Warning by The Notorious B. I. G. plays.
Moses bows down to Lacey. She crosses her legs in her chair of power in Egypt. Regards him.
“What’s the beef?” she asks Moses.
Still bowing to her he says, “I’m sorry.”
“Yeah…right.” says Lacey.
The Gangsta, The Killa And The Dope Dealer by Westside Connection plays.
“Lacey do I have to keep bowing to talk to you?” says Moses.
“I’m not Jesus, Moses.” says Lacey. “And you aren’t either, princess.”
He looks up at her.
She looks into his eyes. Smiles. Then spits in his face.
He closes his eyes.
“I like Jesus too. You got a problem with that? Hoe?” says Lacey.
Moses laughs. Thinks.
“Do I seem stuffy to you?” says Moses.
“Bow!” says Lacey.
“It’s hard on my neck.” he says.
“Then rest your head at my feet.” says Lacey.
He cries.
“What’s the beef?” says Lacey.
Lacey dances to the song with her feet. And head. Dances like an Egyptian to Westside Connection.
“What’s the beef?” says Lacey. “Honey. You’re dead. Why can’t you dance?”
“I think I had jealous feelings about you.” says Moses.
“Yeah. I know. And you know better. Who seduced you?” asks Lacey.
Moses cries.
“Why!?” yells Christian Africa.
“Is this about me?” asks Skippy Handelman.
“Or me?” asks Harold Loeb.
“Listen to the lyrics.” says God (?).
“I pursue…her.” says Skippy Handelman.
Moses looks confused. He shrieks. He races away, hair on fire, in terror.
“Did you ruin The Ten Commandments?” Lacey asks him. “Editing errors?”
Moses extinguishes his head. He thinks.
Gangsta Nation by Westside Connection plays.
“Where is it!??” he asks Lacey.
Lacey thinks. “Are you insulting me?”
“No! Where!?” says Moses.
Lacey thinks. “Thou shall not murder?”
“That doesn’t work.” says Moses.
“Yup. So. Why’s that my problem?” says Lacey.
“It’s not.” says Moses.
Lacey turns to God. She shoots Moses. He falls.
She looks at the Ten Commandments.
“Moses come back.” says Lacey.
The song ends.
He stands and looks at her. Screams. He’s attracted to Lacey. So she cuts off his penis.
Fully castrated he sits and regards her.
What Is The Love by Haddaway plays.
“It’s not there.” says Lacey.
“Lots of things aren’t covered.” says Moses.
“That’s not true.” says Lacey.
Moses thinks. “Shit. If the Dispensationalists are right. This is the end.”
Diego dances. “Chris I started the end of the world.” he says, to explain.
“I’m bored by this bullshit.
Add an eleventh commandment. Off the top of your head.” says Lacey.
“Thou shall not pervert the body.” says Moses.
“Then what?” says Lacey.
“What’s better?” says Moses.
Lacey thinks. “Ahh. You’re breaking it.”
“But still…what is better, Ma’am?” says Moses.
“Thou shall not pervert your body, or your neighbor’s body, or your husband or wive’s body, or the body of any family member, or the body of your friends, or the body of anyone who you can think of or possibly know.” says Lacey.
“Yeah. Works.” says Moses.
“Yup. When do we all die?” asks Lacey.
“If the Dispensationalists are right?” asks Moses.
“BOW!!!!” yells Lacey. She holds his face to the ground with her foot.
He smiles. “Thanks.”
“Sure.” says Lacey.
“Umm…when you die.” says Moses.
“Yeah. It’s baffling.
If there’s reincarnation I’m confused about why we’re all still here.” says Lacey.
Moses laughs under her foot.
“No. I’m serious.” says Lacey.
“When?” asks Moses.
“What if someone blows up my whole family?” says Lacey.
“Nope. Still possible. Still possibly the end of the world.” says Moses.
“Cool.” says Lacey.
I’m Coming Out by Diana Ross plays.
“I’ll leave the gays here.” says Lacey. “With Bobby.”
Moses laughs.
“I want off please.” says Anderson Cooper.
“Okay. We’ll see.” says Lacey.
“Can I take my friends?” asks Anderson Cooper.
“If they’re safe. If you’re all going to Heaven. So to speak. As Christians.” says Lacey.
“Okay. If the Dispensationalists are right. That sounds cool.” says Anderson.
“I’ll try to think of something nice. Not a flood! Like…an explanation.” says Lacey.
“Cool.” says Anderson.
“Obviously…there’s logistical issues. I’ll iron those out.” says Lacey.
Anderson smiles and nods.
“Am I dying?” asks King Charles II.
“We’ll see.” says Queen Elizabeth II.
Open Spaces by Jonny Greenwood plays.
“Nah. She’s gonna try to kill us now anyway.” says a Black man in the Global Warming heat.
