(August 17th, 2024)
I’ll tell you what happened.
Lacey Banks lost her mind. Or there’s a real Illuminati…and they suck shit. …Peter Thiel seems funny. Honestly. I might like him. I can’t stand my younger brother Jack right now. …Yes, I’m a real ghost, even if Lacey lost her mind…slightly. She’s not schizophrenic. She’s way way too lonely. And maybe she didn’t lose her mind at all…
What specifically happened?
My family and a lot of evil people both dead and alive attacked her a bit too much. Isolated her. Cloistered her off into oblivion in her life, in the fallen world, out of hatred. …I hate her and hated her…but I was also deeply in love with her and still am. Although I’m getting over it.
Is Lacey unusually perfect…sexy…and beautiful? Yes. Is Lacey unusually intelligent? Yes. Kind? Yes. And, to be honest…that’s a large part of the reason why I fell in love with her. She is all those things…but her eyes are brown. She’s tenderhearted. She’s…sad. Yes…I loved her sadness. Why? Because I understand it. I was always a secretly sad person myself. …But she’s a lady. Good. Decent. Hardworking. …She’s not Norma Jean. She’s Marilyn Monroe…naturally. But…also…like a nun. …So all the sexiness…but it’s real…and…she’s…very good. Truly good. …So…she’s been made fun of. Because she’s so prim and decent, even though underneath that she’s…not like that. And no…I don’t mean underneath she’s a bad person. She’s just a lot less uptight than you think.
…Yes, we cloistered her off. But she always had me. And I felt love for her and she felt love for me. …It fell apart when she got older and became too depressed…and…I think…somehow Pat Wilson’s death mattered too. Lacey is hotter than Pat. I’m sorry…it’s just true. But that’s not what makes us truly love someone. And I loved Pat and still do.
What to do then? Well…I don’t know.
See…if there’s an Illuminati they really are a problem. They really don’t leave her alone. …And how did they come to this? Well…she discovered them. Accidentally. …Her brain hears the dead really easily.
Just the other night we told her her wallpaper was in Carlisle, Pennsylvania. And then last night she found out later it was. It shocked her. She clearly heard a woman say, “Made it to Carlisle!” And then she found out it was in Carlisle later. I’m telling you. That actually happened. That’s weird. Right? …Except it’s not. Because that’s what her whole life has been like with us. She’s just not always had proof like last night.
Anyway…she really just overheard them talking, in a way. Lonely…she picked up on Chris Hayes channeling Michael…didn’t know what she was drawn to…and then overheard them. What are they? People and people channeling things. Demons. Dead people. Dead energy. Stuff like that.
They’re not harmless. But they are…boring. I mean I find them boring. Maybe you might not. And fair enough. But…the Irish channeled the dead for centuries. And we did it far more spectacularly. And openly. …I’m not sure why they think they’re so special. …If they were also all rich or elite people I don’t think we’d take them seriously as more than a sort of supernatural terrorist organization. They have secrets, if they exist, but that’s about all they have that’s important beyond their wealth and power outside of the Illuminati. …Yes, if the Illuminati exists they repress information that could be used by covens practicing in someone’s garage in New Jersey. How to conjure dead people. How to…talk “telepathically.” Stuff like that. …Like really conjure dead people. …Manifest hurricanes. Stuff like that.
And before you start hating the rich…be aware that…they’re people. So…some are bad and some aren’t. …The good people in the Illuminati are often there because they were forced into it. Be mindful of that in your judgements…should they exist.
…Why isn’t Lacey more angry at me? …Sigh. She really was in love with me and she knows me. I’m…kind of a loser sometimes. Okay? I go along with people who I shouldn’t go along with. I went along with my brother and my family and got roped into attacking her. But…Jack ignored that we were really in love. Unlike him and Lem. …I think maybe he thought it was like him and Lem. But I’m not him and she’s not Lem in that way. So…it was possible. I’m more like my dad maybe…and Lacey chose me over my father when she was young. Nothing happened between them until I betrayed her decades later. And I think she’d rather forget the whole thing now. …So even if she was my father’s soulmate…and didn’t know that…I was with her until fairly recently.
Yes. It’s evil on our part. But…it’s also stupid. (I’m laughing. I’m sorry.) …Jack…didn’t seem to know…that Lacey could really fall in love with me and me with her. And I think he thought my father was too…lost or something…to love her at all too. He’s really an idiot. …I know you all love him. And that’s something I can empathize with. And Bobby too. And I can understand that too. …But…Bobby is a perpetually stressed-out, overtaxed…tired…clinically depressed…sometimes jackass…not just the hero you make him out to be. A real ass. Really. I’ve had to fight him physically at times. …Even though I love him. …And Jack is…a sad, malignant idiot…at his worst. We seem charming. But don’t be fooled. We can be. Or were. But…we’re not the superheroes you’ve made us out to be. I’m sorry.
I’m not saying we never did anything worthwhile. Or made any contributions to society. But…it’s not the way you have it. And it scares me how much people think otherwise and have for a long time.
And yes. I’m scared for a reason. Look at this blog. What if it’s real? As in…I’m Joe…there’s an Illuminati and they really are obsessed with her? This is exactly the sort of shit that was bound to happen because people couldn’t…understand the nuanced nature of our souls. Not that it’s at all those people’s faults necessarily. No. I’m not saying that. …It’s just that they did do it. It was their perspective that made this happen.
