“You Have Everything I Have Nothing” by A Native American Woman

September 29th, 2024

“What does that mean?” asks Billy.

“We’re not that rich, Lem.” says Jake.

“Why WON’T YOU SLEEP WITH ME!?” yells a woman at Lem.

“Because you’re not my type. And you’re not my wife.” says Lem, simply.

“Help!! I’m melting!” she says.

“Can we kill her?” he asks Sir Winston Churchill.

He laughs. “No. And then she’d be dead.”

“I have cooking to do. Excuse us.” says Lacey.

Later.

“ mask you something why is it so all or nothing for you I know who you are you have a house that you rent you have a fairly handsome husband supposedly who’s black who you’re seemingly in love with and who’s in love with you you told her and I think it’s probably true that you are beautiful for an older woman, but still maybe you’re not but this is who you said you were and what if that’s who you are you’re not you know the most amazing looking woman and you’re not my type but you are beautiful so I don’t quite understand what it is that you’re looking for you’re just not with my type you’re not my wife you have a husband already he’s handsome you have a decent house you have some pretty things all that beadwork. That’s not a lot, but the truth is that’s more than some people have and I bet you have a television and running water. I bet it’s somewhat drinkable and a toilet. I bet you have a fairly clean house. I am sure you eat you have an area to do gardening, even if it’s very slight, you still do a little gardening here and there You have fairly decent health I am lost. What in the heck is it that you are so sure of when you say you’re destitute you have nothing.” says Billy.

“ how wealthy is Lacey though?” she says.

“ how wealthy is my wife they have a net worth in reality of about four or 5 million but it’s not liquid for the most part but that’s basically what they have in reality so that’s not extraordinarily impressive it’s not impressive to some people but those are they don’t matter because those are people who have like 8 million and live in Los Angeles or 20 million and frankly, they still are smart enough to know that what she has is like wealthy it’s just not like as wealthy as some people but she still is upper class like you do understand the concept that she’s upper class but she’s not like the top of upper class so there’s lower middle class there’s a middle class yes are used to be working class. I’m just grouping that in with lower middle, there’s upper middle class but that’s all middle class it is it’s all middle class she’s in the upper class but she is in the lower upper class. Does that make sense?” says Billy.

“ is she kind of like was it Becky or something like that on full house? Is that kind of what Lacey is like in a way ?” she says.

“ yes very slightly there is a similarity between those two, but does that does what I’m saying about class makes sense?” says Lem.

“ hey so in the old money is a Louis Vuitton more impressive or is that just her being quirky?” she says.

“ does it make sense or not?” says Billy.

“ oh, yes it it does. Make sense William if that’s your name.” she says.

“ yes, if there’s reincarnational, my name was actually William, but I went by Billy. I do you know if you think of me being named Billy if you look at my pictures, I start to see him straight and it starts looking weird and keep in mind if there’s reincarnation, that’s Lacey’s perspective.

My family giving me the middle name of Lemoyne was a really cruel thing to do because it’s sort of doomed me to wondering if I was homosexual I mean what kind of a name for a little boy is Lemoyne? I know my parents were not trying to make me homosexual. It was a Cruel thing to do and they tried to shorten it to make it seem masculine But it never really quite worked and instead it was just weird if Lacey was there it would’ve made sense it would’ve been that I seem kind of hip like you know 1950s cool cat but but she wasn’t there so no Billy is a far better name for me in a way Especially if there’s reincarnation just to give you a sense of who I am.

Oh, why did she buy Louis Vuitton? Part of it is is is sort of a status symbol and old money. Old money is very quiet about what they like. It’s probably not what you think and people won’t say that but then they tell you what they like anyway, and it may or may not even be true so yeah, there is a little bit of a tip of information there for you. You might be smarter carrying a real Louis Vuitton, than you think. Yeah trailer park park pretty carries a small Louis Vuitton and she also acts like it’s a very nice bag but she’s very calm and chill about it. That woman is not stupid. I think she may have been raised in a fairly middle-class house even if they were poor, they could’ve been something slightly middle-class about them so And I don’t know what her great grandparents were like. I worry that they are victims of the Civil War depending on how long her ancestors have been in the US. I worry that they were pretty upper middle class. Yeah I know that’s shocking if she ever reads this, if your family was in the south before the Civil War, they weren’t rich, but they were upper middle class Before the Civil War. They had ascended to position not notable wealth, but they were well off. They had a nice house. They were upper middle class. They were a nice family. So if that’s true there you go that’s depressing isn’t it? I hope that she heard that in her spirit if it’s true because sometimes she says things like you can make it you just have to try and that’s true but it might not be that simple for some people.

Speaking of which, no your people have definitely been damaged and I’m incredibly sorry I don’t know what to say if there’s reincarnation my wife and I have tried to explain, we came here looking for land it was survival to some degree but then at the end of the day it we know, became something that we would not have condoned.

