“My Wife” by Lem

(September 11th, 2024)

Is there reincarnation? Is there an Illuminati? No? Yes?

Prospectors Arrive by Jonny Greenwood plays.

Those questions will haunt Lacey for the rest of her life.

…If there is reincarnation, she’s Scotia. Yes. That sounds…fantastic. But she is.

Who is Scota? Scotia? An Egyptian princess who left Egypt and essentially started the country of Scotland. Scotland is named after her.

The song plays.

The song finishes.

We sit silence for a brief second.

Cantus in Memory of Benjamin Britten by Arvo Pärt plays.

…In 1999 or so…on a weeknight…Lacey was sitting in her bedroom at her home by herself listening to music…alone…when she suddenly started pondering a possible terrorist attack on New York City. Yes. A terrorist attack on New York City. Orchestrated by Muslims, possibly partially angered over the U.S.’s ties to Israel. But also…something to do with Colonialism.

Lacey envisioned a Muslim…tanned man…sitting in a tent. Dim lights.

He was a man with a tall turban. Middle-aged. Skinny. He ducked into his tent. In a slum? …Like…a homeless person’s tent? And sat there…planning a terrorist attack on New York City. Dark. Late. Very, very secretly. He wasn’t homeless but rather pretending to be to have the utmost privacy.

Lacey’s sense was that this man sitting in the tent was a Muslim man…in India. …And…that’s where she gets scared. Because…if there’s reincarnation it’s conceivable that he was contacting her. For guidance. In planning 9/11.

What did she accidentally tell him? If there’s reincarnation and she’s Scotia?

She told him that New York City was key. Because it’s…New York City. …The heart of America. Or a major organ at least. …Arguably the most important city in the US, psychologically speaking.

*If there’s an Illuminati Donald Trump laughs.*

“Lem! If I was reincarnated I could have made the same mistake at her age. What was she? 14?!? …I mean…come on!” says Donald Trump. “And I agree with her, by the way. It is the most important city in the US.”

She loved and loves New York. Regardless. …And yes. It was a horrible mistake. If it happened at all. Regardless, she did envision 9/11 before it happened.

Just The Feller by Thomas Newman plays.

Lacey told them, because there was more than just one man eventually, to make it highly public. …In her opinion if it was going to get attention it needed to be the center of attention. So…nothing…not…perfectly noticeable. Nothing ordinary. And based on that they may have decided their attack had to be televised. Her genius…her insights…actually may have helped them sort through their own thoughts on what to ultimately do. Especially for the Egyptians, if there’s reincarnation. For some reason…if she’s Scotia…they trusted her. Not just as a sort of maternal female entity but as an intellectual adviser as well.

Where did the idea for planes come from? Ha! …At the time she was smitten by Joe Kennedy Junior and Elliott Roosevelt was also eyeing her. So…whether there’s reincarnation or not…they accidentally contacted those men as well, if they contacted her.

It went something like this:

“Planes?” said an Egyptian.

“Yes! He says planes!” says the Muslim psychic.

“Planes!??” said an Egyptian.

Then they were silent.

“Fly planes!!” said a dead man.

“Oh! Yes!!! Fly planes!?!” he said.

“Yes. I flew planes.” said a dead man.

Organ Variation by Hans Zimmer plays.

“But mother is saying…to make it loud!??” said an Egyptian referring back to Lacey.

“Yes! NEW YORK CITY!” said the psychic.

“She says it has to be in New York City!?” said another terrorist. (She didn’t. She was just focused on New York City and didn’t want to think of anything else and stopped her mind from wandering.)

“She keeps talking about New York City.” says the psychic. “She’s…in love with New York City.” he said, smiling. (She may have been.)

“Then we have to have New York!!” says another terrorist.

They all sit and think.

“I trust these spirits!! They are our heritage! They KNOW!” says the third terrorist.

“What does she know…about New York City!?” says the second terrorist, skeptically.

“Haven’t you ever been there!??” says the third terrorist.

“No.” he says shamefully.

“She’s demanding we focus on New York City.” said the psychic. “That’s all she wants to talk about.”

And that’s the thing. If there’s reincarnation…Lacey had no idea what she was saying. She vividly recalls the conversation. It was very eerie. But she didn’t know.

She felt very moved by the Holy Ghost, actually. But…she also was being…seduced…to be honest…by ghosts. Why? Because she was a very attractive, lonely, teenager. And several dead men who could see her in her spirit as an adult…chose to transform themselves into teenagers again to interact with her at that age, out of empathy and attraction. They were Elliott, Joe and me. Others too. …And…she’d listen to our music, watch our movies and feel our love. Entirely subconsciously though, because we had hoped she’d be happily married eventually.

Open Spaces by Jonny Greenwood plays.

