“WE HAD FUN!” by Lem Billings

Louis Hill Junior drives up in his mint Mercedes. Black.

Why? Because he owned a new Mercedes? Maybe. And he only drove it to the country club? On rare occasions? Maybe.

Return of the Mack by Mark Morrison plays.

Louis’s second wife was a blond with blue eyes? Seemingly yes. She wasn’t actually that pretty. But she was…the ideal. The blond, blue-eyed, younger secretary. That’s what Louis’s second wife was.

He…a VERY lovable…loving…wonderful man. He’s a great man. Lacey and I love him. But…he had a tendency…to try to be cool. Seemingly. It’s in a very Minnesota way. It’s charming. …But…it’s still problematic in this situation. Why? Because he’s wrong. What’s popular has a reason for being popular but…in America the ideal in the 20th Century of the blue-eyed blond women…was…incorrect. Some women with brown eyes are objectively a lot hotter. And Lacey is one of them.

So…he was…attracted to Lacey. And he eventually made that clear. But…at first he wasn’t clear enough. And maybe he’s never been clear enough. Lacey’s not vain. At all.

He’s…insecure. He did have glasses. And maybe he wasn’t as tall as some men, like me. But he was certainly a catch. …And he didn’t have to be with any…of the women he was with. He was…like a prince! Truly!

Anyway…he…slept with Lacey far too casually. He knew they were soulmates. And he might have meant well. Genuinely. But he had no idea what he was doing…to himself.

No. I’m sorry. I’m not trying to tarnish my Lacey’s honor. But she’s…damn good in bed. It’s astounding. And…part of the reason why is because she’s genuinely good-hearted and sublimely sexy and beautiful. And intelligent. And rare.

So…when he first approached her he automatically was attracted and interested but…he was…way too chill. Like she was…kind of lesser beauty. Beautiful but not…special. He treated his second wife like she was special. And Louis is the kind of man who takes that kind of thing seriously for some reason. Some possibly non-narcissistic reason. It seems like he…has some not even necessarily racist reason. It’s…deeper than you might think, we wonder. And…it harkens back to a very different, old way of seeing the world. We’d love to hear more. But for now…let’s just say…Louis didn’t want to lie to Lacey. And…he assumed she was…not special.

“So if there’s reincarnation some black man with a possibly very good sense of humor thought it be really funny to prank white people by making Lacey‘s eyes brown guarantee you. Someone with a very morbid sense of humor who possibly was dead in Africa thought it would be hilarious for Lacey to be born with brown eyes. Almost guarantee you, if there’s reincarnation in the Bible.” says Cameron Diaz.

Anyway…Lacey has an amazing body. And Louis chose to be authentic and not look. And he was shocked when she was naked by how hot she was. Yes, Lacey also was a “Purity Culture” Christian and so she dresses out of habit based on their ideals.

“Lacey dresses against her natural beauty to try to dissuade people from fucking her?!?” says the Pseudo Intellectual Father.

“ yes, she does everything she where is this is without in mind her make up film everything it’s to create the opposite effect of everything that almost everyone else is trying to create other than fundamental Christians and possibly of Muslims living in the Middle East she could be wearing a Burka. She could be wearing long hair and dress, but that’s actually far more sexual than what she does but she’s doing is essentially the equivalent of wearing a parka. It’s gonna be actually more pure than that because the intent is to try to literally dissuade people so that they have to connect with her on this very deep level and it’s very pure hearted. It’s very idealistic it’s very romantic. It’s very beautiful and men are still fascinated by her because she’s so extraordinarily beautiful but in men in my generation pool, diet is easily, because women were all far more modest, and so her modesty is only modest in the millennial generation, and if you’re a man of my generation, Louis is part of my generation but not as much and you could be fooled so I can tell him you’re not fooled rather I can tell him I can tell that her bra doesn’t fit her correctly that her clothes don’t fit her correctly because she looks like us and I know what she looks like naked looked at women I was straight and so I think no no no I know what you look like or I have some vague idea and those clothes don’t fit you correctly and it doesn’t really affect me the way that it affected Louis because I know what she looks like and she’s not she can hide it in a millennial sense, but she wasn’t raised in the purity culture of our generation because our generation didn’t have purity culture so she wears red lipstick that’s flattering her because in her mind, she thinks what ha ha ha all those men are dead I’m not so handsome anyway why would you buy the hydra beauty from them yourself handsome anyway why would you care what they think it’s very pretty to wear red lipstick and red nail polish and this is not purity culture that’s innocence. We were very innocent, even adult women could be that isn’t in my generation and so and so then she wears red lipstick and it looks very very attractive and she is concerned about her posture in things that my generation was taught to be concerned about to be attractive to men him to track to meet so big combine with what I know she looks like and combined with her lack of purity culture brainwashing from my generation’s perspective know it hasn’t affected the men in my generation as much we’re far more aware of what she really looks like maybe we haven’t been the best to her but it’s possibly a bit different. Joe was very adamant about people staying away from her F Scott Fitzgerald was and I might’ve been too, but that’s different out of Scott Fitzgerald was a brilliant man, and he was able to see through it as well, but I know a lot of men have been very baffled by her, even from other older generations at times because they don’t know what they’re looking at the way that we do have the greatest generation. Why didn’t Joe tell her to wear more lipstick and do something different with her hair like Curlett get a perm wear it up just permit wear it up you know he could’ve told her that just get a perm and then wear it in just wear it up and it would’ve looked breathtakingly beautiful combine with lipstick that she was being vintage, but they also would’ve thought she was extraordinarily beautiful because she is but he didn’t tell her that because he was very possessive and controlling and abusive in his own way he threw her down the stairs. He really did. She literally fell down the stairs and has a neck injury and a head injury that she’s still recovering from because he threw her down the stairs, I’m not like that and I never would be him. I would probably just tell her I don’t want you wearing that in public and then I would explain why I wouldn’t lie to her and tell her that it doesn’t matter what she wears. It’s all the same or some stupid thing like that.” says Lem Billings.

