Iran Is Confused

“Heart To Heart” by Mac DeMarco plays.

“You used heroin?” Iran asks Lacey Banks Billings (Spencer?).

“If there’s reincarnation. Otherwise no.” says Lacey Banks Billings.

“What happened!?” asks Iran.

The Line by Mood Rings plays.

“I was a fool.” says Lacey Banks Billings to Iran.

“Where did it happen?” asks Lem.

“Well is there reincarnation or not!?” asks Lacey.

Iran smiles.

“We have lots of varying opinions.” says Iran.

“What should I consider?” asks Lacey.

Iran laughs. (Out of ties with America)

“She can’t talk about it. You’re being incredibly disrespectful!” yells Bertie.

“Fuck you Bertie! You’re a dumbass-bitch-hoe.” says Iran. (Out of ties to America)

“If I’m Alexei I’m starting to realize what my father went through by watching Lacey suffer…and let me tell you…I am not enjoying it.” says Tsar Putin.

“Yes! Can’t you understand!? You lose.” says the Tsarina.

“Why are you discussing Russian history? Why are you discussing-Why are you denying-Why? Why? …Why!??

I want you to explain it to me! I want you to explain it to me czarina!” says Tucker Carlson, mocking himself.

The czarina laughs as she crosses her eyes. Shakes her head. She feels as if she’s on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. She laughs at the silliness and stupidly of evil.

“If I win, would you prefer I call you your majesty in private? Just out of an exercise of caution. If I can manage to rescue the United States still would you prefer I call you your majesty?” Donald Trump asks Tsar Putin.

“Yes, yes I would. I would prefer that. Fuck, even if there isn’t reincarnation, I think for the sake of your sanity and everyone else’s it might be a reasonable thing to do.” says Tsar Nicholas II. “At least, as it stands now.”

“ do you know are you started talking about reincarnation quite a few times in the last few days why are you all so scared of talking about it because he perfectly honest with you he looks a hell of a lot like both of them I mean it’s frightening there’s a uncanny resemblance between Putin, and at this arena at eight I don’t think you people are sane, and I just have to say that as a reader, I am repulsed I am being to realize we’ve enabled you with our own delusions of Grandor and it’s sad that we did that to all of you. I’m in the United States and other parts of the world that we were connected to and possibly even controlling more than we realized like Australia no I’m sorry I’m Casi‘s mother and Lacey‘s going to edit this paragraph and I’m gonna say where the fuck I want, Australia is owned by the US somehow culturally I’m just gonna say it if you don’t get it we own Australia Casi so Dimitri and his wife are American they’re Australian but they’re really just American and they hated Lacey because of that they’re not really British and Greek like they pretend to be she is sort of like a gypsy socioeconomically and his some American acid. He’s very much an acid she is bless her heart sort of like a gypsy the way she parades around with her boobs and her I mean, her sultry look all the time and her face sweetie their faces, Dimitri and his wife look drastically different in real life than they look on Instagram to the point where Lacey can’t bear to even show their photo it’s so hideous they different. That’s what you should’ve been going after not giving a Normas respect to. They deserve almost no respect in the perfume community. He’s a fraud. He knows very little about Perfume. He knows some but not as much as Lacey knows and you probably might not as much if not more than he does but he pretends to be an expert for ego reasons. He likes to feel very important and his wife does too and they have a little posse of jack ass imposters all over the world and they do what they probably go to some perfume meeting and say a bunch of esoteric random scientific meeting this bullshit that Luka turn wrote a whole fucking book about and it really fucked up the whole world in relation to Lacey.

And they had no respect for her the way that she deserved. They had some respect for her, but they had more respect for you than they had for her as a human. They copied her. They impersonated her, and it destroyed the Perfume community to some degree because you can’t impersonate a Rockefeller you can’t impersonate a Nesheim you can’t impersonate people like her Casi and you did you did I know you did, and it was despicable is not sad

No, you should’ve whoop. Their ass not hurt us but I don’t think you knew how

I know you knew you knew you knew there was something rotten in that perfume community and you were going to deal with it because it bothered you, but it wasn’t Lacey that was a bunch of lies. That was a bunch of bullshit. It was people like him unfortunately sweetie I’m calling you sweetie because Lacey feels like you’re getting a bit of an ass whooping that you don’t deserve, they they really they really are that they really were the problem Casi not Lacey and not you in that way. I’m sorry sweetie you’ll have to deal with it.

