“It’s Impossible!” by Lucy

(August 10th, 2024 – Morning)

It’s impossible that Lem was gay. Really. I know.

I do know. I know for lots of reasons, okay? LOTS! Ricky and I…Desi and I…had a horrible marriage. Horrible. And it was almost entirely because he was a cheating louse. Okay!? …I married a cheater. Jack Kennedy may not have been faithful even one single day of his entire fucking life. Truly. I kid you not. …And I can speak from experience that when you really fall in love with a man like that…it hurts like HELL.

*she pauses*

Lem never seems hurt by that. LOOK AT HIM! …It’s WEIRD. Don’t give me that crap about how he was jealous for a few minutes and gave someone a LOOK!? HA! Or how he was “possessive.” How THE FUCK was he possessive of Jack Kennedy. I see no evidence for that and neither do you because there isn’t any substantial evidence he gave one damn that Jack slept with dozens and dozens of other people regularly. …Him being suspicious of Jack’s others male friends isn’t proof you morons. Him getting into fights with Jackie isn’t proof. I could have fought with Jackie. She was actually kind of a bitch. …Really. She was. I’m sorry. I was at times too.

Hey! I have an idea! Maybe Jackie Kennedy being a bitch and me being a bitch happened, in part, because our husbands who we loved were unfaithful. Being in love with a narcissistic cheat makes you feel bitchy. What can I say?

Lem…was cheerful, and charming and calm. Quiet. He…may have been protective of whatever life he felt he had left…being a damned, sexless human trapped in a life of dire homosexuality…because he was straight. He may have felt Jack was…all he had. Aww. Ha! But…I don’t see any real evidence he cared. I don’t see any proof Lem gave a damn. At all, actually. I’m humoring you all when you insist he was “possessive” and “got jealous once.” He didn’t actually display any real romantic or sexual jealousy as far as I can see. And the photos at Jack’s wedding really are proof. Take your blinders off and try to see reality.

*she thinks*

Camilla Parker Bowles looks devastated at Charles wedding to Diana. That’s how you look when you’re in love with someone and they’re marrying someone else. David Pitts’ book is a fake. He seems to intellectual and reticent but he himself goes way too far with his consistent sentimental conjecturing and endless presumptions. I’m sorry. I may even like the man if I met him. But I can’t stand his book!

Lacey gets rightfully angry and so do I. Because we can’t understand why… Why do gay men…get so confused? Or what!? What are they!? …Because you can’t have Jack Kennedy can you? Right? He’s too straight! So you you have to settle for tall, better bred, handsome, straight-looking Lem Billings. Sweet, wouldn’t-want-to-hurt-a-fly Lem. A real catch. A man who would have genuinely made a great husband to a woman and father. Don’t tell me he was raffish. My husband was raffish. I was raffish. I knew lots of truly raffish people. NO! What you’re looking at was a drug-addict who may have secretly hated the Kennedys. What you’re looking at was a suicidal man who hated his life. What you’re looking at is a man who had no hope but held on anyway. What you’re looking at…is a straight man. Not some raffish, gay bum. He was straight. Not raffish. My GOD! Before Jack Kennedy died nobody would ever have called Lem Billings raffish. Ha! What a joke! Nah! You think that now because Bobby Kennedy Junior told ya so. And you believe him you fools. *I laugh* I was there! I saw him. He wasn’t raffish!

I’m Lucille Ball. Lacey’s not channeling me. Or is she? Ha. She actually doesn’t entirely know. …She hears me. It’s not like…audibly hearing me. But it’s hearing. It’s not with her physical ears. But it feels like hearing. …Sort of like a radio is on in her head. Which sounds witchy but that’s not her heart intent. She feels very desperate about it actually. …But she hears us.

She heard F. Scott Fitzgerald in 2013. And her brain has never been the same since. Why? Because she became emotionally attached to him. His life was better than hers but he relates to her. And…as she turned 30 he gave her a sense of peace that someday in Heaven she’s finally find love. With him, actually. But…he’s not an idiot. I think he may have felt she was better off with Lem. And he might still love Zelda. Either way…he’s deep. He’d have never left things badly off. …He’d have carefully planned the whole thing so neither he nor Lacey got hurt. But somehow things went haywire in 2015 when they moved to Seattle. And while God can use it for the good…as they say…and has…it’s a rotten business.

Here’s the thing: If JFK was killed by the CIA or early 1960’s 1960’s Deep State…as you’ve long suspected…Lem Billings knew. People in the CIA and early 1960’s Deep State really suspected he was a heterosexual. We didn’t know that much about homosexuals back then in some ways and he looked homosexual but he didn’t look homosexual. Okay? So… Jack Kennedy looks homosexual. At least somewhat. Actually…Desi did slightly too. And for all you know both Desi and I were bisexual on occasion. Really! I’m being honest. But…Jack Kennedy? now he looked homosexual. …Actually I wouldn’t be at all surprised if he was bullied as a child because of it. Funny no one has realized that.

Lem looks like a handsome, athletic dork. And he actually was. Quite handsome. Quite dorky. And yes…reasonably athletic, unlike how “his biographers” describe him.

Jack Kennedy was a suspected homosexual. …The CIA during the 1940’s and 50’s spied on him because they so deeply believed he was gay. Funny you don’t know that. Right? And yeah…again…they truly suspected Lem was straight and messed-up in his head. …Joe Kennedy Senior who was actually a very scary and imposing man…insisted Jack get married because he was terrified people would know he was gay. He had many gay lovers.