Anyway, getting back to what I was saying yes we will edit this later later later anyway getting back to what I was saying no she didn’t know what she was doing and so she dresses very modestly. Still know what she wears isn’t ridiculous it’s Brooks Brothers sweaters Brooks Brothers is her favorite thing to wear and she likes other things, she looks good in jeans she’s aware of what she looks like a pair of jeans and she’s always picked out jeans or flattering him but that’s about it so flattering jeans someone flattering him and that’s it that’s all that she wears it’s flattering, which is enough for some people But it’s also not because the rest of it looks so humble and so meek and modest that if you don’t know what she looks like, naked you have no idea what you’re looking at her legal husband has literally said when you wear clothes you’re not that curvy when you are naked, you’re very curvy.

I am so no I am It’s. It’s a serving because there’s not a lot that we can say right now. It’s she still looks good. She’s aging so sort of depressing in that way but no, she still looks good from my number best days are behind or physically for how she looks and how she feels too, and it’s sad to know that being said that’s the aging process that’s death I’m a ghost so it’s at the end of the world if I’m real, right?

Him but the thing is, there’s not it’s it’s just bad right because I know she still has extraordinarily beautiful woman and I am at a Hwy well Louis didn’t know that we didn’t know that so when he slept with her, he was shocked about tracked if she was him And he lost track of that and started getting attached to her and getting used to her beauty and so when they be together it was like he thought I’m going to have this forever. This is always going to be around. I’m never gonna have to deal with the fact that my wife’s not that beautiful and it’s not easy to find someone this beautiful outside of heaven And heaven know who his second wife is gorgeous and have fun she’s perfect she’s her perfect it’s up in Christ but in a fallen world and even in purgatory if she’s in purgatory, she’s not quite that beautiful yet it’s different for different people simple the difference, different beauty there’s different ways of seeing things But for his wife, she could be a lot more. She could be a lot more beautiful and he would like that but that’s not where they are right now, so he got attached to Lacey‘s beauty. He got attached to her mind attached to her, but then he took it for granted because he never processed it and realize what he was doing so it was just like what the hell is this you know it’s like I don’t mean to be mean, but it’s like going from sleeping I threw in with like 30 for a press and no curves, hardly at all, when you like her of your women and then sleeping with someone when you die but still who is your ideal maybe I don’t know 34D or something I’m thinking what the hell this is what real big boobs look like how exciting and then thinking about this relationship will just work out. It’s fine I’m a good person, I mean well we’re soulmates. It’s all fine and then over time realizing that if you screw up too much, you’re toast, no matter how good of a person you are no matter how good you’re a hard and tenders if you’re really being evil and you’re dead, and God is allowing that thing to happen which could be what’s happening it’s like patience is low, there’s not a lot of wiggle room right now so he can’t just sleep with her and then expects us to go on and on and on for like 10 years or 20 years or something you know or 10 years like it’s not gonna happen that way because he’s dead and she’s not really supposed to be with ghost anyway.

So so it’s just kind of a mess for him because he is still in love with her but he screwed up potentially and slept with Grace Kelly the Grace Kelly. Yeah I know it’s irritating. It makes you want to hate him, but I have to think that he’s lovable and his arm, I think he got a real confidence boost sleeping with Lacey and he started thinking I could probably sleep with someone just as beautiful as her. I had all that money and he got totally carried away and he couldn’t. He was probably anticipating that she still found other people attractive in it maybe even hurt his feelings a little bit I don’t know what his reasons were, but that’s just a guess, and so he thought we’re fine I’m dead I’m not gonna settle for something less than less than what I deserve. I haven’t heard enough. I’m just gonna go for it and sleep with Grace Kelly him, and that was evil heart of navy slightly because he didn’t take her feelings into consideration off and realize that, even if she found other men attractive still that it could still be something meaningful so he ended up sleeping with Grace Kelly probably got a huge confidence boost and he just thought I could I could do this I could I could make this happen with Grace Kelly and he did it they slept together, and then he also slept with his last with his second wife And just wouldn’t shut up about her to Lacey for like a month or two and this was years ago but now he just wouldn’t shut up. He just will go on and on and on about his wife and their marriage and she wrote the book about him, and she was devastated because she gone out of her way, driven all the way to Minneapolis to some rare bookstore to buy the book and then when she was reading it, she found out how much she was in love with his last wife, but he bought her yellow roses every day when she was in the hospital and that was devastating to Lacey because she’s never been loved almost I mean really almost ever met at all and so it’s just like what the hell and he kind of try to explain it to her like our marriage was bad it’s still is they don’t know that they don’t realize how bad our marriage was People had a hard time with my wife. She had a difficult personality that’s in the book isn’t it Lacey and it is but there’s a lot that she doesn’t have actual like factual information of and what the book says that they were madly in love, and he loved his wife dearly and gave her roses every day And so she was devastated. He couldn’t explain himself fast enough, and she just gave up on them essentially, and not completely like she still cares about him as a person I still care I care about him as a person I don’t. I never stop with him. I care about him as a person, but he Bluiett Bluiett he is an intelligent man he’s very well bred he’s old money he still wonders if he has a chance with her sometimes because of how bad things are with me he’s very honorable, but he really did blow it because he never took he never took it seriously enough he never took it seriously, not been realized no she’s actually hot. I have to. It’s not just about like street CRED it’s not just about clout. It’s psychological. You know it’s the whole thing is. It’s a different equation, so yeah, poor Luis Bluiett and the good news is that if she’s my soulmate, if she’s my twin flame for eternity he’s better off without her anyway, but he had a reason why he thought he could be with her and out of respect for that if that’s true, we’re I’m trying to honor him as a person and say I’m as I feel bad I’m just as another human because I know he had no idea what he was doing. I will have to edit this post now. I wasn’t planning on talking to her phone I was wanting. I’m just writing it but I feel like I’m better off just talking at this point.

