(July 18th, 2024 – Morning)
She took her regular dose of iron. Then she accidentally took another dose hours later. Because she forgot. …Then she took two more out of the bottle thinking she was taking Advil. …They got in her mouth and then she spit them out when we insisted they weren’t Advil. And she heard us. …If she’d taken them…and the other two she’d possibly have taken thinking it was Advil she might have…died. Yes. From just six. …And goodness knows she might have taken even more because they weren’t Advil. I know her body. …12 isn’t that much. But…it’s a lethal amount. And…she came closer to dying than you think. Even with six. …She’ll be okay. But…she’s high in her iron level today so to speak and we’ll not be taking her supplement.
…I’m real. If it wasn’t for me she’d have taken those pills. Me and her father and grandfather. …She came very close to taking them. But we yelled at her. Quite loud. And…it worked.
Nuages by Debussy plays.
She’s not Jack reincarnated. And I wasn’t gay. I was straight.
Why would six have killed her? Because. I can’t easily explain right now. Sorry. But…it might have.
…It’s funny. I’d love to have her here with me. But…I felt very certain about saving her life. Of course it’s because of our kids. But…it’s not just that. It just wasn’t God’s time.
Regardless, she can’t as easily disregard our existence today. Out of her usual cautious sense of things. Because today…she’s not dying because of us. 12 iron is lethal. Six could be. …She had them in her mouth and we yelled at her. They were wet in her mouth. And we got her attention. …It wasn’t her brain telling her to stop. Her cousin also yelled at her.
“See. Those feel different on your tongue.” said her cousin.
“Out!! Spit it out!!” yelled her father.
“You’re stupid.
Yes. That’s right.
You can be very dumb.
Yes. You can be.
I can be too. It’s called being human.” said her grandfather.
She took serious pause. Spit them out slowly and elegantly as all her movements are.
“But I know they’re nothing but Advil.
Please! Nothing that thrilling ever happens to me.
Calm down.” said Lacey.
She starred at them.
“OH!! OH!!!” she said in shock.
“There!! You see!!” said her grandfather. And he almost cried. Partially in shock himself.
What was I doing?
Coaxing her spirit to listen through our love the whole time. And yes, we all were praying in our hearts, so to speak, the whole time. …And her father was shouting. Very loudly. Very boisterously. She’s heard him many times in life. And he’s saved her life on numerous occasions. As loving parents do. …Slippery floors in front of elevators where she might have fallen. He’d yell. …But that’s easy to reason away. …Yesterday she argued with us. And she was in conversation with us. …She was going to swallow them. We genuinely talked her out of it. And she knows that.
I wish you knew that this was really real too.
Keen to Cross the Pond 