Jack Kennedy had many gay lovers. Some were bisexual men with wives or girlfriends. Some were men who were openly gay in Hollywood but closeted when necessary. Some were male prostitutes. Funny you’ve never heard that!

You know it’s almost funny. …You have poor hen-pecked, bespectacled, mentally disturbed, tragic Lem Billings…as your ultimate gay superhero lover. He’s a handsome straight man. Lacey loves him. *I smile* But he’s hardly…the person you have him cast as. I’m not saying he’s not capable of it. He is! He’s sexy and…sexually aggressive even…like you’ve thought he could be. But it’s funny you knew that through intuition but then didn’t realize that it doesn’t add-up. Because he also can be intuited as STRAIGHT. It makes gay men look like pure evil, actually. Because how did you all intuit his sexual abilities as a man so well…and then miss that he seems straight!?? You seem like cruel vermin who are all collectively adding and abetting a deranged perverse narcissistic sex predator named Jack Kennedy. …It’s a bad look. Really.

Yes Lem was sexually aggressive. I’ve seen him come on to Lacey hundreds of times. I’m dead too! Remember!? No? You forgot? Huh. Maybe that’s because I seem so alive. …Something to consider, isn’t it? …But he couldn’t have been happy if he did come on to Jack to express his desire for him…and yet Lem was happy. So that doesn’t make sense. Lem looks like a straight man who was created by God to have kids. With a woman. Settle down…be married…and live somewhere. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Grow-up!

But you know…if you were real…Lacey thinks you’d have realized Jack was easily a target of the Lavender Scare. And she’s right.

No. He had multiple gay lovers. Lem was his…slave. Poor man. But Jack had…dozens of non-straight men who he slept with. Some on regular rotation. Lem knew about a lot of them but he wasn’t jealous enough to care and try to find out about all of them and Jack was too naive and backward and narcissistic to realize that was odd. He was a working class Irish Catholic in his view of the world in a way. So…to Jack Kennedy being gay was icky but you kinda did it anyway in secret. And men like Lem who were sophisticated and elegant and artsy…and sensitive…were automatically suspected “fags.” He’d have suspected Elliott Roosevelt was a homosexual if Elliott wasn’t known for his sexual behavior with women. And that’s absurd. Elliott is extremely straight. Men like Harold Loeb didn’t exist in Jack’s mind. Or he assumed that Harold was weird because he was Jewish or sumthin. …Jack was a hick! …But you don’t think of it that way because a lot you secretly still are hicks a little too…and he was from BOSTON. Wow! Big city! Rich family too! Gee whiz.

No. Jack Kennedy was a hick. A real certifiable hick. He felt he was straight and that was good enough for him and had to be good enough for everybody. …Lemmers dahling was his…toady. And on the weekends he fucked women or some hot Latin man in New York City. Lem…begrudgingly tried to be a satisfactory gay husband, sexually. But it wasn’t fun for him to be sexually gay…so he didn’t mind sharing Jack with lots of other people and then just playing at homosexuality in his mannerisms to be…honorable. …Jack had a wild gay sex life. Why have you never found evidence of that? You know part of the reason why is because he hid it so well. So did his father. His father probably hid it from himself too. …But Jack knew it was dangerous and he was very clever about it. Lem really may have been (poor Lem!) a perfect cover. Think of it! He was a distraction. Men and women focused on Lem who ran around with his pinky in the air sipping tea, practically trying to walk in high heels…as an actual straight man…simply ADORING JACK Kennedy…oh my! *I swoon, dahling* I mean he was…a real class act! Ha! I tell you. Jack Lemmon had nothing on him. …While behind closed doors, so to speak, Jack Kennedy was having mutual anal sex with gay prostitutes. He felt it was meaningless fun. A way to cleverly relieve his “tensions.” Why didn’t he have anal sex with Lem or suspect Lem was weird for not needing sex? Well…Jack was a misogynist. He believed Lem was feminine as an actual fag and therefore not as needing of sex. His sexual “adventures” with gay prostitutes were just that, to him. “Adventures.” Or purely medicinal! Lem…was his friend. So…he didn’t want to…be more open about his own desires for sexual activity beyond Lem giving him oral sex with Lem. Because when he did Lem was not agreeable (Lem was straight). And he didn’t want to concede to Lem that Lem was right and he was actually homosexual. And…he didn’t want to realize that Lem was straight and that he was using a vulnerable man and being very evil and ruining Lem’s life. And…I think he couldn’t handle realizing he was bisexual. He truly desperately needed to believe he was 100% heterosexual to the max! Wow! …The hottest, most virile, most straight man to ever live! I tell you! Man! Jack Kennedy? STRAIGHT!!!

No! It’s amazing to me that nobody has ever found Jack’s gay evidence. He was regularly serviced by gay escorts. And Red Fay likely had an affair with him too. Come on! …Lots of men did. Jack was a very loose man. But you think he was magically healed and loving to Lem!? HOW!? Through the magical power of fairy dust from 1960’s San Francisco? Nope! It’s INSANE. The popular narrative, even on Wikipedia, is genuinely insane in regard to Kirk LeMoyne Billings. It’s actually kinda scary, kids!

