a heck of a lot at this point about a lot and Lacey is in very strong connection with me as you can tell there are things in my house or I’m sorry her house that belong to me that she can look at right now as she’s talking to you writing this so be careful. And I know what’s going on if Zelenskyy is in my kitchen, he’s telling me and he’s having fun probably a lot more fun than he’d feel comfortable having if it wasn’t for the fact that he died miserably if he’s not dead, then he may be in my kitchen when he does that some point, but he may not be It might be a Ukrainian, who I’m entertaining, and not Solinski am I but if it is Linsky, he’s dead, do you know if it’s him or not Seay that’s the kind of thing that you people don’t know you have these dumb conspiracies within the illuminati about the Jews well, you’re the illuminati and your pair evil no there could be us there could be something to it don’t get rid of the idea that there’s nothing to it at all Because there’s conspiracies within conspiracies, but at the same time if you’re looking for evil, don’t forget yourselves in your equations. Yeah so it it’s just weird that you guys don’t seem to realize that Zelensky could be dead and in my kitchen because you’re obsessed with Lem’s being gay still because let’s be honest the two things most of the people that we’ve been talking to you for the last two days practically nonstop are obsessed with are Lem’s’s sexual orientation and the fact that my family is old money but it bothers you because we had a fake tree in our living room.” says Gunhild Nesheim.

“ yes that’s true thought that that basically is it you’re right no she’s right those are two over arching top priority concerns and really add in some sense that has been our overarching largest most dire concern as the United States on the world stage things to Diego bless his heart. We have been worried for the last eight years about Lem’s’s sexual orientation, and trying to somehow prove to Lacey that our arrogance and conceit when we talk to her like we’re her social superior is not arrogance and conceit, but well grounded reality those are that is what Joe campaign on that is the only thing a Country has come to stand for on the world stage is at the Nesheims arms are poor white trash, not love was gay, and in love with Jack forever.” says a journalist.

“no she’s right that is all that that that is all that we have been allowed to be obsessed with if there is an illuminati that is all that the illuminati in America has allowed the American illuminati to be obsessed with for eight years those are the only two things you people had any concern about any United States at all.” yells Chris Christie.

“ so that’s why she wrote the post like it makes sense but it was some sort of strategic plan on her part to attack you people that’s not stupid. It actually does seem slightly touched me to be honest and I don’t think your people have any clue what you’re messing with I just want to say that we are not people to get into a fight with in the way that you’re fighting with her you could probably have strangle her to death. She’s probably a very pretty petite, female with tiny bones, no other Dutch women who look like that too but that’s not the fight that you’re having with her you’re having a very stupid fight that I don’t have any clue how you how do you win this argument?” says a Dutch witch.