Yeah, mind blown.

I don’t ever apologize to her and she doesn’t expect them to she look if there’s purgatory and they’re most likely a sweetie I’m gonna keep calling you that you’ll probably end up apologizing to her. If you don’t go to hell Casi, you’ll probably end up apologizing to Lacey, which will be nice for both of you believe it or not Because Lacey makes scallop potatoes in sterling silver bowls do you get it?

Sweetie, she’s a an upper class old money rich housewife from the 1950s housewife from the 1950s Casi she’s not a real housewife from today and so she still makes that’s popular because it’s healthy it’s not you know stove top from a box it’s real scallop potatoes, and then she puts them in a sterling, silver bolt bolt so that’s not weird. Chris Hayes doesn’t get it because he’s nuts in someway and disrespectful and disgusting and Australia didn’t get it because they’re peasants essentially sweetie and they don’t know they just didn’t know and I’m saying that’s not Lacey there peasants Casi they don’t know the food that we eat. They don’t understand what’s going on the way that you and I do.

Which kind of makes you think we should start making her post recipes just so that you and I can figure out what the hell is going on? I don’t think they get it. She could be talking to India today about heroin and maybe she will later maybe that’s appropriate for a conversation with India at some point tonight It’s not heroin use the way that I would use it or that you would use it. It’s Lacey banks it’s not it’s not what you think it is sweetie it’s really not.

So you made a joke once you said we could just use opiates together and they were still legal they were free and it was legal that did not go over well with her because if she’s reincarnated, she actually used heroin with a needle in somewhere and that’s the problem Casi she can’t talk about that respectfully to God Her twin flame, Lem’s was a heroin addict in the way that you and I would at least sort of began to understand it but it was still different but her hair when your sweetie was very different than ours if we’ve ever used it because it was her opiate use was very different Casi than ours. Ours is degenerate to some degree sweetie and sad and she feels incredibly sorry for us and yet there’s a similarities because it’s the same drug and we’re not that dramatically different but it is quite different are you? Are you so smart to Jana at Casi than hers we’re being I would say it’s close to gluttony know you and I are close it’s it’s more like gluttony are our heroin use is like lightning Casi Hart, her use with something totally different.” says Casi Hart’s mom.

“ was she like insane?” asks Casi.

“ you’re on the right track know you’re on the right track. You’re on the right path. It wasn’t insanity it was it wasn’t insanity that she did it. She didn’t do it because she was insane but it produced insanity in her.” says Casi Hart’s mom.

“ so she lost her mind for a week and it was a horrific experience?” says Casi.

“ basically yes, no it was. It was him. It was the same drug and we’re not that dramatically different but now that she’s she’s not as degenerate as we are, and yet you insinuated insisted that she was and who enabled you to do that the Kennedys because they can’t understand you and I can’t because we’re southern and we know ladies slightly they don’t understand they just don’t understand, where is so much degenerate she’s not oh no she’s not in that way if she has at all and she’s just not in that way and so her perfume yours was maybe a little different than ours but we’re we’re a little degenerate at times Casi I love you, but you know that I hope it or a little little off and it’s that’s not what’s going on with her with Lacey that’s not what happen when she use heroin she lost her bloody mite for about a whole week. It was just like what the fuck is this yeah, it was like that episode of Charlie’s Angels, where that woman loses her mind it was miserable for her having given birth and been getting given fentanyl I don’t think it would be quite a scare anymore, but she doesn’t want to use it, but it wasn’t enjoyable for her. It was scary at least in retrospect what should really give us pauses to wife if we use too much a certain things that color paint it’s so damn enjoyable for us. It’s probably not as enjoyable in reality sweetie as we think it is if that makes any sense.