I was writing this post is sort of a joke. It’s not that funny anymore but but the idea is that you know he shows up and is grand as Louis is he makes a total idiot himself. I think the idea is if Louis can make a mistake other people could too. And other men have made the same mistake heralded

Harold knew she was extraordinarily beautiful, but he didn’t entirely anticipated either. Um, you know she’s not proud Ashley she doesn’t have some entourage of men following her around interesting

And Michael also made the same mistake, but Michael doesn’t give a shit because he’s a Rockefeller. And so in his mind if he doesn’t fuck up too much, she’s with him he gets he gets for steps because that was it that was a deal that he made with Lacey. He knows how honorable she is he’s honorable as much as he can be in Christ, so if it doesn’t work out with me, he gets first Debs and he knows that, but that’s how he thinks it’s his brilliance and he’s a Rockefeller and so it’s just take a risk you state your claim and there you go in in a sense he would’ve done that when he was alive with her too and he would’ve felt almost criminal because of how beautiful she is and the fact that she’s old and away if she’s illegitimate, but she’s also not because she’s so young so he would’ve thought boy I really did it this time. I found an old woman in a young women’s body essentially no surgery totally organic I know he’s a Rockefeller and if she’s a legitimate note with his amazing lineage in Pedegree, which actually could still be somewhat impressive if he could sort of figure it out and work it out, so speak. Maybe the Rockefellers should teach everyone how to be American maybe there’s a lot of people like the Rockefellers in America who should just give like American lessons you know to Americans or something because I don’t think you can be an American without being like them to some extent and be successful. Because you know you have to take these calculated intelligent risks because you’re outside of your home country you’re meeting people who have different values different genetics and you have to have a sort of strategy to the whole thing so it’s like no I don’t know what this man looks like naked but I have some hints and I have some other strategic angles that I am playing and I have a pretty good bet that if I play this the right way, I’m going to find out in a safe way And I’ll be fine so no he would’ve easily brought her home and married her very quickly in his 60s or 50s and that would’ve been her life if he had died she’s extraordinarily beautiful and he would’ve been very happy and she would’ve been too slow no he he he would’ve had to explain to her at some point probably that he has always been amazed by how beautiful she was But he would’ve done it in a way that was probably very loving and humble and I am God or honor that part of him it’s still hurtful to Lacey, but I think Michael would probably have found a way to try to explain it to her and know, maybe they’re not twin flames for eternity but I think I think they could’ve had a pretty happy marriage if you had that I know I am not I don’t. I’m not planning on losing Lacey I’m not going to thank you got him but no it’s it’s it’s interesting because he was unaware but then he sort of compensated for it in his own way.

And so maybe that’s why I chose Louis to focus on because he is the saddest and sweetest and funniest example. Harold is a little annoying even though we love him because I feel like he should’ve known better. Michael just did his best.

So you may be wondering if he’s the JFK you thought existed yes, he is actually he’s JFK who won that I was supposedly in love with JFK Enrique Wunderbar does not exist as you’ve imagined him in the David Pitts novel. And Louis Bayard was slightly more honest but no I was not love with Jackie and I was straight. Yeah I didn’t get fascinated by her tiny tits. I’m sorry if that’s mean but I’m a little pissed off right now. no it’s just you know do you imagine it working that way? I think they put you where it’s like you’re gay you don’t like tits at all but then what are the Kinsey scale the further you go it’s like the bigger the boobs. I know him know the truth the further you go the bigger the boobs no that’s not how it works. It’s not quite like that to it. I know it’s it’s more like this. Do you like boobs or you don’t I like boobs I’m straight bio, so I mean I like press and I’m straight, and maybe if you’re out don’t know maybe if you’re pansexual or something you might like Jackie’s look better if you just like her, you might like the look, I wasn’t overwhelmed by her, though in any room in any regard and I was straight.

The point is him know I was straight to the point is-

The pointers no, Michael is the JFK you imagined I could write a whole post about it a whole novelty right about him where he lives and he’s very happy but he didn’t but no he’s capable if he’s bisexual, and he might have fun of having women like Lacey, madly in love with him, utterly devoted to him Maybe not for eternity but it’s really life beautiful women deep interesting women not tragic if he was in love with them, maybe some of them might be tragic but he’s a very loving person so he wouldn’t go around hurting people like Jack, so he’d be capable of having a woman like Lacey Malley in love with him and he’s a Rockefeller and he’s wealthy and he’s handsome. He’s fascinating, and then having yes men who were not me I’m straight, but men who were just as handsome as me I just is intelligent and sensitive about in love with him to as much as men can be, and so then that would be an interesting book quintet and I wonder if that’s with David pets I will be there but trying to write about them that’s Michael Rockefeller not Jack and Lem.

