Questions For Red

“Red who are Lacey and Lem? You told us they were molested. But who are they?” asks a gay man.

“Who are they?” says Red. “Okay.

Lacey: a rare beauty who’s possibly the daughter of Tom Banks. She was raised in a Norwegian-American family of some prestige and aristocratic status. Her parents in that family are Jim and Becca.

Lem: a handsome well-bred man who was molested and became scientifically confused and believed he was gay. Yes, scientifically. He wasn’t gay. He merely thought he was. He is tall, kind, smart, sophisticated and deep.” says Red.

“So Lem thought he was gay?” says Bobby.

“Yes. He thought he was.” says Red.

“Can you merely think you are?” asks Bobby.

“Yes. You know that’s theoretically possible.” says Red.

“No. I mean…it is. But…” says Bobby.

“But what?” asks Red.

“He’s so bizarrely different than me.” says Bobby.

“Bobby…you were never his son!” yells Ireland.

“But he was so nice.” says Bobby.

“Yeah. So are the English in England.” says Princess Kate.

“What the fuck happened?” asks Bobby.

“Bobby…you were there. Not us.” says Ireland.

Solomon by Hans Zimmer plays.

“I wasn’t there. I mean I was there. But as a young person.” says Bobby.

“You were a juvenile delinquent.” says Ethel in the afterlife.

“But I was still a juvenile.” says Bobby.

“Yeah. I have a feeling Lacey tried to tell you.” says Ireland.

“Then how- My family always let me believe I was like his son. And I took it to heart.” says Bobby.

“Yeah. If that’s true…Lacey knows that.” says Ireland. “And she sometimes thinks you deserve the guillotine…but she doesn’t want to hurt that part of your soul.”

And at that Bobby reacts badly and becomes narcissistically enraged.

“Why does that always happen with narcissists? It’s like their brain is broken.” says Lacey.

“It’s sometimes also evil. And that becomes clearer when they die. Which parts are dysfunctional and which parts are evil.” says JFK’s residual energy based on experience and observation.

“Red…who are you?” ask gay men.

Ghosts by Thomas Newman plays.

“I’m…from a middle class background. We might have had some old money in our distant past. So to speak. Umm…so…there might be some prestige somewhere in my lineage. But…I feel like I was middle class.

I’m actually a good bit like Marty Crane on Fraiser. Dry. Witty. Good-natured usually…but I can be trouble.

I’m insightful. And there’s a reason Jack called me Grand Old Lovable. I’m…a warm person. Or I can be.” says Red.

“So you’re like Marty Crane. But you’re seemingly bisexual or were.” says a gay man.

“That’s correct.” says Red Fay.

“What was your relationship like with Jackie?” asks a gay man.

“She was scared of me. …Lacey is too slightly but with Lacey it’s…a choice.

Look…most women aren’t Scotia if there’s reincarnation in the Bible. But Lacey is. So…she can choose to honor her place as a woman…or be a warrior and still be a woman. And when she’s honoring her place she’s a little scared of me. And when she’s thinking like a warrior she’s…unsure of what to make of me but she’s not scared anymore.

Jackie isn’t and wasn’t like that. She’s…not Scotia. Or Marie Antoinette.

She’s…Jackie. And so…she…cowers. And when she’s loved her husband tends to keep her from men like me…because I’m overwhelming to her. She can’t process what I’m feeling and thinking.

I’m a complicated, deep man. I’m manly. But I was also bisexual. And…I had rules about it all. Things I would and wouldn’t let myself do.” says Red.

“So Lacey transforms into a warrior?” asks a lesbian, smiling.

“Yes! She’s like Bloody Mary. She’s terrifying.” says Red.

Jack Kennedy nods and smiles.

“Okay. But she’s still a straight, cis woman?” asks a lesbian.

“Yes. And extremely feminine.” says Red.

“It’s not an American aesthetic. It’s not a an aesthetic Americans are aware of.” says a Frenchman.

“And Lem is Constantine?!?” asks the lesbian.

“Yes. He’s literally Emperor Constantine if there’s reincarnation in the Bible.” says Paul Fay Jr..

“So he’s ultimately more fierce than she is.” says a gay man.

“He’s…very complicated. But yes. He’s a sweet, gentle man. So he was…extremely restrained. But…underneath it all…he’s terrifying. And Lacey…has no choice but to be with him for eternity. And she…needs that. She can’t be with someone who’s not like Tsar Putin. If she’s Scotia she’s…terrifying. But like Lem is extremely subtle.” says Red Fay.

“So Jack brought home a bear. Like a wild bear?” asks Ted Danson.

“Yeah. More like a giant killer snake. Because some bears can be…somewhat decent pets. Lem and Lacey aren’t pets.” says Red Fay.

A wealthy father of today laughs.

“Yeah. So…I think that’s where the Kennedys are a lot funnier and more endearing being honest about their new money. Because…it’s such a common mistake. You get all this money…and it’s thrilling and it feels like you could conquer the world. …But…it’s not that easy. And…what is easy is to make huge mistakes.

Buy too much. Buy the wrong things. Spend too much. …Stuff like that.” says Red Fay.

“Were you jealous of Lem?” asks a gay man.

“No.

Umm…

Shit.

…I felt superior to Lem. He was threatening to my ego. …But it wasn’t necessarily because I thought Jack liked or loved him more. It was mostly just who he was. Lem…was intimidating. But…he was also so dopey. So…weak. …If he’d been having sex with Lacey and not been so damn confused he’d have been…far scarier. But also more relatable. And…I would have understood him more. As a man and as a human. He wouldn’t have seemed dopey. But he was…so…soggy. And we used that to bully him. Me and some of Jack’s other friends. We bullied Lem.