There isn’t anyone alive right now who is really genuinely elite who’s like us. There are some people who are elite like Lacey who are like Lacey, but Casi there’s nobody alive for the most part who is like us who is elite anymore. Lacey and Linn are very different people and all that to say when you and I use opiates it’s totally different than how they used it so we might not be totally degenerate. We might also be experiencing something very different in our brain than what they experience at times. Which is sad because what are we looking for you know and that’s where you know maybe it’s not just gluttony and being degenerate maybe there’s something little sad about us or something and then that’s for drug counselors can never fucking figure people like us out because they think they are to let people like that. Maybe if we just keep them on the right path they’ll go back to Jesus and get off the opiates. And that’s just not necessarily the full picture we might be somewhat degenerate and then they get confused by that. And so much gladness and they get confused by that too in another way. But they’re probably there there probably were some people in the south before maybe the 1940s who were like us and then Hollywood just obliterated those people.

So it’s very hard to reason with us and get us off the drugs if we’re on them because we think differently than Lacey and lab works on them doesn’t work on us. Have you ever sweetie have you ever watch the film Butterfield eight or a cat on a hot tin roof those films are about our ass that we give to men. And they don’t respect that ass no more they haven’t respected that hot ass for almost 100 years at this point.

Torston does. Dr. Moritz does Dr. Maurice likes that hot ass? I think he wishes he could find it. Nope he’s German though Casi he’s actually from Germany and he doesn’t realize that anymore. I don’t think he gets it. He thinks I’m Swedish Jewish black. And so he has no clue what he’s looking for when he dated Lacey and boy that did not go fucking well at all that lasted for almost a month. Sorry for swearing that did not go well at all because he had no idea what he was doing. No clue he he thought that that it was us, and that if he just said the magic words should open up her heart and they’d be happy

But she’s not us I don’t know why she thought she would be unless if there were people in the south in the 1800s that he’s read about who don’t exist anymore almost at all with you and I exist but we’re not elite and so he doesn’t know that I think he’s culturally unaware in that way, and he thought I found my little hot juicy chicken wing you know and that’s what we are watch Butterfield eight sweetie watch cat on a hot tin roof that’s who that’s who we are and Lacey is offended for us because her husband Lem’s is straight and her husband llama straight he ain’t no football star Jack was Jack was the closeted bisexual football star, and by Tennessee. Williams knew that ass when he saw it no Tennessee Williams who wrote cat on a hot tin roof had a fucking crush on Jack. I bet they fucked I mean oh they’ve got outside quite a few times that those two are probably lovers if there is really if if there’s homosexuality at all, I would be shocked if Jack in Tennessee Williams didn’t hook up quite a few times while they are both live live

Oh, and that’s not craziness that’s total sanity but that’s that’s not let him see this is why he will get all offended. Paul Newman was short, Jackson Jackson, big mad some people might think he’s ugly like Hoss from bonanza lab looks like Hoss from bonanza. Oh, and Lacey thinks that’s quite nice. Thank you very much. I’d like to keep that to myself. And she doesn’t just like big men but he’s he’s a very big man he’s 6 foot four. He’s broad shouldered he’s big and he got a little fat probably from her cooking and his imagination but that’s the thing he’s a different is a total fucking different person. Sorry again for swearing that pisses me off. He’s a totally different person.

No, he was this big, burly guy even play football get asthma and they wore glasses. He was handsome but no that’s right up Lacey’s alley that’s her thing.

Oh, but Paul Newman would’ve wanted to fuck you and I.

And so would Jack.

And I’m not trying to be incestuous or perverted sweetie. I’m just telling you were their type. Sorry to say it so crassly you and I are their type.

You think you’re your Lacey sweetie and you’re not that’s possibly insane.

Oh, if you don’t want me as your mother someday that’s fine but I am your mother not Rita Banks.

Yeah, I have to stop pretending like you can’t handle that you can handle it. That’s part of why the whole perfume committee fell apart. We’re not that we’re not that highfalutin now we could be but we’re very different people than them Casi and they’re not lesser than us in anyway and right now they’re better than us And you’ve got to just accept that.

