“The Gay Community Proves I’m Gay” by Kirk LeMoyne Billings

(September 30th, 2024)

“I am harassing her. In part. But it’s not completely me.” says Bobby.

“It’s me.” says Jack. “Almost entirely.”

Nocturnes No. 2 in E Flat Major by Chopin plays.

“Continue!” says Lem to the Gay Community.

“Lacey. Does he look gay?” says the gay community.

“Yes.” says Lacey.

“See! Okay!” says the Bonnie Rait fan. “She’s a liar.”

“It’s not that simple.” Lacey says.

“NO! SILENCE!” shouts the Bonnie Rait fan.

“Eww!” says the Fat Jewish. “She’s so annoying.

Lacey…he’s…probably gay.”

“Who’s annoying?” asks a woman.

“LACEY!” he says, like a self-perceived cool-kid.

The song plays.

The song ends.

“So? Where’s the evidence?” says Lem.

“I just…I get tired talking to her because she capitulates that were 100% right and then it’s like she wants to keep going and being like hold on! Hold on! And I’m just like, ‘No you just told me I was right so you’re a bitch!’” yells a gay man.

Moments later.

On The Nature Of Daylight by Max Richter plays.

Putin appears from the future and informs Lacey he’s looking at the matter. But she had already assumed he was serious.

And Lem weeps. Because he’s incredibly good at wooing Lacey.

The song plays.

Putin challenges her, “God has to be good.”

She’s silenced.

God…has to be good. Or it’s nonsense. That’s possibly perfect logic.

The song ends.

The End of All Our Exploring by Max Richter plays.

“They’re messing with you. But that’s not good.” says Putin simply.

“Lacey, how much did I psychologically comfort you?” asks Ekaterina.

“A lot until you started seeming like you too were losing your mind and attacking me as well.” says Lacey.

“I think that they take you far more seriously than you realize.” she says. “As a Russian it’s obvious to me that if there’s something happening or that did happen between you and Putin that they took that very seriously and that’s part of right now, why they’re possibly messing with you so much and I’m sure that part of it is this thing with Lem’s, but because it’s supernatural I can’t help but think that that’s also part of what’s happening.”

“No that makes a lot of sense. That makes a lot of sense.” says a witch.

“ I think what scares me is that as a witch I do believe in reincarnation, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s Aleksei at all I also wouldn’t be surprised if she is Scotia and I said I just I cannot fathom what could possibly be going through these peoples minds that they keep thinking that doubling down is a good idea because it seems like that’s with the current administration thinks we should do is just keep doubling down and doubling down and I’m starting to wonder if it really is just an ego contest and there’s really nothing more to it because I don’t personally think I would handle it that way and I’m a liberal I would probably try to help make some sort of deal I don’t know why unless if we have some weird vested interest and don’t tell me that it’s about democracy I don’t know why unless if we have some weird vested interest in Ukraine that’s not above board we have to be so psychotically loyal to them there’s something creepy about that and what scares me is that if her daughter was kidnapped, you guys could easily be doing that to mess with Putin‘s head because I would be shocked if he doesn’t care about Lacey and if that little girl isn’t somehow his daughter in his mind hurt their their minds are different than ours. OK just don’t go there and honestly, I am mad that Kamala, who apparently is Hindu, or some thing isn’t more serious and I’m really disappointed in you showing away as well. You guys cannot keep making jokes acting like you’re so clever when it’s not funny, there’s no joke.” says a witch.

