“The Kennedys”

(May 8th, 2024)

So apparently the Kennedys see themselves as a sort of half-Vaudeville Act half-Evil-Buddhist IRA. They act like Vaudevillians merely seeking to entertain us all and yet they also take themselves as seriously as people who bomb English speaking people for reasons of justice. Yes. They…take…themselves…as seriously…as if they were the IRA.

What is their plan? To become more evil than Hell….mostly through profound conceit and sadism and yet…as innocent as Jesus. YES! As innocent as Jesus.

Example:

Jack looks like what Millennials would have called retarded here. Why? Because he was the dumb, potentially. He wasn’t actually retarded though. He was just that dumb, potentially. So…why was he displaying that quasi-retardation here? Because he didn’t care in this moment. Why? Because he was profoundly happy. He wasn’t straight. …And Lem was standing outside the Photo Booth waiting for him to finish his round of photos. And Lem was probably laughing, trying to have fun or he was making jokes or saying something that was like Lem. Lem is very lovable. So…Jack was…over the moon. He felt…so happy. Because he thought Lem loved him. He genuinely believed that Lem LOVED HIM. He lived in that reality. It’s actually quite sad. …But Jack didn’t know that. Obviously, Jack didn’t know that. He lived in the reality that Lem was happy by nature and that he was also crazy about him, so to speak. Jack projected his minor amount of love onto Lem…but then also built that up into something astounding in Lem. And…he just enjoyed Lem. So…Jack is feeling really in love in these photos. And really safe. As safe as if he was Lem’s pregnant, middle class, American…young, beautiful wife. …And so while Jack usually hid his natural stupidity by acting to protect himself, he has it on full display here. He looks every bit as dumb, ignorant, backward and vulnerable as he is.

The Kennedys hide their family problems. And by family problems I mean their psychological issues, overall health issues, and their profound evil.

So…while other people actually run the world…they’ve gotten a lot of undeserved credit. Why? Because they have power. And they got that power through evil, determination and an enormous amount of money. …So what do they do? They entertain us. They wow us. They act like they have power. And they do have actual power. But it’s also an act.

“No. It’s an act.” says Bobby Kennedy Junior. “It’s an act!”

“So?” says Sophie.

“She’s right. It’s an act.” says Bobby.

“But…you also have actual power. You’re in the Illuminati, Bobby.” says a star from The Office.

“Hold on! Hold on.” says Bobby. “Ahh…yeah. Yup. Okay. …But…it’s just…like being a celebrity.”

“In the Illuminati.” says a celebrity.

“But…okay. Umm. I’m…thinking…no. I’m thinking that it’s a no.” says Bobby.

He thinks.

“It’s an act. So…” says Bobby.

“Bobby. That’s not everyone else’s existence.” says NBC.

He thinks. He gets scared.

“You know…I’ve been basing my whole life on the premise that we’re The Kennedys. I didn’t realize we were…real.” he says.

“Yeah. No. You’re real.” says NBC.

“Then I could theoretically lose power.” says Bobby.

“Hmm! Yeah.” says a reader.

“What the fuck, you guys!??” says Bobby. He laughs and smiles.

“So you’re all more evil than Boeings?” asks NBC.

“That- Yeah. I mean…that is our aesthetic.” says a younger member.

“So…why…does anyone care about what you say?” asks Boeings.

“Because…we’re…” starts Rory.

“Listen! We’re a family of social Justice warriors.” says Bobby, like he’s losing patience.

“Okay…but if you’re…more evil than Hell…then…you can’t be good…like JESUS.” says Boeings. “He was all good.”

“That’s Ireland.” says Kerry.

“That’s IRELAND!?” says Boeings.

“Yes. That’s IRELAND.” says Bobby.

Awkward confusion.

“So…you all…don’t-“ starts the CIA.

“Why isn’t Jesus in America?” asks Islam.

“Because America is a land of science.” says Bobby, laughing indignantly. “Real science.

Look…my father…is from a generation that valued real science. The ‘science’ I war against is phony science. …I’m saying that America is a land of real science.” says Bobby, suddenly in awe.

“Huh. But Jesus…is still Jesus.” says Boeings.

“No!!” says Bobby, shaking his head as if he’s a grand intellectual who’s deeply annoyed.

“No?” says China.

“Hush!” says Bobby, laughing nervously to China.

“Bobby. You can’t tell me the concept and idea of JESUS isn’t real. I’m far more aware than that.” says Boeings.

