(May 25th, 2024)
Lacey does look a lot like Tommy Banks. It’s possible he was and is her biological father. And if that’s true, he was a bootlegger. He made around $1 million a year (in today’s money) as a bootlegger. He was a rather wealthy bootlegger. With a grand total of about $18 million possibly by the 1930’s.
The Kennedys were wealthy from bootlegging likely too. In all actuality…they may have even been interconnected. Through “Chicago” and “New York.” Tom was probably worth $50 million to $100 million at his height. Which isn’t billions. But…given his authority in Minnesota, especially in the 1930’s and 40’s and possibly even 1950’s…it’s very possible, again, that they knew him.
Jack and Lacey sit outside together. On a hot day in the 1930’s. Waiting. For their fathers. It’s dreary, it’s dull. No one wants to play with either of them. Jack because he’s an asshole and gay and Lacey because she’s so sweet and serious and intelligent and she notices everything. And so she sits with Jack and they are…bored.
Does he come on to her?!? NO! Not if he had had to meet her alive at the same time in person. Why? Because she KNOWS. She KNOWS…he’s GAY. He can’t fool her. Somehow she knows too much. She knows he’s attracted to girls…(Lacey Banks and Jack Kennedy are the same age) but…not enough for her liking in his case, and she’s not interested.
Do they talk? No. Why? Because they know better. It’s not that they can’t stand each other, necessarily. He might not be able to stand her…but she also isn’t mean and catty and snobby like most other girls. And in his most desperate moments he begrudgingly appreciates it.
So…he sighs. Rests his head on his hand.
“Geez! It’s like being in church.” he says to her finally.
“Sitting here with me!??” she says.
“Yeah!” he says to her like she’s dumb, but he doesn’t necessarily care. Sincerely.
“I’m sorry.” she says.
“Yeah? You get bored in church too?” he says.
“It’s just sad. It feels like someone is always dying. …And I don’t think I’m just thinking of the cross.” says Lacey.
He thinks. “Yeah! Say! Lots of people are dying! EVERYWHERE.” he says.
“I suppose as Americans we’re supposed to fix that.” says Lacey.
He smirks. “Yeah. That’s the kind of racket they have us up to. For sure. …Yeah. But then I think of the dying soldiers and I feel kinda bad about that and well…maybe it ain’t so bad to care.” he says seriously.
“I’m going to France. And studying art. When I grow-up. I’m not going to be controlled.” says Lacey.
“I’m better than those fucking artists!” says JFK.
Lacey thinks. “Good fucking luck.” she says finally.
“My dad could shoot your dad.” says JFK.
“Let him! You stupid Irish bastards.” says Lacey. “You think talking like that is smart? You’re a two cent dumbass.”
He cries.
“Oh stop crying. I don’t believe those cheap theatrical tears for a second.” says Lacey.
Jack stops and laughs at her.
“What!? I didn’t fall for it!
You wanna fight? Is it that easy for you? Wow! You’re cheap.” says Lacey.
“We are.” he says.
She just looks at him.
They sit there in silence.
“Say! You’re kinda pretty. …Girls aren’t like you. What’s wrong with you?” he says.
“Why are you making fun of me?” she says.
His face drops.
“I’m not falling for it, Jack Kennedy! You hate girls! …What a line! You think I’m dumb!?” she says.
“I was just testing.” he says.
“No. You know I kissed face with Elliott Roosevelt last summer in New York. News travels fast.
…
And I know you kissed face with Johnny.” says Lacey.
Jack laughs.
“Yeah. You think you’re real smart. But let me tell you! NEWS TRAVELS FAST!” says Lacey.
Jack Kennedy looks flummoxed. Almost nauseated. His heart beats fast.
“What!? It’s news to you!? …And here it was your face. …You’d think you weren’t there at all.” says Lacey.
“Oh SHUT-UP!” he yells.
She looks sad now. “Elliott doesn’t love me at all!” she says, sounding offended.
“Well fuck!” says JFK, sounding upset. “What do you expect me to do about it?”
“Nothing. I’m just sad.” says Lacey.