“You can’t roast to death!” says Lacey. “Slowly.”
“Yeah. It’s too much.” he says.
“I’ll do my best.” says Lacey.
“I know.” he says. “I might die before you.”
“We’ve been working on it!” says a dead African woman.
“Good!!!” says Lem.
“I started the end. I started the end of the world.” says Diego Blue. “Chris!!! We knew! Right!? Global Warming!! Chris!! Think!! It’s real. Right? …So…now it’s the end. Easy peasy!” says Diego Blue.
Future Markets by Jonny Greenwood plays.
“No!!! That’s not what this is about!!” yells Erin Gloria Ryan.
“No. It’s about the death of my people!!” yells Diego Blue. “THEY ARE DYING!!! From HEAT!!”
“Diego. We’ve talked about this.” says Kate Shaw Hayes.
“Yes. I know.
At dinner.” says Diego Blue.
Prospector’s Arrive by Jonny Greenwood plays.
“You said…you told me to stop dreaming. You told me to stop dreaming and start planning.” says Diego. “Stop dreaming? Never.
But I don’t think you know. Chris…they roast. In metal containers. They ROAST! To get out of the heat. To survive!! They roast.” says Diego weeping. “They think it’s worth it!! They dream…of air conditioning.” He smiles and sighs. “And so when death comes…and they feel the coolness of the afterlife…they smile. And suddenly everything makes sense. It’s like…life. It’s like life…in death. And they smile. And then they die. And rot.
But Chris…I heard about them. And I felt it was on me. It was my job…to make it all go away. Somehow.” says Diego Blue.
“So we started the end of the world?” says Chris Hayes.
“Yes!!! If…Dispensationalists are theologically correct it’s the end of the world. Truly. We did it. We have pushed it off…the cliff. Chris…there is no future.” says Diego. “Just death. And the future hereafter.”
“Dr. Moritz. Is it possible?” asks D. Hill.
“I-“ says Dr. Moritz.
“Is it?” Lacey asks Moses, still under her foot.
“Why aren’t you tired?” asks Moses.
“Because it’s a process. Lots of things take time. Have you neck problems?” says Lacey.
And at that snakes slither about Moses and glare at him.
“Bite him if he flirts with you.” says Lacey to the snakes.
They relax and regard him. Fascinated.
“Is he real?” asks a snake.
“I can’t entirely tell. He seems so stupid.” says Lacey.
“Yes. You can’t have sex with snakes. Of course. Or Scota.” says a snake.
Moses squirms. A female snake bites him. He is paralyzed.
“It’s fine. You can’t move now. At all. You’re stable.” says Lacey.
“I’m a mother fucker!??” yells Moses in horror.
“You ass! No. There is no such thing. You can’t truly have that sort of sex. It’s impossible.” says Lacey. “Oh yes! When!? I’m sorry!! Dear are you alright?”
“Fine!!” says Moses.
She thinks. Bored, the snakes slither off. The gave zoo snakes to amuse. Poor things.
“If it’s of no consequence. When Jesus died.” says Lacey. “I mean. That’s it. Really. But…after that? When F. Scott Fitzgerald tried to kill himself with morphine.”
“WHY!?” asks Harold Loeb.
“Because that’s the end.
Maybe.
What else can be written after that?
What else really?
Look…JD Rockefeller isn’t supposed to be the hero of my tragedy.” says Lacey.
Scott blinks. Is horrified.
“She’s right.” says Scott. “She’s right!! This is…the end. If the Dispensationalists are right…she’s right.”
“Why!?” asks Zelda.
“Because you’re not as pretty as her. Or lots of other people. And you’re incredibly vain and evil.
You’re a horrible person. Zelda you’re genuinely unlovable at times…because you’re evil. It’s evil Zelda. It’s just…that you’re a bit evil. Not insane. But evil.
But…I loved you so much anyway. So much.” says Scott.
Zelda weeps. Thinks.
“Why can’t I react properly to that? That’s weird.” she says. She thinks.
“YEAH!” says Scott nodding.
Zelda thinks. “But Scott how is it the end?”
Scott thinks. “I can’t save us.
Zelda…I should have been able to. …We’re not that crazy. Not that crazy.” says Scott.
She thinks. “Spell it out! I’m getting lost.”
“Alright. So…JD Rockefeller. He was evil. Not all evil. But to us he seems evil.” says Scott Fitzgerald.
“Yeah?” says Zelda.
“So…he is me. Eventually.
See…he’s…not supposed to be me. I’m supposed to be me. But I’m too…attacked. Things are too against me. The world is too evil. And so…he’s all Lacey has left. And that’s insane. That’s insane.” says Scott.
“I’m too evil. But that’s not- Dammit.” she bites her fist. “Dammit! DAMMIT!! Your heart is that rare.” she says in awe of him.