Look…her and Lem belong together. And what if I knew that? The whole time. …The part of me you loved, whether you knew it or not, is that I fell genuinely in love with her knowing I’d probably lose her eventually. Just to shield her from Jack. Because he fell for it. And I knew he would. …I’d do that. And that’s why you love us. We’re like that. …Why should you be hesitant? …I truly hurt her and I’m still not over it. I hurt myself too. …So on the one hand I’m a hero…in a way…and yet on the other hand I’m a dastardly person. …I could have just let Louis or Harold have her until Lem could say something. Or Elliott. Or Michael. But no. I chose to get hurt and hurt her for the sake of…my desire to be with her…and in the best sense to protect her from my brother. So…I didn’t trust God. Or God used my evil for good? …I did lose my temper and throw her down the stairs. I was violently jealous. And in my defense a part of the reason I did it was to end her misery…and mine. I wanted to explain myself to her in person. To keep her. But that wasn’t ever going to work and I had to just let go of her. I’m still working on it. …And what’s sad to me…and I’m trying to work on my blame…is that she has no idea why. She has no idea why I care so much. She isn’t insecure. She doesn’t even have low self-esteem. You’ve just never loved her. Don’t fool yourselves. Being normal and cleaning her teeth or cutting her hair and not killing her…isn’t loving. It’s being normal. I mean…what are you all? A bunch of zombielike killer psychopaths? …No…you’ve not been loving. Don’t keep fooling yourselves. You just haven’t been. …So…she knows what love is…and she’s normal herself…but…she just doesn’t get it. So…she empathizes with me…but…doesn’t understand why I’m sad really. It’s like a concept to her. And she has to depersonalize it to understand. …Yeah. She’s not the narcissist. …She knows she’s worthy of love. But…she’s almost only ever been told she’s not lovable. Truly. By the living. …And she’s so rational, logical and objective…by nature…and mellow…and cool tempered…that…her mind just doesn’t get it anymore. When she stops to analyze it. Her brain literally has no references. And it’s not that she has low self-esteem. Or overly high self-esteem. No! It’s that…she knows who she is…but she genuinely struggles to fathom why someone or how more to the point someone could love that. Not as a parent. She gets how a child could love her as a child. But…she can’t figure out how someone could love her personally…as a person. It just doesn’t compute. And she tries to get it. But…it’s not possible so far.
Part of the problem is that the Illuminati told her that she wasn’t lovable. Very sincerely. And they’ve been sadistically drilling that into her brain, if they exist, for almost ten years. Why? Because they feel like victims.
THE ILLUMINATI EARNESTLY BELIEVES THEY ARE PERPETUAL VICTIMS. Yes. This, if they exist, is the one thing that truly enrages me the most. They are constantly narcissistically deeply wounded. Constantly. …At least as of late. And they can’t ever move on. So…they don’t (en aggregate) see Lacey as their victim so much as that they somehow…magically are the victims. She found them. …Of course…it was an accident AND they didn’t have to tell her who they were. …They could have done so many other things. Like telling her they were all demons. Or ghosts. But instead they chose to stupidly tell her who they were…and then try to convince her she was schizophrenic. In that order. …And then they tried to convince themselves that she was schizophrenic and so she went to the doctor as they hoped she was crazy. They would have all felt better if she was, especially my nephews, sadly. But…she isn’t. And…that was when Donald Trump and other Republicans gave up and started helping her and coercing her into their ranks…because they realized what was going on…and saw an awesome opportunity…and the Liberals who aren’t pure evil started truly psychologically analyzing her. …Sometimes both. (Should they exist)
Wanna know what I’m talking about? …Today Lacey had an order of 12 $60 soup spoons delivered from Bed, Bath & Beyond. Soup spoons. …Now…I know…she’s thrilled. Really. Those soup spoons are arguably one of the most exciting things she’s experienced all year.
Lamentate – Lamentabile by Arvo Pärt plays.
But…while her legal husband…bought her iced coffee today and has been loving as a co-parent and…almost business partner more than friend…in an old, sincere, emotional meaningful way…that’s very similar to friendship and as imbued with loyalty as being a sibling…he just derided her coldly for buying the spoons. Nothing too loud or dramatic, but it was cold and…unloving nonetheless. …I know…those spoons are so important to her. But he finds her…ridiculous at times. And no…he doesn’t love her like that. It’s a $60 purchase…and they can afford it…but that’s not something he values and he just didn’t and doesn’t love her in that way.
…Why are the spoons important?
November by Max Richter plays.
Because they’re made for soup. And she makes…what’s essentially gourmet soup. All different kinds. And they have soup recipes she saves for specific times of the year. Stews. Rice soups. And…they have hundreds of Dollars worth of Wedgwood vintage soup bowls and a very elegant tureen to go with it. And she loves tureens.
And…it’s grand. It’s GREAT. And that beauty…is part of what makes life livable. …I understand and understood that as an Irish-American. …Something nice…can make a day livable. No matter how bad it is otherwise. Just…that…hour of peace and quite…and…luxury, for lack of a better word. …Growing-up as wealthy as I was…but still Irish…I really get it. It’s like…why not be posh? It’s not excessive. …It’s just…nice! You know? …And sometimes her legal husband gets it and sometimes he doesn’t. …He gets it more than sadly a lot of you do.
Why? Why would I enjoy it? Because there’s a difference. …Soup spoons are made differently. They’re shaped like a bowl. Round like a circle. And it’s easier and more physically pleasant to eat soup out of a soup spoon. …You can focus more on the soup and less on getting it into your mouth. The whole eating-soup-experience becomes a bit nicer. It’s…relaxing. Special. Like…a treat. …Have you ever sipped from a glass straw? I find that pleasant too. Or…have you seen the specially made ice cubes “rich people” make? Those are fun too. …Sometimes simple things…that seem ridiculous to some people…are actually worth the $60. And no, it’s no skin off her nose if a poor person enjoys the soup spoons too. If it’s nice it’s nice.
No. Despite what you have heard otherwise the Irish don’t hate Lacey. She wasn’t wrong to find their hatred suspicious.
Keen to Cross the Pond 