Oh, so yes, part of it to answer her question. Part of it is an old money. Upper class thing is very specifically old money possibly because I think that it’s sort of an admission of of a lack but then also sort of a status symbol it’s both so it’s like no I don’t have 10 virgins but I’ve been around for a while and I know that my Louis Vuitton isn’t going to go out of style ever and I know that that’s just what looks good so then there’s that but then it’s also where did all my money go where did all my money come from? Maybe I’ve been around for a while and your new.

I don’t think trailer pro pretty is a snob. I think she’s a pretty nice person from what I can tell but if there’s a teeny teeny tiny bit of her that could even be offensive to people I have a feeling I hope someone tells her in a kind of way, that really is a very nice trailer that they moved into. It’s not a house, but it is actually very nice and she reminds me a little bit of my wife in the way that she thinks of things she is fortunate she really actually is fortunate they’re not rich but she’s there fortunate. That’s a nice property. That’s a nice trailer park. She has a nice mop it’s not cheap, she has a nice Louis Vuitton and frankly yeah she does miss her teeth but she looks gorgeous. I know I’m not saying that as a gay man but what I mean is it objectively she is gorgeous and she has extensions those teeth look beautiful so as much as I know, she’s trying to seem encouraging to people, she may need to be careful and I hope her spirit hears that you know I’m not interested in her. I’m just saying as a kind person and be careful.

And then the rest of it yes, it’s just Lacey‘s personality. She really doesn’t like the way that mermaid hair maze bags have become used. No, she prefers the Jane Birkin approach so in a sense but it’s not ironic for Lacey, whether Mary, Kate and Ashley Olsen, Olsen wear their bags is more Lacey style but it’s authentic. It’s not an act because she is more old money than they are to be blunt and so I’m sorry and she’s also just older and her style so That it’s more like Jane Birkin herself Lacey style is more in line with the actual Jane Birkin and so she would prefer a Louis Vuitton because it’s still kind of preppy but it’s not. It’s not quite as offensive as of a Birkin or a Kelly those bags are so offensive to people and they’re really extraordinarily expensive, and it just feels icky to her The thing is she would buy him she would buy one for a collectors piece and then probably rarely ever wear it. She would buy a few loaner Traviada‘s but in her mind having one bag that is worth $10,000 that say or 15,000 is just sick there’s something just incredibly offensive about that to Lacey and frankly even if she bought three Traviada is it still would equal a $15,000 Birkin it’s just it’s too damn much for one bake DeLacey it’s gross it’s it’s literally gross it’s perverse to Lacey. Where is Louis Vuitton is just a beautiful bag. It’s just a bag.” says Billy.

Wow

“ I did not write that. Wow there somebody else did who’s dead and I’ll just leave it. “ says Billy.

“ do you know we really should figure out if there’s reincarnation if there is, I’m sorry for my mothers death. I know I didn’t have anything to do with it but I feel bad.” says Prince William.

“ to be honest with you I’m not sure how to address you.” says Billy.

“ I know I respect that absolutely.” says Queen Camilla.

“ oh, how do you want to address him?” says a woman.

“ who are you?” asks Billy.

“ you’re right never mind.” says Princess Kate.

“ you know I think he probably wants to say that it’s his fault but he doesn’t think that he should because he’s worried he’ll misunderstand.” says Lacey.

“ that makes sense.” says a woman.

“ how do you think you’re responsible?” says Woody Allen.

“ well because when I thought I was gay if there’s reincarnation, I left a lot of people open for assault in my family.” says Billy.

“ if that’s true what if you’d figured it out would you have would anything of happened at all?“ says a Diana.

“ oh, no, no nothing if I’ve been able to figure it out before Jack did even too much damage theoretically wouldn’t have been too much of a problem. It was really when he entered the White House that everything blew up.” says Lem.

“Why?” says Diana.

“ because they took pictures of me and film of me that made me seem like I was happy and in love and I wasn’t before that it was unclear what was going on but when I was in the White House they played it up. I’m not sure why entirely or if I do know why I don’t know how to talk about it, but they did. They made a very big deal out of it and it made it. It was a lie I mean it’s obvious if you really look that I’m straight and I’m not necessarily even as happy as I seem, but they made me seem really in love with him and happy part of the reason why is because I think they thought that if they did that it at least would make people think that everything was happy. I’m over this is on the brink of the sexual so-called sexual revolution so their idea was to be like well maybe it’s a little weird but everyone’s happy how bad could it be whereas if I’d walked around, looking serious and nerdy, and kind of unkempt, which is really more who I was because I was straight and miserable and drunk half the time people would have sought yeah, I was smoking and drunk. It was miserable, but people would have sought if they saw that that there was something wrong with Jack. They would’ve thought that they thought that there was something amiss. They would’ve picked up on the fact that there was something as you would say toxic about the whole family and so they just played it off like they were elites and confusing don’t think about it too much.” says Billy.

“ that makes sense.” says the woman. “I know you’re right you guys are right I I I am more middle-class than having nothing.” she says.

” so then why did you say that?” says Lacey,

“ I did write her that enough and it in a direct message. Because I felt like that’s what you were saying I felt like that was the idea of your of your whole aesthetic. Or that’s what I wanted to think.” says the woman.