“It’s real…but how do we conceptualize that!?” asks Bobby. “You have to think of the historical analysis of him…and the religious iconography. Which are two very different things. And there’s an important distinction. I mean…let’s be careful. But…it’s an important distinction, and the hermeneutics are way off in almost every context anyway. …So let’s not forget about that!” He laughs.

“Bobby…why do you want to be as holy as Jesus? Why does your family worship him?” asks Boeings.

“Because! Look. You let me say things about all of you…and gain power to silence anyone else who would do it.” says Bobby. “So…let’s talk about that??”

“Bobby…who…would do what you do?” asks Boeings.

Bobby thinks.

“Bobby…there is no one.” says Boeings.

“But you use me!” says Bobby.

“Yeah…but…at the same time…we don’t care. Dude…you’re a freebie.” says Boeings. “You’re an easy opportunity. Why not!?”

“But you take it!!” says Bobby.

“Why…not?” asks Boeings.

They all think.

“Okay. I’ll bite!” says Bobby. “My concept of Jesus? The Irish Catholic Jesus.” He shrugs.

“Yeah. I know.” says Boeings.

“Then…what’s your problem!?” spits Bobby.

“You can’t be like the actual Jesus and also be more evil than Hell.” says Boeings.

“Ahhh…I’m also not Jesus, you stupid mother fucker.” says Bobby.

“Bobby. …Bobby…you can’t be like Jesus and be that evil. That’s Catholicism 101.” says Boeings.

“Oh okay. Sure!” says Bobby.

“Bobby. It’s not.” says China.

“YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!” yells Bobby, at Boeings.

“No. Don’t box Bobby in.” jokes a reader. “He’s a free-spirit.”

Bobby smiles and shrugs.

“Bobby…it’s not…Christian.” says China.

“GO AWAY!” says Bobby to China, losing his cool.

Kids With Guns by Gorillaz plays.

They all wait.

“Bobby…why Buddhism?” asks Japan.

“I’m a Buddhist?” asks Bobby.

“A…perverted one?” says Japan.

“NO! NO! You don’t say that to me!!” says Bobby.

“Bobby can you speak in Chinese?” asks Japan.

?

“Why!? I- I…don’t know.” says Bobby.

“Bobby…you…can’t be both good and evil in that way in Christianity.” says Japan.

“You’re supposed to be all good…always.” says the Pope.

The Kennedys looks worried.

“Ha!! Loser. It’s not that easy.” says Bobby.

“Bobby…that’s Christianity.” says the Pope.

“But that’s not what it means to be a Kennedy.” says Bobby.

“That’s BEYOND THE POINT.” says the Pope.

“The Kennedys don’t care about Christianity.” says Bobby.

“Then why are you being good?” asks the Pope.

“Because we are good.” says Bobby.

“Then you’re all ex communicated from the Catholic Church?” says the Pope.

“We don’t need you.” says Bobby.

“Bobby…do you speak on behalf of all your family?” asks the Pope.

“I DON’T CARE! Ask them.” says Bobby.

“Bobby…why do you care?” asks the Pope.

“Because of Jesus! Geez!” says Rory.

“Then you can’t be evil too.” says the Pope.

“No! I say GOD DAMN YOU!!” says Bobby standing-up.

“No. God can’t damn me…just because you say so.” says the Pope.

“Why not!?” says Bobby, sitting tall and laughing at the Pope like he’s a loser.

“Because that’s not technically how it works.” says the Pope.

“LOSER!” says Bobby.

“Nope.” says the Pope.

Bobby fumes. Goes silent as he fumes and calculates.

“I don’t think you…” starts Boeings.

“This is important. YOU HAVE A GREAT RESPONSIBILITY TO ME.” says Bobby to the Pope.

The Pope looks at him very seriously thinking he’s being sincere.

Moments later after they chat for a few minutes Bobby takes the Popes hood and flips it over his face and then puts him in a headlock. At which point Rory pulls down his pants.

“WHAT THE FUCK!?” yells Bob Hope’s ghost.

“IN HONOR OF SINEAD!! IN HONOR OF SINEAD!!” yells Rory, dead serious.

“What the Hell!??” yells Bill Gate’s wife.

“SHE DIED! Fighting. LET’S ALL MAKE JOKES!” yells Rory.

“Let him go!!” yells the CIA, rushing over to the Pope.

“You can’t do that to the Pope!!” yells Kevin Spacey, genuinely offended.

