October 2nd, 2024
Chris, I have a wife who doesn’t understand why I would want to make her happy. She literally cannot fathom it. If there’s an illuminati, you’re gonna have to be a little more honest with yourself and with everyone because Diego royally fucked-up.
Your wife has been reading Lacey saying, “Oh it’s all my fault!” in her analysis in her head. Lacey keeps saying, “Oh it’s all my fault to herself as part of her analytical reasoning process and your wife has read that for eight years and so has Erin and at a lot of other people at MSNBC and they think they’re hearing from God. They don’t realize they’re reading the inside crevices of her mind. We’re not entirely sure why she sounds like God…like God to you, but I think you’re hearing her and you think you’re being inspired by a higher being like God or you think you’re hearing your own thoughts or you think that you’re hearing your higher self or you think that she’s admitting to something…but she’s not doing any of those things. That’s not what’s happening.
”Can I just say something? Did you ever watch any Lauren Bacall movies, Lem?” says a Boomer.
“ oh I did and I know you’re going to tell me that my wife is like Lauren Bacall and she has a lot the personalities are pretty similar. It’s possibly a generational thing they were other women like that too but not that many but she’s one of them and that they’re not exactly alike, but there is a similarity, the problem is Lauren Bacall is not Scotia. There is a similarities but they’re different women just like Lauren Bacall couldn’t play the role of a British aristocrat and Lacey actually is one if there’s reincarnation they’re not identical so you make a very valid point should I listen to your points or something I don’t know?” says Lem.
“ oh yeah because I am like the daughters perspective in the back of the car I don’t think you have a fucking clue what you’re doing mom I’m gonna say is like Lauren Bacall and why do you keep stepping all over her feelings?” says the female Boomer.
“ yeah, you treat her like a rug and she’s not a rug.” says a male Boomer.
“Maybe Lem was insane. I’m starting to think he lost his mind before he met me.” says JFK.
You don’t let me deal with Lacey and him the fact that she’s right that doesn’t really make any sense. The truth is if there’s reincarnation I fell on my own sword Vladimir Putin has smiled and laughed the way that I have, but not in the same like the same way he’s not the same person And the difference is that he’s Russian if you know anything about Russian culture and their understanding of evil and darkness it’s profound they understand darkness better than a lot of European cultures. If not most well, I think the British could stand a chance, but they the Russians are geniuses at understanding evil. and they tend to know that you don’t laugh about certain things. Putin asked me so wisely a few days ago as a genuine friend that he is to me genuine friend. Um, what is so funny lame he was pushing himself to be that kind and he succeeded he did what is so damn funny and he’s right I he could ask he could he could him and a lot of other Russian men could explain it to Lacey especially if they were drunk and someone who just won a hockey game. They could explain it to Lacey she could see it and then she’d probably eventually catch on But I don’t think outside of that culture that would be easy for her to understand and that isn’t even the point and he knows that that’s why he said damn. What is so damn funny?
But they’re not necessarily meant to be together for eternity and she likes royal crown derby plates. So does Queen Elizabeth to some degree she tolerates them she might even secretly like them so I did I I have to figure it out and I want to anyway I shouldn’t even say that because it’s ridiculous.
But the truth is, I fell on my own sword, because I watch her more than any sort of happiness I’ve ever had or could have there is nothing but nothing without her absolutely nothing, and I know, Putin understands that as well, which is why he will not be losing if he doesn’t if he is with her but he understands that premise. And I’m trying to figure out how to say this, and it’s not coming out quite right because if there’s reincarnational, he’s a little boy to me and someways a very very wise little boy and yeah he’s also not a Anne him and Lacey now being alive with him being older than her know he’s about her age in a way, which is problematic to me because it is it’s hard to put it into words, but he does understand her to an exceedingly disturbing degree
This is where I am livid at gay men, and he probably be honest with you. He may even be angry at you partially for this reason as well it’s possible that he thinks you people are mentally ill and evil but a it hasn’t helped anything that he’s seen stuff like this, so to speak. So don’t expect him to be your ally in your war. He cares about you as people, but he’s not in your allegiance of gay flakes. He actually might care about more about you as people believe it or not than some people who wave those flags but he’s not someone whoever wave the flag and by the flag I don’t mean my flag I mean your flag that you fly over your houses in your cars he’s never going to do that but he does care about you and an enormous amount.
“ can you just quit the war and take care of my finances? Geez I don’t know you’re right I am a straight guy mostly but there’s a little tiny part of me that’s bisexual and I get where you’re coming from because I empathize with your wife I’m not the best financial planner I’m in my 50s or 60s and I look at him and I think you’re a genius. He’s obviously a, I just think wow him financing the war the way that he has I have a feeling he’s pretty talented at what he’s doing writing countries so I’m sorry you have your phone on your own sort and him. I don’t know what to say to you, he is very difficult competition but you know you’re OK but you just it’s torment anyway?” says a Boomer.