He’s deep, he would rather have someone write a novel about him that’s not embarrassing where he’s nerdy and lonely and unloved or esoteric and intellectual because he knew how much that would mean to Lacey how did he know? Why did he care because he’s Michael Rockefeller and he’s a genius, and in some stratagem that he had he figured that it made sense and he was right. He was absolutely right he’s brilliant man. He’s JD Rockefeller’s grandson. It’s in his genes. He’s a genius. And so he had this way about him. Yeah, of course he did. He was extraordinarily charming. He was very well loved by people, but he was probably also a little nerdy, but maybe not that nerdy, but I think being dead, and knowing how much would mean to Lacey? Yeah he’s not dumb he thought no this is going to be in some thing to Lacey and she’s really hot and I could spend eternity with her. I’m not gonna screw this up.

Hey, is he relatable to an average person? Maybe not because he’s so brilliant and unusual that maybe it is hard for an average person to relate to him as much as it is to Jack but if you try to make him relatable, you probably could him so yeah and he would have to lie about how beautiful he is as a person I’m not attracted to him I was straight. I hate him and I really am straight, but he really is an unusual soul, or he was in heaven were all that special, but on earth, he was still very gifted. He wasn’t God, but he was a very unusual person

Oh, so no, you could easily write a book about him the thing is you could make it evil so it’s like you could have him be in love with Lacey, but then something would have to happen where he would end up with a man or he would have to pick between the two or some thing I don’t know it really should you be writing that because do you even know if it’s allowed to happen it might not be, but if you have the conviction as a Christian that it is Then you’d have to write a novel that wasn’t evil that still involve drama I guess I don’t know what you’re trying to write I guess if you looking for some sort of soap opera in real life, you could imagine one with him him with more than one woman, too, I mean, but he he is that person who could be profoundly loved by a man as I pretended to be I’d be love by Lacey at the same time.

What would happen will they met the man out? I wouldn’t be me he would be genuinely gay so he would seem gay. He would actually be a gay man not a straight buff man who thought he was gay in the 1930s you have to actually have a real gay man Because Michael would never be a non-consensual rapist relationship with a straight man would last he’s too functional and normal for that.

So if Michael had been JFK, there would be no question no outlet in Billings not me but actual Galen Billings was madly in love with JFK and you wouldn’t wonder if he was gay because that line Billings would probably have come out of the closet. He might have gone back and every once a while, out of fear, or a sense of duty or something, but he, he probably would’ve accidentally spilled the beans when he was drunk or some thing I don’t know, but he might’ve accidentally written a diary maybe or told sister, somebody would’ve known for sure not just some random person who says that they know they didn’t didn’t really know what someone would’ve known for sure as much as you could know, most likely that Linn Billings was gay, and so lame in that scenario would be openly, gay, and very in love would’ve died, because Michael died. I doubt it he might’ve been alcoholic because of it he might’ve been into drugs, but he would have looked like me he would’ve had to lie he wouldn’t have had quite as many psychological issues, he would’ve seemed devastated and in grief not like he was literally losing his mind like I did because there’s a difference between someone who’s falling apart, like I was, which suggest a much deeper bigger problem, and someone who is in grief and might be losing their mind in grief.

He probably would’ve been a far more open person with his anger too, so you would’ve seen some fights between him and Jack, that Jack, which is actually Michael him would Michael have used him maybe he might have but then the question would be why why why does Michael being a loving, lovable person, who is capable of love allow himself to use Michael or to use that why would he? I don’t know maybe there’s something wrong with that lame and he’s a little flaky and he’s want to commit him or maybe him there’s something about that lame that irritates Michael, and makes Michael angry he doesn’t want to commit him entirely, because it’s too much of a risk that’s not what happen with Jack and I with that Linn Billings have been fighting over Michael all the fucking time like I found over Jack. No he might’ve been fighting over him in a very authentic way, which isn’t is sick and twisted and perverse, so if there’s some people who are fetishize my trauma response, they probably lose interest.

I know he might’ve found over Michael very easily, and I am not a probably though, and an actual like him and an actual and an actual him admiring way I am and so they might have asked they might have them they might have they might have him they might have been Him they might have time. Sorry I got a little interrupted they might have been they might’ve been distracted, right ha ha no they might have been in love with him and said oh Michael so great to know if you love Michael or those Michael and then been hurt that he didn’t want to commit, but that person would’ve probably been dating other people to like imagined I was but in a different way so he would’ve been dating other men he would’ve probably been flaky a little bit and when Michael died if Michael does Michael dies I guess he’s not as devastated I mean he’s in grief But it’s a little more transformative because of the relationship that he actually has with Michael that’s somewhat profound and reality and so then this man becomes alcoholic and he’s into drugs but it’s not quite as self-destructive and he probably lives into his main island in my 60s but he definitely lives in to 60s he could easily be alive today practically I have died like two years ago or something it’s a very different story it’s far less tragic. It’s far more normal it’s far more healthy. I actually think it’s more fascinating because it’s real. It’s not based on nonsense and it is just as satisfying if you’re used to actual life and enjoying real stories about real people and not just made up toxic caustic, heinous criminal bullshit

I know I mean I’m dead I can’t sue you for libel or slander. There’s no way to do that. If there was a way to do that I would. I would sue the Kennedys. I would sue a lot of newspapers. I would probably so a lot of people a lot of shit would go down if I could do something. Actually, if I could, my father could to Lacey‘s dad and some of you probably might just be dead. We would even be having a conversation you just be dead depending on how serious it Is.

