“I’m Friends With Rupert” by F. Scott Fitzgerald

(Adult content below)

“I’m Lacey’s ‘twin flame.’ But let’s examine what she likes. Because I’m sick and tired of her sexuality and mine being totally disrespected.

That’s Rupert Brooke. He’s most famously known as a homosexual, but he was actually attracted to women on occasion. And while she’d not ever act on it Lacey does find him attractive and vice versa.

That’s me. If you look long enough into my eyes you can tell I was straight. But you’ll hopefully find that out among other things when you’re dead.

I’m her ‘twin flame.’ She finds me physically attractive but she loves me.

That’s Skippy Handelman a fictional character Lacey had a crush on.

That’s what Lacey should have looked like.

That’s her legal husband and his younger brother.

She was in love with him. That’s Louis.

She was also in love with him.

Her legal husband.

Are you getting it?” says Lem. “She’s not a lesbian. She’s a straight, cis woman. And…like most normal people she has a type.

I just wanted to point that out.”

“So…let me get this straight.

You showed her your apartment?!??” says a reader. “When!?”

“Two years ago. Or three.” says Lem.

“And then she looked at photos of it and it looked like how she saw it!?” says the reader.

“Yes.” says Lem.

“Okay. So…how does one explain that?” asks the reader.

“We lie and tell ourselves it’s not true.” says the CIA on behalf of Bobby.

“But it’s fact?” asks a reader.

“Yes.” says Lem.

“Yes.” says Lacey.

“Yeah. That’s not…normal. There’s either an Illuminati or a supernatural- Actually there’s definitely a supernatural. But…I’d bet there’s possibly an Illuminati.

No. Someone not seen showed you that, Lacey.” says a reader. “And she heard Elliott Roosevelt’s voice?”

“Yes. And then heard it.” says Elliott.

“She places way too much value on our opinions. Lacey…you know…you didn’t know what his apartment looked like. Unless you were there. Otherwise…you didn’t know.” says a reader.

Lacey thinks.

“I tell myself I’m good at antiquing.” says Lacey.

“I get it. Like…you know what time periods look like. But…did you have the aesthetic right or did you see…the lighting and proportions and details?” asks the reader.

“I saw the layout. The proportions. The window frames. The cabinets. The lighting. And the way it felt.” says Lacey.

“Like the place itself!” says a reader.

“Yes.” says Lacey.

“That’s…way too much information!” says the reader of this blog. “You can’t just…guess that.”

“Lacey how do you go there?” asks a reader.

“I just go.” says Lacey.

Rupert Brooke laughs.

“How!?” asks a reader.

“I just decide to go and go.” says Lacey.

“That’s literally all!?” she says.

“Yup. I decide to go and go.” says Lacey.

“You do sound somehow slightly dead.” she says. “For real. I don’t think you’re astral projecting. Because you’re not trying to project your spirit? You’re just-

Lacey do you fight to stay alive?” she asks.

“Yes. I think I might.” says Lacey.

“When did you start that?” she asks.

“Possibly in utero.” says Lacey.

“That’s fascinating. So…you’re responding to God. Or being respectful of Him, or something.” she says.

“Yes.” says Lem.

Later.

“Lem you really do seem straight. It’s true.

Jack looks like Rupert.” says a reader. “But I think it’s their sexuality.”

“OH MY GOSH!!!” yells a demon. “We could pull her out of her body almost.”

“I’m sold.” says another male reader. “You were straight, Lem.”

“What was that like…impersonating a gay man?” asks the man.

“It was…tiring. I never felt relaxed.

I think people noticed. And…it’s why I’m described as being like Zelig. From the Woody Allen film.

This man just liked one of my wife’s posts on Instagram:

He looks very gay. Maybe I look slightly similar to him, but not much. And if you look into his eyes you can see he’s homosexual. It’s so obvious!

Come on! How do you all not see it!?

It’s just there. He is gay or bisexual. Definitely.

And Jack looks very similar in his…eyes, we’ll say. I do NOT.

Some people might keep imagining I look gay. I don’t. LOOK!!!

It’s there.

Even in this photo where I’m trying to look gay. I don’t. Not really.

I made my eyes look like his. But I can’t change the fact that I am and was straight. And it shows in my eyes.

Lacey can tell I’m available because I WAS.

Jack looks somewhat gay. And to be honest often thought he was and that I was not. Men often told me to lower the pitch of my voice out of concern for me. And they told me to stop acting. And I always felt…very conflicted. Jack…was never told to lower his voice. But people just…gossiped about him being possibly gay.

Those are sexually similar men. How is that not obvious!??

Those are straight men acting gay. I look exactly like that. My sexuality looks far more like theirs. It’s OBVIOUS.

What is it!? It’s just who we are.

Gay Rights Advocates are FOOLS when they argue this. And it’s been so astonishingly stupid it’s been…paralyzing.

I’m making love to Lacey, a cis woman. So…WHAT HAPPENED!? …It’s not at all a typical thing for Gay Rights activists to argue that homosexuality disappears in Purgatory or Heaven. But that’s their violently insisted point!? Or what? Because why did I stop being gay!? WHY!?

It might be allowed in Heaven. Okay? But…Gay Rights Activists…don’t argue that. Right!? Or do they now!? Is that the new lie?

So…that makes no sense.

But…beyond that…I just wasn’t gay. I just wasn’t. I was heterosexual.

So…I don’t…speak to whether or not homosexuality is allowed in Heaven. Because I was straight and still am. …But…apparently no gay person is worried about that anyway. So…

What exactly do you all think is happening on this blog? Because there is a real supernatural element. Whether there’s an Illuminati or not. So what do gay men assume? That I’m a demon?

How likely is that? Considering her intense, heartfelt desire to honor and serve and worship Christ. It’s…at least very unlikely.

So what else could I be? A hallucination? Well…that’s not at all possible. Not if you closely and objectively examine every post and analyze everything like a Stanley Kubrick.

No. Be honest. I look straight. Skippy does too. So does Harold Loeb. I seem more like John Wayne than JFK ever did. Or did John Wayne seem like me? I might be more straight than he even was.

Actually I might have been so straight I didn’t understand homosexuality. And I was ignorant. Well educated and elite and intelligent but…ignorant. And obviously confused.” says Lem.

“So it’s like A Portrait of Jennie?” says a woman.

“Yes.” says Lem.

“Jack does look homosexual.” says a reader.

“Why do we lie about JFK’s sexuality?” asks another reader.

“He’s not supposed to be gay. It’s not their brand.” says a Hollywood producer. “I think if that’s Lem…and she’s hearing him…that it’s very likely he was straight.

Okay?

It’s my personal opinion that he was heterosexual. Lem.

They used Lem’s sexual confusion to throw us off. *he shrugs*

Because we get our head tied into knots trying to process what we’re seeing with Lem. And then we are more vulnerable psychologically to fall for the answers they want to force down our throats about Jack. And Jack worked at being seen as straight. And I don’t just mean by sleeping around with women. He did the opposite of Lem. He altered his voice and mannerisms in public to always seem very straight. …They sold him as very straight.”

“So they need to keep up the image of the brand?” says a reader. “To stay profitable and powerful.”

“Yes.” he says.

“But they still want to use Lem to make even more money and get more popular. Even though it’s total rubbish. Which…is dangerous. So they lie to themselves. …Or they didn’t know how bad of an idea it was.” says a reader. “Because it’s blowing-up in their faces.”

“Yes! Definitely.” he says.

“Yeah. He does look straight.” says a reader.