To Reiterate Again

“I did not make love with or to Jack ever. If her made love to me I hated it.

No, we did not make love. Not when we returned home from war. Not when he won the US Presidency nor when he won his seat in the US Senate. Not ever.

And yet, this is not essential to Lacey. It’s really not.

Louis made love to his wives. Elliott did the same. Harold did too. Mike even made love. Lacey herself has made love in the past to her legal husband. People make love and move on from it, sadly. Because sometimes things don’t work out. Right? And then you hope that the next time you make love it’ll be for real, so to speak. That’s life in a fallen world. Lacey fully knows that.

No. …I told her I was straight. That’s why she cares. And then I chose to explain everything. Why? Because it was necessary. If I was straight not telling her that was…potentially problematic as to keep intimacy you have to be willing to be vulnerable.

Her attachment to the narrative that I was never in love with Jack and was straight is because that’s what I told her. She wants to believe me.

Also…she’d never stay with me if I was cheating. Nor would other men allow her to be with me. Heck, other men wouldn’t allow her to be with me if I was full of it in any way.

Why am I writing this? Because the so-called Illuminati keeps harassing her and so do some newly dead people and some Kennedys.

Things have improved though. I’m getting more of a hold of things.

Poor Lacey anyway. She’s my little lost kitten.

No. Stop making something real that wasn’t with Jack. He…was attracted to me. He was not straight, and he found men attractive and I’m a man. He and most of the men in his family find Lacey extremely attractive too. I think that family just finds me and Lacey attractive. It’d be funny if it wasn’t so gross. …But I wasn’t attracted to Jack at all and it shows in my body language with him in general and in my lack of sadness at his wedding in combination with my lack of confidence at his wedding. …I lacked confidence because I felt like a loser for not being married myself, but I wasn’t sad that he was getting married.

…I’m sorry. A lot of supposedly accurate ‘second-hand stories’ are common about me all over the internet but they’re all mostly based on mythology not fact. And even Wikipedia which leans liberal struggles to label me as gay…even though they almost do. But they can’t because it’s not historically substantiated fact. It’s a theory or an opinion. Not fact. And Red Fay’s quotation was butchered and possibly purposely misinterpreted from the start when he tried to call me bisexual or question if I was gay at all.

Lacey has the violently tragic reality of having to cope with it all. And she doesn’t deserve any of it. If anything the absolute opposite. It’s sick! …And some people know that and some people don’t. Some people still have a conscience and some people seem to lack one?

Listen…regardless…IT DOESN’T MATTER! SHE IS MINE! …And we’re going to work it out. Because that’s what I want. I want her.

I want her? Yes! And obviously that means that I’m not gay anymore…if I ever was. Right? Oh!!! Wait…that’s why you keep making her secretly gay, or a man or some dumb shit like that? Because you don’t want to believe I’m not gay anymore? I NEVER WAS GAY! I NEVER WAS GAY!!!

…So NO of course Lacey’s still a woman and always was. And I’m a man. And we’re together for eternity.”

Lem Billings (March 4th, 2024)