But the NASA thing is, I don’t speak ill of the dead well yeah yeah and you know if you write a novel about them that’s based on your own sexual fantasies about them and bullshit then you sure as heck better hope that no one ever is too affected by it, right, that’s were gay men piss me off because you all seem like jack to me now regardless of what you actually are and going to have to explain that to Lacey if you all are like Jack, if you’re not then you seem like that to me even though you’re not, if you are You’re nuts and homosexuality is not allowed in heaven I wasn’t gay you are and you’re you’re screwed up it’s like people were born without limbs you’re born in a sexually fucked up fucked up body that doesn’t allow you to develop in a normal way like a normal human and so you have sexual desires for other men but normal humans don’t have those problems they don’t have that problem so in this earth on this world, you’re missing an arm sexually When you’re dead and you’re healthy and you have an arm, you won’t want to be gay anymore because you’ll realize that you were just fucked up and inferior.

Or peaches when you’re dead, you’ll realize that you should not have made crap up about me just because I had what a hot dick in a good pod. I want to fuck with your motivation, dripping substance with me anyway? And yeah I am sorry I was screwed up. I thought I was a homosexual cause I was molested I wasn’t at all and that’s my fault and I’m sorry that I confused all of you and I really am sorry, but then it goes to a certain point right to a point and then it starts to become a little weird and I wonder why the hell you people are so obsessed with me I’m not flattered by it it’s annoying

I know it really is it’s annoying you put words in my mouth. You assumed that I would’ve come out of the closet. How the hell do you know what gender I was I was I was a straight male, but you make that assumption that I was a straight nail how do you make that assumption? I had a very feminine How do you know it wasn’t a trans woman friends from the 70s can confirm that I was gay how the hell can they confirm that there’s no real way to confirm that it’s conjecture based on me saying that I was if I never came out of the closet and I was uncomfortable talking about it. It’s actually a huge stretch for those friends from the 70s to think I was really speaking my mind to them, there’s no way for me to be uncomfortable talking about it and be being 100% guaranteed audit psychologically at least it’s very very nice when someone doesn’t want to talk about some thing they usually have something to hide or there’s some thing that’s a little tentative about it or there’s something that’s complicated about it it isn’t just that they’re babysitting a deadman’s legacy. What the fuck what the fucking fuck? Know why wasn’t I comfortable talking about it OK you assumed that it was to babysit Jack Jay ever say that how do you that was all right? Were you reading my mind and there was no way to know why I wasn’t talking about it why I wasn’t coming out of the closet why I wasn’t comfortable talking about there was really no way to know but I wasn’t talking about it even if I was, I might still have been straight and then confused, but there’s a hell of a lot of evidence to suggest that I was straight to suggest that I was at least bisexual, and yet you’ve ignored that since I was dead, adamantly ignored it.

I don’t even Celia Bedell Smith is going to want to kiss Lacey‘s ass because she’s a fucking piece of shit as a woman compared to her. I would bet you anything but that woman is ugly as fuck compared to Lacey and that if she saw Lacey she probably wanna shoot her self in the head because she’s a narcissistic little bitch are you and I don’t know if I can guarantee that, but I should’ve just said what I just said but seriously this is now, but seriously what is this bitches explanation for assuming that I was the most sad widow what the fuck asshole was the saddest widow did I ever tell her that I was the saddest widow if I did I don’t I don’t think I probably did if I did, I didn’t mean it. I was out of my mind when I said it in someway or did Jackie tell her that Lacey has the impression that that bitch wrote that book after everyone was dead after Jackie was dead after I was dead who the hell did she talk to you? It’s very interesting that you take selfie models nurse opinion and David Pitts opinion so fucking seriously. When did he ever talk to me? I’ve been dead for over 40 years. He never talk to me when does sally Bedell Smith take her to take talk to me she might never have talk to me. I can’t clearly say that Lacey either way, but no and that’s gods. Do you know choice and he’ll protect her and me both but no, I work the whole thing out. Let me tell you something she might’ve never spoken to me, in which case how the hell why do you people take her opinion and a and a and a and a random and a David pissed opinion so fucking seriously why they never spoke to me do they ever talk much to Jackie I mean who are they talking to the people who hated me like Gora Vidal so they talk to a man who hated me with a very clear bias and Francis McAdoo who might’ve also hated me or somebody had a very clear bias and who else did he talk to my family? Were they honest with him about what actually happened? They were very suspicious of Jack and they still are why didn’t he include that in his little fucked up novel? Why didn’t Sally Bedell Smith include that in her analysis that’s grounding elite?

I know it’s very suspicious and this is why Lacey gets pissed off to some degree about social class. They’re both beneath her there beneath me as well and it starts to look a little suspicious and it makes us wonder if maybe there’s a little bit of a social class conspiracy to try to take me down a page and make me seem like you know, a real hot gay guy who is still passable straight, do you know find the little aristocrat on sale and then tell everyone that it’s just some thing you pulled out of your closet? No I was I was a straight, handsome old money bad and I resent people who don’t understand that I did stuff to my voice I did stuff to my mannerisms, if you read me though you can tell that I was straight if you’re not capable of that, then maybe you shouldn’t go around making such grand statements about things based on very shitty evidence.

