Bobby’s Best II

Cheryl says this is going on the blog because the CIA’s involves and she’s going to make it rain

And yes, part of the reason Putin took out his nuclear arsenals is because we’ve been talking to Katerina and I have been saying hey precious mama come to papa and I’ve been telling her to do certain things that are shitty. Isn’t that funny?

We’ve also been threatening Putin‘s life and threatening the lives of Russians. Yeah, we’ve been threatening to blow him up from Alaska Joe said the other night I’m going to light a fire in your armpit and I thought that was really hilarious.

Him so he had to take his arsenal out and he’s just been kind of flashing them around for the last couple weeks and yeah I’m involved no no shit yes people like him flash the flash, the nuclear weapons around and they don’t really mean it um, and if they do Then, who the fuck cares anyway will be dead

I’m not worried about Putin I worried about him. I’m worried about Ekaterina because he could easily kill us and then again maybe he won’t. You know I’m in love with him too.

He’s very resistant I don’t think I’ve ever slept with him to but he’s very he’s hot and he’s not tall so I don’t think it will be a problem for us if I try to make something work why am I talking so seriously about it because this blog is it it’s inspiring me to think of my own creative ways to solve things

So I am just thinking if I become president or even vice president for Donald Trump, I could marry Vladimir Putin in the United States, but not in Russia, and that I could conjure lamb, and Lacey could be there. We could have a foursome.

Or a fivesome sorry Cheryl I’ll have to share you

This is a sound like fun

I’ll tell you recently I had a I had a real prick true am I understanding of orgies.

I discovered that if you do more than 10 your toes 10 is toast that’s my rule more than 10 you get burnt out it’s like toast gets burnt. If you leave it in too long if there’s too many people you get burned you get burned out but if, but if you, but if you don’t leave the toast in the toaster for too long, and then you get good toast

I am so my idea is just that if I don’t do more than 10 I won’t have to worry him but fours to five is a good number so I’m just thinking we should do it I’ll be vice president and then you can you can sleep with Lacey or alarm or even shell or me

You can sleep with Cheryl you could sleep with me you could sleep with a lot of people but you could sleep with definitely with me and Cheryl at the same time even I mean I’m just throwing that out there because I just I am I just think that makes sense, so what do you think?

“ I don’t think so. I don’t think it’s gonna work.” says Tsar Putin.

“ he’s been having a lot of orgies with me lately and he’s just really sick of them.” says Trump.

“ you are really huh yeah where where have you been having her orgies?” says Bobby.

“ I had the Vatican Bobby.” says Trump.

“ shit you people are so fucking important. I have never had any sexual encounter at the Vatican in my entire life.” says Bobby.

All right, fine then never mind I mean I don’t know if I was an idea but I guess I guess we’re not we’re not hooking up so that’s OK that’s OK you know his maybe he’s not interested in men I’m Lacey tends to generally actually be attracted to straight men so I’ve seen her have her exceptions with Michael but that’s cool him so anyway, Katerina I don’t think that’s gonna work. I don’t think I can sleep with him to save your ass.

So I think we’re gonna have to talk about Ekaterina’s suicide.

Here is the ground rules. Don’t kill yourself rule number one. Don’t kill yourself because if you do, everyone’s gonna know that I am people are going to probably figure it out a lot of things about a lot of people who would rather just you know leave it as it is because I mean what if someone just reads his blog and things fuck the cattery to kill her self. That must mean that everything Lacey thinks is true, I wish case that must mean that lamb is gay only in Bobby’s imagination see what I did there. I got confused and then I realize that I am the one who thinks he’s gay I don’t know that I really do but I feel like maybe some people do think that and I am very confused by the whole process, because what what even is it to be gay when you’re alone Billings? I have a feeling that it’s not that important because it’s just sort of a non-consequential issue and what does it mean to be a man in Russia? It means you’re afraid for your life because you’re fighting Ukraine and they’re losing, so I think Ekaterina that what we need to talk about is that you should probably just go

If I go, why do I mean I mean go to Ukraine don’t kill yourself but you should probably go to Ukraine. Why do I think that big because I just I think you’re trying to get to America I think Lacey is right I read her blog the last few days And I think you’re trying to get to Ukraine. That’s what you told me you said Bobby I’m interested in oil and I said don’t go there and then she said let’s just be friends.