But…Lem…was…stupid to bully. Not that it’s ever smart to bully anyone.

We…should…probably end soon.” says Red.

“So…you were a clique?” asks a gay man.

“Yes! Jackie was our honorary guy.

Jack really did love her. It’s sad.

Umm…so she was allowed privileges. More than most of us. Including Lem. Bobby and maybe one or two other guys were given such privileges. Sometimes I was. Jack dolled out favors and we all ached to be recognized by him. But…at times he’d go too far.

Lacey wouldn’t have respected him almost at all. Instantly. *he laughs* She’d have controlled him. But he wouldn’t have seen it or he’d have rebelled against it.

But her control is…not something you know about. She’s…different. And it’s all very honorable and she’s probably trying to be Christian…but…Scott…resembles her vaguely. Scott Fitzgerald. But…she’s…not him.

Anyway…I’m trying to be relatable. Sorry.

Let see.

Yeah. We had a clique.” says Red.

“So Lem was awkward.” says a reader.

“Yeah. It’s ugly to think about now. But at the time…we just…ignored it, I guess? We didn’t know what was going on. So we went with it, so to speak. And it was communicated to us that he was gay. Not a trapped straight person. *Red laughs* So yeah. He was super weird and awkward.” says Red.

“Did you feel sorry for him?” asks a reader.

“No!!” says Red smiling. “It’s like this: I was his competitor. Okay? If I was bisexual he was my competition. …So…I felt…no pity.” He thinks. “If I’d realized what was going on…I might have felt creeped out by it. But…I’m not sure what I would have done.”

“Are we creeped out by homosexuality because of men like Lem?” asks Larry David.

“Either homosexuality is inherently bad. And we’re creeped out for that reason. Or yes. Of course. Because it’s so gross…and so destructive.” says Red Fay.

“Why?” asks a lesbian.

“Because homosexuals take it very seriously. Or have. They’re extremely serious about it. So…it’s…like quicksand. And…that’s where Lacey is different than Lem.

Lem…is Emperor Constantine if there’s reincarnation. So…admirably but humanly…he’s always trying to bring harmony and consensus to some degree. He’s…very…good at leading.

But…Lacey is Scotia if there’s reincarnation. So she’s less worried about consensus. So was Bloody Mary. They’re not unaware of the power of consensus. But…they’re…diehards…and…unilateral leaders. They’re not unwilling to come to the table but they don’t ‘play nice’ in that way. North Korea…might actually get along well with Lacey. They aren’t…as set on being ‘popular’ either.

Lacey…is straight. And unlike Lem…she has no qualms about breaking a woman’s neck who’s trying to rape her, so to speak. She doesn’t go around breaking people’s necks…but she’s…not as concerned with…trying to salvage a human connection with her rapist. Lem…seems to have not realized that that wasn’t necessarily possible in such a dire situation. So…he got trapped and then gave heroin to kids. Whereas Lacey…would have been conniving and tried to outmaneuver Jack. Right away. Even if she thought she was gay. Just on instinct.” says Red.

“So example!” says a gay man.

“So…Lem didn’t want to take those photos in the snow at Choate of his ass. But he agreed to to be nice and kind and to try to get along with Jack. He was actually being bullied in those photos. But he was…trying to placate Jack in hopes that Jack would be nicer and back off if he gave him some of what he wanted. And of course he was then manipulated by Jack into believing they were friends and that he was happy being in a toxic relationship with him based on being brainwashed. No…Lem wasn’t actually Jack’s rock. He was…his chew toy maybe? Or his doormat. Or his…slave? We called Lem his slave. This idea that Lem was his rock is…intriguing. But it’s not what we said or what happened. He was…too emotionally distant from Jack to be his rock and…Jack might have occasionally seen him that way…but…Jack was a delusional narcissist. Jack believed he was…whatever he wanted to perceive himself as being and he imagined feelings in other people that didn’t exist sometimes that made him feel good about himself and reality. He was out of touch with reality in that way.

Lacey…wouldn’t have taken those photos. She would have claimed that there was a curse that would make Jack impotent and infertile if she took the photos. And it would have felt eerily believable. And it would have made Jack sincerely wonder. And then she wound have beaten Jack to a bloody pulp. And told him that if he didn’t back off he’d die and she was merely looking out for him. Even if she thought she was gay.

Why? Because Lacey…is just different. Rome wasn’t Egypt, literally or symbolically speaking.” says Red.

“Would Jack have died?” asks a gay man.

“No. But for entirely different reasons.

Jack…is like his father. Okay? And Lacey was Joe’s soulmate. Not twin flame. And so…Jack would have fallen deeply in love with her as Lem in a different way. Even as they didn’t date. And he would have decided that he wanted to live. Because something about her fierce determination to stay pure in the eyes of God in regard to self-respect…would have moved him. And he’d have identified with it profoundly. And he’d have become more militant and…Catholic. Probably married Inga. And actually been happier. Because Inga understood him and he loved her too.

No. Him and Lem were a very toxic combination.” says Red.

“Did stuff like this happen at every societal level?” asks a Native American woman. “Presuming we’re under the correct impression, of course.”

“Can you imagine? Lacey has a first rate intelligence indeed. But…she’s not in submissive to Lem. And her heart is invested.

Umm…yes! We became very toxic in the 20th century.” says Red Fay.

“How did you not realize it!?” asks a Native American woman.

“Because…everything was going so well. It really was. There was little reason to believe we were making such serious mistakes.” says Red Fay. “You know? It’s the cheery backdrop we still have in 2024 to some degree.”

“What the fuck!? Lem was straight!??” says a gay man.

“Yeah.” says Red Fay.