America twerks.
“Why are we not American?” asks Jackie B.
Hypnotize by The Notorious B. I. G. plays.
“This country makes no sense.” says Biggie to Lacey.
“Not really.” says Lacey.
Better Is One Day / Facedown by Matt Redman plays.
Jonah Wiley faints for Jesus. “Poopycaca.” says Jonah Wiley on Instagram to recall the event.
“Poopycaca?!?” asks a cancer patient.
“Yeah. It’s like…holy shit!” says Jonah.
“Shit?” says the cancer patient.
A group of living gay men laugh.
“Have you ever ‘danced in the spirit’ to Matt Redman?” Lacey asks Jonah.
“You’re too smart for the US.” says Ruth.
“Ruth!! How much could Jim spend on a bag for you?” asks the Illuminati.
“$10,000.00.” says Ruth.
“Then why do call that $50 bag your Baby?” asks the Illuminati.
“I like it.” says Ruth.
“And you might save your own money.” says a reader.
“Yeah! We only have about $1.5 million. And we’re in our 70’s. But…it scares me now.” says Ruth.
Agnus Dei / King Of Kings by Passion plays.
“This is a good song.” says Lacey. “He is a worthy lamb.”
“I knew she’d like this one.” says Ruth.
“It’s a bad rendition of it. But it’s a good song.” says Lacey. “As far as contemporary songs go.”
“Ruth that’s $150,000 every year. If you love to be $83.” says the Illuminati.
“Yup. And then one of my nieces or nephews will get the money. Not Lacey. And the mineral rights too.” says Ruth.
“But the Illuminati set up your marriage to cheat me out of 1.5 million. And the mineral rights.” says Lacey.
“So Ruth it’s going to be legally yours. But spiritually, so to speak, it’s hers.” says the Illuminati. “We can’t alter that.”
“It would be deadly for them to.” says Michael Rockefeller.
“I was posturing to be a cruel stepmother.” says Ruth.
“Darn!” says Lacey.
Worthy Of My Wonder by Nate Meyst plays.
“Poopycaca!” says Lacey mockingly.
“We are made in HIS IMAGE!? A hot Jew!? Bro damn! Wow!! Total win!” says Lacey, mockingly. “Now the question is…do you fuck or not?”
“What kind of God is this?” says Dr. Bartolotta. “What kind of love is this? And he died JUST TO KNOW YOU!??”
“And then we get to see Him for ETERNITY!?” says Lacey. “WOW!!”
Jeff Bezos laughs.
“But do the Poopycaca dicks offer Jesus:
Endless praise? I mean…ENDLESS PRAISE. Wow!!! …I’m straight. And that’s how I love Lem. But…for a man? What would Jesus prefer?” jokes Lacey.
Gold Digger by Kanye West plays.
“Nah. He gonna be hooked-up with another deity.” says Africa.
“How!??” says Lacey.
“NO!!!” yells Jeff Bezos.
“I agree with Jeff.” says Jesus.
“Yeah. So who is she?” asks Africa.
Jesus smiles. “When the time is right. Actually…we might already be together. But I’m deity. So it’s complicated.”
“So you’re married? But you’re going to be even happier?” says Lacey.
“Possible.” says Jesus.
“That’s lovely.” says Lacey. “Why didn’t you just explain that to me sooner? They’ve been cruel.”
“My voice is being silenced on Earth.” says Jesus.
“Thanks to the Kennedys in my life.” says Lacey.
Silence.
“Yes. We are quite happy.” says Jesus.
“I’m furious.” says Lacey.
“Yes. I just seem catty.” says Jesus. “Not that you’re jealous. You just feel bullied. By me.”
“Yes! It’s like you were trying to mock me. For being alive. Or existing at all.” says Lacey.
“This IS OUR TIME!!” yells JFK in 1960. He read this moment wrong and assumed it was a moment of glory for his family and they’d be able to be as impressive as God practically.
Disco Inferno by 50 Cent plays as JFK does the Poopycaca. No. Lem did not do the Poopycaca.
Ten Millennial men in tight jeans to the Poopycaca.
Jack stares at them offended.
They’re stealing his moves.
“Jack you liked both women and men?” asks the Illuminati.
“NO! WOMEN!” yells JFK.
“Us too.” says the tight skinny jeans Millennial men.
Jack, still offended but slightly over it, does the Poopycaca with them, begrudgingly.
Judith Exner joins them. In her spirit in 1960. She dances. They all giggle with her. She seems to be very popular with that crowd. Jack is impressed.
“JUDITH YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON!” yells JFK. “NO MOVIES!” he yells to some man somewhere.
“Anyway…yes. You seem like a jerk.” says Lacey to Jesus.
O mio babbino caro by Puccini plays.
“I’m really not!” says Jesus.
“I suspected as much.
I mean you simply can’t be.
But it does seem like it.” says Lacey.
“No!! Our personalities make sense together.” says Jesus to Lacey.