…Man! I just can’t believe you’ve never thought to check for his gay dalliances all these years! And now those men are dead! A lot of them anyway. There’s probably still a few gay Boomers around who slept with him. A few. And I bet they aren’t…obvious. Some Latin man in New Mexico…who married a woman…then divorced her…and now has a few gay lovers. Mid 70’s. Late 70’s? Middle class. Totally unknown. …He’d tell you he slept with JFK at…17? if you forced him to. It’s always been a guarded secret to him too. Why? Because he was young and impressionable and they impressed it upon him to never say a word. And…Jack may have charmed him some too. Or…he got scared.

You’re such wimps!

This going to sound arrogant on my part after I just yelled at you, I’m sorry…but we knew. Desi knew. I knew. The Roosevelts humored the Kennedys far more than you think. Elliott Roosevelt went after Lacey because he was attracted to her but also because he felt bad. He knew firsthand how…corrupt the narrative is and how much it’s harmed her personally. …A lot of people knew. …Jess Oppenheimer knew something. Man! So many of us did!

Why? Because there were many closeted and semi-closeted gays in Hollywood who kept us in the loop. And…we just knew. We just knew what we were looking at. …We were New York City, brilliant (if I may say so) “city-folk.” …We knew stuff! So when Jack Kennedy got married…it…gave pause…but it didn’t convince us he was straight. You see? So…sure. He might be a faithful straight man! Sure. …But we were prepared for him to keep sleeping around with lots of people, including men. …Now don’t get confused and think Lem would have been magically okay with that wedding just because Jack was going to cheat with him later. Please! *I roll my eyes and get a little angry* …NO! …You’re such fools! Jack spent hours and hours…giving her his absolute attention and admiration and adoration and love. Whatever love he ever had for anybody. …I mean he was a narcissist. Can you try to recall that!? Please!? So…when he married Jackie…and gave her his meager love…it meant a lot. And don’t think his kids and Jackie don’t know that. Don’t think his family didn’t know that. He tried to love her. With his whole heart. …How that could possibly…not have made Lem even a tiny bit sad…is beyond me. It’s actually impossible! Heck…I bet there were loads of other actual non-straight men who were sad. Red Fay looks a bit sad or pensive maybe, at JFK’s wedding.

Why? Because…that’s not just Jack’s smile. It’s not just an act. And it’s his attention too! Come on! He was going to fuck her…on their wedding night…or that was the premise. There’s no way…NO WAY…any real lover…could have been as happy as Lem was that day. It’s IMPOSSIBLE. And it wasn’t Lem acting. It’s real. No actor is ever that…good that they can completely hide their real, long-held deep feelings…and then perfectly project a quiet blissful state of mind. No amount of coaching. Nothing can do that. It comes out. And…we noticed that. He wasn’t sad enough. He held Jackie too sexually…and without…any desire for Jack. He didn’t even seem angry at her. More concerned. More jealous…OF JACK.

And let’s just say the CIA shot JFK. …His wedding was attended by lots of people. …They all saw! …The Kennedys were backward. I’m sorry. They were. We still weren’t. …Those of us who grew-up poor learned quick. Or married well. Or both. …Back then there was real high society. …And people knew! And…in their naive, narcissistic stupidity…they outed themselves that day to their enemies. People knew. But…there’s Hollywood elite like me…and Humphrey Bogart…and Lacey’s father on the edges, maybe more inward than that…but anyhow…there’s us…and we knew…and then there’s other people. And those other people weren’t as…keen on the Kennedys as the Roosevelts. They outright hated them in private.

Why did they hate the Kennedys? Because they were narcissistic. The Kennedys. And because they kinda made the situation at the start of World War II much worse. They…actually started the war according to some people. …And then there were people who had been screwed-over by the Kennedys. And then there were those who hated them because they were Catholic and Irish. Or who felt the Kennedys were Boston riff-raff. It was a lot of people and actually quite a few who attended Jack’s wedding. Jackie could easily have received a wedding gift from the very people who really killed JFK.

Anyway…they saw Lem. We’ll say. And…got suspicious. Lem was trying to be happy for his friend and was. But…being nosy and urbane…some of Jack’s enemies were…intrigued. “Why is Lem so happy?” they may have thought. “No. He’s really happy.” the wife may have said to her bisexual, Republican husband who was in love with her. And so…in hushed tones, while smiling at a distance…they started seeing a huge weakness in the Kennedy armor. Possibly. And what was that weakness? Their blind trust in the wrong right people. They loved Hitler. They really did. They got along with him very well.

Summa by Arvo Pärt plays.

And so…they…could easily…have…

*She pauses to think.*

It’s like when you meet an influencer. Okay? And…remember how everyone said Caroline Calloway’s salads were soggy? Wasn’t that it? That she used too much olive oil? …See…people who hated her instantly clung to that. And that’s what it was like at Jack’s wedding when Lem accidentally let the cat out of the bag by being far too genuinely happy.

The song ends. And starts over as played by a string orchestra.

They attached themselves to their observation and started digging. Whether we as Americans secretly shot our own, JFK, or not. Or is it we? Well…that’s an interesting question isn’t it? …See that’s the kind of thing we talked about openly and frequently in the 1960’s. Who…is we? Politicians are fools nowadays. America is…a concept…not just a way to feel important. A concept that needs to be revisited in depth and with integrity frequently. Not just lightly referenced to evoke warm, cozy feelings at a political rally every few years. What is America?

