“Jack’s Sexy Fuck III” by Lem Billings

Nights Introlude by Nightmares On Wax plays.

Jack Kennedy.

He slept with dozens and dozens of other people. Men and women both.

A Beautiful Mine by RJD2 plays.

…When he slept with men. He was…real. When he slept with women…he was…fake. But his heart was in the same place, regardless.

Concept 1 by Kodomo plays.

You imagine this:

(Adult content below)

“Oh Jack! Take me!” says Marilyn Monroe.

But what happened was this:

“Hey.” said Jack, putting his hands in his pockets.

Unimpressed, “Hello, Jack.” said Marilyn.

And they stood there and talked. Far too long. …And then Jack…eventually…got around to having sex with Marilyn.

It was…bad sex. But Jack lied and acted like he was in love. Sort of. …It wasn’t some hot and heavy affair. …If you want that you’d have to investigate her relationship with Arthur Miller. They were very in love. …No.

I’m In The Mood for Love by Louis Armstrong plays.

Jack confused Marilyn.

If they had an affair. He confused her.

Jack…was cold…but Marilyn couldn’t figure out why. She assumed he was…rejecting her. On some deep level. But she couldn’t figure out why. And it really hurt.

…I didn’t make excuses for Jack. I patronized him. …And…I felt he was inferior to me. Why didn’t you intuit that?! …I was so patronizing. …I don’t think you understand. I was…in a “dead marriage” but…with the premise that that’s all life had to offer someone like me. I didn’t think I could escape. And…so…I tried to make the best of it. And…while I cared that Jack slept around…in a way….I didn’t. But that’s another thing. We’ve avoided that, unfortunately…because it’s sad. And I had…tragically ill-conceived ideas about sex.

But in the meantime…let’s discuss Jack.

So…with sex with women he’d prefer to go quick, finish and be done. He’d be nice to them afterwards. But he hated them at times too. …Like…when they’d bond with him…and then expect him to be normal. Have some sort of relationship. …He liked to be married. He was in love with Jackie. But…he was a snobby, heartless asshole…and a catty bitch. He hated feeling different. So he’d…narcissistically freak out and take it out on the woman in a malignant fashion. …And while he was married to Jackie he’d use her to bully women. He’d shame and insult them…using Jackie. …So while Jackie was being hurt that she was being cheated on…these women were devastated by his snobbery of them as people. He’d act like they were inferior goods compared to his beloved, chic, glamorous, elegant wife. So…while…he was a cheater…in a very twisted way…he was secretly loyal to her.

Emnete by Mulatu Astatke plays.

He was…her fan. He was a huge fan of Jackie Kennedy. …He really did love her and her whole…empire…in a way. They were in love.

I should have been devastated by that. But…she was amiable and pleasant company. She was…fun, even. And I was straight. So…I adjusted.

In a way Jack was…like the Jai Alai client in Mad Men. He…had lots of far-fetched ideas. He had lots of convoluted methods of making things happen. He…didn’t understand that…being a fan of Jackie Kennedy was gay. Admiring her clothes and hair and everything…and worshiping her…like she was his idol…was not heterosexual. But he didn’t realize that. …And then he coupled that with heterosexual sex with her. Because he was attracted to women too. So…one minute he was obsessed with her make-up and dress…like she was his favorite paper doll ever…and then the next minute…he wanted to try to make love to her.

He’d…try to be romantic and they’d make love. And he’d go starry-eyed. But…as a malignant narcissist that was extremely scary to him…so he’d freak out and sabotage it. He’d cheat. He’d distance himself. …But…being in love with her…and a closeted bisexual with little self-awareness…he’d then use Jackie…to bully women like she was his Regina George. She was…mean. And catty. And yet…she seemed nice. So…it was delicious to Jack. He loved having sex with women and then turning around and snubbing them and making a grand exit on the way out. …Did Jackie know that? Maybe. …But she was still hurt by him.

Lacey wouldn’t find it amusing at all… Joe tried that maneuver with Vanessa Trump.

“The idea was to make fun of her!” he said pleadingly in fear and desperation to Lacey in 2021. But she couldn’t make sense of it.

“That’s not a thing Joe!” Lacey yelled indignantly in response.

The Fugue by Dj T-Rock & Squashy Nice plays.

And…Lacey is right. It’s not a thing. Jackie was still hurt. Very hurt, in fact. …But…at the same time…she understood what Jack was doing…if she knew…and she…probably enjoyed it. I’m sorry. Jackie could be genuinely mean. Both Jack and Jackie were cruel at times…and in their shared evil they might have bonded.