So I’m just trying to figure you out Ekaterina document suicide let Putin decide that for us if he wants to kill us, he can do it that’s my approach I mean I’m trying to make a deal with him a deal he can’t refuse hubba hubba

No, I know someone who slept with him who is another woman and she she is really beautiful. She was his concubine basically for about 10 years and she was telling me that he’s really good and bad I passed her for information and apparently he’s good in bed so if Lacey says that he’s good or good enough at least I don’t think anyone can compare to Elliot Roosevelt, she told me that he’s really good to you know I don’t know if he’s Elia Roosevelt but apparently he’s really good so now I have it in my little bonnet to try to scoot on over there and see what happens

Ekaterina, if I was better friends with you, I could be a better man than Bill Gates go over there sleep with you too and bring you back home. You could be a part of my campaign and that would really piss Lacey off.

I could make mush this week I can make commercials with you. I’m not kidding people think I’m joking. I’m not joking. You’re an editor you’re smart you have experience in front of a camera. You could easily make a commercial with me so that’s another thought.

Oh so we’re just kind of troubleshooting a little bit so that’s my idea I I think you should just stay alive and see what happens. You know he might just keep you alive for the next 20 years and Torchie every once in a while just so you know that you shouldn’t of fucked up that much but you can’t commit suicide Because if you do that, how will you ever smell perfume again you might never smell it another day ever so you should probably not commit suicide Katerina we don’t have proof that there’s an afterlife using science and I think that’s important thing you know what you could do if you didn’t want to commit suicide, you can get it if you get a Covid vaccine no I’m gonna say it you could you could go to the hospital get a Covid vaccine get a tetanus vaccine get an HPV vaccine get a vaccine for chickenpox and while you’re at the measles and that it was probably likely after that point that you could kill yourself from the text from from the vaccinations

So I think that what we should really do is kill Ekaterina

Marcy Marcy what do you think Marcy, Marcy, Marcy?

Marcy, hey Marcy

I think Merz is asleep. I can’t get a hold of her. I can’t get her telepathically in my head Marcy. Hey Marcy, Marcy Kissy kiss kiss. Hey baby.

And Marcy hey Marcy, yeah OK I gotcha Marcy. Do you think we should kill Ekaterina?

*laughter*

“ hey Marcy, do you think we should kill Ekaterina say she’s wearing nurses noir.” says Bobby.

“ what was that?” she asks subconsciously mostly.

“ I do you think we should kill Ekaterina she’s wearing narcisse noir go look.” says Bobby

“ I am not where I’m not talking about this right now Bobby it’s Monday and it’s early” says Marsie.

“ but mercy that’s not important we’re having international crisis because of the Perfume community unit. You need to understand there are some things you just don’t do. So I don’t know do you think we should kill Ekaterina or not?

“I would I would say what is our Putin think?” says Marsie.

he isn’t telling me I tried to have a five some with them and he turned me down so it’s not. I’m not getting a lot of traction this morning and I just want to hear your opinion should we kill or not? I mean it’s a long long day but she’s wearing nurses to water and I know that will probably last at least until tomorrow on her skin and I think if we get every killer with the perfume on the skin it’ll be symbolic, it will say to the world hey look, we take care of our world we take care of our meaning when we make a mess somewhere we clean it up I Katerina I am trying to figure it out. Just hang out.

That’s funny I wasn’t trying to tell you to go hang yourself my wife said that Mary Richardson, she young or self my brother had a skiing accident and smacked in his smacked his head into a tree. My brother David, overdose on cocaine and Demerol and I and my knees, Shershaah overdose on methadone and some sort of serotonin drug. I think what was that again that’s Zoloft, but she overdose on that, and then Maeve dam was out in a boat with Gideon and fuck, they couldn’t figure out how to get back to sure, I got swallowed alive in the Chesapeake Bay and I just I I don’t know I think Katharina should probably take her bottle of perfume get in a boat and drowned. If she’s gonna die. I think she should take her bottle of perfume and go drown in the ocean but then there’s rule number one and that’s that you can’t commit suicide so never mind don’t do that

You know, I don’t like the fact that there are no Russians standing up for me other than Ekaterina what the fuck is up with that I’m such a nice person I’m trying to de-escalate the situation and I just I feel like I’m talking to these psychics in your country buddy gonna call your Vladi And I just don’t know I just don’t know if if they like me or not I get a weird feeling about it

“ they might not like you your family has been subconsciously antagonizing my people. She is one of the citizens of a country and it does bother me yeah.” says Tsar Putin.