Sweet. Sincerely loving. Gentle. Genuine. Cheerful. …Kind. Smart. Nubile and beautiful. But alone. Far too alone.

So…as…she sat in her bedroom one evening listening to classical music as she did her homework…with her headphones on…she practiced spiritual warfare. Spiritual warfare as taught to her in her edgy Charismatic Christian church.

She meant well and Satan either viciously attacked her…or if there’s reincarnation…she accidentally acted as Scotia. Maybe both.

As the song played Lacey felt led in her spirit to raise her right arm high into the air. And keep it there. Palm flat. A word feeling of power came over her, but she assumed it was all part of the warfare as taught in her church. Like she was…controlling something through telekinesis with her hands. …That’s what her spirit felt led to do. And she was taught to listen to her spirit as moved by the Holy Spirit when in spiritual warfare. Because…Christian Charismatics…believe the Holy Spirit leads them. So…she was obeying what she felt was God’s voice. What was it actually? Well…that’s complicated. And it requires some deep theological analysis. She was only 15 or so at most, regardless.

Proven Lands by Jonny Greenwood plays.

Anyway…in Lacey’s forlorn…doomed, life…a life she was literally tricked into living, if there’s reincarnation, by bitter dead people who hated me for being straight and not knowing that while I was alive, she was…awoken, if there’s reincarnation…by very warm, friendly, fascinated Egyptian men. And Lacey…being fascinated herself by war…and history…had fun talking with them. They had a great conversation! If there’s reincarnation…they all walked away from the experience…in a great mood. And…there was nothing we could do about it. You’re not supposed to contact the dead. If the dead contact you…that’s one thing…and still…possibly dangerous and evil…but…you’re not supposed to contact the dead.

But…Lacey’s father…weeps. And wept. Watching her profound loneliness. And…if there’s reincarnation…these men, specifically Osama Bin Laden…heard him. They heard Lacey’s father crying.

The song plays.

The song finishes.

II. – by Philip Glass plays.

If there’s reincarnation living terrorists from the Middle East heard a dead pharaoh’s wailing. His incessant moaning in anguish over his daughter’s horrible life. If there’s reincarnation. And moved by his horrific torment…Osama Bin Laden…tried to channel his pain and use it for his own purposes, an one might say the purposes of his people.

It’s all very rational. Very scientific. Whether there’s reincarnation or not.

“I have tensions. …And I need them relieved.” said JFK to me as a teenager. He became obsessed with the concept of me relieving his so-called tensions. And…yet…he was never honest about his real mindset. His real…perspective on the matter. Rather, I was the perfect scapegoat. The effeminate acting man who had gay friends and tried to be gay. And…to many people that’s all being gay is. An act. A choice. …Even though…that’s not reality. …I was straight. I was really heterosexual. And…I lived a DAMNED life. …So very damned that if there’s Purgatory…JFK’s inability to move on…created a problem…as…his dark rage…and violent hatred…his evil…became tensions…Osama Bin Laden possibly had to relieve.

And so…as Lacey listened to music…and dreamily imagined 9/11…and did spiritual warfare…the world hung on a string…and she…played with it…like an innocent cat. Batting at a toy.

The song ends.

Forget…her being relatable. Have empathy. …She…had…no idea. In her mind…she cared about…a great many political causes. But…if there’s reincarnation…they listened to her. Her actual self. And me.

If 9/11 hadn’t happened it was going to be far more likely she’d get happily married. And…while I wanted that…it was going to be awful. To watch her. Miserably and anxiously waiting.

So you see…if there’s reincarnation…it’s not so simple. Maybe it’s the same either way though.

People into New Age sometimes have naive understandings of evil at any rate. And it’s dangerous.

Yay! Taylor Swift endorsed Kamala Harris. …I…look forward to the end of the U.S. If Kamala wins. And no…that’s not hyperbole. She’s not an idiot. She’s just wrong. I’m sorry.

Liquid Spear Waltz by Michael Andrews plays.

The Middle East…was…inspired.

If there’s reincarnation, the Middle East was inspired by an extremely sad, unusually beautiful…kind…teenage white young woman. Alone in her bedroom.

9/11 was an inside job in that case after all. An inside job. Inside. Massur be kind to me. Y’all. …I gots my own damn room! In the big white house. I get to see lots of important stuff. And…he real nice to me! Real nice.

…Don’t get overly fixated on Kamala Harris’s race. …Race is a very dangerous issue right now.

Will JFK cause nuclear annihilation after all? Hmm. Maybe? …See…you don’t understand. …I’m sorry.

De-Tuned Quartet by Jonny Greenwood plays.

“She also could have married me.” says Michael Rockefeller. “But everyone keeps forgetting that.”

“If there’s an Illuminati.” says JD Rockefeller.