Shaken and almost crying, the Pope is held up by two men who escort him away wearing an Illuminati mask around his neck, his hooded open robe, and his briefs. Bewildered he walks off slowly.

Fire for You by Cannons plays.

“He DESERVED IT!!” Bobby yells to China. He laughs.

“He deserved it.” says Bobby to China. He laughs. Tries to find his own ghost if there’s reincarnation in the Bible and speak in Chinese.

Rory laughs.

The other Kennedys look mildly amused and lofty in their collective sense of self.

“We can’t understand it. So you’re not Irish?” says Boeings.

“No. I’m FULLY IRISH.” says Bobby.

And at that he makes out in front of his family with a gay Japanese prostitute. Right near the Pope’s pants.

Rory looks weirded out.

Actually his whole family looks…weirded out.

Suddenly Cheryl stands-up and cheers. “YOU GO!! Damn!!” says Cheryl, dancing in place. She does a dance. Fist pumps. “Yeah!” she yells, grinning. “Go BOBBY!!” She keeps dancing. “SCORE!!!” she yells.

They walk off together.

“That’s MY HUSBAND!!” yells Cheryl. She dances. She keeps dancing.

Everyone watches in awkward awe.

“HE’S MY HUSBAND!!” yells Cheryl.

They all watch.

Suddenly she starts breaking. Her voice waivers. She fights the tears. But she eventually leans forward over a chair and just rests there silently. Everyone is still staring.

“Cheryl. Are you okay!?” yells Jeff Bezos.

Cheryl stands-up and then…just sits down again bizarrely…almost fainting.

“SO! You’re all…morons.” says Boeings to the Kennedys.

“No! Don’t say that!” says Cheryl.

“No. You’re all morons.” says Boeings.

“We are not.” says Ethel.

“No. You’re all morons.” says Boeings.

“How did Saoirse end-up dead? She was stupid.” says a Malaysian company.

“We will destroy you all.” says Boeings.

“Why!?” ask Ethel.

“WHY!??” yells a man.

“Yeah!!! WHY!?” yells Ethel.

“Because…you’re expensive.” says the FBI.

“You’re all washed-up. And you barely can do anything of value to us.” says the Illuminati to the Kennedys.

“That’s fine.

See if I care!

I am…so…confused.” says JFK’s residual energy from 2023, conjured by ten psychics.“

“Jack! You’re confused?” asks a woman.

“Yes!!” says Jack.

All the Kennedys stand in a circle.

An Illuminati witch ties a rope around them Ss they wait for the Buddhist blessing to be completed. (It’s not real. They’re being made fun of.)

And at that Lem and Lacey leave.

Or do they?

“LEM!!” yells Bobby, returning. “I am A MAN!!!”

The Japanese prostitute nods and smiles politely.

“I become a man tonight!!” yells Bobby.

Lem is in silence.

“Lem! I become a man!!!” yells Bobby again.

“Oh!?” says Lem.

“Yeah! I become a man!!!” yells Bobby. “I made love.”

The Japanese man looks scared but maintains his professional attitude at the same time.

“That’s a prostitute, Bobby.” says Bill Gates.

“No. See…I was talking to Hong Taiji…and he said. ‘Bobby go with your heart.’ So I did.” says Bobby.

The Japanese prostitute has his pimp give Bobby a tranquilizer after Bobby decides to start trying to…essentially be his real lover.

“You’re not my real lover.” says the man, condescendingly.

Bobby has to be rendered unconscious.

“What do I do!??” yells the prostitute in a panic. “Is she still writing!??”

“It’s fine!!!” yells Malaysia.

And at that…Bobby is walked out on a stretcher with Cheryl following him. “HONG TAIJI!!!” yells Cheryl, very drunk.

The Japanese prostitute did shots with Cheryl before they just left.

And that…is the current state…of the Kennedys.

They are…a demoralizing, disgusting joke. There’s nothing good about them at all. The entire thing is a tragedy and makes Lacey wonder why God created humanity at all. Sincerely.

“Thanks!” says Joe Kennedy Junior to Lacey, sincerely.

“No. I’m being sincere.” says Lacey.

“I know you loved me.” says Joe.

“Joe you have no right to talk to me. But yes, I did. I loved- Actually…no. I didn’t.

You aren’t real. You’re a worthless piece of fucking shit. Right? I mean isn’t your family the worst thing to ever happen in all of eternity?” says Lacey.