JFK looks thoughtful.
A maid walks by.
“How are you two kids doing?” she asks.
“Can we get a drink!? I’ll have a rum and she’ll have a gin drink. Over ice. And make it fast!” he says.
“You expect me to invent drinks for you?” she says.
“Oh come on. You can get us some liquor.” he says.
“I’ll bring you both iced tea.” she says very seriously.
“With lemon!” says Lacey, smiling.
“Thanks a lot pea brain! I hate iced tea.” says JFK.
“You’ll get over it.” says Lacey.
They sit in silence now.
“It’s better with sugar and lemon. Just try it and stop being so annoying.” says Lacey, as the drinks arrive.
He tries adding a bit more sugar and lemon.
“There are men who would never want you. And they’d want me!” says JFK, suddenly.
“My father would never sleep with you.” says Lacey. “But I know your father would sleep with me.”
“So you’re right, huh!? Okay! Well let me give you a piece of information. Hot off the press! …If my father slept with you…you’d regret it. He wouldn’t.” says JFK.
“Oh! Because I’d get pregnant with a baby like you?” says Lacey.
“No!! …Because he’d break your fucking heart.” says JFK, looking hurt.
“I’d never let him. I’m not fool. I know your father doesn’t give a shit about women.” says Lacey.
“That’s a mean thing to say about my dad!” says JFK.
“No. It’s the truth. …Your family stinks to high Heaven.” says Lacey.
“Wait until I tell my mom what you told me.” says JFK.
“I dare you to tell her! She’ll be toast. …I have lots of tongues. You have none. Because nobody trusts you really Jack Kennedy. Deep down we all suspect you’re a- A- A…sellout.” says Lacey.
“Sell out?” says Jack.
“Yeah! You sold out. You’re liquidated. To Satan.” says Lacey. “You can’t even give a real damn about yourself, you louse.”
Jack thinks. Decides to ignore her.
“Drink your iced tea. It’s bitter. And cold. Just like you.” says Lacey.
He drinks it. They sit there.
But as this never happened…Lem shows up.
“Hey ya!” says Lem.
“Hey ya!” says Jack, flirting as if he’s already won.
“Oh no! This can’t be right.” says Lacey, extremely disturbed. She turns around and looks at Lem. “No! You’re straight!” she says.
“Straight!? Whatever. There’s no such thing!” says JFK.
“That’s bullshit! I’m straight.” says Lacey. “Lots of people are!”
Jack actually does look disturbed for a moment.
“It’s easy! He ain’t sucking cock. He’s a- A bloody prostitute.” says Lacey.
Jack looks at her. Furrows his brow.
“You THINK MY DAD IS A PROSTITUTE!!!” yells JFK at Lacey.
“Yes. He is.” says Lacey.
Later.
“You think you can have whatever you want!” a man yells at JFK.
“You can!” he chooses to lie to himself.
“NO YOU CAN’T!” yells the man.
Later.
“You can’t have your dad and Elliott and Lem and everyone! That’s INSANE!” yells the man at JFK.
“I can have ANYONE! AND EVERYONE! I’M JFK! Fuck you!!!” yells JFK, sincerely from 2023 in December.
“Oh my God that’s dumb! Boo! Fucker!” yells a man.
“QUIET!! QUIET!!” yells JFK.
“BOO!!” yells the man.
JFK tries crying again.
And enabled by his family he’d go on and on and on and on and on…but God chooses for everyone’s safety to make him cease to exist just after he causes an earthquake in Japan. Why? Because the Japanese are nice to him.
“I can’t actually have loved him. I really was cringing in every photo of Jack and I in the snow at Choate. That was very weird to me but I tried to make it seem fun to adjust.” says Lem.
Later.
“You didn’t love me!?” yells JFK at Lem.
“Yah! That’s just not allowed.” says the dumb, new money, bourgeois, possibly generational wealth but mostly bourgeois Illuminati.
“See! THEY KNOW!!” yells JFK. “THAT IS THE VOICE OF JESUS! HE IS WEARING FLOWERS!! AT THE MET GALA!” yells JFK.