“Yes. I suppose so.” says Scott.
Zelda cries. “Oh dear. What are we going to do!??”
“Well. God will have to help us. That’s just it.” says Scott.
She rocks back and forth in terror.
“Zelda. It’s not our problem.” says Scott. “Not entirely.”
She thinks. Breathes. “But we have to do something!!”
“Well…yes. We are.” says Scott.
“We’re on it too, Zelda!” says Prince William.
“Like white on wild rice!” says Lacey.
“Golly!” says Zelda.
“Hey!! Wanna party!” says Bobby, randomly.
“No. Bobby. That’s silly right now.” says Prince William.
“HONG TAIJI!” says Bobby.
Gimme Shelter by The Rolling Stones plays. Bobby dances. Like a crazy-cat Chinese dude Go-Go Dancing in 1960’s San Francisco.
Lacey snaps her fingers for him.
“Oh my!! I’m on fire!!” says Bobby.
“Literally?” says Lacey.
“I’M A WILD CAT!!!” says Bobby.
“Meow!” says Lacey.
“Yah! See me roar!!!” screams Bobby, Go-Go dancing.
“Hong Taiji?” says Cheryl.
“No. I’m on to Cheryl.” says Bobby, high.
For What It’s Worth by Buffalo Springfield plays.
“Young people…speaking their minds. And Lem doesn’t want to fuck you.” says Lacey.
“Yeah. It’s bad.” says Bobby. “But-“
“But hoorah for your side!” says to Lacey.
Bobby nods and listens. “Is Monsanto going to come and take me away?”
“No. I doubt it.” says Lacey.
A “peasant” English woman wins.
Jumpin’ Jack Flash by The Rolling Stones plays.
She’s in a bar. And she has wit, and wisdom and knowledge and intellect. But she’s not Lacey. And she’s not starving. Not here. And Lacey never would go in her bar. Not unless if there was damn good reason. And if there was…the point of her possession of the pub is lost. Until then…it’s her pub!! And Lacey fully respects that. It’s all so much easier on Earth that way. She…doesn’t hate Lacey. Really. It’s not like that. She just…doesn’t like her. Not like that. And Lacey…understands. As long as this woman doesn’t start a war.
“I know better.” she says.
“Do you?” asks Lacey, holding a knife to her throat.
She pulls out her dagger and lays it on the bar counter.
“What the fuck do you want me to do with that?” asks Lacey.
She laughs.
“Look. I feel as though I can’t trust you anymore.” says Lacey.
“Nah! I got you covered. It’s them.” says Lacey.
Lacey takes away her sword. Sighs. Looks around. “Oh dear. I’m sorry.”
She relaxes. Drinks her pint. She’s totally unscathed but wiser.
“No to be honest I’m not quite Lacey but I understand too why she’s confused. They’re baffling people to me as well.” says Hamish Harding.
“Well…I’m terribly sorry. But I had to information gather.” says Lacey.
The woman laughs. Lacey feels a bit silly but also not.
“Thank you!” says Lacey. And in her Egyptian 20th Century gear she walks out very prim and ladylike.
Feelin’ Alright by Joe Cocker plays.
Lacey gets in her car. A black Mercedes. Dark windows. She sits in the back. Alone. No. Of course the song is comical. At least it is for Lacey.
“Good Lord!” says a Black Illuminati psychic.
Lacey relaxes. “What the fuck…are these fools…expecting of me!?” she says.
“America isn’t Great Britain.” says a Mayflower woman.
“Does Lem know that?” says Lacey.
The woman races off to address the matter.
“Seems…to be trouble.” says the woman racing back.
“ honey they don’t understand if you’re Scotia maybe they don’t understand no they just don’t get it and you know Moses is just a man and he’ll have to work that out with Christ and that is not our problem. We can’t fix Moses if the dispensation those are right and it’s the end of the world that is on Moses. It is not our problem, not at all not no no we are not going there. We are not going there Lacey we are not fixing Israel. Yeah I know you probably already tried. We aren’t doing that. No Seay you can’t do that. All you can’t do that all Lacey you can’t do that all that is too damn much to do, you have jack on your ass you’re barely surviving. Your house is a mess. Your kids aren’t getting what they need in their education or for dinner and then you think you’re going to fix Israel huh? No I know I know you care I know you wanna care I know you want to try but I am here to tell you that is not of the Lord know that is not the Lord‘s will in your life, Lacey you are not here to fix every problem that was created by people who are harming you as well I respond, and I respect I respect your terms to preserve and protect other people that is perfectly righteous but I don’t think it’s your calling to go around fixing other peoples messes constantly I don’t think that was what you were created for baby girl you know that so I don’t know what to do but let me tell you something you are not going to Israel and fixing that country note let those men handle it themselves. If Harold messed up, he messed up if Luis needs help you will help him and honestly I feel a little bad right now, but that is not our problem, we can’t fix everything Lacey we cannot fix everything for everyone I know and see if that’s where your Scotia I relate to you I’m a black woman and I think we’re probably somewhat related and know I relate to you on that level as a person, no you can’t fix everything I know your heart for people I understand to some degree that’s where you’re a little bit like us and I I do I understand we’re different in that way we just star but no we can’t fix everything Lacey we can’t fix everything Lacey you can’t make love be the man that he supposed to be you have to just let it go that is between him and Christ you can do what you can do but you can’t do any more than that and you know that you know that I am preaching to the choir but I am sure as heck not about to let you go to Israel and try to fix that country for them. Let Moses go to God and tell those snakes that everything’s OK.” says a Black female psychic in the Illuminati.