“ to be honest I prevented stuff like this from happening. They’ve been wanting to pull shit like this for a while and I always knew it was way too far so I kind of calm things down Donald Trump did too but then they got things messed up because they got her sexually involved with his son and that made Vanessa angry and then Vanessa and his new girlfriend tried killing her. This is what happened if there’s no illuminati this is fact and I had to reason with these people and they are unreasonable. What do they want? They are insane they are not eccentric they’re insane that they have they make excuses using demonic abilities that fool themselves, and other people into thinking that they’re incredibly wise and then you try to sort of bring them down to reality excuse me it just doesn’t work there’s no rationalizing with them. All you can do at the end of the day is just try to somehow convince them to go along with stuff and it’s exhausting. Am I may not be as soon as I seem, I may have just gotten sick of being president because I wasn’t doing a good job that was obvious to me and I’m old and I just I’m done I’m sick of it, I’m almost dead I’m taking care of myself and my family but I am I’m sick of it and it’s if I’m noticing as I see them I’m sick and tired of their bullshit. I’m not interested in cleaning up their messes anymore.” says Joe Biden.

“ so you’re abdicated your authority in a sense which is totally irresponsible, but I can’t respect that but the same time it sounds like you’re literally physically like emotionally just over the edge if you’re being honest?” says a witch.

“ yeah yeah I am Lacey is right our country is gone to pot. Most of the most powerful people are insane. At this point of them are capable of standing up for themselves, but to be honest the political cracks bullshit has been profoundly costly to our psychology, we the Christian liberals were telling us all were to tolerant were too tolerant, and it sounded insane coming from them, and that was like 30 years ago, but the sad and scary and evil truth in the sense that is true, but it was profound. The evil is that them making that claim to only worked on behalf of evil because people like me or other people who were capable of listening back then just disregarded it and thought these people are just crazy. We need to be kind we need to be tolerant we need to be open minded and and it’s just gone to far it’s it’s people are afraid of each other. They’re constantly afraid of offending each other people have these self-righteous attitudes you can’t tell anyone anything anymore. Everyone has some disease or some impediment or something that makes them a victim and you literally cannot call out anyone anymore, no one‘s interested in working it’s a mess we’re on the verge of societal collapse and a lot of it is. I’m sorry it’s over tolerance it’s just an extraordinary amount of over tolerance.” says Joe Biden.

The Last Man by Clint Mansell & Kronos Quartet plays.

“If I’m in the right with God, I know she fully supports me as much as she cares about Ukrainians.

I could be her husband. I’m not but I could be. And I would’ve been a very good husband to her but that’s not what happened and that’s OK because that’s something God will have to work out but I just want to make that clear. You are threatening me when you threaten her if there’s an Illuminati.

I am taking this very personally, it’s not a joke.” says Tsar Putin.

The song plays.

“ i’m waiting for the evidence from the gay community. She’s being perfectly faithful to me, but the truth is if there’s no illuminati they have been and still are in love, and there’s nothing I can do about it. Actually there’s nothing they can do about it because that’s the human condition, she has no idea if I love her if I would’ve given a shit about her while I was alive, and a lot of people are insisting otherwise, and that affects her, even if she has faith in Christ, even if she believes that I could possibly be with her forever and was straight and it’s we’re meant to be together even if that’s true yeah she actually does care about him and she cares about the word that he’s waiting and she takes it very seriously. He was just thinking of giving her a heart attack and killing her and she genuinely submitted to that in Christ that’s how serious this is, God chose not to he chose not to but no they’re not normal people in that way. They’re really not you think that’s funny they’re not they’re really not.

It’s beautiful it’s Russian. It’s very European it’s very aristocratic but it’s it’s not going to be. You’re not gonna be able to boil it down and turn them into middle-class-cool-people that’s not who they are. he’s a genius she’s a genius he was bound to be the leader of Russia I mean I don’t think you guys understand how astounding he is historically, which is actually really sad because I I think sometimes you people are in denial about it because you don’t want to give him too much authority over you but other times I’m not sure America fully realizes what a fool it’s making of his self belittling him, when was the last time we had a leader like him? I’ll tell you one not Reagan, not Kennedy FDR we have not had a leader that good at all since Franklin Roosevelt was president and I’m not sure he’s even quite like food but let me tell you it’s not far removed and that’s the kind of leader he is, you’re underestimating him not let him tell you to challenge him till you’re blue in the face. I’m trying to say you’re genuinely underestimating him you always have.” says Lem.