…So imagine if you want…Lem Billings. Mr. K. LeMoyne… Giggling his (fake) gay giggle. Laughing with Jack. Bright. Gleeful. And then…in his quiet moments…off-to-the-side…you see him still almost smiling as he pulls out a cigarette. And folks like me are waiting and silently trying to see if he’ll crumble. Over his cigarette. But he doesn’t. Nope! It’s weird. He…just stands there and looks angry and thoughtful. Not jealous. Angry. A weird, wild anger. And you see him look at Jackie…and bridesmaids with desire. And an odd sort of rage. As if he resents the universe for something. That’s what someone might have actually seen. And then he dances with Jackie. And sure…his gay grin and mannerisms were loud…but…he seems straight in reality and if you’re a sexually experienced straight adult woman…you know he wasn’t as innocent as some might think. I’m not saying he’s lied. I’m saying it was sexual. And Jackie knew it. But it was the 1950’s and that wouldn’t have seemed weird to her. For a gay man to be sexual with her. And she was still in love with Jack. Maybe gay men or even Jack himself just don’t and didn’t know what they were looking at, despite the opposite insinuations they’d possibly make otherwise. They’re not the arbiters of all things suave, sexy and sophisticated they seem to believe they are today. Some are. But not just as a collective whole. That kind of arrogance and blindness is dangerous. Funny people let them believe that about themselves.

Later.

“How did Lem say he loved Jack when he might have been a part of the conspiracy to kill him?” says Lucy.

“Yeah.” says a living gay man.

“I’ll tell you. He was lying. …And yet I bet he was also telling the truth. You know, people are complicated.” says Lucy.

“No. That makes sense. He killed him thinking it was necessary but then he still thought he loved him. Because he was still confused.” says Lacey.

“What!?” says a living gay man.

“Yeah. I was straight! And confused!” says Lem, annoyed.

“So you had reservations?” says a sad living bisexual male actor.

Lem thinks. “Well I wouldn’t call it reservations. It was more like I was confused. Okay? So…I sincerely operated under the assumption that I was in love with Jack as much as most people could expect to experience in this yucky world. …So…it wasn’t great. But…oh well! Right? You deal with it. …I felt committed. I would have felt committed to whoever I’d had that time at Choate with. Not because it was special but because of what I felt it was and meant. You know? First love and all that. And I did help him so that convinced me even more I was useful and doing something valuable with my life enough to just let it go and try to enjoy myself as much as I could. He was…scary too. I really wasn’t obsessed with him…at least not in any real homosexual way. It was…actually far more possible he was obsessed, in reality, with me.

So…I felt…stuck. …And he was my responsibility! …And I was a man of honor. So…I did my part. …And tried to be happy. …Apparently too convincingly. …But Lacey’s not all that different. You know…you can’t hide deep present pain. Like if I’d been sad Jack was getting married for real. However you can hide…lifelong sorta pain that…stays at a reasonably consistent level. You learn to cope with it or you numb it. You do operations. It’s that unpredictable stuff that gets harder to manage. Even just a slightly unpredictable thing. So…relationship pain…is possibly impossible to truly hide. But…lingering depression you can smile through. You can’t hide it from an expert necessarily. But you can hide sudden pain far more poorly.

Anyway…I would have thought I was a complicated person. And I was. But not like that, I guess. So…if that happened…I thought, ‘I cared! I really did. …But…Jack was insane. He had one too many shots from Dr. Feel-Good. One too many…hallucinations. And as the closeted gay man he was…the insane, evil…lunatic he was…he had to be shot.” says Lem.

“Lem. Did you think you were insane?” says Caroline Kennedy.

“In a way. Yeah. I thought homosexuality was very possibly some sort of insanity. Or…less like a mental health issue and more like a health issue. So…not insanity so much as…like being born with Down Syndrome. Or…kinda like my asthma. Or my need for glasses. …Except I would or did, regardless, think it could be co-morbid with some type of actual mental illness. So…I would have thought co-morbidity was possible with…Bi-Polar Disorder or Depression, or what-have-you.” says Lem. “So…I felt…reasonably sure I was safe…but I worried I could snap at any moment and hurt a wife. And that might have contributed to my fears about marrying someone. So…I believed I was dangerous.” says Lem. “Potentially.”

“Did you repress anger?” asks a woman.

“Yes.” says Lem.

“Because you were terrified you’d snap.” says the woman.

“Yes. I repressed a lot.” says Lem.

“Wow.” says a guy who relates to Lem. “So…you could easily have snapped.”

“Like killed Jack?” says Lem.

“Yeah!” he says.

Lem thinks. “Not unprovoked.” he says finally. “If Lacey had married me…and we’d left Jack and he’d left us alone…and his family had left us alone…I’d have obviously not wanted to interact with him preferably ever again.”

“Lem I’m in shock. But if this is actually what happened…I really hope to someday be able to say that I was open minded enough to believe you.” says an Illuminati psychic. “It worries me. I seriously don’t feel comfortable accepting this. But…I also feel scared ignoring it…especially as a trained psychic.”

“Why do you think I’m not real?” says Lucy. “Let’s have it out!”

Later.

“So you were like Toby from The Office but you. …Lem…what was your real personality.” says Jenna Fischer, slightly freaking-out.

“What!?” says a gay man to Jenna.

“And Lacey has a personality slightly like Athalia Ponsell. Who was killed. …I actually think they make sense together.” says another gay man.

“Yeah.” says the first gay man.

