“Danger” by A Living Gay Man

Shotput by Still Woozy plays.

I’ve been a long time reader of Lacey’s blog. I first started reading her blog in 2014 when she discussed the similarity between Creme de la Mer and German Nivea. *I laugh* Why? Ahh…because…she’s right. Their chemistry is similar, so to speak. Forgive me, I don’t know enough to discuss that intelligently. But…I know enough to know that’s true.

I’m not a fan of hers. Or am I?

Ahh…well…I’ll let you decide.

Shit it’s so easy to copy her cadence of speech. Except it’s also not. It looks so much easier than it is. And I’ve tried so many times but I can’t quite get it right.

Anyway…why do we need Jack Kennedy to be straight? Because…he’s the ugly one.

*I laugh*

I’m sorry. Someone dared me to write this. And I’m already drunk this evening. …Sorry.

*I recover myself*

No. It’s just…he is. I’m sorry. HE IS.

Like…it’s an okay face but…those ears are elf ears. And he has bug eyes. And his lips are too thin. For a man.

Dear GOD! HE IS UGLY.

Stop the madness. He’s like a gremlin.

And no joke…he looks like he has a real learning disability. Which is- *he laughs*

I wonder if he had a hard time learning to talk. It looks like he had a cognitive processing disorder he covered-up for with evil and jokes.

No. Dude looks dumb. Dumb as rocks.

And I think…Lem actually does look straight. But DAMN Lem was hot. HOT DAMNITY DM ME!

Yeah…except…he looks straight too.

It’s like…okay Kirk! Have you way. But then…not. Hmm.

Why? Well…he’s…umm. *I laugh* Gross.

Okay. Not gross to Lacey. But gross to me.

No. Jack…is…not my friend. *He laughs*

So…y’all be honest. Why?

Let’s think like Lacey.

That’s so fricken heterosexual!! The way he has no flippin CLUE how dumb that bandage looks. Because you can tell he doesn’t. And the way those pants are way too short. Like…no. They’re short. And the way he holds his hands here! So ‘straight dude who’s the boss’. And his lack of certain forms of muscle tone and then the abundance of other muscular…definition. Hmm. Because like…

That’s not sexy.

Not to me.

It’s sexy…but not…to me.

He’s clearly totally unaware of what’s hot to men who find men attractive. Those pecs are shit compared to everything else. To a woman they might seem sexy. But to me…they seem…flat. Flavorless.

Jack…however…is ugly.

*I look sad*

Lem is lacking pectoral muscles. But…he’s still sexy and smart. And let’s be honest my friends…he’s our only US President. In a sense. Jack isn’t that smart…but he’s clever and Lem and his story is passable. It’s not…real history. Like…is very suspicious. …But…it’s so damn close to being real. Well…at first glance it is anyway. So…we jump on…because we need that. We need…hope.

I’m not sure why we have to be this stupid though. Why? Why do we have to be this braindead? Who’s using us?

Because…it honestly scares me shitless.

Nah. Lem look straight y’all. He does. For real though. …SHIT.

And I don’t see how you can honestly tell me this isn’t creepy.

Because as I write this I feel like some demonic entity or force is trying to seduce me and coerce me into believing the lie. So I guess I’ll just put on my tinfoil hat. Right? Shoot.

Why?

Why can’t we be honest. We need representation. In politics. The gay community needs representation.

Like REAL representation.

Not to be mean but…bro…why the Democratic Party always holding back? Barack Obama? Hell no! That elite, Harvard educated fool was African. He was black in skin color but he was African. His ancestors were never slaves.

I want to see a day when a BLACK man can be US President. I want to see a day when a WOMAN can be US President. A Jew! A Somalian.

I’m just sick of it.

Anyway.

Just stop lying. We’re using the Kennedys.

I loved the idea of Jack and Lem. To a point. Right? But Lem is a straight dude. And we’re not all his lovers, secret best friends, allies, sons, and brothers. Actually…none of us are. He’s just a nice dad who never was. He’s just…a cool-ass breeder who never was. He’s just…not real. Mmmkay? He’s not real. And as a Millennial I’m tired of being lied to.

Jack is ours. Sorry kiddos.

But….it be cool, yo!

We just need to all be allowed to be angry. And all be allowed to exist.

I’m a- I’m mostly gay. And I’d probably identify as gay. But…does that make me bisexual? Mm. Maybe? *shrug*

Anyway…Jack betrayed us. He betrayed us. And then we let him use us. And I’m done with that.

Stop bothering me with your bullshit Bobby. Stop bothering me with your bullshit Satan.