And because if I could know, I would sue them for slander I would do them for libel I would say, Wikipedia, a lot of people would be in very deep shit I would have to come out as openly straight I would have to have court documents from my psychologist, proving that I was straight, proving that I have been molested proving that I had some very confused ideas I would have to demonstrate for you how I talk like a straight man And then you talk to hear recordings of me being gay and you have to compare them. It was almost certain to an O.J. Simpson type case, but I would do it because I’m that pissed off it’s not flattering to me to written about the way that I’ve been read about putting me in some sort of Biography or something like that still obviously I mean I killed myself potentially 1981 before the 1984 pocket was written about the Kennedys that was supposed to be so damn important. I may have killed myself over that book really bad it might have become too obnoxious to me um I was very annoyed with Doris, Kearns Goodwin I was very annoyed with a lot of people at that point who were just so biased, and I also starting to realize I think that I had been totally railroaded and taken advantage of, and I was getting really pissed off about it and no it looks like I killed myself over Jack was in love with him I did not. I killed myself just short of his birthday because I was angry and I was better and I was I was ready to just die and I thought his birthday was a good day to kill myself right? Is that a obvious thing to wonder, did he kill himself on his birthday because he used to call everyone on his birthday no, that’s political spin. That was Eunice‘s idea of trying to take what was obviously a fuck you to the family if that’s listen if I killed myself because I was angry, and now because I was brokenhearted. They may have sense that And then turn it into something that it wasn’t or I wrote some dumb little love letter before I died that was full of shit, but let me tell you something if they knew that I was killing myself over him and it wasn’t because I was in love with him no, they’ve been lying about it and spending it ever cents even at my funeral. It might’ve really pissed off my family, they got pretty used to it I think in recent years I’ve been a little more honest, but they’ve been very bullied by the Kennedys if they know the truth, and I’m actually live in Billings because the Kennedys pout and scream and whine and play the victim. I don’t think that’s that way search isn’t that you want to hear more??

Saoirse not search a.

Search I was raped potentially either by family member like Bobby, or by someone who didn’t give a fuck about her family. I was sick of them all being so fucking dishonest and playing victim all the time potentially OK? Did she deserve it? No possibly not why did they choose her because they’re all a bunch a little fucked up assholes who feel sorry for themselves all the time potentially and they saw her being depressed and deep and that will just screw her over because that’s what they do to everyone else they go around fighting peoples weaknesses, and they really may be too Take it vantage of them and then throw the people into hell like Mary Richardson for me and Lacey we may have a pattern of doing that to people they find people who are vulnerable and they take it vantage of it and then they just don’t care and it might be mostly just sexual so it’s possible but it was really funny to her rapist to rape Saoirse because Saoirse was so vulnerable and sweet and pretty and then I thought well fuck you’re a woman and you’re a Kennedy and you’re pretty at all because most women who are Kennedys are ugly as fuck. I’m sorry they are even Bobby’s daughters are somewhat ugly looking From the women are not attractive in the family they just start sorry and that’s also been lied about kick was hideous really sexual magnetism yeah fucking right I mean no I was more tractive to her that I was to Bobby or any other man but that doesn’t say a whole lot She was the least ugly of all the sisters and if you’re around people a lot maybe it’s like you’re desperate it’s like a hoe maybe she’s sort of good-looking at times but if I really looked at her and I had other options no and they were always trying to find the hottest sister to try to put me in pictures with a D sexualize it. Trust me really there’s a lot of shit that went down. You are so naïve the pictures of me holding people who put my fucking in those pictures without fucking cause I’m gay, they find the hot sister with the curves say ask Kayla put your arms around her and ask gauge will take a picture and then they took a picture it was I uncomfortable in the picture. Hell yes do I look uncomfortable? Hell yes it’s post. The truth is I act very uncomfortable. If you can actually read people you’re not a narcissistic fucked up idiot and you can tell that I am uncomfortable, Jack’s where is the one around with his arm around me he’s always the one fondling my hand while I’m touching his awkwardly. I’m always putting my arms around someone smiling trying to make myself look feminine because I think I’m gay and you at the same time cringing on the inside, I mean god how can you not see that and every fucking picture that you’ve used to try to prove to Lacey that I was gay she told you he’s uncomfortable in that picture and I was.

I know I wasn’t just having fun and then I’ve just outed myself by acting gay on camera. No what happened is that I was posed you know this is like a rape story OK if there’s things we could say well, you suggested it and you thought you were gay and yeah, what does the thing they use that against me? I wasn’t really gay at all anymore. Let me tell you something if Lacey had been there she would’ve known that, and when I did that that same day, she would’ve tried sleeping with me at night she would’ve walked into my room crawled in bed with me and we would’ve slept together, and you know what they’re too stupid to understand what that means which Lacey night is mine boggling because I don’t know how many times we told us to them and they never seem to understand the funny thing is that they know better than to try to kill her for looking at me do you know why because her father would’ve known what happened? He would’ve known that that they’re backward and that they’re hicks and that they’re evil and that they probably killed his daughter for looking at someone the wrong way because you both really can be like that at times it’s not just a myth you’ve seen in some cartoon house, so no they could have killed her. She probably would’ve looked at me you know pricey, my legs sticking up my ass and making a gay is well. I was touching some girls back and like scared to put my whole hand on her completely because I was afraid of getting an erection or something.

Sounds like I’m gonna put my hand on this woman’s back, but I’m not going to like really touch her back completely free to make my hands super straight and stiff because if I let relax too much and like really lean in and let myself really touch her and act normal. I’m probably going to start getting aroused and that’s just not gonna work because I’m gay I really was that fucked up.

There’s possibly times where someone really did say in so many words Heather stand up, or or Marilyn move away from from them or they know Veronica don’t stand by Lum so much because he’s gonna get erection. I mean those exact words that they used, but there may have been times when people sad stuff like that like Eunice or Kathleen or even Bobby or Rose they might’ve said oh my God you know it’s like love is gonna start getting aroused stop holding hands with him him and then it’s like they didn’t say that and the idea was that you know I wasn’t I was gay, but I was still a man arm and they were just too hot to handle. That’s not reality and reality. If you’re really gay, you’re not aroused by women no matter how attractive they are, or there’s no real thing that if you’re really not aroused by a hot woman in a matter how hot she is or how are you know whatever you’ve never found them attractive you just look at all them and you can find you don’t find anything about them arousing maybe you’re gay if you find women somewhat arousing but there’s just never really quite your person like it was for me you’re probably not gay you’re just very particular.