“So she’s-“ says Jenna. “Mmm. I’m still confused. Because think about it! Toby was dorky as a straight guy. Right? But think about what he’d seem like if we thought he was gay. He’d seem…fascinating. Why? Because somehow that straightness looks like…depth? Or complication. Or something cool. Right? But then when you think of him as a straight guy he’s just really just a straight guy. Peter Thiel is like Toby but not straight. He’s fascinating. For real. …So what does Lem actually- What’s his real personality like?”

Silence.

“Like think of him as straight.” says Jenna.

“Sweet. Possibly a little uptight. …Somewhat quiet. Mellow but serious. …Very smart! …But possibly also somehow a bit average.“ says a living gay man.

“But he’s not to Lacey.” says a living straight guy.

“No. I love him.” says Lacey.

Lem smiles. “Yeah. I’m fine. Don’t worry.”

“But you’re average.” says a living gay guy.

“Yeah. But she genuinely loves me.” says Lem. “I know.”

“I’m so confused! Did you think I just gave in!?” says JFK.

“Yes.” says a living gay man.

“Do I seem like a guy who would give in!??” says JFK, suddenly lucid and angry.

“No.” says Chris Hayes. “Come to think of it.”

“I wasn’t. I’m not that nice. Or empathetic or flexible or humble.” says JFK. “He really couldn’t have talked me into it either. The whole scenario makes no sense. I’m a jerk. A total jerk. …I’m just being honest with you.”

“Wait so…you actually came on to him!?” says the second living gay man.

“I’m done playing along with God.” says JFK. “That’s all for now.”

“So…who procured the gay men for Jack!??” says a gay actor.

“I did. On occasion. I really wasn’t gay. At all.” says Lem. “I was. So did a few of his regular mistresses. I think Judith Exner might have. …He had pros too who he employed.”

“I’m sorry if you weren’t gay.” says a living gay man.

“I wasn’t.” says Lem.

“You are going to totally creep Lacey out when she dies or starts seeing you more clearly.” says Peter Thiel to Lem.

Lacey thinks.

“I’m sad you’re not alive.” says an attractive living woman, slightly flirtatiously.

“I’m sad too.” says Lem, kindly. “Is there any way to be nice without you thinking I’m flirting with you?”

“Yeah.” she says.

“You’re attracted to her!” says Chris Hayes.

“She’s very pretty. But no. Actually I’m not.” says Lem.

“Are you teasing ME!?” says Michael Rockefeller, thoughtfully. “I can seem gay at times. But also straight. …That’s me. Not Lem.”

“So you think people alive right now who are strongly attached to thinking Lem’s gay or bisexual who are trying to read the situation with Lacey…psychically…are actually sensing YOU?” says Chris Hayes. “DUDE! Why are you so weirdly easy to read?”

“Oh! Yeah. Well…she could have married me. Chris. FOR REAL. That had been in the mind of God for a while. So…her mind was designed to be looking for me. And I’m dead.

And you read me with her…because I’m…sort of in the same orbit as her. It’s nature. She’s…not me and I’m not Lem though.” says Michael.

“DAMMIT!” says a woman reading Lacey’s blog. “This isn’t what was supposed to have happened.”

“No. It’s not.” says her dead husband.

“Why am I reading her blog?” she says.

“GOOD QUESTION.” says her dead husband.

“Yeah. …He’s straight. Lem. And…I wonder what you all really know about homosexuality.” she says. “You know nerdy, sensitive men aren’t just automatically gay.”

“Or even bisexual. It’s far more and less complicated.” says Michael.

Later.

“Lacey…when you die I’ll be there.” says Lem.

Summa by Arvo Pärt plays as performed by the Tallinn Sinfonietta.

“I don’t think I’ll be scared.” says Lacey.

“It’s going to shock you. Because…I’m going to keep trying…but I’ll never be able to impress upon you enough how much I love you and want you just as much as you want me. More. So…when we meet you’ll be shocked. You’ll see me. And then feel me. And then feel like being alive was just a dream. But you’ll know it wasn’t.” says Lem.

Nocturne No. 20 In C Sharp Minor by Chopin as performed by Nicola Benedetti plays.

“I can’t imagine being shocked so much as relieved if you love me that much.” says Lacey.

And at that Micheal Rockefeller almost gives Lacey a heart attack, in tears.

“Your life terrifies me.” he says. He rubs his forehead.

“Joe…what happened?” asks NBC of Joe Kennedy Junior.

He laughs. It’s eerie. And a dark warning.

It’s day where he is. He throws sticks into Cape Cod.

Putin feels he understands. If there’s an Illuminati be empathizes with Joe.

“I’m not that great.” says Joe. “But thanks!”

And at that Putin cries. He rarely cries.

“He’s fighting the good fight?” asks Bobby Junior of his uncle, possibly genuinely unsure and genuinely asking.

“I’m very mad you, you little twerp.” says Joe to test him.

Putin laughs empathetically.

“You’re better than us. Huh?” says Bobby Jr. to Joe.

“So what if I am!?!” yells Joe, genuinely enraged.

Bobby Kennedy Senior looks shocked.

“I’d have worshipped you.” says Bobby.

“Let’s shut-up about it.” says Joe, brusquely.

“Am I going to see you?” asks Bobby.

“Well what do you think?!” says Joe.

Bobby feels sick. “Yeah.”

“You shouldn’t reject Christ.” says Joe.

“Sorry.” says Bobby as a little boy in the future.

“You’ll see your dad too. WITH GOD!” says Joe.

