Abbie Rocks Jesus’s Ass

“My God! You make me look like a saint.” says Tom Ford to Abbie Gamboa.

pure by Abbie Gamboa & The UPPERROOM plays.

Abbie stands in a dark room wearing a silk Victoria’s Secret nightgown saying, “It’s all about you!” to God. “No catches. Let my worship be pure!”

too good plays as she reaches for a landline telephone in her silk nightgown. She plays with the cord with her fingertips.

“Hey! You’re too good to be true! You’re just too good!” she says in a breathy voice to Jesus.

want plays.

“Dammit. You know me too well.” says Abbie to Jesus. “You’re so…good. Wow!”

She weeps on the phone to Jesus.

“I WANT ALL OF YOU!!” she says to Jesus, desperately. “What would we do?”

She listens.

“Ahh…just sit here in the silence?” says Abbie.

She listens.

“I will always love you.” she says as Whitney Houston plays.

The song by Whitney Houston plays.

“I’m just sitting here waiting for you. Listening to Whitney Houston. Come over! Come over baby!” says Abbie.

window for glory to slide in plays.

She masturbates to thoughts of Jesus. Imagining Him literally fucking Himself in her? Or Him fucking her!? No. Fucking her.

“You are so far gone. And you have given in? Abbie. This ain’t good.” says Lacey Banks Billings in her spirit to Abbie Gamboa via telepathy.

“It’s not like that!” says Abbie.

“You call him your lover.” says Lacey.

“Metaphorically.” says Abbie.

“Abbie. What’s the point of taking a metaphor that far?” asks Lacey.

“I’m a pervert. Okay?” she says by accident telepathically to the entire Illuminati.

“Abbie…what is the exact perversion?” asks Eugene Levy.

“I’m a pedophile. And I’m into incest.” says Abbie Gamboa.

“Okay. Yeah. That’s probably perverse. But…why a god!?!” asks The Pseudo Intellectual Father on behalf of himself and India.

“I’m an agnostic. Mostly.” says Abbie.

“So…why!?” asks a 1990’s celebrity.

“I want the money.” says Abbie. “And…I’m perverted.”

“So you’re also sociopathic or a malignant narcissist?” asks the CIA.

“Maybe? I mean…I don’t think it harms people that much.” says Abbie.

“Abbie…it’s heretical.” says the Pope.

“Yeah.” she says, laughing. “I’m so damn cool!”

“Abbie…are you sure that there’s no God?” asks the Pope.

“No. But why would he be mad at me!?” asks Abbie Gamboa.

“Because you’re committing heresy.” says the Pope.

“Does he care about that kind of pedantic thing?” asks Abbie. “I mean…it’s all so…meaningless.”

no life apart by Abbie Gamboa plays as the perfect background music for young children being held hostage being molested right now. And the heart intent of actual Christians who she uses to gain money and power is shed into the room and the children are liberated in their minds. And so…the goodness of God is never wasted. But does Abbie herself have any goodness from God at all?

“Abbie…who are you singing to?” asks Eugene Levy.

“God. I really do think he’d like me. In that way.” says Abbie. “It’s…just…he’s god. Why wouldn’t he?”