The thing is though sweetie Paul Newman was very handsome and he’s not Jack Kennedy. That’s a that’s a disgusting flattery of Jack Kennedy, possibly but Tennessee Williams was in love with Jack. He was in love with that character and he thought oh I understand him.

And he didn’t he didn’t at the same time.

And that’s what they don’t understand Lacey in Australia and everywhere else. Practically the whole fucking world at this point. I’m sorry I’m pissed off. I’m sorry I’m swearing but I’m really angry when I’m writing this.

I am I understand Tennessee Williams character better than he does possibly I mean good grief I mean what the hell he wrote that and then they turned it into some shit show where his wife fucks him but no one figures that out and what the hell was that? you were with Misty for quite a fucking while she you know she was the love of your life you were so fucking happy with her and you were a lesbian, and it was all over. It was just the way it was and everything was just that out that was just the way and y’all just had to understand you, and ain’t no one gonna tell you otherwise it’s Misty do or die.

Oh, and then look you turn right around, dated a guy and married one and I’m not trying to get into your bedroom but I have a feeling you fuck him an affair, my daughter and I know you you are just sitting there is your fucking and playing checkers.

No, you’re screwing the shit out of him and he screwed the shit out of you and I say that hopefully in an earnest attempt to be honest but they don’t understand that anymore sweetie they don’t get that they don’t get a human mind in that way anymore and they may have sort of struggled with it in the US starting in the 1960s. I mean psychology is not that terribly off hopefully but they don’t quite get the complexity of certain things that Lacey does Scott Lacey sees the new once she sees the complexity. I have a feeling a lot of the world still does but the US struggles.

Oh, so they get that Michael could be bisexual which is astounding to some people, but they don’t get that you could be or that the character in a cat on a hot tin roof could be bisexual. They don’t understand that concept so they think he’s gay and no, he wasn’t gay.

Yeah, they’re living in sex in the city in 1999 with that is the rule of law and that’s the gospel truth and knowing better damn question otherwise

Which is why if Bobby is a little fucked up in his head and doesn’t understand bisexuality or that loan was really just straight he thought that if he put Sarah Jessica Parker through the fucking ringer through the whole series into hell and fucked over Candace versus Buchnell it wouldn’t matter because of the end of the day you know Satan would rescue the whole thing up through his Jesus power.

Yes, they’re still intimidated by our family in the south Casi we are the seas to some degree we are we are Zelda we RC this year as you and I and a lot of other white southern people like the Bertas are still the south even if we’re not as elite as we once were And that scares the shit out of Boston and the Kennedys state that they can’t fucking handle us because we’re too honest and white and they remember what we once were and how we could put them in their fucking place in a way that people live today can’t.

And see what your little friend Susan little Susan didn’t fucking realize sweetie is that you and Lacey bake pecan pies and chocolate chip cookies I don’t know if that woman really knows how to in the way that you do I’ve been you wouldn’t put that much effort in, but you know what it is that you’re aiming for Lacey makes it You know what it is and you might make short cuts I don’t think that woman even really knows what it is anymore. I’m sorry.

And we’re not gonna feel sorry for that. You are always trying to feel sorry for those people we can’t afford it. OK we’re not that elite Casi we can’t afford to be that nobody sublease that’s too damn much to expect of the CEOs in Zelda and ourselves you’ve got a learn to be a little more snobby not in a way that Lacey is but in a way where it’s like because we’re not like that but but it is in the same general vicinity but we’re just not as a leader she is, and we’re not her, maybe I’m not saying this right but it’s like and I think you kind of understood that but you needed to get it a little more and maybe be a little more genuinely snobby towards people in the community Napa imitating Lacey by being yourself.

No, not by imitating them not by imitating Lacey by being yourself.