“ Yes instrument anyway a he knows that as well and if that’s not quite right then he’s not too worried but but it is torment. It is his torment because at the end of the day until I can sort this thing out with my daughter she in a sense is trusting that he may care about her enough to search for 200 years if they have to for my daughter And then whose daughter is that it sounds like it becomes his and I am and if there’s reincarnation she is possibly the queen mother so Alexei Romanov and in the Scotia find the queen mother and bring her home and then what happens to me well, I guess I get to find out more about how good Jackie is at telling jokes. I don’t want that though, and he understands that more than you do more than seemingly most people do no offense he understands how miserable I am.
He understands why I want to screw Lacey he like to do that himself in person, but he’s not able to, and he’s amazingly good at restraining himself and talking to her this way, and then restraining himself on top of that because he believes I could be real if you get to that level of awareness, let me know. No offense.
I am sorry if I’m being a jerk to you I’m not as nice as Lacey OK I’m really not and that’s the thing I want her more than any kind of happiness and you know what I didn’t realize until recently was that Jack when I used to say things like he’s good at making people laugh. It wasn’t really true what he was good at was making me laugh And I had fun with him. Could I have that much fun with other men? Yes I could actually I could have that much fun with Vladimir Putin in a heartbeat I really was straight I am so no if I was in Russia drinking vodka watching a hockey hockey game I actually kind of did like hockey, watching a hockey game. You may see me laugh, as much as you saw me laugh with Jack. Sincerely, I could even end up on someone’s shoulders, but I won’t do that anymore but when I was little so to speak, I thought it was safe to do something like that maybe in heaven I don’t know maybe not I don’t know what is appropriate, but I’m not sure what yeah man no Vladimir gets it on I mean I was it is it I didn’t know what I was doing and I was straight and so it made sense to me. It was fun guys get drunk and they’re having fun and they’re partying and they’re talking about sports and his. I don’t know it’s just fun And it actually is straight. It really is believe it or not it is you don’t believe me but it’s true. I’m sorry is pathetic but Russian men still have fun together or they used to you know seriously and they get rowdy in a way that not all culture not all cultures do so you know that they probably do crazy things like jump out other shoulders and try to grab a chandelier and swing on it. I’m serious they’re like that and it’s not homosexuality. That is the way I have fun with men that’s the way that I am I’m back if there is reincarnation in the 1800s there were a lot of men who are straight who are like that And they had fun and it was very it was very physical and it wasn’t sexual. It was just fun it was rowdy you know and in the 20s when they swung on chandeliers it was from that they came from before partially people being wild really wild and you know part of it was that people were more physical back then they moved around more physically They fat physically it wasn’t just press the button you know listen to the radio do this it was you had to physically do stuff and then got stronger and away maybe you and their minds even and so they just they just I don’t know they thought it was funny for some reason and it was it isn’t and she doesn’t understand and it’s not sexual But she does understand I don’t. Yeah watch minute sporting events especially in Europe. No I’m sorry Americans it’s not it’s not homosexuality yeah they do. They get manga crazy with each other and it’s really not homosexuality him I don’t know but anyway I am so that is something that she’s never experienced because her husband doesn’t have that kind of report with men And she’s not been loved and her father that raised her was gay so no she has no reference whatsoever consciously at least for what that is and when you keep saying that’s not real that’s homosexuality if that’s not correct and she knows more than you do about cultures around the world with men Then you’re screwing yourselves over and you’re fucking everyone else up as well.
Anyway, maybe I have a friend but the thing is I don’t know what to do. He understands that I don’t know what to do because they don’t understand. We just tried to explain it to him and now they have us in love and they’re turning all Russian bars in today, brothels in their hut, because that’s what they’re determined to think now that that all gay men are closeted in Russia and they’re at gay bars watching hockey, getting drunk and jumping on a trailer shoulders because they can’t screw each other because their closeted.
I know and then they had me thinking that I that I that they think I’m trying to have sex with Vladimir Putin secretly a no no that’s not what I’m doing and he knows that but that’s what they think they think I’m trying to escape from Lacey because why the fuck would you want to be with Lacey to go runoff to a gay bar in Russia that isn’t called a gay bar because Men in Russia are all closeted
*Ireland laughs*
“ I realize I can’t help you I can’t I can’t sorry because because of the Kennedys and other experiences that she’s had with Irish men I can’t say a whole lot but I can say that that’s true no she’s she’s hearing the truth it’s not it’s not it’s not a homosexual but that’s what they think?” says Ireland.
“ yes it is. They no longer understand in this country that men want to just be together and watch a not a movie watch a game, get drunk, and scream and be crazy. They don’t understand that they really don’t they’re still insisting is she saying this and that’s bullshit and that we’re all just secretly gay.” says Lem.
Putin nods. Laughs.
“JD you are bisexual and closeted aren’t you?” says Lem.
“ you know he might be is that a problem?” says Usha.
“ it is because I don’t think he’s dealt with that particularly well and I think he gets confused. I’m sorry.” says Lem.