Lacey doesn’t enjoy bullying people as dangerous as she is. She’s not mean. She’s scary. …And so…to her it’s absolute rubbish…and she’s right. But…that part of Joe that loved her…was also missed. And…now Joe and Vanessa are attached…because Lacey didn’t detach him. And Pat refuses to…out of frustration, on her own part.

No…Jack…was…confused. And mean. And…narcissistic. He…didn’t ever seem to recognize that he was was deeply attached to men…

I was his…husband…in the back of his mind. And I knew that… But…it was completely dysfunctional. Obviously. I was straight and in the closet, in a way. …See…part of the reason I stayed “in the closet” was because for me it wasn’t a real closet. …It was an illusion. …So I was scared for very sane emotional reasons…to leave “the closet.” It scared me. It really scared me. I didn’t want to lose myself. …I wasn’t “ready to commit” to being called homosexual. Because…it made me feel anxious and extremely uncomfortable. …I earnestly believed I was gay. It was purely intellectual…but…I believed it. I was that principled of a man. I still am. Lots of men and women in the past were. …People are today too. But it manifests in polarized political beliefs maybe. Or it has.

I believed I was gay. And I fought over it even, occasionally. Because I didn’t think I was wrong. And I felt progressive at times even. And yet…it also scared me. Because…in reality…I wasn’t gay at all. It’s hilarious in a very morbid, tragic way.

I was, however, somehow…magically gay in Jack’s mind…and…always in love with him. People say I was a fawning, obsessed man. I was not, really. I’m sorry. I was…trying to be gay…because I thought I was gay. And I was married to a narcissist. I was…totally detached and…I became obsessive, if I was at all, in an attempt to make sense of him…and…I chose to be around him because I was trying to be…happy. I…thought I was married…instead of being obsessed. So…essentially I was constantly and consistently misinterpreted. By most people. My father would have been able to reach me…and make sense of it all…but he was dead.

The Vibe by Josh Vietti plays.

I didn’t know how to explain. And Jack took over everything. He was extraordinarily manipulative, possessive and delusional.

He drank his own Kool-Aid though. He didn’t question things too deeply for too long. Not because he couldn’t…but because he didn’t want to. He was bored by it, spoiled, and he wanted to believe lies worked…because he was both stupid and backward…and evil hearted.

So…while I masturbated to Playboy and more happily to thoughts of Lacey…(no, really it was her)…he believed he had a completely faithful husband. A man who ironed his clothes, gave him blow-jobs, and took care of his kids. A man who was like…”SO OBSESSED…with him.”

“Oh my god!! Lem is OBSESSED with me. OMG!” says a Millennial JFK to his friends. He scoffs. “He’s so annoying. But like…whatever. He’s kinda hot. Abs! And…I could totally see us just being friends. Like…really good friends. …Because…he gives good head. And…I’m just ready for something to hang on to. Like…I need someone in my corner. And…it’s just time. It’s just time I had that. You know? I need that right now. …He’s obnoxious though. Oh my god! Look at the flowers he sent md yesterday.” He texts a photo of a bouquet. “Isn’t that so stupid?! Like…we’re not even dating…and he’s sending me flowers!? LOSER! But…I’m fine with it. He’s such a sweetie!”

Except…I bought the flowers to try to be gay. That’s all. Really. …They weren’t actually that meaningful to me. …And…most of that is only his perception, sadly in a way for him. Because he’s the one who’s actually in love. Not me. It just looks like it’s me.

…And don’t forget he was evil and brought it all on himself. But…maybe there’s a reason God didn’t make him cease to exist. And maybe he’s only in excruciating suffering temporarily. He ruined me. He ruined Lacey. And he greatly harmed the US. …Bobby was right. It was a very stupid commercial. But…I can see why it made sense when he made it. It seems kitschy and cool. But…really…it’s…only effective with people who aren’t very genuinely intellectual. …I’m sorry.

…But yes. Jack made a fool of himself.

Theme From The Iron Horse by The Sound Effects plays.

Jack folds his legs over each other and sips a pink umbrella cocktail. In the sun. Wearing sunglasses. He’s tan. Saggy and plump. But very well dressed.

“I did. I drove him down to Miami!” says Jack sipping through a straw. He gossips with Judith Exner.

“Jack. Why!? He’s-“ says Judith, uneasily.