Oh, so I wasn’t I was I wasn’t you know I wasn’t lying to her if she’s hearing for me I really was straight. I really was awkward in those pictures. I’m really not comfortable holding a woman in that position in that time without Lacey because I’m probably going to get a rose because I was very celibate and I was trying to be gay and I was young, so I was still ready to reproduce.

Hey, so so no arm I was acting that way but know if Lacey had been there she would have ended up she would’ve ended up. You know I’m sneaking into my room that night. I was in a sense of tease me, but not in a violent way and kind of like oh you’re gay oh you’re gay you’re gay and you’re actually because she’s so intellectual, and so worldly, she would have thought that it was hilarious if nothing happened and she probably would’ve just lay there and talk with me. We would’ve been friends probably very close friends or she would’ve tried to be my close friend. Maybe they they think they did the same thing that I did they didn’t necessarily and if they did, I rebuffed them, they’re not Lacey. Lacey is extraordinarily extravagantly, sexy and beautiful so it’s a different thing. It’s like a hot woman versus a desperate ugly woman who is narcissistic not the same thing so a hot, sexy, humble, loving woman who does it Lacey is walking in wearing very little to your bedroom at night when you’re a sex starved man, throwing herself at you teasing Lee because you just acted gay all day no That’s what she would’ve done and we would’ve slept together. We would’ve slept together in and it’s sad that they don’t understand that but know that we would’ve slept together. We would’ve probably made a child and I would have married her. She would’ve been my wife, but that’s not what happened I would’ve stopped acting gay at intrusively because of the circle that we were in and how wealthy we would’ve been. No one would’ve thought otherwise the back then no it would’ve been, we would’ve just had a different circle of friends in my family would have been surprised and Lacey being as beautiful as she has been thinking like they used to think people would’ve just thought I don’t know what the hell happened before I don’t want to know they seem normal. Everything seems fine and they would’ve kids we would’ve been respectable. My children might have been teased and bullied at school and people might’ve told my kids stories about how weird their dad was when he was young, but then that would’ve been the 60s and 70s and people would’ve thought well. Your dad was experimenting he was confused do you know him they would’ve just been it would’ve been fine you would’ve been fine people were different pack the different pack that it would it would’ve been fine, and that’s not what happened but that’s it would’ve been nice what it well well look out sort that out but that that that’s not what happened.

I know I was straight I was stupid I acted like I was gay. I don’t know why people been obsessed with me though because you had to of had some sense that something was off I mean how the hell did you turn a narcissistic man like Jack into Michael Rockefeller, essentially Because Michael really is a very different person he’s sensitive he’s loving he’s capable of monogamy. He’s not he might not have been monogamous, but he was capable of it. He wasn’t a jerk, so how did you turn Jack into this profound lover, when he gave no evidence of being that person? And why did you turn me into some sniveling little psycho, weird elfin creature who doesn’t have emotional feelings like a human?

Yeah right I eat it in about of you with the buffoonery that I created an acting gay when I wasn’t but I still think a Biggs real thorough analysis why did you ask yourself no deep questions why did you go with such a shallow understanding of everything, and then base your entire book on it, based your entire premise of seeing the world potentially on your nonsense It’s as a human I’m not gay as a human. It bothers me that you people did that to yourselves.

And you see things that I have meeting in adopt there are some gay men who are like me who imitate me, but they’re not the traits that they’re imitating that are similar to me or not gay the way that your hair curls in the back the way that they act their attitude isn’t strictly gay. If you want me to find men who are straight who are similar to me, I can find them, give me a second

Oh wait, I know I can think of one who’s not get Grant Tinker.

He has the same straight sexual energy as me. Yeah when Lacey, when you read her in illuminati if there’s an illuminati, and you find men who resemble me who are gay to manifest because you do and the dead might be doing the same thing you’re idiots big no really you are because Grant tinker has the same sexual energy as the gay man that you manifested yesterday.

“ does he really?” asks Anderson Cooper.

“ yeah, you know who else he slightly seems like you except Grant slept with women and he was definitely bisexual if not straight see you know you gonna make all men gay to try to make me gay which is repulsive to God and it makes you people seem like psycho, pathic scum.” says Lem.

“ she’s right the man that she saw yesterday had a very similar sexual energy to me. You know who else has a similar sexual energy to them the man who was the anchorman on the Mary Tyler Moore show.” says Grant Tinker. “Ted Baxter. Ted Knight.”

“ yeah I wasn’t gay you know who else has the same sexual energy as me that you Manifested Yesterday Loop, Louis Louis Hill Junior has the same sexual energy you know who else has that same sexual energy this is going to astound you fucking idiots. Lou Grant, Ed Asner. Oh, Asner is close to Azmat. Maybe this is a conspiracy. I bet I bet Asner is close to Asmat, which means that Lem is gay.” says Grant sarcastically.

