“Lem” by Arnold van Rhijn

Lacey is our relative. That’s right. Thomas Banks was Dutch old money from New Amsterdam. How many times has she said that? …We’re related.

*he rolls his eyes*

Why am I annoyed by Lem? Because he never seems to get it.

Lacey was involved with men other than Lem simply because it made sense. That’s all.

It’s no mystery.

Lem why do you persist in being hurt? It’s heartbreaking to Lacey.

Girl Of The Year by Beach House plays.

“It’s…just hurtful to think of her with another man.” says Lem.

But that’s too much to ask of her. She can’t undo it.

“I knew you were Dutch!!” says Julie to Lacey.

“Yes! When I was 20!” says Lacey.

“Yeah. You look like us. We’re a little Dutch.” says Julie.

“Yes!” says Lacey.

“We’re not like your family. But neither is Ethel. …But we are Dutch.” says Julie.

“Yes! It’s a genetic thing.” says Lacey.

“Yeah. We think alike.” says Julie to Lacey.

“Dutch people don’t think alike. Don’t be weird!” says Bobby Kennedy Junior. “You guys are so pretentious.”

“No. We do all vaguely think alike.” says Louis Hill Junior.

“Yeah. It’s true!” says Julie.

“You guys do not understand me. And I’m not a loser!” says Bobby Kennedy Junior.

“The Dutch don’t understand you?” asks The Netherlands of Bobby.

“No. Losers!” says Bobby.

“Bobby…you feel like a total dumbass for thinking Lem was in love with you?” asks The Netherlands. “Don’t you?”

He smirks.

“You really were only 18 or so.” says Louis Hill Junior to Bobby.

After a bit of thought, “See…that’s hard for me to understand.”

“It’s hard for you to understand that you were a kid ever?” asks Louis Hill Junior.

“I’m…often…baffled.” says Bobby Kennedy Junior.

“Why?” asks Louis Hill Junior.

“I’m so…bizarrely sophisticated and brilliant and aware and brace and strong and…powerful. It’s difficult for me to believe I was ever a child.” says Bobby Kennedy Junior.

“Some people are like that. …But Bobby…you’re not one of them.” says Louis Hill Junior.

“No. But…I grew-up…so fast.” says Bobby.

“Bobby. There are people like that. But you’re not one of them either.” says Louis Hill Junior.

“Then am I still a child?” asks Bobby. “I don’t see any difference. …I mean I do. But in a way…I don’t.”

“Yeah. Maybe that’s true.” says Mary Richardson from the grave.

“Huh. Yeah. Maybe I’m bizarrely immature.” says Bobby Kennedy Junior. “But…it makes me more honest about some things. Because…I’m still trying to be…just like my dad.”

“Yeah. You’re still just imitating him. Because you’re psychologically developmentally delayed.” says Mary Richardson.

Awkward silence.

Bow Down by Westside Connection plays by request by Arnold van Rhijn because he loves it…even though it’s slightly self-mocking on his part. Well…maybe not completely.

“We aren’t this cool. Or are we?” asks Mrs. van Rhijn.

“No. Y’all didn’t necessarily have that dramatically different of an American experience to us.” says a black big time gangster.

“Yeah. In a way.” says Mrs. van Rhijn.

“So we’re both baffled by certain aspects of white American culture. In a similar way at times.” says Louis Hill Junior.

“Yes!” says the big time black gangster.

Bitch Please II by Eminem plays.

“Lem. Shake ya ass!” says a van Rhijn, crying. “Isn’t that your vibe, hoe?”

The song plays.

The song ends.

Concerto For Piano, Violin, Cello and Orchestra in C Major (“Triple Concerto”) by Ludwig van Beethoven plays.

“That’s it!!” says Lem. “I’m pulling a Constantine!” he yells at Lacey.

Arthur Rubinstein shrugs, eating a mango popsicle. (They’re quite good) “You can’t possibly expect her to just blindly follow you. That’s disgusting.”

The song ends.

Gnossiennes (6), For Piano by Erik Satie plays.

“You FORCED HER to HATE you.” says J. Edgar Hoover to Lem. “And even if JFK made you do it…you still did it.”