They’re in Palm Beach? Sunning themselves.

“Why not!?” asks Jack, laughing.

“You can’t-“ starts Judith.

Jack twists his face in demonstrative confusion.

“Jack!” says Judith.

Jack laughs.

“He’s not even supposed to be here. …It looks strange.” says Judith.

“Judith…he’s just a way of coping. I’m an extremely stressed man these days. I need help!” says Jack.

Uneasy, “Why!?”

“Lighten-up! It’s just a thing. We’ve been doing it since…well…since forever.” says Jack.

“A thing you do? Jack. Like your injections!?” asks Judith.

“Those are medicinal!” says Jack.

“You’re getting high!” says Judith.

Jack eats potato chips. Makes a mess. Wipes it away off his chest. Looks frumpy. And grumpy.

“Wanna have some fun?” asks Jack.

“Pot!?!” asks Judith.

“Yeah!” says Jack. He winks at her.

“Why aren’t we married?” asks Judith.

“Because! You’re too sexy!” says Jack, laughing.

And at that they get high and have sex. On the patio.

Waking up from a nap. Lem takes a shower and thinks of women.

Post-coital, Jack lays with Judith on the ground. Under the shade of an umbrella.

They stare up into the umbrella and the blue sky.

“What do you suppose Lem is doing now even?” scoffs Jack.

Chant by Moondog plays.

“He’s probably just…masturbating. Thinking of you.” says Judith smiling, teasingly.

“Alone in that hotel room? Man! That’s an image!” says Jack, feigning genuine disapproval.

“Yeah. It’s true.” says Judith.

Jack rolls around and laughs at Lem with Judith.

“Man. You really are square. …He’s your lover.” says Judith.

Jack stares at her coldly.

“No. He’s not. He’s a friend!” says JFK, defensively.

Passion by Nightmares On Wax plays.

“Jack. You’re such a confusing man.” says Judith.

“Yeah? You wanna do me a favor? Help me up…and then give me a shower.” says Jack.

“Yeah. Alright.” says Judith, morosely.

Lem…wasn’t thinking about Jack…at all. Just like how he played golf and forgot about Jack Kennedy…he wasn’t thinking of Jack in the shower.

The song draws to a close. But imagine real strings.

Riverside Blues as performed by Louis Armstrong plays.

In New Orleans…

In the 1960’s.

“Lem. Why do always look so happy whenever I see you?” asks JFK drunk, and riding around on a cart with Lem.

“Because!” says Lem laughing, and looking very straight. He doesn’t get it.

Jack pushes his sunglasses up his nose. He looks gay or bisexual as he does it, whereas Lem always looks straight. It’s in the fingers.

“I’m not sure! You seem-“ Jack sighs like a pissed-off wife, suspecting an affair at work.

Natural Cause by Emacipator plays.

Lem is drunk too. He’s dozing off.

“You seem…” says Jack. And as Lem falls asleep Jack cries. But he’s drunk and then becomes distracted absentmindedly by Mardi Gras decorations. He stares at them.

Jackie walks up.

“He fell asleep!” says Jack, brightly.

“Oh, that’s fine. Let him sleep. Let’s go get dressed for dinner.” says Jackie.

“Oh. Okay.” says Jack carefully maneuvering out of the cart.

Jackie waits patiently.

“They’ll wake him up.” says Jack, lumbering to the ground.

“Yes!” says Jackie.

And they slowly make their way to their hotel.

Lem sleeps. Slouched over. He bats his face as he wakes up. He’s hot.

He awkwardly gets up and awkwardly walks back to his own hotel room, sweaty and still tired.

…And while he…became deeply attached to his own fantasy life…that was exclusively heterosexual…Jack believes. Jack believes?

“Jack is Lem cheating on you?” asks Lacey, breaking the fourth wall.

He eats seafood in a dark, chilled restaurant.

“With who!?” says Jack, indignantly.

“Me?” asks Lacey Banks.

Cold Little Heart (Radio Edit) by Michael Kiwanuka plays.

“That’s stupid!” says JFK, laughing in his own head.

“No. It’s not. Or is it? What do you think?” asks Lacey Banks.

“It’s silly. It’s silly!” says JFK in his own mind, like a happy, obtuse, ignorant idiot.

Jack hears the song in his mind. It creeps him out.

“Jackie. Do you think aliens exist?” asks JFK of Jackie.

New Orleans is very haunted. And some dead people have a great sense of humor.