“ him so anyway oh no, I actually was straight and I really just like to hanging out with the guys and getting drunk and being crazy. I am the guy in the frat who was big and screamed and then screamed too loud and almost broke his own eardrum, and then to realize that he made a fool of himself because he was big, and he scream so loud that he then decided to just go and play pool downstairs in the basement all night really quietly because he felt so embarrassed but I actually was straight.
The problem is that Lacey doesn’t know how to make me that happy she’s not feminine maybe there’s some Russian men who understand including Putin so she doesn’t know how to make me happy in that way isn’t that funny yeah it’s not ha ha funny so she doesn’t know how to just hold on. She doesn’t know how to make me happy in that way, she doesn’t know how to make me happy and that way and she would understand that under normal circumstances but it might actually bother her some Russian men understand that as well I mean it’s not bad that means your wife loves you. You know little jealousy is not a bad thing and they do you understand that, and I understand that but the problem is that that’s normal level right that’s normal level.
I’m not there anymore, because Jack mixed that my straightness with his bisexuality and perversion. So those pictures you sent me in the snow where he post stuff and I was confused and going along with it. I’m very happy and at least one or two of them really happy but it’s because I’m writing on his shoulders over being you know crazy and it’s snowy and it’s just kind of fun it’s not romantic it’s really not it’s for me. It was purely just fun. I thought he was a friend And I thought no no the sexual stuff is just weird I don’t know. I guess I’m a nut job, but I have to be honorable about it cause I’m kind of like a leper, but that’s always your point. That part is only to appoint the rest of it is just friendship so I can let loosen hang out and get drunk and beat. I might even been drunk in those pictures and just you know have fun. Just be fun it’s just a fun thing just guys having fun Because I was straight I was actually heterosexual.
So the problem is so the problem is she she she has a problem that’s totally reasonable she’s not being unreasonable because what’s happening is that he mixed that do you understand he mixed the two he did jacked it I’m sorry you don’t want to hear that about your hero, but that’s what he did. He mixed my innocence and heterosexuality with his perversion and bisexuality, and created a monster.
Because I can’t get out of it by just saying it was just a friend I mean come on right I can’t say oh he was just a friend that’s not what happened.
I thought he was a friend, but I was wrong and being horrifically taken advantage of because he was perverse and bisexual and real and don’t make me defend him. *yells Lem*
So the problem is that I had too much fun no I wanna since I didn’t. I yeah OK I did sexual stuff. It was nonsense to me. It was gross. I was actually straight so we’re not having a problem with that because she’s extraordinarily understanding and intelligent that the problem is that I had too much fun. I had too much fun and she can’t make me that happy. She doesn’t have the ability to choose that as a woman.
No, I am not in hell I’m not in hell I’m not in hell and God can redeem the situation but it’s bad because I I I I can’t talk to her easily and the best I can say for now is say fuck it fuck it Lacey I don’t want that kind of happiness Sorry for swearing but no I don’t want that to screw it forget it I don’t want that I don’t want that kind of happiness just fuck it without you I don’t give a fuck about that
But then the problem is that she still cares because we love Anne and she loves me that much and yeah, this is what pisses me off and you understand the men here in America just jump to the conclusion no it’s impossible. He hast to be gay this can’t be lame yelling right now sounding so straight that’s not possible that’s up this can’t be that bad things can’t be that bad it just can’t be that bad.
And it is not that bad, it is that bad! I actually was straight! *yells Lem*
And so then that’s the problem I don’t know what to do because I’m not gonna like go of her but I don’t know how to sort of fix the situation because yeah that’s why she was involved with other men because she just gave up on me. she thought I’m never going to make him that happy that’s a part of his soul. I’ll never be able to touch and I can’t stand these smarty bastards. I’m sorry for swearing and she thought forget it. I’m moving on to something else because this is a waste of my time.
And I can’t blame her, but I am in love with her and Dad we’re going to be together for eternity and I care about America and that is my that ha I don’t know what to do because I don’t know how to explain to her how much I love her she can’t understand And Ploen is trying to explain, but they always interrupt him because thank you for listening. It was nice talking to someone see is not funny. Thank God Jack was a narcissist, right because if he listen to me and I got out a Nancy maybe not but you never know maybe I couldn’t talk to anybody even.
I know that’s not her being crazy… That would be JFK being crazy and obsessed himself. Yeah, they’re narcissistic people the Kennedys, and they tend to project their problems on everyone. Just keep that in mind.
Him with us to think, so um, do you know Goodwind men not to lay with each other for a reason you’re not supposed to do that because it really isn’t necessarily safe do you know they say all Christians are so stupid you’re not supposed to eat shellfish either. Oh no shit you’re not supposed to eat shellfish do you know why Because it might not be safe. Yes this is my real personality. It barely ever came through.
“ what do you like eggs?” says a gay man.
“ do I like eating eggs?” yells Lem.
“ yes!” says a gay man.
“ You know I do, but I don’t trust you right now, so fuck you!” yells Lem.
Keen to Cross the Pond 