Later.
“There is no way I could have gotten over Jack and smiled for his wedding the way I did. It’s impossible. And there’s no way I could have been that happy and ever have been attracted to him at all. That’s just not how people work. But Lacey doesn’t know that. And just like Jack refuses to believe I wasn’t gay…he also refused to believe Lacey doesn’t understand that about other humans anymore other than her and her kids and legal husband.
And there’s no way I could have gotten over him if that was even possible and smiled that much at his wedding and then fallen back in love with him almost…at all. If at all. …And again, she knows that about herself but she doesn’t know that about other people anymore if she ever did.” says Lem.
Ghosts by Thomas Newman plays.
“She should have been raised by me.” says Thomas Banks. “Paul Newman did a good impersonation of me in Road To Perdition. …I wasn’t…a simple person.”
“Who’s your son?” asks the FBI.
“Ha! Who does he seem like?” asks Thomas Banks.
“Tsar Putin.” says Steven Colbert.
Tom laughs. “Putin isn’t that dumb. It’s Hollywood.” He thinks. “It’s an evil film in a way. It’s incredibly hateful to me. But it’s also very…insightful. The insight being that they have no insight.”
“The music is good! The lighting and actors and cinematography and all that. Well done! But…we aren’t those characters.” says Al Capone. “People weren’t those people. Anywhere! And in a way you can forgive them…because it’s just art. But…there’s something insidious about the whole thing.”
“Yeah. I have to agree.” says JP Kennedy. “It’s…not a farce. It’s…a lie?”
“What’s the lie?” asks Hollywood.
“That…we…didn’t…EXIST.” says Al Capone. “You can’t mess with people’s…personalities in such a careful way. That’s very evil.” says Al Capone.
“They do that to us too.” say Black Americans.
“They like to do that!” says Al Capone.
“That’s one of the most offensive parts of The Crown.” says Queen Elizabeth II. “I’m not who they say I am. And yet they came so close to the truth that I worry it’ll fool some people.”
“Crap.” says MSNBC.
F Major by Hania Rani plays.
“Let’s write a scene.” says India.
“Alright.” says Lacey.
(Adult content below)
Lem and Lacey are both drunk. She’s working as his secretary. In the White House. Some sort of assistant. Hired because she seems safe. And it gives her father certain continuing allowances too with certain people. Although he’d never sacrifice his daughter.
So…Lacey does her job. But it’s only been a week and Lem is hitting on her.
They’re both drunk. It’s the afternoon. In July.
The song plays.
Lem stands there in a suit, laughing. Smoking.
Lacey looks up at him and he looks just as straight and drunk and devious as Connor Rooney. He snickers. He’s drunk.
“Mr. Billings what’s so funny?” asks Lacey.
“You’re not typing.” he says. He takes another drink.
“I am.
I’m just using a bit of White Out.” says Lacey.
“You were hired to save me time.” he spits.
“I’m doing my job.” says Lacey.
“Then stay here. And finish it. Even if it takes all night.” says Lem.
“I’m not staying here alone all night. It’s not safe.” says Lacey. “I’m not an idiot. I know it isn’t safe for me.”
Good Morning, Midnight by Johann Jóhannsson plays.
“Then I’ll just stay with you.” says Lem.
“You’ll get tired.” says Lacey.
“You’re typing up things I’d usually just write down. And it’s preferable. But…I’ll just edit it anyway. Over dinner. We can plan way ahead and gets lots done.” says Lem.
“Alright.” says Lacey.
“Good.” he says. And at that he closes the door to the office. He glares at her. That was actually just his personality coming through. When some man saw him “glaring.” He’s a very serious person. At least at times. But he’s also straight.
She looks up at him. Their eyes meet. He gives her a very specific look women used to know. It’s a look men used to give of, “I’m about to come on to you and you should probably be receptive for your own good.”
The Radiant City plays cutting off the last half of the last song. It’s soon interrupted as well by The Drowned World.
He walks over past her. She feels uneasy.
