Perverse French People VI

American Boy by Estelle plays.

And at that in 2030 all of Ireland commits suicide. As in, the actual people in Ireland who live there and who’s ancestors always did. The Irish.

Within three weeks all of Ireland is dead. But all the women and children were dead anyway. As were all living animals.

And then all of Norway kills itself.

And Germany.

And China.

And Japan.

And then all of Asia.

(Adult content below)

Estelle’s “American Boy” plays as the living Kennedy biological men masturbate in 2030 because they’re literally unaware that most of the world is dying or is dead.

And at that…realizing that they’re talking to the ghost of Rashida Jones not the living Rashida Jones…all of MSNBC kills themselves. All of the men, that is. Because the women we all dead anyway.

All dead except for Chris Hayes, that is. He’s still alive.

“Hey!” he texts Bobby.

“Hey!” texts Bobby. “I just finished rubbing one out.”

“Cool. Wanna me to help?” asks Chris.

“Yeah!!!” texts Bobby.

“I’ll fly over.” says Chris.

He gets in one of the hundreds of abandoned jets laying around. He decides he can fly it himself. Because he doesn’t know how to find a pilot for himself.

American Boy by Estelle plays.

He flies better than Joe Kennedy Junior. It’s a crash landing in the ocean outside Cape Cod. But he manages to keep from totally destroying the plane. He breaks a window open and climbs out. Swims to shore. The plane starts to sink.

Chris swims to shore.

Soaking wet he walks up to the house on Cape Cod as the plane sinks into the ocean.

And reading texts about that…Hollywood finally starts killing itself off.

Pictures are hilarious.

Chris walks into the house on Cape Cod and makes puddles on the floor.

Bobby doesn’t notice.

Chris sits down next to him on the sofa.

“Hey!” says Bobby.

Chris looks around.

“Hey! The house looks nice.” says Chris.

“I just had it remodeled.” says Bobby.

“Really?” says Chris.

“Yeah.” says Bobby.

“Who!?” says Chris.

“Edward McDonald.” says Bobby.

Chris laughs. “Yeah. It’s just a joke.”

“Yeah. I’m just waiting for Lacey to realize that.” says Chris Hayes.

Just Loose It by Eminem plays.

And at that Eminem kills himself and thousands of other Christians. Because they all want to die. And he has the codes, so to speak.

And several trailer parks blow themselves up too.

“Oh well. You can’t win them all.” says Bobby Kennedy sincerely. Eating more pizza.

(Adult content below)

Five minutes later they kiss, make-out and then attempt to make love.

Die Young by Kesha plays.

They’re still going at it six months later.