“Are you being serious?” asks Winston Churchill.

“Do I seem serious to you?” asks Lacey.

“Yes.” he says.

“I am. I am being serious.” says Lacey.

“But you’re so cheerful.” says Joe.

“Oh shut-up! You know you’re a leech.” says Lacey to Joe, in the same cheerful way.

“Why aren’t you more upset?” asks a dead Kennedy.

“Why would I be!?” asks Lacey. “I’m just possibly mad that God created you.”

They all are hopefully escorted away.

“No. We were soulmates!” says Joe to Lacey.

“Then what’s a soulmate!? You’re NOTHING!” says Lacey. “You’re the nightmare from Hell nobody deserves.”

“No. I was really your soulmate!” says Joe.

“How!? You’re WORTHLESS! I’m not worthless.” says Lacey matter-of-factly.

“No. I’m not actually that bad of a person.” says Joe.

“Well. Alright.” says Lacey sensing it could be true. “Look…I don’t like you. I really don’t. I’d take great pleasure in torturing you to death slowly. I’d like to rip off your head slowly.

But what’s my opinion anyway? Right?

What’s my heart? You never gave a damn anyway! What the fuck do you care?” asks Lacey.

“No. I did.” says Joe.

“Hmm.

That’s not really what I experienced.

Honestly…from my experience I genuinely wonder why God created humanity based on you and your family. You’ve made humans seem worthless to me. Other than my kids. And maybe all kids. And…the British. Hopefully others? But I genuinely can’t stand you and your family.” says Lacey.

“No. I was in love with you.” he says.

She rolls her eyes. Sighs in exasperation.

“Well that’s too bad. I wish I’d never met you until Heaven. How about that?” says Lacey nicely.

“Why did we make humans seem worthless?” asks Joe.

“You’re all way too into me. But you’re all also sadistic demons.” says Lacey. “And then you kidnapped my twin flame, brainwashed him and tortured me with cruel, profoundly evil images, twisted his words, and destroyed my children’s lives in many ways. You’ve destroyed America.

You’ve destroyed America.

Really…why would I need to go on?” says Lacey.

“I cheated on you…to feel less insecure. Your beauty made me feel insecure.” says Joe.

“But why!? You’re so handsome!” says Lacey.

And at that he weeps.

“Oh stop. For now.

Just answer the question.” says Lacey.

“You’re that pretty.” says Joe.

“Huh.

Why the hell did you assume I’d have a clue what you’re talking about?!” says Lacey.

Joe laughs.

Lacey laughs.

“I really don’t.” says Lacey. “It’s sad. I have no idea why you assumed I’d be…aware.

Because in order for loving me to be worth it…you’d have had to…assume I knew why you were cheating. And being an ass in general.

I had no idea. Not in that way. I assumed some medical issue for why you kept sleeping around. But that’s…not a psychological equation I have any understanding of.” says Lacey.

“I assumed you…were messed-up.” says Joe.

“I was never loved.

That’s not messed-up.

No. And I find you idiotic.

Honestly. You repulse me.

But Joe…I don’t understand. So…you’ll have to sort that out with God if you’re not in Hell.” says Lacey.

“I was in love with you!” says Joe.

“I didn’t know that.” says Lacey.

“But you did.” says Joe.

“In a mediocre, nonsensical, shallow way.” says Lacey.

“So it was a concept?” says Joe.

“More than that. But mostly just a concept.” says Lacey.

“Because I’m a ghost.” says Joe.

“Yes. And…a cheater.” says Lacey. “And a possible faux snob.”

He weeps.

“God. Please take him away.” says Lacey. “I’m not a worthless piece of shit. I shouldn’t have to comfort him after all of this. I don’t think anyway. Please!!!”

The Moment by Tame Impala plays.

And at that Becca Fuester appears from the ceiling as a ghost from the future in the middle of the Kennedy’s rope circle. She appears as if she’s being lowered by an invisible string in a Christmas Pageant. She stands there.

They all regard her with awe.

This part of the Illuminati is fascinating to those involved.

“I bestow upon you three wishes.

A wish to be free.

A wish to be good.

And a wish to be powerful.

Choose wisely.” and at that she hands them cue cards with the three wishes written on them.

They examine them like they’re on reality show.

“Do not speak. …Forever hold your peace. Reply to God via text message from your iPhones. The text is free.” she says before being pulled up by invisible strings.

“No. Not everyone is bisexual.” says God.