And now Candace Bushnell is fucked over and HBO is lost sex in the city. I know the next series isn’t for a whole motherfucking year and let me tell you the next season skews me it’s gonna be worthless shit the show is going to go totally off the rails And it’s going to be just a total up absolute shit show Bobby I think things is going to be his little icing on the cake of his victory. Trump is probably just gonna have to look the other way. Well it stinks to high heaven or something like that. I and I guess if Biden wins well I’ll have something funny to talk about..

No seats I could write a whole book on how to be like Lacey and Casi but it’s hard to do because it will how it what would I label it was right with white people? She’s white and she’s Scotia. If there’s reincarnation and that’s the thing Scotia was Egyptian.

It is a bit different sweetie. It really is.

And some racist some Southerners can understand that about it Egypt. It was black, but not as black as they wanted to be. If she was Scotia it really wasn’t that black. It isn’t now either I mean just Dodi Al-Fayed look black he might look kind of Jewish but he’s it is a Gyptian You could you could say she’s like a Jew but then that’s problematic because they’re a Gyptian not Jewish and that’s where Ron really irritates me right now

I Ron, not Ron.

I ran. Yeah I see they’re not letting me say it.

No, but there they’re white as far as I’m concerned if there’s some if there’s anything to racism there the white people of the Middle East how about that?

And who are the white people of Asia? I think they’re all just Asian I don’t know if there’s a white people group in Asia yeah I went there. This isn’t Lacey and I might be a little racist look if Elizabeth Taylor could star as an Egyptian it doesn’t offend Lacey that much but that much if at all I’m pretty sure they’re white. Or she’s not Scotia, and reincarnation doesn’t exist at all.

Or those damn liberals are trying to make her black because they don’t like her power over them and they don’t like the fact that she was a Scottish aristocrat, but she was never a black woman, or an Asian woman and all of human history and her existence.

They’re ridiculous. They’re power-hungry little monsters, and they might not be in fairy, but if they are, they’re worthless shit compared to white people but if they’re not inferior then a then they’re really power-hungry little monsters it’s difficult dealing with them.

I know see Lacey if she’s Egyptian things will resolve it connected to Africa, but they don’t wanna hear that they want her to be Africa not be somewhat connected to them.

Anyway, getting back to your aesthetic, you and Lacey know chicken, you know cheese you know food in a very different way than those people do that’s interesting.

And you too both new perfume to perfume as a sensory experience I don’t know what the hell was with Zelda’s cooking and her burnt toast, but it was totally different. It was totally different that’s not how we’re supposed to be.

No, I am so tempted so I was lazy to just write a whole bunch of blog posts about food and culture and and a lot of other stuff like perfume, but I don’t know if we’re allowed to right now, but it just makes me angry too

Casi, she knows how to make a damn good sweet tea like actual sweet tea she knows sweet tea sweetie she’s got ice tea glasses that are $60 each that’s how seriously she takes her ice tea. No I mean she might’ve bought them for like 30 or $40 each on sale at Bloomingdale’s a few years ago but she’s she has two of them so she could enjoy it with somebody. I don’t know who maybe her daughter someday when she gets older, but no, there is good sweet tea good sweet tea. No, she knows good southern food. Are you kidding me coconut cream pie, custard’s fried foods and probably some not fried foods to but she’s she understands food it’s not just all about that is it and she knows that I don’t know if you do or not anymore but you know I think you could, but she understands all that food. She understands what not to eat to though Crap now I’m so tempted to turn this into a food block but the problem is the problem is I think you and I could handle hearing it because we can do that and we can fend for ourselves so to speak other people reading this blog might not quite understand and they might get a little a little narcissistically offended why couldn’t you just let yourself be superior even if I said something shitty to you or someone else did why couldn’t you just let yourself be a little superior with her and take it more damn seriously.

Superior as a woman Casi not as a warrior?.

I am I had to fix that last line because it was just total bullshit the way it was written.

Or something close to it.

Hey, so how about if you to have a real discussion yeah, leave out the Italians leave out every other fucking group of people who aren’t in America I have a feeling if you wrote that post a lot of shit we go down in a good way.” says Casi’s mom. “ so we’re going to do that and she’s going to edit this tonight while she talks about reincarnation with people in a way that’s respectful to her.”