“I hate him. Sometimes. You know?” says Bobby.

“You can tell me that. That’s fine.

What do you want to know?” says Joe.

“Why are we fighting Russia?” asks Bobby.

F Major by Hania Rani plays.

“We’re exhausted.” says Joe, cryptically.

Bobby cries in the future.

“Can we save ourselves?” asks a woman.

And at that Joe wails and screams. He begins smacking Jack over the head. Beating him to death again.

“I’ve had to let it go. You should too!” says Noe Biden.

“I was this close!!!” yells Joe.

And at that in the future Joe Biden crumbles and vomits in misery in the future.

“Ouch.” says Kamala Harris now. “Joe…buddy…what happened?”

“We couldn’t save the family!” yells Bobby Senior.

Robert DeNiro shrugs. “What happened?”

“Karrie knows!” says Bobby Senior.

“Oh! You think you can call my wife Karrie!? No. Back off!” says Lem smiling, but enraged.

Joe still crying, “He’s right.

Man!

Well Kamala…it’s like this.

Okay. Imagine I’m Tom Cruise’s character from Eyes Wide Shut. His personality in the movie was a bit like mine. …Anyway…that’s who you’re talking to. As a reference.

I loved…Lacey. I fell in love with her. …Kamala it’s all screwed-up.

The love people say Lem had for my brother…is actually the love Lacey had FOR ME. …She…adored me. …You know how people describe F. Scott Fitzgerald’s love for Zelda? It was so…rare and beautiful? Yeah. That’s Lacey too. She too is capable of that kind of love. And what she saw in me…was me…but I became…better than life. I was…better than Zeus. You have no idea how amazing I was in her eyes. And it genuinely broke my heart for her. Because she’s not loved.

*Joe cries*

And…I wanted to help her-

*he cuts off*

But…I’m selfish.

*He wipes his nose. Calms himself.*

So…I kept that love and…in a way I protected her. As if she was actually my so-called twin flame. She felt…safe…and hopeful…and I tried to mask her…misfortunes. Hide certain things from her to keep her in a good place. It was actually work. But…it was rewarding. I felt I had…a wife. You know? Like…if I’d not died.

But…I knew she was probably…not for sure…maybe…but probably going to be with Lem. When she died. Or Elliott. Or Harold? …Harold made me angry. So I ignored that part.

…Anyway…they lie about us Kamala. And I guess we meant a lot to people.” says Joe.

Silence.

“I…was so sexually confused.” says Joe Junior.

“I was too.” says Bobby Senior.

“Yup!” says Bobby Kennedy Junior.

“I loved Pat Wilson.

I almost married Athalia Ponsell.

I was in love with Katharine Hepburn for a while too.

…But I really…did…fall…deeply in love…with Pat. There were other people. But…I suppose no one was quite like her. And I’ve lied about that to myself and other people for almost a hundred years now.

I loved Pat Wilson. Historians mostly have that wrong. That was real. I actually was in love with her. And what we have and had was…extraordinary. When I died we both lied and moved on. …But when she died…everything changed. The whole world changed. …Maybe if historians hadn’t ignored me so much…and had noticed her more too…you’d have braced yourself or she’d have died sooner.

She was…so important. To all of you.

I was the chosen son. Jack mimicked ME. …He wasn’t as straight as me. Or as healthy. Or as smart. Or kind. …I would have been the virile, decent father. And I was better looking than him too. …I’m not Lem. Alright? I don’t look like him. But…I’m better looking than Jack. And I would never have been a drug addict. …They scared me too. But because I was Irish and determined not to fuck up my whole life.

Jack…was a malignant narcissist. He maliciously competed with me. It wasn’t just competition it was…cruel. And I lost my mind…and killed myself. Historians have that wrong too. I was taking risks I shouldn’t have taken. Because Pat was married and British. My father had started the war. And Lacey…wasn’t there. She’s adding this all up in her head right now…and she’d have…being Tom’s daughter…found some way to get us all out of hot water and keep the US Presidency for me…should I be fit. But I couldn’t see a way out. I felt trapped. So…I just gave in that day and took my chances. I was exhausted and war torn beyond…most people’s comprehension. So I died. And Kick knew it was suicide. …Well…sort of suicide.

So…I died.

Dad was a little insane. Okay? You can’t reason with him when he gets a certain way. And he can’t hear…other people’s feelings. So…when he pitted Jack and I against each other he didn’t fully…anticipate that it could kill us. Especially me. I was his favorite child. And that meant so much to me.

*Joe Kennedy Senior weeps*

So…I…died. And I really don’t think he knew what he was doing and how that…could happen. Given his way of raising us.

So…I died. Jack…who had used Dad’s weakness against him to win…used Lem…and since Lacey is his…for eternity…in a way…he used ME. …I truly loved her. I really did. And…it’s not at all surprising that Jack viciously used Lacey’s Adam to suck his cock and do his laundry and wash poop off his kids butts. …How much more insulting can he get to me? Using my remarkably beautiful Lacey’s Adam…the man who she wholeheartedly gives herself to instead of me…to suck his cock. And wow! Why wouldn’t he prefer Lem was straight! That’s even better! A dopey straight guy who arguably could kill him with his bare hands if he’d been so inclined but who didn’t…because he was loving.

Jack knew I could love. And love deeply. And he…struggled with that. He struggled to be able to love anyone. In any way. Ever. …So what fun to rip apart Lem’s soul using Lem’s love for humanity. That’s right up Jack’s ally.