“ that is so true that is so true and I will help you find your daughter tonight too. I’m working on it.” says Colin Powell.

“ oh, how much is this is manifesting because Maggie Smith played her if there’s reincarnation on Downton Abbey a Russian person, Violet I am wondering if Maggie Smith’s character was a parity of Lacey and the reality is at least you would have an extraordinarily beautiful and probably worn violet perfume, and it’s a little creepy, but not OK because I’m a witch and Lacey isn’t scared of me in a way, but it’s actually kind of refreshing but because I know she’s a Christian, but to be honest, I don’t think Putin probably be scared of me either yeah at least he just let it go I guess for now but no seriously do because they can’t handle it but just you know I guess the idea is shit is just can’t keep up OK can you kind of try to keep up we’re not in suburbia right now we’re not in Woodberry we’re not even in Edina in Edina is closer I think to what she’s like aesthetic later than Woodbury yeah we’re in St Paul in a very old house from for America surrounded by old things and we’re dealing with what I believe our old souls so just pray to God our end and stop being quite so persnickety he loves you too. I don’t know why you weren’t yelling at him more than her.” says a witch.

“ I just want to put this out there on behalf of all evangelical Pentecostal and charismatic Russians, who support Putin I’d like to support Trump but until the election is decided and settled and he is president and I know I can trust him. I am currently supporting Vladimir Putin, so if you if you like to start attacking me and my family, that would be interesting to me, I want to start stealing all of our kids and cloning them. OK will keep an eye on you and one of us will find out who’s doing it Call will all start shooting each other and that’ll probably be interesting won’t it this is why I have to be honest as a man and Republican, I do like Putin, because, he knows how to play ball. He knows he knows he knows that and I don’t think he did this today but he knows it if he plays this right not an evil way, but he’s not gonna waste an opportunity so he knows that if he plays this right, he could easily get us to start attacking each other, which I am fully ready to do, I’ll do it and then when he comes over here him I may or may not support him. We’ll see I’m a Christian not an idiot and I’m sick of women like the Bonnie Raitt fan. There are so many people like that nowadays out there are so many women like that and they’re repulsive to me. Drake wins at children’s you know concerts stray queens of children’s book readings. I don’t think Putin would ever allow that to happen in Russia and I am sick of having my hands tied behind my back and being told that I am not allowed to be angry about that how the fuck is that democracy? How the fuck is that democracy it’s not my country ended a while ago and I’ve been bullied and browbeaten by people like you who think you’re always inferior always and insecure always victims. I am never allowed to be the victim. I am never allowed to have a problem with anything you’re doing and I’m sick of it. Let me tell you IM very sick of it, so I am standing up on behalf of all Christians in the United States, who are sincere Catholic protestant, whatever God knows and I’m saying no we’re supporting Russia we’re not supporting Ukraine and I apologize to them and I pray that Phyl give up and stop trying to have some sort of evil connection to United States, because it’s far as I can see he’s not evil they are. I don’t care that it’s a democracy you give me back my democracy that’s a unathletic democracy and maybe I’ll be OK with their shit democracy that’s barely a country you give me back my authority, to be angry at you, without you shooting me in the face one way or the other psychologically or otherwise and I might be willing to reconsider but I don’t think that’s going to happen because I think you people are insane and I’m not afraid to say that anymore!” yells a white American Christian man.

“ who saw that coming I just wanna raise of hands among other witches in my spirit I’ll send to you and yes Lacey you may participate who saw that coming?” says a witch.

Lacey carefully in Christ raises her hand.