…

What happened with Marilyn?

What happened with Red Fay?

He had a bizarre…one-sided…totally dysfunctional and delusional relationship with me. I was his (actually) straight “best friend” who thought he was gay…and Red was…

What was Red Fay?

Look…while Red Fay and him made love as much as gay men can…

“We can’t talk about this!” says JFK getting up from the bed where he had just made love with Red.

“Jack. We’re in love.” says (bisexual) Red, quietly and carefully.

Dance The Night Away by Dua Lipa plays for Jack and Red.

And so Jack and Red…became a real couple.

“Hey.” said JFK on the phone to Red.

“When does Jackie get home?” asks Red, quietly.

“Soon!” says JFK.

Red laughs sexily into the phone.

JFK shows embarrassment and fear and begins shuffling papers.

Red licks his lips. Waits.

“Why did you call, Red?” asks Jack eventually.

“Just to ask you…” says Red, trailing off.

Jack looks around to see if the door is shut.

“Asks me what?” asks JFK. “What panties I’m wearing?”

“Don’t. We’re men. …Jack. I need you.” says Red.

Daylight by David Kushner plays.

Jack cries quickly and in despair rubs his face with the palm of his hand. Finally he laughs at himself.

“Jack. Let’s take this somewhere. Let’s be in love.” says Red.

“Red-“ Jack cries. “I love you…but it’s too sick.” He says in vast amounts of fear.

“Jack. I can’t kill myself.” says Red, apologetically.

“We can’t- We just can’t!” says Jack in his Boston accent.

They remain in mutual silence for a few minutes.

Did anyone hear them? Yes! They did. Of course they did. …If such a conversation ever happened…

Come a Little Closer by Cage The Elephant plays. Joe Jr. sings it.

…

Marilyn…was…teetering on the edge. Even if she didn’t commit suicide…they used that against her.

She…was devastated. If there was an affair with the Kennedys…she was…sick. It made her ill in her mind and she collapsed into herself at times. She clouded over in her face and began losing track of reality outside of herself. …It was almost like seizure activity.

But…maybe she might have been fine? But then she wasn’t.

“No. I don’t want you here!” bit JFK, coldly on the phone with Marilyn.

“Why? Why?” pleaded Marilyn, quietly.

And at that Jack hung-up.

Later:

“Jack!” whispered Marilyn into the phone.

“Marilyn, I’m very busy and I can’t talk right now!” said Jack in a pissy voice that sounded quite bisexual.

Marilyn was baffled.

“Jack! We need to see each other. And you need to lighten-up.” says Marilyn.

“I’m not sure where this is coming from…but I’m not…going to allow this kind of…harassment to continue.” says JFK.

Marilyn cries.

“No! Don’t talk to me like that!” says Marilyn.

“Well fuck you, Marilyn! Fuck you!” says JFK.

“Jack…this isn’t right!” pleads Marilyn, feeling like she’s losing her mind.

“Marilyn. Calm down. You’re so dramatic!” says JFK.

“Fine. I’m dramatic.” says Marilyn, trying to calm down in good humor.

“Yeah. You’re just a mean bitch!” snarls JFK.

“No. No, no I’m not.” says Marilyn, weeping hysterically on the inside in profound turmoil.

“I’m not commenting on that.” smirks JFK.

Marilyn whimpers.

“I’m just unhappy.” says Marilyn.

“You know… You know what?! …I’m not your boyfriend! …I’m not your mother! …And if you keep making my life difficult I’ll have to make your life difficult! …You aren’t any fun anymore. …No. You get drunk and have fun. Fine. I like to party too. But…I’m a grown man, Marilyn. And I have…a schedule.

My day is…so…busy. So while you’re laying around whining…I’m doing something that’s actually important. I’m sorry, you’re not a man. I’m sorry you were born a woman. Bother God with it. But don’t keep bothering me. I’m too damn busy, you whore!” said Jack in a sassy voice. He slammed the receiver. Scowled. Rolled his eyes. Shook his head and was annoyed.

That’s the supposedly “hot” heterosexual relationship between Marilyn and Jack Kennedy.

“Was Jack Kennedy capable of a hot heterosexual relationship?” asks a reader.

“No. Yes. It depends on the person. Same with men. He was very dysfunctional.” says Red Fay. “There was no hot relationship with Lem. But he had one with me. And Judith Exner.”

“What about Jackie?” asks Lacey.

“No…and yes?” says Red. “They had a lot of tenderness.”