“Tonight” by Lem Billings

America no longer exists in Heaven.

Jack Kennedy destroyed America.

“Did we send you a Jewish family Lacey?” asks Ireland.

“Yes, the Kennedys are Jewish in the worst way you can be a Jew, they’re kikes. Jack is a kike masquerading as an Irishman. The whole family are just kikes, that being said they’re are a lot of evil people in Ireland.

I don’t like your country and not all Jews are kikes.” says Lacey.

“When you were in Ireland what the Hell did we do wrong? Just make a list:“ says Ireland.

“1. All of the women hit on my husband.

2. All the men were very cold to me and treated me like I was in love with all of them and psychotic.

3. Umm..I was in a tea room, waiting to have my husband have a romantic conversation with me, when we were interrupted by a psychotic woman who wouldn’t stop yelling at her boyfriend, in one of the most expensive hotels at that time and most exclusive hotels at that time in all of Dublin. It was a very disruptive and she just kept screaming and no one did a damn thing.

4. And I went into an expensive clothing store, and I was treated like a piece of shit while they flirted with my husband. I was a size 00 and hot. They wet mediocre and we didn’t buy anything because I was the one buying the dress…not him.

5. They gave Mark terrible concierge service, and recommended crap places to eat at, and I think it’s because they either hated him or they just didn’t have very good taste.

6. And they called “me high maintenance” for wanting a ring over $6000 at the oldest jeweler in all of Ireland.

7. When I first walked off of our plane a teenage young woman laughed at me. It was totally unclear to me why.

Other than that…it was nice. Ha! But…some of those things really hurt.” says Lacey.

“Which ones?” asks Ireland.

“6, 4, and 1.” says Lacey.

“Why did we snub you?” asks Ireland.

“I don’t know. You’re supposed to know that.” says Lacey.

“What was your experience like in Great Britain again?” asks Ireland.

“Like being in Heaven.” says Lacey.

“I get that you love Great Britain and that it would probably be like Heaven, but it doesn’t make sense that it was so dramatically different. I don’t think people know how to explain it and I can see why it scares you.” says Ireland.

Later.

Lots of men attack Lacey.

“Why don’t you get it?” says Lem. “I exist.”