“ I can’t you know I can see that, but it kind of makes me mad and I’m just wondering if I need to start threatening all of you with a nuclear missile. What if I start threatening you with a nuclear missile and you’re threatening me with a new limit off where do you? Hey where do you think those missiles would go? Ha ha ha

“ I think I don’t think I think I think before I did that I’d probably invade your country and just take it over. I don’t think it’ll be too difficult.” says Tsar Putin.

“ I wore in RC store by accident. It got into my subconscious and then I wore it by accident which probably means that Lacey is trying to kill me right?” says Aromablog.

“ I know I have a feeling that you may have done that by subconscious Ekaterina but I think someone tripped you up somewhere either in the living realm or the dead or both.” says Tsar Putin.

“ I didn’t think she’d really Unfollow me.” says Aromablog

“ yeah well I did I had to.” says Lacey.

“ you know what else is really stupid. She’s gonna be exhausted now and her husband‘s not gonna be happy about it.” says Princess Kate.

“ yeah I was off to have sex with her about three hours ago and then Maria shows up because of Hollywood and now we’re having a fight with a Katarina and can I know I just want to say would you like me to kill her if she dies don’t be so sure I’m not the one that did it.” says Lem.

“ call you’re talking about subconscious of a sleep. Why the fuck are you people doing this to me?” says Marsie.

“ marcy you’re not a big deal just shut the fuck up.” says the CIA.

“ Katharina I’m kind of wondering about what needs to happen but we’ll see. I don’t think I don’t think that Lacey can be trusted anymore. I think she should shut down her whole gallery.” says the DNC.

“ what if I just blow up your whole fucking country?” says Tsar Putin.

“ well, I be responsible is it is it the Cuban missile crisis II?” asks Bobby.

“ I doubt that I’m going to have to probably kill her. I have a feeling that some thing affected her subconscious and that as much as I’m going to have to keep an eye on that woman now that she is probably not someone that I should kill. It is a challenge to my authority. It does piss me off, because I would think a Russian citizen would know if they’re loyal that they should never assume this blog isn’t real and start challenging someone who I’ve been with sexually in a consensual relationship by threatening her dignity. When she stands up for herself, she stood up for herself. She put her neck out there a Katharina with a Normas amount of maturity, dignity, and respect for other people and herself and you’re a little we are looking at Katerina and so there are no people who are beginning to wonder if you’re evil and some sort of psychopath so we’re gonna have to look into your criminal background and figure out whether or not you’re a psychopath if you are, we may have to kill you if you’re not then that’s goods

I don’t think, however, that you understood or understand what a fool you made of yourself, and that is concerning.” says a Russian military official.

“ you know Lacey you’re a real asshole to claim that you slept with our Putin. It’s very concerning to us.” says the DNC.

“ except we actually did sleep together, so then how is that concerning that did happen if you years ago.” says Putin.

“ oh, you know him I have a feeling Putin will sort out issues within his own country. I’m not particularly worried if he doesn’t kill her, it could actually be a shelf of leader ship. If he does kill her it’s probably because she’s Perryville, but I trust his judgment Bobby you’ve got to stop going around antagonizing people though just because you’re pissed off that I don’t wanna screw you and I’m straight and Lacey and I are going to go to bed because it’s very early in the morning and we’re exhausted. She made bangers and mash last night and it was hideous as the worst bangers and mash. I think I’ve ever tasted poor thing they spent $26 on meat and then the entire time that she was stood there people harassed her out I just I don’t think you get it so anyway, she can’t live forever I would God wouldn’t let her and a on that note Ecaterina document suicide, but do you take what you do far more seriously because I think you could have a lot of followers that you’re not aware that you have a doubt you’re someone who comes through all of your followers analyzing them. I think Merz is a sleepyhead and off doing something. Yeah Bobby seems to be gone too. I don’t know what just happened to him, so thank you so much for talking with us is our Putin, but no you should not. You should not have copied my wife you should not have copied my wife and it’s sad because you meant something to her and your room that now but don’t harm yourself. Just try to learn from it and not be such a bitch anyway so I’m not no good night.” says Lem