…So…why is it so disturbing? Because I was capable. Lacey’s doubted that recently. And I don’t blame her. But I was exceptionally intelligent. And I had so much passion. …I excelled at The London School of Economics. I truly relished studying economics. …And….I was charming when I wanted to be. And I was…very good-looking. I was better looking than any of my brothers. …All that to say…I had it in me to be elected. No bought election. …Which would have saved my family millions. Millions we’d still have today, to be clear. We lost a lot of money bribing people. I’d have been rightfully elected.

And no. Nobody would have shot me! …I’d have been far more terrified than Jack…by the consequences of things. Fidel would never have insisted I be killed or else, whether that happened or not. I’d have made America independent. I was an isolationist. And…you can bet there’d still be steel here. And you’d never…NEVER believe Flint is what it is now…if I’d lived. I’d have kept as much here as possible. Because I’d have felt scared by the thought of us not being independent. …We’d be so much better off.

To be honest…we’d be boring. Like the Bush family. Or a lot closer. I’m a fairly Republican man by today’s standards. I’d have been a Democrat. But I’m far more conservative than Jack was. Well…maybe I’m progressive. But…while I’m not hateful I’m not…my brothers. I’m cautious. So…things would have changed but at a more…steady and sustainable pace.

I can’t stress enough how…bad it is.” says Joe.

Bobby fights off tears.

“Yeah!! We’re real!!” yells his father.

Tucker Carlson starts laughing. Can’t stop.

“How close to what you’re actually saying is she?” asks Tucker.

“Closer than you’d think!” says a psychic.

“Close.” says Bobby.

“So she’s getting your point across. Even if it’s a bit off?” says Tucker Carlson.

“Yeah.” says Bobby Sr..

“I can’t help but grieve tonight, Tucker.” says Joe.

Putin looks sad.

“So…what happened?” says Kamala.

Glassworks: VI. Closing by Philip Glass plays.

Joe looks thoughtful.

“Lacey is extraordinarily beautiful.” says Joe, simply. “But she’s an incredibly lonely person. …And it was only a matter of time before something had to give. There was no way she was ever going to be content to just wither away…slowly dying…as deeply and truly beautiful as she is. She wanted to love and be loved. It seemed just to her. And so she fell slowly over time into a sort of time tunnel, we’ll call it. A way where she drifted into the past…and became one of us.

I’m Going to Make a Cake by Philip Glass plays.

So over time she accidentally started interacting with us. Through film. Through art in general. Music. And…she’d ‘imagine’ us. After school. For hours.

In middle school she imagined playing with us. As kids. And what she didn’t know…was that it wasn’t actually imaginary. We were really bonding with her as if we had played as children together. Naturally…I developed a crush on her. Kick got jealous. Jack decided to steal her. …And she was meant for Lem the whole time.

…When she was asleep once she had a dream where she played with the Roosevelts. As children. And that was real too.

We haunted her. She heard my sister’s voice and Athalia’s voice once when she was alone with her kids and her toddler had started climbing up the piano. …I had something to do with her falling down the stairs. …That’s all real. She’s heard Elliott’s voice. …But she’s very smart and it wasn’t until she possibly accidentally found the Illuminati that she realized she wasn’t like other people in that way to the degree she isn’t like other people. Well Asmats might be different. …But most people alive in the West today. And no…she’s not a witch. She literally just sees us. It’s involuntary.

See…she’s not schizophrenic. She’s…too alone. So…like water looking for an outlet her mind wandered and looked until it found us. And…if we’re not demons we formed normal human attachments to her.

She’s a natural friend to us. More than Lem. Jack’s too stupid to realize that. And Elizabeth…the Queen…was a real friend. She’d chose Elizabeth over us. And it’s sadly for good reason. I wish I could say otherwise. …We…aren’t cousins. But…I think we feel…less like friends to her and more like…something sadder. You know? Something where we all feel a vile amount of compassion for each other and JFK…Jack…wishes to harm us. All of us. Because…he’s evil.

He hates.

….Her father was a bootlegger and a Hollywood…fan. So was my father. We share that with her. And it does affect you. Her brain is like our brains. And…it’s nice to play as a kid with another person who gets you. Especially who’s not from Boston. Or family. Just gets you. Your fears.

And so…it’s…been excruciatingly painful to manage the situation with Lem. It makes sense. They make…absolute sense together. But then it feels…scary. Because it makes so much sense. And you start to feel insane. And small. And vulnerable. We really were just as predictable and ordinary as anyone else.

And then I start to fall in love with her again. And it hurts. And Jack might care about me some…so he works with me. And we try to break them up. But…I can’t do that anymore. Because she’s Lem’s. And…Jack- I just can’t.

Why didn’t he just let me win?

He didn’t really even like being President anyway.

I wanted nothing more than to be US President. That was my ultimate dream. Call me a simple man at heart…but that’s what made my life feel meaningful. And people can relate to that.

For Lacey…it’s not enough. She could be God and she’d feel dull. Because she can’t be God. …She was made to love Lem. That’s possibly one of the things, other than being a mom, that means anything to her other than her other relationships and God. Being a ruler would only matter second to being a mom and a wife, if she had her pick.

So…Kamala…if there’s an Illuminati…she found you because she could be US President. She’s that smart. And clever. …But…what she really longed for was love. And Diego accidentally or intentionally was impersonating Michael Rockefeller.