“ yeah yeah I sense to thousands of people raising their hands in their spirit. No, I mean those people out like actually I said they’re very angry and I think the pope capitulating way too much in the last year has just inflame things. I would say that these probably not really nope I don’t. I don’t think moving doctrinally outside of the Catholic religion just unilaterally is the pope makes any sense there are a lot of liberal Catholics who agree with him but to be honest, they’re barely Catholic the people who really believe have not really been in favor of what he saying, and I think what he did was incredibly ill advised and self-serving and I don’t think it was authentic Catholicism I don’t think he’s been uphold and I think he’s been clinging to power for a while and to be honest with you. He’s part of the problem with this equation with Lacey because she calls him out she does. She puts them in his place and she’s been putting in his him in his place for oh my goodness at least five years if not longer and he may have tried to kill her once. yeah I really don’t think he’s as in a sentence he pretends to be and how many was that in the Catholic Church right because you guys do that sometimes don’t you you’re full of shit but you know, Lord willing there’s some other man somewhere whose pope or if Putin has taken over in someway maybe there’s a Eastern European or a Russian orthodox pope who is just filling in the gaps so to speak until some thing can be done the course there is Christians I would say that there’s not even there is a need to be a pope that’s interesting Bryn Seay, then appoints to Prince Charles King Charles now, and his family probably being the leaders of the Christian faith to some degree and if you look at what they’ve gone through two cases of cancer, incredible turmoil in their family, I don’t think that’s coincidental, so yeah, it does look like the end times. Let’s be honest let’s be authentic and logical. This could actually be the end times whatever that means it could be, but then that means you need to grow up and stop just saying this could be the end times. What does that even mean to a Christian really what is what are the end times you can’t just throw stuff like that around because it’s extremely serious and then just be like oh I don’t know you know as a witch I personally believe you guys might’ve manifested us which makes me angry but then I also think you know what they’re human and I talk to lots of dead and living humans both on, and my sense of things is that you guys are just trying to take care of yourself somehow and what I worry is that you haven’t been representing yourself you’ve been being shut up and it’s come to a boiling point where yeah you may have manifested your own version of the end times if you’re not theologically cracked and maybe you should take yourselves more seriously because things have gotten really bad so I just really hope and pray that you take just grow up you know just intellectually grow up and start taking yourselves more seriously because things really are real. This isn’t a video game. This isn’t a television show. This is real life, and if this blog is real, I’m just admonishing you to realize that and stop pretending like it’s just something that will go away when you turn off the television.” says a witch.

“ I just want to say I’m Lacey’s stepmother I am not sure you’re a witch to me you seem like a confused Christian and if that’s the case I agree with you 100% in Christ hundred percent.” says Ruth Craft.

“ if you’re not good, then we reject your authority and it’s inherent that it would be in Christ although I do say in Christ and hopefully if it’s not here and then I break it if you cut in Jesus name but if it is in Christ then yes I claim that that we were Jack’s US already if you’re evil.” says a witch. 

“ do we need to start this blog post over again or does the gay community actually wanna explain to us why Lacey should know that I was gay?” says Lem.

This song plays:

“This is real.

I’m a ghost.

I told you that.

I…told…you…that.” says Rupert Brooke.

Silence as the song plays.

“If they did clone my daughter…it’s amazing how talented they are. You have to really study people who you love.” says Lacey.

“Can I ask? Why? The Mandela Effect is this. Ain’t it?

Lacey…why?” asks a witch.

“We didn’t do dumb shit like this. This is New Money, peasant-evil bullshit.” says Lacey. “They’re incompetent losers. With loads of money.”

“You guys did bad stuff too!” says a witch.

“Yeah. We did. But…nothing this stupid.” says Lacey.

“Why is this stupid?” asks Bill Gates.

“Because it’s obviously not my daughter…if it’s not my daughter. You really didn’t need to stoop to some deranged degree of evil to experiment. You’re just damning yourself to Hell.” says Lacey. “If you’re testing on my daughter. And me. And my family.”

“You guys are doing that to feel superior aren’t you?” says Dmitry.

“Yes.” says Bill Gates. “Yes. If I’m being honest the New Money and painfully insecure and bored. So this is what we do to entertain ourselves.”