“ you know his sexual energy that you thought was gay is really just a sexual vibe that a lot of men had in our generation there’s nothing really gay about what she was trying to tell a psychic months ago but you managed to manifest. Someone probably using a Kennedy or a demon, or both, who is was so much physically similar he was short, but he had a similar face to Latin, especially from the side and he had curls in the back of his head like lamb, which means nothing having crows in the back of your head does not make you gay I think you people genuinely think that which is pathetic and sad, but no having curls in the back of your head, and being a man does not make you gay that that isn’t the same thing as being gay there there are many men who have curls like lambs, who were not gay, that isn’t eugenics that’s backward peasant, thinking the curls don’t mean anything in that way I’m not taken guarantee that Lacey can guarantee that I can guarantee that there were a lot of men in my generation who had curls like a lot a lot that genetically started going out of style so to speak after our generation, Lacey finds that very arousing as a woman, and there were a lot of men in my generation who are straight who had hair like that, but they’re all dead, but Lem was one of them.

I know she likes lemons like she likes his hair. His his aesthetic is not right Fishin gay Bobby you’re a fucking idiot he’s not like your father your father might’ve been bisexual Bobby, which could be why you’re obsessed with him being gay because you are too. yeah Bobby might be bisexual. His father might’ve been bisexual and I don’t think they can handle that so then they have curls and I think I was just the curls in my hair that make me gay no that’s your peasant thinking that makes you think that, but that’s not why you’re gay.

Your brother has crows in the back of his head like Bob Joe, playboy like London yours are, so is he more gay than you know of course not why not Bobby, the more like lambs in yours are. I am, but that’s the thing now they try to make Joe Joe the first gay because they don’t want them to not be gay for them. No that’s not the thing you know who else has clothes like that the back of your head your grandfather did was he gay to How do you know who is the girls in the back of their head like that Paul Wellstone maybe he was gay it’s the curls oh let’s see who else had curls like that in the back of their head David Letterman David Letterman had crows in the back of his head maybe David Letterman was gay so when he came onto all those women, it wasn’t real and if you really were to counsel him, you would find out that he was just a repressed gay man because of the curls in the back of his head Bobby

No, David letterman has actually a very similar sexual energy to lamb is David Letterman gay if you found a gay version of David letterman, you could probably if he was in the greatest generation make Lacey scared for a few minutes because lambs a lot like David letterman and his energy to some extent and they both have curls and glasses to maybe both flies. Yeah we’re getting let’s get a little scary Bobby maybe David Letterman’s gay.

I that’s the thing you guys are nuts and no hurt what she’s picking up on is a sexual energy that lame house but it’s such a slut which could be why he’s so hurt by her but that’s where he needs to be a little smarter and realize that he hast to be he has to be the man he has to say no you’re with me and there’s no one else you know But the problem is though, and his sexual energy is actually quite straight and she knows that because she’s looked she’s a straight woman she finds men are generation very attractive and she’s right it is attractive to other women in our generation we’re all dead her father was born in 1894 go do the math. But note Louis has that energy. I had that energy Ed Asner had that energy. There were a lot of men who had that sexual energy and I was one of them hit it what you were picking up on what you translated into that man in my generation was not gay it wasn’t gay, we weren’t all gay that was just our sexual energy. What is it you know ask God it’s like a frequency. OK it’s like a sort of energy. It was our generational sexual energy. It was arousing to Lacey. She was arousing to us go ascot expecting her to explain it to you baby a bit much right now, but it’s not gay and love had it and it was straight OK I’m sorry the Kennedys were too Irish and poured understand what was happening but no he seemed straight and they knew that to some extent I don’t know why they fucking forgot it every five seconds or what the hell happened but let me tell you I I am somewhat Lacey‘s type. She’s with Lem’s but don’t think I haven’t thought of her around this time last year she was up north and I checked her out a little bit. OK that’s how she knows who I am. She was watching the Dick Van Dyke show. She looked into it and she ran across my name and I sort of made a password or potentially OK I am not interested in her but I do have an energy summit like lame, so I kind of figured you know we’ll see and she’s sort of my type. She’s not dramatically different than Mary but but anyway, her body is very similar. Her eyes are so much similar. She’s sort of my type the point is, you know who else has a Summit Saoirse no that’s not quite right Dick Van Dyke doesn’t have a sexual energy like lamb. He actually reminds Lacey slightly of her uncle so it’s a little asexual from her. He also her uncle Ron was a little bit like Dick Van Dyke the one who’s dead Everyone loved her uncle Ron people like Dick Van Dyke. They’re very affable people but you know who’s a little bit like yeah who else is like he’s a little bit like Jack to be honest Dick Van Dyke has a slightly similar energy to jack and did my dick might be straight, but there’s a slight similarity, but it’s just a generational see there’s proof right there, you can’t use stuff like that that’s just genetic and that way to prove that someone’s homosexual, so why did you manifest this man she was at a craft store buying gold leafing for her picture frame and he walked out with this man and they were very weird they were staring at Lacey. It was very awkward, I mean if there’s ilumiNATTI a little part of her wondered if you hired this man to try to bother her and that’s why I kept staring at her because he parked right next to her. He made his big scene and then walked out twice and she looked at him and he stared at her like why are you staring at me? It was very weird, oh she just looked at him and he glared at her like don’t stare at me and I was like what the hell she’s just looking at you for a second it was very awkward. He look like he was ready to start a fight with her so I don’t know what the hell that was but it was a little weird.” says Grant Tinker.

“ wasn’t there something about him that seemed gay?!?” says the They in the Illuminati.

“ you mean like the man yesterday did he seem gay? Like wasn’t there something not really no no the part of the part of the part of him that was like like lamb him could have seemed kind of seem gay, but also could’ve seen straight. That’s why Lacey thought he was straight he being lame and this is where are you? People are obnoxious and you’re about to get a lesson.” says Grant.

“ this blog will be edited I assure you we have been very attacked. I apologize.” says Grandpa Pantell.