“Lem…-“ she says. “May I call you that!?”
He ignores her to light another cigarette. She watches him. Then he makes an agitated face, his breathing noticeably quickens and he stares into her eyes before racing over to her picking her up and taking her to a sofa. And once on the sofa…of course he makes love to her. Of course he makes love to Lacey. Of course he makes love to me.
It scares you? You are so fake. With your pornography and your rape and your loose sexuality? Real sex is real. And if it scares you…maybe you’re scared of real sex? Not Real Sex. But…actual intercourse. Actual making love. The real things springs from actual desire and isn’t scripted, even by society. It’s societally scripted until you touch and in consent began to make love into becoming one. Hindus still know something about it. Muslims still may believe in it. When did Christians become such…asexual…scared…trolls? In the 1800’s they still knew what intercourse was in Christianity. And I’m a Christian saying that, so to speak.
“Lacey how much are you like Lane Pryce’s wife in Mad Men?” asks the CIA.
“She is my wife in Mad Men, in many ways…” says Lane Pryce. “They’re not duplicates. At all. But they’re alike.”
“Lacey…no one can be that happy at someone’s wedding. If they were attracted to them, even. Could your kids do it?” says Lem.
“No. Because they couldn’t likely engage that intimately if they’d been attracted. Because they’re…deep people. But…I think I could imagine someone who could?” says Lacey.
The Farm by Thomas Newman plays.
“Did Lem just fuck me?” says JFK, out of the blue.
“Does it seem like he did?” asks a psychic.
“No! But I read on this blog that he just fucked Lacey. So…I have to assume he has…somehow…fucked me too. Right? …I just don’t understand how. Like…HOW!? Because I didn’t feel it.” says JFK.
“He didn’t fuck you!” yells a living gay man.
“Oh really!??” says JFK in 2023.
“Jack…how old are you stuck at?” asks a living gay man.
“25.” says JFK. “Ish.”
“In what year?” asks a living gay man.
“2015? 2013?
I harassed Lacey Banks too much. So…when she was- When Scott started talking to her… Scott Fitzgerald, the author. F. Scott Fitzgerald? I was forced to take the hit.” says JFK.
“Are you covering for Lem?” asks a reader.
“No!” says JFK.
“Jack…why 2013?” says a reader.
Kick In The Door by The Notorious B. I. G. plays.
“Oh! Oh! …Because that’s when F. Scott Fitzgerald’s Baz Luhrman treatment came out.” says JFK.
“And that was a- What was that?” asks Bobby.
“That’s when Scott pulled the cord.” says Jack. “So to speak.” He thinks. “She was dying. But she had a son. …And so…she had to live.”
“So she could have died!??” says Casi.
“Yes. She could have. But we didn’t have a choice.” says Biggie. “My music is her friend. It sounds like her soul. But Black. And less saved. And I’m male. And she’s not evil…and I’m like her father…but I’m her age and I’m not her father. And I’m…a rare genius.”
“It’s vile in certain verses…but I always hear the Holy Spirit when I listen.” says Lacey.
“I love his music too!” says Scott Fitzgerald.
“Do you Mahalia Jackson, Lacey?” asks the CIA.
Trouble of the World as performed by Mahalia Jackson plays.
“She has talent. …But no. I can’t stand her musically.” says Lacey.
New York (Live) as performed by Mahalia Jackson plays.
“She’s very good!” says Lacey.
“Who do you prefer?” asks the CIA.
“As a female vocalist?” asks Lacey.
Me and Bobby McGee as performed by Janis Joplin plays.
“I prefer Janis Joplin. Her voice is rare.” says Lacey.
“It’s vile.” says the CIA.
“Yes. But she’s honest.” says Lacey. “Or she’s an honest liar.”
“Do you prefer Bing Crosby of Frank Sinatra?” asks the CIA.
“Bing Crosby.” says Lacey.
“Do you like Frank Sinatra?” asks the CIA.
“No.” says Lacey. “I mean who doesn’t like Frank Sinatra somewhat. He’s brilliant. But no.”
“Who would have played for you? Frank or Bing Crosby?” asks the CIA.