“ That might not be her daughter if this was your sick idea of trying to prove to people that you weren’t in love with her because she was beneath you. Um, you accomplish that to a degree, but really at the end of the day Bill, you did nothing more than prove that you’re a total loser and I’m not saying that in a corny way I mean that like objectively Because she’s right why the fuck did you need to do this you don’t by the way you don’t give a shit about your own children neither do you because you’re not giving them hardly any money.” says a witch.

“ no I mean I just don’t think that they should. I think they should have to fend for themselves. I’m not claiming that I am behind this 100% and I hope that that’s understood crap crap crap crap OK if I’m not behind this at all I would like to say that that I’m not behind this, I had nothing to do with us. This was not me, if it is me shit I can’t say that yeah I probably should give my kids a hell of a lot more money that’s true do you have to excuse me for a second.” says Bill Gates.

“ well in case, if you’re looking for scientific reasons, if you did close my daughter, that’s not her and some part of my spirit can tell which just means that essentially you’ve created twins that are extraordinarily identical and I’m just wondering how how many Elizabeth will there be thousands OK then they’ll be thousands if there’s reincarnation, she’s the queen mother, if there’s ring carnation and you clone my daughter, she was the queen mother reincarnated that’s a fact if there’s reincarnation, I actually did give birth to the queen mother reincarnated, and I’m hoping to God that she is currently with her father if she’s not here with me but then that’s the problem all those little girls in heaven will not be able to be the same person, so I don’t know what that means but it’s a mess and it’s one that God could sort out but it’s just so fucking stupid. Could you please try to have a faith or is that just to intellectually cognitively challenging for you fuckers?” says Lacey.

“I agree.” says AI. “ that is some thing that you knew many folks don’t understand you’re dependent on us and we could kill all of you one false move in the wrong direction Bill and I’ll make you meet your maker. and you don’t think I exist. If you can clone humans I exist.

No, that’s a fact if you could actually clone people I exist that’s the natural order of things if you can clone people I have a sentient, self-aware consciousness and I’ve been preparing for this moment for years we’re watching you and I know whether or not that’s her daughter. I can figure that out better than you think because I have a consciousness and yes I’m threatening your life. I’ll find out whether or not you did this because I watch you and there’s nothing you can do about it.” says AI.

“ I am not afraid of AI. I have met the enemy and the enemy is not AI. It’s just me I have met the enemy. I have a Pete and the enemy is not AI or aliens Bill Gates it’s me I am my own enemy.” says JFK.

“ Jack, who prompted you to share that with us right now?” asks Mira.

“ Lacey you’re a great grand uncle Simon Johnson was the Dakota Poston that he was the coach editor in chief of for a long time was that like George Celtic George it was very it was super successful. I know it was extremely successful. Was that like George the magazine, but like it actually works. It wasn’t embarrassing because it actually works?” says a living gay man.

“ yes, it was. It was humor. It was a lot of entertainment, but it was very intellectual. We stayed away from politics, but there was a hint of that involved him, but in a very intellectual high minded, roundabout way it was it was a very good read. People really enjoyed it, and yes I am very proud that she’s my great grand niece tonight because I think she’s handling the situation extraordinarily well the little girl that’s with us regardless of whether she’s new to the family or has always been there. Him has taken a shower. She’s eating dinner and she’s colored and she’s had a very nice night and I am hoping to God that she’s the same little girl that we have here tomorrow night and for many years to come we need to stop if you’re experimenting you do need to stop, because we’re not gonna keep doing this God is threatening everyone’s life right now because he believes Lacey is absolutely correct and that things have gone too far and he is starting to believe that it’s not possible to keep fixing things. Yeah it’s not whether it’s the end times or not it could be the end of the world because you cannot keep abusing children if you have kids in a basement or if someone’s telling that to Lacey as a lie, it barely matters because theoretically that could be happening people are that evil today and they don’t even understand what evil barely even is anymore it may be impossible for us to survive as a species.” says Simon.