Dr. Moritz sinks in his seat.
Lacey smiles. “But you’re Jesus.” says Lacey.
“YES!” says Jesus.
“It isn’t the play. The play being reality.” says Lacey.
“Yes. It’s not the thing.” says Jesus.
“Are you offended by that? Hurt?” says Lacey.
“No!!” says Jesus.
“Are you sure?” says Lacey, with concern.
“YES!” says Jesus.
Puccini’s “Santa ampolle…Recondita armonia” plays.
“Oh goody. I liked you as Jesus.” says Lacey. “I mean you ARE Jesus.”
“YES!” says Jesus.
“Oh how exciting for you.” says Lacey.
“Yes!” says Jesus.
“I’m sorry we all murdered you in a way. But at the same time…it seems you felt it was inevitable.” says Lacey. “I hope I have that story right.”
“Well…not inevitable. But it became apparent.” says Jesus.
“Darn.
Well…you were glorious of course.” says Lacey. “Brilliant as yourself.”
“Yes. I did rather well.” says Jesus.
“Could you really have done better? I know you were perfect. But could you have done better?” asks Lacey.
“Well…was I perfect looking?” asks Jesus.
“I don’t know.” says Lacey.
“What if I wasn’t?” says Jesus.
“Yes. See…those parameters have always fascinated me.” says Lacey.
Tre sbirri, una carrozza by Puccini plays.
“Jesus seems fascinating.” says Daniel Bronson. “I think I’d like to chat His ear off too.”
“I’m quite sure He understands. HE’S JESUS.” says Lacey.
Vissi d’arte, vissi d’amore by Puccini plays.
“This is one of the best songs ever written!!” says Lacey.
“Yes! You do love Puccini.” says an opera buff.
“LISTEN. It is.” says Lacey.
“Why?” asks the opera buff.
“It’s EVERYTHING.” says Lacey.
“And it’s said in love.” says Puccini.
“In a fallen world.” says Lacey.
“Lacey have you and Lem made love in the last 24 hours?” asks Jesus.
“Yes! Three times.” says Lacey.
“At least.” says Lem. “But it wasn’t as good as it could have been.”
“Will that improve?” asks Lacey of Jesus.
Act III: E lucevan le stelle by Puccini plays.
“Yes!” says Jesus.
“Good.” says Lacey.
“You know people keep saying you’re hurt and I’m hurt…that we’re not an item.” says Jesus to Lacey.
“It’s scary.” says Lacey.
“Do you see us together? Really?” says Jesus.
She takes a deep breath. Thinks. “I do like your personality. And you are handsome.
But…not necessarily.” says Lacey.
“True!” says Jesus.
“It’s so damn confusing. I’m sorry for swearing if it’s swearing.” says Lacey.
“No, you’re like a sister.” says Jesus.
“Yes. That’s what I thought.” says Lacey.
“THAT’S HERESY!!” yells a strong religious spirit that works with Christian charismatics to attack other Christians and people outside their parameters everywhere.
“Why is it heresy?” asks Lacey.
The spirit looks upset but refuses to give a response.
“I’ve avoided you.” says the spirit to Lacey, even through it’s attacked her.
“Why!?” says Jesus.
“Because. I annoy her. And…well…I’m why she’s been tortured.” says the spirit.
“You’re just Satan?” says Lacey.
“Yes.” says the spirit pretending to be Jezebel.
“Of course.” says Lacey. “Well that’s good anyway.”
“So Jezebel is just Satan?” asks a Christian.
“I don’t think Jezebel necessarily is that powerful. She could be. But I have a feeling she’s mostly just Satan trying to manifest as a woman.
Saucy Satana plays. “Gold Digger.”
“So if there’s a real Jezebel it’s possibly just Purgatory. Otherwise it’s probably hicks being tricked by Satan.” says Lacey.
“You are Jezebel!!” yells Ruth at Lacey.
“No. I’m a pedophile!” yells Jim at Ruth. “She’s never actually come on to me at all. Actually I almost killed her once for resisting me. When she was three.”
“Yes.” says Lacey. “It’s pedophilia Ruth. Get a fucking grip.”
“So you ain’t after my man?” says Ruth suspiciously.
“NO! You stole her $1.5 million because I’m sociopathic.” says Jim to Ruth, annoyed.
“So she’s just your legal daughter.” says Ruth.
“YES!! I kinda got a soft spot for her. I’m not completely devoid of human emotion.” says Jim.
“Yes you are!!” yells Ruth at Jim.
“No. I’m not. I’m gay. Well…mostly. And you’re ugly with white trash manners.” says Jim.
“He’s sociopathic, Ruth.” says Lacey.
“I wrote you a letter and warned you.” says Becca, the mother who raised Lacey.
“I ignored you. Because you left Jim to try to fuck Lacey.” says Ruth.
“She’s not fucking either of us. I’m not that backward, Ruth. I humor myself…but I’m educated and well bred enough to know it’s actually crazy. Insane.
