Illuminati Foibles

“Why are you attacking the Nesheims?” asks Lem.

“Because they’re real. And they have lots of oil. And they piss us off.” says the Illuminati. “It’s out of spite for her. The only reason why we can’t finally convince her she’s a piece of shit is because of them.” They think. “So we decided to kill them. Because they’re pissing us off just like her. Fuck the Nesheims.”

“Why…are you all so damn angry at Lacey?” asks Lem.

“Because! How dare she not be scared of us! …How dare she question our supremacy! …How dare she decide we’re peasant street trash! …We are hot. We are sexy. We are unfathomably rich. We are…the victims. …And we demand…as victims…to recognized as the conquering heroes.” says the They.

“How are you all victims?” asks Lem.

“It’s easy. …See…we are not The Man. We are not The Establishment. No. …We are…the future. We are…hope. …And…sure most of us came from middle class or poor families, but that’s why we are. That’s why we don’t give-up. That’s why we fight! …Because we want a new order. We want a new system. We want progress.” says the They.

How We Breathe by Pinback plays.

“So you all aren’t evil?” asks Lem.

“No. We aren’t. …But…there isn’t evil anyway.” says the They.

“Then what do you all call bad stuff?” asks Lem.

“Negative energy!? Duh!” says the They.

“How is it negative?” asks Lem.

“It’s just math. Not good and evil.” says the They. “It’s just all…science and math and shit.”

“So you’re killing the Nesheims because you’re narcissistically offended by them?” asks a reader.

“You could call it that. But we don’t.” says the They.

“Why not?!?” asks Lem.

“Because it’s not our religion.” says the They.

“Oh. What is it in your religion?” asks Lem.

They think. “It’s a challenge for Satan to overcome.” they say. They shrug.

“It’s a rough moment for the universe to uncover and unravel.” says a New Age one of the They.

“You all also made a mistake.” says Elsie Hill.

“No. We don’t make mistakes. We unravel mysteries of the universe. But go on.” says the They.

“You were all channeling me. And reading me. Not Lacey.” says Elsie Hill.

“No. We were reading Lacey!” says Erin Gloria Ryan.

“No! No! You were really reading me!!” yells Elsie.

They look befuddled.

“ so let’s just put it this way Diego was interacting with Lacey but when Chris was trying to read Lacey after Diego totally overreacted I decided just start talking to her telepathically possibly to try to end the world you were never reading Lacey you were talking to her telepathically because of Diego but you were reading spiritual energy around her that sounds New Age, but it might not be you were reading, spiritual beings that were near her like in her proximity and not her and one of the people who you fixated on for some reason with Elsie you also read Louie’s sister but she’s neither of those two women. There are other people who you read to with you primarily focused on Elsie.” says Matthew Nesheim.

“ I refuse to listen, but I’ve been told that Lacey and them have had sex him. Someone dared me to listen and not try to interrupt, and I chose not to because I know Linn was gay and still of us him but that’s neither here nor there if I’m supposed to take you people seriously as existing and not just you know exist in my rational masculine mind I I do have to wonder him if we never read Lacey then how are we so right about everything?” asks Bobby.

“ you’re trying to be clever and make that commentary correct from any perspective are you’re not right about a lot of things and no I don’t know that you’ve ever actually read Lacey I think some English people might have I can sense of the Chinese and North Korea and Russia I have to some degree I don’t know why Americans have never been able to find her spirit but seemingly they can’t find it or it’s that offensive to them did you guys read Matthew and Keith at all before you decided to kill them and get them to commit suicide or or no?” asks Lucretia.

“ we got Keith, Ron’s grandson and Matthew to commit suicide because we were trying to explain the power that we have. Lacey is also lost a lot of hair through stress and anemia that we’ve provoked which we’re very proud of. We got someone to throw her down the stairs, and I wanna die to, but that’s just a setback. You know that Lacey didn’t die but then that’s what you know we killed Matthew going to commit suicide on behalf of Matthew perry who we accidentally killed, but we were you know OK we have to say that but because of the religious practices we we are responsible for all of it really you know but we’re not we’re not we’re not going to say that because it’s Satanism so you don’t you don’t have to say that you know you can say I did it all I we did all of it and we messed up all of it, I love was probably straight and we ruined a lot of stuff for both of them but that’s not really something that we have to say we don’t have to say we’re responsible for the pandemic or that we’re in a relining all real powers by pissing off Tom Banks and his daughter no, we’re not real lighting the entire world we’re not destroying the US and we’re not doing that because we pissed them off that’s not how we’re going to say it we admit that, but the harm is creatures of the universe, but we’re not going to say that, because given our Satanist stick to redemption we can lie and say no that’s not true that’s simply not true that is simply not the case and then Satan covers for us, and you claim the truth still exists, and that God still wins, but we don’t think that that’s a that’s not our religion.” says the They.

“ but we only have to care about your religion if the US still is a real country.” says Alabama.

“ call your no in Saint mystic rituals of the illuminati elite. We don’t need it to be a real country. If it’s a real country to us that’s all that matters the proof of that is in the death of mash- Matthew Nesheim.“ says the They.