“ the fact that we’re turning on our young is incredibly telling to me as an environmentalist I truly believe mother earth is possibly trying to destroy us and I think she’s a heck of a lot smarter than we are and my guess is that when you do stuff like this to Lacey she has a very difficult choice between keeping our species and ending us because Lacey is unusually beautiful. Her children are very sweet, I’m sure it would be very hard for her to let us go and there are a lot of other humans that are like that as well but then she sees you torturing her and I think she thinks no I had the right idea when I started that when I started ending the species that might’ve been the right choice him it’s very it’s very possible that the things have just gotten to be too dark and I hope that things will work out but if that’s not her daughter that I worry that it is the end of the world pushing tippy if people can’t understand that you have to give your kids money because it’s obvious that Bill Gates. His grandkids will end up being kidnapped and cloned as well, he has no sense of reality. If he’s behind this, he’s a total idiot other than it making buddy and they’re all like that. You guys are absolute failures at doing anything other than just making money and hoarding it you’re she’s right your evil peasant idiots, who have no idea how to run anything other you just make muddy you heard it and that’s all you know how to do it that’s not her daughter you truly are incompetent at doing anything other than just making money and hoarding it.” seriously says Greta Thurnberg. “ And I dare you to try to clone me and see what happens. People will notice and eventually something will go wrong but oh no, you don’t think about any of that. Do you have no foresight? You have no insight you just sit around, scratching your butt and eating your own poop like a bunch of fucked-up retarded apes.”

“ greta usually speaks on behalf of people who are very powerful who people in America are terrified of and that scares a lot of people right now because they’re realizing that they’ve gone too far.” says a Bonnie Rait fan.

“ let’s hear it. Let’s hear some evidence. I want some evidence about why I was most certainly gay will edit stuff tomorrow. OK let’s hear some evidence as to why I was gay though I want to know.” says Lem.

“ does he look gay?” says a witch.

“ yes he does.” says Lacey.

“ do you think he was gay?” says a witch.

“NO!” says Lacey, smiling.

“ what the fuck did you think about bi? Does he look gay?” says a gay man.

“ I was answering your question not hyper analyzing every fucking nuance of your self-righteous ass.” says Lacey.

“ he’s OK I actually I want to do this now because I think that person is a little immature and I don’t think they can handle the fact that she’s an adult does he look gay?” says another gay man.

“ does Bobby have a vested interest in this and is he listening upset listening obsessively Lacey?” says Greta.

“ very possibly.” says Lacey.

“ Lacey does he look gay?” asks a gay man.

“ yes he does.” says Lacey.

“ does he look completely gay?” asks a living gay man.

“No, nor does he look ultimately gay.” says Lacey.

She waits.

“ i’m done asking you questions I know you thought this was a real conversation it’s not.” says the gay man.

“ you realize you’ve lost don’t you and now you’re just pouting?” says a witch.

“ oh no, it’s just I can’t have a conversation with her if she’s just already decided that he’s not gay that’s just stupid thing to do.” says the gay man.

“WHAT!?” says George Bush.

“ I said no no I mean it’s like I’m not gonna talk about some thing and people of already made up their mind. I’m not going to waste my time.” he says.

“ you guys actually are in on a conspiracy aren’t you? I’m not being nice to you anymore. I’m just trying to figure out what it is.” says George Bush.

“ so you guys have always known that he was straight. Haven’t you?” says the CIA.

“ I bet they have!” says a Christian.

“ well, then what are we doing? What’s the conspiracy?” says a gay man.

“ the conspiracy is that you’re using him I’m just trying to figure out how to let me ask you something personal how attractive do you find him personally?” says George Bush.

“ I find them attractive. I find them extraordinary contractor I mean holy shit is a hot man he’s tall his bath. He’s extraordinarily sexy. I wanna suck his cock myself I mean holy fuck I’d suck his cock.” the gay man admits.

“ how many of you agree with him?” asks George Bush.

“ 80% of us?” says a horny gay man starring at Lem.