You took her life…and made it meaningless in your estimation? In your analysis? Just a topic for discussion. No…person attached. But…that’s not reality. So…the person attached…wrote this blog. Because why not? If you can heartlessly hypothesize about her…then perhaps…you can sit and read a blog that explores and expands on that idea. Expands. Because the universe is expanding. And our understanding expands. Mind expanding drugs? Well. They didn’t work. But…we like the word expand.

An expansion of borders? Expansion…for us…is usually always good.

You know what’s not good? Expound. Pound? A pounding? …Ex POUND? The Dollar wins? …If there’s an Illuminati the pseudo-intellectual, women-hating feminist Liberal women love to attack Lacey for accidentally using the word expand to replace expound. Because she genuinely couldn’t bring the word expound to mind once when she was writing, years ago. On this blog. …And she’s explained it to them many times. …And actually…expand is used as a sort of replacement at times in analysis. As in, “Let’s expand on that idea!” But…these people willfully and VIOLENTLY ignore that reality. Lacey’s not an illiterate, poor, white, “mouth-breathing Midwesterner.” …They gleefully pick and choose what to believe as fact instead of honestly examining a situation and looking for truth. …And while I was fairly Liberal at times while I was alive…I can’t stand them anymore. It’s all just fucking cheap-bullshit. Cheap! …Whatever is cheapest. Comes the easiest. The path of least resistance. They don’t understand the idea of tomorrow. They just need to feel better. Better as narcissists? Better as actual hurting people? It depends.

…But…it isn’t safe.

See…even if there’s not an Illuminati somehow something is happening. And yes, I’m a ghost. But…not everyone talking to her is. Is it an Illuminati and evil? Just evil?

Listen…stop picking. Stop picking. Looking for what? Bugs? Bugs to get rid of? Bugs to get rid of to feel better? The real problem…is…what you use. Not the fake bugs. Those bugs…aren’t necessarily real.

God bless Taylor Swift. But I am not a fan of Taylor Swift anymore. Not that I ever was, really. But Lacey used to like her. And…I’ve heard her music.

The song ends.

“Immortality is much harder to achieve than you think.” says a dead 9/11 victim. “When you’re alive.”

Later.

“Lacey…I’m a little worried Lem was straight.” says a living man.

“Why?” says Lacey.

“Because…a. I know gay dudes…and…he doesn’t seem gay. Especially when he’s younger. And older. And that’s…odd. …The day dudes I know are just gay. …And…I don’t think you realize how difficult it is for a guy to actually imagine being with someone when they’re dead…in that way. And I just don’t think you’re lying. …And b. Well…pretty much just what I said. How is what you experience happening…happening?” says the guy.

“Yeah. It is weird!” says a Russian woman to Lacey.

“Yeah. And you’re still in shock Lem died!!” says a witch to Lacey. “Over a hundred years ago.”

Lacey thinks.

“Let’s be honest. …Who was Joel?” says a Russian woman. “I’m pretty sure you were supposed to marry him. …Lem…would she have chosen you? If she’d had him?”

“Yes. …They’d have had a wonderful marriage. But…there’s a reason it never happened. For both of them.” says Lem. “But there are plenty of moments they would have been exceedingly happy. And I’d have been scared.”

“Eww!” says a woman reading her blog.

“Why is it eww?!?” says Kamala Harris. “He’s just dead. It’s not like she’s sleeping with a corpse.”

“You can’t contact me. I’ve said that before. Ms. Harris. Madame Vice President? You cannot contact me. Just in case you’ve tried.” says Lem.

“Okay. Cool.” says Kamala.

“It’s better that way!” says Lem’s dad.

“What about when she dies?” says Kamala.

“That’s up to God.” says Lem.

“Man! Sorry about your grave.” says Kamala.

Lem thinks. “Yeah. It’s shit. …Thank you.” he says. “I mean my grave turned to shit.”

“You know…I relate to both of you.” says Kamala.

Lem laughs. Smiles.

“No. I’m gonna be a good President.” says Kamala.

Lem smiles. Lacey thinks.

“You know…my problem is that I can’t stand good-hearted people being wrong. And I get scared of being wrong myself.” says Lacey.

“But if you’re hearing…from God…that he was straight…then that’s significant.” says Kamala. “I mean…it’s probably real. And true. And honestly yeah…if you keep asking and hearing he was straight then…I mean…”

“It’s difficult to let people lose.” says Lacey. “I’m not like you. I just feel so bad for them.”

“But I lose. And win. And I’m okay. You know? You are too.” says Kamala.

Lacey almost cries.

“Lacey I have a good chance of winning.” says Kamala.

“Joe hated me.” says Lacey. “Do you?”

“Yeah…no. Not like that. …I’m a spiritual person. And it scares me to reject people that deeply. …And we don’t have to. You know?” says Kamala.

“Yeah. I don’t want anyone going to Hell.” says Lacey.