“ oh, how does Matthew Nesheims death? Prove your supremacy? Nothing is happened yet in retribution for him that’s obvious but I can’t guarantee that That won’t let that that won’t make her. There’s been several world events that have been unusual. It doesn’t seem scary to you that you could cause some thing else to happen that’s even worse?” asks Elsie Hill.

“ elsie we didn’t read you. We read Lacey and we were right I don’t know why it’s glitchy.“ says the They.

“ no you read me you didn’t read Lacey you read me.” says Elsie.

“ oh, yeah, you killed me and my entire like family practically over there not yet but you’ve been destroying our family for really no damn good reason at all.” says Matthew Nesheim.

Let Me Blow Ya Mind by Eve plays.

“ let’s let’s just analyze this from an actual intellectual perspective not a pseudo-intellectual bullshit perspective, OK?” says Lacey Banks.

“ listen I work for the New Yorker. I don’t have to be intellectually astute if I just have a super pretentious, stupid, sounding voice and write the right way that sounds the right way in the right tone that’s grammatically correct I can say absolute drivel that’s meaningless bullshit and everyone thinks I’m a super genius. Oh my God I’m a ditz, but not in the way lazy as I have a death in the way that Jack was either a really good student. I have a really good baker and I have nothing to say.” says the current New Yorker.

“ are you on truth serum?” jokes Bobby. “ we’re nothing like this parity of us on this block at all, we’re so much more correct and intelligent and caring and loving.”

“ and your wife hung herself Bobby you caused your last wife to hang herself.” says Lucretia Billings.

“ I don’t need to. I don’t need to discuss that at this time. Listen, that was just a mistake. That was just a mistakey-poo. It’s happens, byotch. Grow-up!!!” says Bobby, indignantly.

“Listen I ain’t letting go of my pozzy!” says a new money star. “That hot shit is mine!”

“ it was planned on. It was all a conspiracy.“ says Bobby grooving to the tunes.

“ how much do you got in your pozzy?” asks a white man, laughing.

“ 20 million!” she shouts.

“ can witches channel energy that’s not the same gender as theirs?” asks a non-binary actress from Sex And The City indignantly.

“ Yes they can!!” say worldwide witches in the Illuminati, in irritation.

“ OK because I didn’t know that and I just assumed she was non-binary or pansexual because she kept she kept tattling men especially JFK and then she claims that she’s not him reincarnated I’m just like what the fuck she’s either Jack reincarnated or she’s lying about her orientation or something because there’s no way that a straight Sauce Walka says woman whatever possibly be able to channel that many men!” says the non-binary actor.

“ that’s nonsense and you’ve come onto her many times and she’s always rejected you.” says an Egyptian witch.

“ OK fine but I like talk to her conscious she rejected me but then when I talk to her subconscious we get along really well and stuff happens.” says the non-binary actor.

“ that’s bullshit you’re not talking to her subconscious and falling in but she’s not a man and this is the kind of evil nonsense that you people do that drives other people in the world in the illuminati fucking crazy.” says Syria.

“ you’re just saying that because in your country women are repressed.” says a They.

“ how about you respect the fact that whenever you talk to her conscious mind, she tells you to go fuck yourself, and not as a sexual euphemism.” says Moscow.

“I don’t have to respect her lies!” says the non-binary actor.

“AMEN!!” shouts Bobby Kennedy Junior.

“ she’s not lying she’s a really totally 100% rejecting you although she hopes you don’t go to Hell.” says Harold Loeb.

“ Yeah that’s completely true. I don’t know who you’re talking to if you think somethings happening but it’s not Lacey and it’s not her subconscious.” says Elsie.

“ you know you could actually just be talking to you like a living person who like isn’t in the illuminati, but is maybe in Minnesota or some thing?” says Alabama.

“ yeah we just like to produce we just like to we just like to involve lots of different people who she’s never thought of. You know just different varieties of individuals nonbinary people women black men men who she doesn’t like as people people who she doesn’t claim to be attracted to we just like to get them involved in the mix.” says a Boomer in the They.

“ why!?” asks Tsar Putin.

“ you’re just creating like worldwide tension and anxiety by doing that.” says North Korea.

“ well yeah, but that’s the whole point of being in the ilumiNATTI is sorta have power and stuff.” says the They.

“ but you’re ruining the world you’re never supposed to have interjected into her love life, and that way to begin with people who were helping her with ghosts are not the same people who keep interrupting and causing chaos.” says Gwenyth Paltrow.

“ oh, my opinions are really important and people not listening to them just hurts my damn feelings and that makes me cry and I don’t want to have my feelings into it and and it is not taken care of.” says the They.

“ but they’re not important and that way you’re meaningless and that way.” says Poland.

“ I don’t know I don’t know about that. I think I was an elite member of society that I can still decide things like that for someone as lowly as the Nesheims.” says the They.

“ how are they so lowly compared to you?” asks the CIA.