Piece of My Heart by Janis Joplin plays.
“Frank Sinatra. That’s what’s appropriate.” says Lacey.
IRM by Charlotte Gainsbourg plays.
“This is good too. I owned this CD.” says Lacey.
“This is so much more Rebecca Pryce.” says the CIA.
“Rebecca is a creepy as fuck choice.” says Matthew Weiner, about his own art.
“Could her name have been Charlotte?” asks Jane Birkin.
Time of the Assassins by Charlotte Gainsbourg plays.
“Yes.” says Matthew Weiner.
“She’s been trying to close the chapter on me. For decades.” says Lem.
“Okay. But that’s not my father. So…” says Caroline Kennedy, in haughty irritation.
“Oh! Because Lem is straight. …Like me.” says Bill Gates. “Yeah. I’m straight too! Did you know that? Bobby is constantly coming on to me at Illuminati meetings.
No. No, Bobby I don’t want butt sex.
No, Bobby I don’t oral sex.
No, Bobby…I don’t want…to mutually ‘see what happens.’” says Bill Gates in irritation.
“Not on a hill. Not in a boat? Not on a tight rope?” says Bobby Kennedy Junior, laughing. “Come on. Thou doest protest too much!”
Greenwhich Mean Time by Charlotte Gainsbourg plays as Lacey asks God if she should stab Him to death?
“I love this song. It’s about oral sex with me and LEMMERS!” says Jack, laughing.
“No. It’s not Jack.” says Harvard.
“SHUT-UP!” he says in a faux British accent playing air guitar.
“It’s about her house. And her family. Being stuck here. Thanks to evil.” says John Lennon.
Jack can’t cognitively comprehend it anymore. He’s been too dumbed down. And he’s dead.
“What do you all do to him that he doesn’t know how to resist?” asks Lacey.
“We constantly conjure him.” says a psychic.
“Oh. Right.
But what are you DOING!???” yells Lacey, losing her temper with their incessant stupidity.
Matthew Nesheim claps (patronizingly) for JFK as Jack Kennedy finishes his second air guitar solo.
“In all honesty…they’ve thought I was JFK reincarnated too.” says Taylor Swift to Lacey.
“Whether that’s literally true or not…it’s true. They would. He’s so fucking POPULAR. WHY!?!” says Lacey. “He’s an annoying, imbecilic twat.”
“We hated him until he was famous.” says Choate. “Lem helped. But no more than anyone else he was friends with.”
“So do we like real old money?” India asks America.
“You are Rebecca Pryce.
As a character.
But…you adore him. So you’re also very different.
What else do you like?” asks Casi.
“This isn’t you.” says Lacey.
“Can you please explain to Bobby that I don’t like him like that.” says Bill Gates suddenly to Lacey.
“Bobby…Billy doesn’t fancy you. Get a fucking grip.” says Lacey.
“I killed him.” says Bobby eating drug mushrooms.
“Who?” asks Ethel.
“I did mushrooms.” says Bobby.
“Again?” says Ethel.
“Yup.” says Bobby.
“Who? Who did you kill, Princess Flower E85?” she asks him, as that what he likes to be called when he’s high on mushrooms. He claims to recall everything. And gets offended.
“I killed the happy man. In California.” says Bobby.
“Who’s the Happy Man?” asks Ethel.
“He likes COFFEE!” says Bobby, giggling. “In CoFFEE SHOPSS.” he says.
“Where?” asks Ethel.
“CALIFORNIA BABY!!!” yells Bobby, suddenly dancing.
“How did you kill him?” asks Ethel.
“I might have written this song.” says Zelda Fitzgerald, listening to Greenwhich Mean Time.
“Drugs. An overdose.” says Bobby.
“How!?” says Ethel.
“In water.” says Bobby. “I throw them in. Like clams.“
“Lacey as much as telepathy is your television and party line. Can you please answer my question?” says Casi.
“No. You’re just trying to copy me.” says Lacey.
“Lacey. Explain something to me.
How –
Keen to Cross the Pond 