Go ahead and look into it. But that’s what it seems. Okay!? You were channeling a dead man. To gain power. And it was a horrific miscalculation. You used Michael’s leftover energy to seem sophisticated? Or what? Nice? Posh? What was the aesthetic? Anyway…she didn’t know any better. And being so lonely she thought he was Michael not just channeling him publicly to be more appealing. So…she hovered. For lack of a better way to put it.

She’s very slightly dead. Remember? Very slightly. It’s virtually imperceptible. And she could be revived but…it’s not looking likely.

This summer she grieved Joel. He was one of the few chances she had to be happy. And I and other people fouled it up. …I thought it would work out. It didn’t entirely.

So…she may have accidentally found the real Illuminati. And…I’m Joe Kennedy Junior.

And yet…she belongs to Lem. So…only 1,000 people who aren’t in the Illuminati will read this. Maybe more. But…it’s unlikely. And other than your issues with Christ…that doesn’t even bother her. She’s not like us. Lem is.

It’s rather ironic they should share their sex life a bit on this blog.

I suppose that’s it.” says Joe.

“So now what?” says JD Vance.

“Yeah. Well…that’s your choice.” says Joe.

“I think she’s right. We shouldn’t be surprised. Just…be…chill.” says the UK.

“You can’t undo it. Her spiritual contribution to the Illuminati as an involuntary member of your coven is not…dangerous. If you know how to work with her. What harm has she caused Great Britain that they haven’t already to themselves?” says Lem.

“Yeah.” says Tong Blair. “I don’t think…she scares anyone but America.”

“You all made her an involuntary member?” yells a reader.

“Probably.” says another reader rolling her eyes.

“As a joke at her expense.” says Erin. “But she’s too…British to not see through us and just think we’re fools. She’s just used it. Like a good Brit would.”

“HOLD ON!!! She’s used it!??” yells a reader.

Putin nods. “Yes! It’s how they do their witchcraft. And we’ve tried to undo it…but it’s kept. Possibly because she has no idea what happened. And she only breaks it using Jesus. So…if He’s allowing her to have power…essentially God is doing an audit on the Illuminati through Lacey. Lacey Banks. And I’m thrilled.” says Putin.

“What if she dies?” says Lem.

“Then she’s got power through Emperor Constantine. Regardless of reincarnation. So all of Europe. And possibly Egypt.” says Lem’s father.

Putin nods and yawns.

A reader bursts out laughing.

“Oh wow. So…huh. So…if there’s reincarnation…y’all found Scota!?” says another reader. “Wow!”

“Is that satisfying or not?” asks a Norwegian.

“They have yet to even begin to process that.” says Usha.

“So Jack may have destroyed the world. Almost for real. Wow.” says a reader.

“Yeah. I think the gays pretend to think Jack is straight.” says a woman.

“Why?” says Lucy.

“Because they’re fools.” she says. “They need to own it.”

“Not all gay men are that dumb.” says Peter Thiel.

“Then own it.” she says.

“How?” says a gay man in Hollywood.

“Flaw: Lem. Take him out of it. …If necessary say he’s possibly gay. Possibly Jack’s lover. But quickly add that historical context is limited and given Jack’s narcissistic personality he very easily could have been the inspiration for that whole thing not Lem and have actually made Lem look more in love with him and make gay than he was. So…we don’t really know.” she says. “What!? That’s too rational?”

“No. It’s good.

Shit.” says Time.

“Tennessee Williams? Red Fay? That’s the start! …Out him! Be more honest.” she says.

“We’d have to be different. People aren’t that honest and never have been.” says Ken Burns. “I mean…some are. And they gain respect for a reason. But it’s common not to be.”

“So you can’t handle it.” she says.

“They might not.” says Ken.

“We’ll see how safe that is.” she says.

“So why did you assume it was funny to inculcate her?” asks a witch.

“Because Diego said she was fake. He didn’t look into it. He only knew she’d not finished college, grown-up in an apartment, and lived in an apartment in Seattle. And we didn’t look deeper.” says a woman at MSNBC.

“He looked into it.” says Diego.

“You told us you hadn’t!” says Erin.

“I lied.” says Diego.

“Why?” asks Donald Trump Junior.

“To end the world.

I knew she was abused. Her parents were odd. …She was deeply depressed. Ill. I knew. I just lied.” says Diego.

“We believed you!” says Chris.

“That’s embarrassing.” says Tucker Carlson.

“Why did you do that to them?” asks a Native American woman.

“I grew-up poor.

You wouldn’t believe the stories I’ve had to tell. The awful things. …Global Warming! It was time!” says Diego.

“What exactly did you have in mind?” she yells.

“Nuclear war. …Wars. Aliens. You name it! Death is fast.

I’m dead. It’s not so bad.” says Diego.

“So you’re a homicidal maniac?” says a Southern U.S. woman.

“No! I’m smart.” says Diego.

Putin laughs.

“So you’re making us do all the work?” says Iran.

Diego shrugs. “We’d all be better off dead. I made that decision years ago.”

“A flaw in the Illuminati they did not see coming!” jokes a reader.

“So now we’re still ending the world?” asks a witch.

“Maybe! I dunno. I’m still into it.” says Diego. “But we’ll see.”

“Buddy…you messed-up.” says Chris Hayes.

Diego shrugs.

“You really did.” says Kate.

“Go look at all the people suffering. At the borders. Then tell me I messed-up.” says Diego.

“