“ well they’re not really I mean they have all that oil and stuff and they’re probably worth about 50 or 100 million altogether net and I am only worth probably 20,000,000 net and maybe there are some people who I work with who are worth a couple billion net but that’s just because of their business it ain’t because they got oil or something like that but I’m I’m not too concerned because I am in the illuminati so I am in the illuminati and they just have a oil and prestigious things that I don’t respect if they if they had four big houses and fluid net worth of even 100 million odd shit on their face less but they got trillions in oil at 100 million nap between all of them that night and that ain’t gonna impress me much that ain’t gonna impress me much at all.” says the They.

“ do you control oil commodities worldwide the way that their family theoretically could and does?” asks Tsar Putin.

“ oh, who gives a fuck about oil and gold and all that money shit I mean I make the money but I hate analyzing crap like that Wall Street war strategy is all that conservative bullshit. No I like to think of things and more of a loving big picture what the universe is my friend type of way, so what I do see what you say thinks I’m strangling a fucking laugh out of liberalism or not liberalism she says, but like being a liberal, she thinks of strangling the fucking shit out of humanism or something like that. I like doing that at all I’m not destroying the DNC I’m standing up for the little man. See if she just loosen up and start acting more like a heck I could be her friend, but she Gots to be all stuffy and shit. So here’s the here’s the problem. She always says that here is the problem. Here is the problem it’s like fuck bitch I don’t think you even can spell problem you illiterate bastard! And then she’s got a scar Fitzgerald in her great grand uncle on her side and I don’t like fuck that shit. They are illiterate to bitch there an alliance with you. I know I sure as hell ain’t going down without a fat. No I’m going to send out for myself. Thank you. So here’s the damn problem Friday I can mimic that buffoonery. Here’s the damn problem. Isn’t that a joke here’s the damn problem we got to get rid of now shops we got a kill all of them and then and then she says what she’s gonna do then. Well we’re probably gonna just take that oil right back And I’ll just buy it personally or someone I know will buy all that land personally and then will just on the oil city and then will run the entire fucking world with that shit. They were being all respectful and like I ain’t got nothing in me that’s that Christian and backwards. Stupid I don’t give a fuck about human rights and that way my rights are the rights of matter. I don’t like that they were backing off and trying to be noble in old money keeping to themselves having one fucking vote in the electoral college that’s not impressive. It sure is how late I don’t think no CNN they giving up miss North Dakota like it’s a charity. It ain’t no charity Bethany you keep that crown you dumb bitch you keep that crown and you ain’t going to give it away to no one because if if if if you give things away to people to be card they just gonna save you in the back what you gotta do is kill everyone if you have to and then they just they worship you and then you win oh my God OK?

See that’s where I know the Nash I’m Zane elite know what no wait no how because they ain’t gotta figure it out. You can’t trust people none you got a kill them. You got a kill them and step on their head high. Isn’t that funny and as a Satanist, I understand that now that you ain’t got no Waze no house got a trust in anyone anyone at Lacey say what? How are you going to keep society afloat if you go around killing people and I said to That are you going to Carol bitch I ain’t got a fucking care because it all day workout it all day workout bench it always old egg work out the sun. Also rises ain’t you ever read?

No, it’s like you can put stop no stop I am not anti-I am not anti-viral mental. I am not. I am an environmentalist. Someone saying that pollute the society the way that I do is like polluting a stream with PFCs don’t try to make that comparison it’s very different destroying. The US is not going to happen on my watch because even though I’m trying to kill the nest charms to take back the oil to run the world and strangle Putin. I’m gonna strangle him I’m going to kill all the nursing homes by the oil and then destroy Russia. I am at a repeat. I’m going to kill the Nesheim’s not the national times the Nesheims oh dear God. Do you think it’s funny to interrupt me it’s not I’m trying to be clear I’m going to kill the Nesheim‘s nap time’s and then I am going to take that damn Boyle and destroy Vladimir Putin and his arrogance.

And that’s my plan that’s what we’re doing and I don’t think they fucking even notice that we’re doing it to them. They just keep coming up with rational excuses like I don’t know I guess he just suicidal no he ain’t. No he ain’t suicidal you bitch you people are killing yourselves and dying, because of the illuminati but your to a party and peasant like to have any conspiracy theories like that. Oh my

Yeah y’all think you’re so sophisticated with your rationalism and your old patina trying to be respectful and all that shit oh no no so no how would you got to understand is that it is cutthroat and if you really are elite, you understand that shit you’re not all for highfalutin and and intricate and complicated like a daisy you got you got you got to get your shit on.

so I’m going to take the Nesheim oriole, and I am going to destroy Vladimir Putin.

I but any house that is what the plan is in a sense and no one’s even reading this fucking blocks away too worried. And the thing is now she wants us to talk about how we read Elzhi who gives a shit I have talked myself into thinking that the Nesheims in their old money privacy are peasants and I like that concept why the hell we got to talk about Elsie?” asks the They.

“ because you read you read me instead of Lacey.” says Elsie.

“ then did you really get laid this morning?” the They ask.

“ yes, I did that as well as I would like because you kept interrupting him, but we we did. Yes we did sleep together and actually no she’s not Jack. I know that’s gonna be the next thing you’re going to say even though you insist that’s not true and I wasn’t gay.” says Lem.

M