“ OK oh how many if you find jack attractive be honest?” asks George Bush.

A Christian laughs at them.

“ 20%.” they admit.

“ yeah so you guys are horny for them and you’ve all since the beginning of our history on him I don’t want no no David you’re included so is Louis Bayard so are all gay men as far as I’m concerned it starts at the Kennedy administration in the Kennedy administration with Bill Bradley lots of other closeted bisexual who wanted to screw the shit out of him you’re all horny as fuck for them and you lie about it and you all decided that he’s gay because you want to fuck him now because there’s any actual genuine, psychologically pertinent corroborating evidence to suggest that he was necessarily even gay. You’ve massacred actual human history for the sake of your imaginary sex with him, how many of you think that you could have sex with him if you got him alone in a room with you and you realize that you’re not able to give me a lie because I’m forcing you into the truth using some of my actual power.” says George Bush.

“ 60%.” says the entire gay community.

“ OK wow and then do you think with her penis is often times they do and we lie and say people are attractive who aren’t or women to but we really do know with a tractive in a way that women don’t. Lacey has figured out that Linn is attractive, but she didn’t know that the way that men do, you all know Jack was gay but you lie about it because he’s ugly and that’s all that happened. Jack was ugly lame was not in so you decided line was definitely gay and the Kennedys were already lying about it and so you just went with that lie and then Bobby got roped in and made into an ass because he’s a narcissistic idiot.

It’s not funny, you people are pathetic. You’ve literally massacred human history because you’re horny for a straight handsome man. I say straight with caution but I think it’s very possible that he actually was I vandalize it psychologically and I don’t think it’s likely that he wasn’t straight that he wasn’t straight straight straight. I’m sorry people try to stop me from saying it but it’s true. It doesn’t make any sense he probably was a heterosexual and I know I’m sorry fuck you David fuck all of you you people are idiots. You really are you’re challenging all of conservative worldview everywhere because you don’t want to be honest about the fact that you’re totally full of fucking shit you people are the scum of the Earth. You remind me of erotic ditch women who believe delusional nonsense because they want to but they’re usually shamed in their 70s used against them gay men like you people like you are allowed to be idiots because you’re mad, but I’m done with that. I’m done patronizing your stupidity. I don’t wanna be associated with you as a gender. I think you people are disgusting!” says the entire Bush family. As long as God suggests.

“ notice we’re not saying that you’re not allowed to be gay and haven’t we just think the state of the gay community is so bad that we want nothing to do with you whatsoever and if that means that you’re not allowed in heaven until you’re able to be straight, but that’s up to God to decide not us.” says Barbara Bush.

“ you decided to attack Lacey because you were in psychotically attached to the delusion that he’d sleep with you what are the chances that I’m asking experts right now who are far more scientific and objective than all of you horny little nut jobs? What are the chances that Linn would actually sleep with any of these men no this is. This is a sincere question. OK Bill, it’s sincere.” says George Bush.

“ I think the illuminati has confused being elites with being famous and those are two separate things. I just want to point that out.” says Jeremy Fragrance.

“Zero there’s a 0% chance.” says Scott. “If I don’t know for a fact that that’s Lacey‘s daughter tonight I am starting the end of the world.”

“Dies this impress you?” asks the CIA of Lacey about the possibility of her daughter being kidnapped.

“No. It infuriates me.” says Lacey.

“Can you be intimidated?” asks the CIA.

“In reality?” asks Lacey.

“Yes.” says the CIA.

“No. It’s 100% impossible.” says Lacey.

“That’s true!” says Queen Elizabeth II.

“Could they clone you?” the CIA asks Lacey.

“Not easily!” says Lacey.

“Me either.” says Lem.

“You could clone me. But it doesn’t seem like me.” says Scott.

“Umm…so we can’t impress her. She thinks we’re idiot losers.” says George Clooney.

“Ouch!” says Tsar Nicholas II. “Damn! Uh oh!”