You don’t seem to understand that. And it’s gross.
It’s not disrespectful to me. Kids never really want sex with adults. They’re not sexual in that way. That’s scientifically impossible.
So…no. She’s just better than you. And so am I. But we’ve never been together. And…no. I never made it overtly sexual physically. Jim did. But she fought him off.
Why are you so sure Jim is secretly cheating with Lacey?” asks Becca.
“Because he’s nice to me.
But you and Lacey get annoyed.
Like I’m a weird white trash freak.
Once Lacey pinned me down and tweezed my eyebrows.” says Ruth.
“I didn’t literally pin you down.” says Lacey. “I begged you more or less to sit down and let me tweeze your eyebrows.”
“I sat on your bed.” says Ruth.
“I didn’t care. You needed your eyebrows tweezed.” says Lacey.
“Ruth. How bad are your eyebrows?” asks Chris Hayes.
“THEY WERE GROSS.” says Lacey.
“They look worse in person.” admits Jim. “She has little long stray hairs everywhere.”
“She’s ugly.” says a top modeling agency. “And no, we don’t mean Lacey.”
“I don’t care.” says Ruth.
“You have antisocial personality disorder?” says the CIA to Ruth.
“Maybe.” she says laughing.
“Jim. She tricked you too.” says the CIA.
“I’m not capable of being tricked.” says Jim.
Mike Craft covers his mouth with both of his hands.
“What will you all do with her? If the world doesn’t transition away from oil?” asks Lacey to the Crafts.
“Or her nieces and nephews?” asks Lacey.
“Yeah.” says Mike.
“I’ve already refused to see them.” says Karen.
“But I’m tired of lawyers. And suicides.” says Lacey to the Crafts.
They laugh.
“Oh no. The Illuminati They have been busy little bees from Hell for decades.” says Mike Craft.
“I agree.” says Dennis of the Nesheims.
“I have legal rights in the Nesheims.” says Lacey.
“We’re not dumb enough to make that mistake.” says Mark Nesheim.
Part 2 “The Sacrifice” from Le sacre du printemps by Igor Stravinsky plays.
The song plays.
“No. You can’t separate.” says Becca.
“It’s unsafe.” says Carole of the Nesheims.
“I don’t hate Lacey. I’m just so SURE she’s after my husband.” says Ruth.
“RUTH! I’m a pedophile. You’re sensing something real. But it’s from me. NOT LACEY.
Why wouldn’t she sleep with her legal husband if she was that…desperate?” says Jim.
Becca cups her hands over her mouth. Laughs at Ruth.
“I’d go back to Becca in a second. We had a lot in common.” says Jim.
“She’s your competition Ruth. Not Lacey.” says Ruth’s brother-in-law.
Ritual of the Ancients plays.
Ruth thinks. “But there’s something there with Lacey. I can feel it. She can’t possibly be that nice. And if she is…why isn’t she in awe of me!??” says Ruth.
“I’ve had the same thought.” says Jill Schiebel.
“So have I.” says Casi.
“So have I!” says Joe Bartolotta.
“Ruth! She’s mad she lost $1.5 million!!” says Jim.
“Who WOULDN’T BE!??” yells Bill Gates.
“It’s not that much. But it’s not nothing.” says Lacey.
“Okay. Well. I need it.” says Ruth. “I’m poor.”
“You STOLE IT.” says Lacey. “FROM ME. And THE CRAFTS. …That’s going to bother me. But…he helped you. So…I’ve let it go.”
“That’s sad.” says Curt.
“You know…all I want are the mineral rights. But…it would have been nice to have the other $1 million. …But the mineral rights are what matter. To me. …But I doubt Jim will arrange that with his lawyer.” says Lacey. “He would be being nice and responsible then and he’s sociopathic.”
“Jim people tease Charles and Camilla and they wonder if Charles is gay because Camilla looks masculine to some degree but she’s also feminine looking and her beauty may be somewhat misunderstood. I wonder though about you are you into Ruth because she is ugly and she looks like a man and you would like to marry some rather cantankerous ditzy British eccentric, possibly say old British man maybe someone a little bit like the late British scientist who was stuck in a chair.” says a woman.
“that’s not ever who I imagined myself with, but I might be copying Lacey’s sense of style just like everyone else does I could see her married to some eccentric old British man and I think maybe I just thought she had a cool sense of style.” says Jim.
“ that is Lacey style. Lem Billings is sort of an eccentric British old man and you are not, correct Jim Craft.“ says the Illuminati.
“ oh that is cracked know I’m hardly an eccentric British old man I might be a tiny bit British from like the 1400s but now I’m mostly just a Viking. I also might not be her birth father and I abused her and I am her legal father and she’s not insane like a bunch of weird pedophiles who have no sense of reality because they’re white trash like Bobby Kennedy in the illuminati.” says Jim
Keen to Cross the Pond 
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