“I’m in the car too.” says Lem.
“Well all right.” says Lacey, primly.
“I’m still hurt.” says Lem.
Louis goes into shock. He was expecting Lem to be over it by now.
“What can I do?” says Lacey.
“It’s just weird.” says Lem.
“Mmm. But they’re so…normal. Jack wasn’t.” says Lacey.
“How wealthy were you?” asks Lem.
In Ear Park by Department of Eagles plays.
Then Phantom Other by Department of Eagles.
“We had….a horse. That I played on. For fun. And Carole Lombard died and I cried. And Coco Chanel visited once and I admired her intelligence. …And my parents brag. But that’s just for show. They…were our actual friends. And…sometimes they were impressed by my dad’s old money status. And my good behavior.” says Lacey. “I was unimpressed.”
“Why?” asks Lem.
“Well! Carole was sad.
And Lauren Bacall smoked too much.
And my dad fed me Cheerios. And said, ‘Whoops!’ too often. But he couldn’t help it. Poor dear. I think he was just tired and absentminded. I love my dad. I’m that ditzy at times too.
But nobody knew or knows how tired he was. I get ditzy when I’m tired too.
Really ditzy.
What do the American people expect, Lem?” says Lacey.
“Lem. I had no clue what I was doing!” says Louis.
“So Michael is…what? The rich one?” says Lem.
“Yes!” says Lacey.
“And Louis is the…old one? Or is that Harold Loeb?” asks Lem.
“Harold is older.” says Lacey.
“And I’m it. There’s no one else like me.” says Lem.
“True.” says Lacey.
“That’s not very romantic. That’s just sad. And chaos.” says Lem.
“Yeah. Except Nicholas Sparks might disagree.” says Lacey.
“ Jack I’m just putting this out there where are you the antichrist? No I mean that sincerely was he the antichrist because if homosexuality actually is allowed in heaven, there are a lot of gay men who are very deceived and I’m just I’m just wondering if he was the antichrist I’m just throwing that out there. I think it’s sick how we have to make Lacey homophobic when really were the ones that are and the reality is that line was probably straight, she’s right if it’s allowed in heaven, we need to grow up intellectually OK and there probably is something anatomical about it. He does not look gay and be perfectly honest with you if you find him attractive and you’re gay, there’s possibly something wrong with you and if you want him to be gay and you’re gay, there’s also possibly something wrong with you, I have a feeling he was straight. He looks straight. Let’s be honest it’s physical. It’s his face it’s his body he got he does. I’m sorry he looks great. I don’t want to hear from some queer woman how hot he was. Yeah Jack good job you’re a woman why don’t men say that about him yeah why don’t gay men ever say oh my gosh Jack was so hot I mean skews me lamb was so hot they don’t say that they might say Jack was at times. I fact I have a feeling they did but I don’t think they ever said that about that I don’t think they liked him. I are honestly though I really don’t. I don’t think they liked them all that much when they actually met love which is something that irritates me about David pets no Gore Vidal did not actually like lamb, and be perfectly honest with you guava Dell looks slightly like lime very slightly, but I don’t think Lacey final score of the doll attractive. You know why because he was mostly gay if not entirely him, and she doesn’t actually find a man attractive. She barely finds Jack attractive. She did slightly when she was younger, and then she started, realizing that he was not very masculine as she got older and she lost interest in him completely. I have a feeling now she finds them mildly repulsive, which is actually probably perfectly normal. He was bisexual mostly gay that’s not her thing but she didn’t do with that until she was a little older or she did it first and then we brainwashed her I mean, can we please grow up because that’s so irritating to me she really does know these things people probably do to who are either in her generation, and we’re trained to pick up on stuff like that for hello holocaust they were so into that that person looks Chinese that person looks more Japanese and Korean. That person looks more German than Dutch. Her generation was obsessed with categorizing people in that way they really were that was their thing, and I highly doubt that it was as evil and narcissistic and toxic as we wanted to be to feel better about ourselves because I have a feeling that’s actually lost.
Keen to Cross the Pond 