“ Why would you want to think that that’s so clearly not what she was saying.” says Queen Elizabeth II.

“ did you understand what I was even saying?” she says to Lacey.

“ I have no idea no it was terrifying. I have no fucking clue.” says Lacey.

“ you must be retarded. Yeah you’re a total fucking retard. Fuck you’re fucking retarded!” she yells at Lacey.

“ no that’s clinically evidentially absolute nonsense try again.” says Lacey.

“ I refuse to except that you don’t know what I’m talking about!” she says nodding.

“ but that’s the reality of the situation so you’re gonna have to deal with that. I’m sorry you chose to talk to her.” says the CIA.

“ why can’t you just explain what is this mysterious, fucking nonsense that you people do all the time I know she’s not schizophrenic you need to actually you know use your brain if you have one and explain.” says a woman.

“ but you not like you don’t you don’t know what that to Omai God Billy do you know what I’m talking about?” she says.

“ i’ve got to be honest with you I don’t even know I mean I was voted out of office ugly for some reason I’m not an idiot people thought my relation. Diana was a fool just because people are smart or elite doesn’t mean that they literally know everything we really have never heard this one possibly I hate I don’t think love knows either, you’d be surprised at how many of these inside jokes are kind of inside joke, so to speak, can you please bother to explain yourself.” says Sir Winston Churchill.

“ boy oh boy, this is a hell of a lot to ask of me geez!” says a ghost of a dead poor man from the 1800’s, mocking this woman.

“ you really have no idea what I’m talking about at all?” she says.

“ no they really don’t they really don’t they really don’t know I swear you’re gonna have to explain yourself.” says the dead poor man.

“ can I be honest with you? You seem you seem like I saw the account you seem slightly poor not like not like actually poor but like you might’ve struggled at some point in your life I don’t think she ever has it that way so I think you actually might not be talking to her and making sense and I think you actually need to stop being so presumptuous and arrogant and maybe actually tried explaining yourself.” says the CIA.

“ you’re very pretty!” she says to Lacey.

“ where the fuck are you going with this?” says Lacey.

“ oh my God I have a condescending tone OK fuck just go with it for a few more minutes. You’re very pretty.” she says.

“Okay???” says Lacey.

“ I wish I was as pretty as you.” she says.

“Okay???” says Lacey.

“ it makes me mad.” she says.

“ I think that’s kind of stupid. I think it’s a rational in a logical I know I have no sympathy for you, but I do have a concern for your welfare and I wish you well.” says Lacey.

“ OK but it just makes me mad.” she says.

“ and I cannot acknowledge that as a valid emotion, although I do have concern for you as a person.” says Lacey.

“ OK maybe it’s not valid but that’s how I feel.” she says.

“ Well, I’m sorry you feel that way.” says Lacey.

“ oh shit you weren’t saying that at all.” she says. “ OK you know I don’t think anyone had a clue where you were going with stuff.”

“ I made it pretty fucking crystal clear. Would you like me to have spelled it out for you, and every fucking language to have ever existed?” says Lacey.

“ you’re not passive aggressive at all.” she says.

“ I don’t like passive aggressiveness I think it’s disgusting.” says Lacey.

“ OK you are probably very elite well and I can’t get behind what you’re saying though.” she says.

“ do you have any idea where she say any of the stuff Lacey?” says a woman.

“To be perfectly honest with you no fucking clue whatsoever.” says Lacey.

“oh my God I told my family that I understood the English people because I did so fucking well and most of my analysis was way off.” says Kick.

“ I am no I just I can’t get behind your message I don’t think.” she says to Lacey.

Lacey nods. “ why is that? “

She smiles. Thinks. “ that bothers you doesn’t it?”

“ Yes.” says Lacey.

“ I think part of us I don’t understand and then I think part of it is that you could be confused and that I think part of part of it is that it just doesn’t seem accurate.” she says.

“ what part doesn’t seem accurate?” says Lacey.

“ I am do you realize that I’m full of it?” she says.

“When?” says Lacey

She rolls her eyes.

Later.

“You’re Jack!” she says with a wink.

“Ha! Now that I’m trying to get him to talk he’s very quiet.” says Lacey.

“Jack how are you in her?” asks the woman.

“I’m not. I am right behind her.” he says.

“Have I been talking to you?” she says.

“Yes.” he’s forced to admit.

“Ha! Funny.

So.

Would you be angry at the perfume community in her situation?” she says.

“ I would have them eating out of my hand!” he says scoffing confidently at Lacey.

“I was trying to tell you you were dumb.” she says to Lacey.

“Oh! I heard that!” says Lacey.

“Okay?” she says.

“I had no idea what you meant.” says Lacey.

“ I meant you were stupid.” she says.

“ oh dear God! How fucking long do you wanna go on this? I’ve been channeling you against my will for over a year and most the time I ignore you. What the fuck is your fucking problem?” says Lacey,

“ I’m sorry you really do mean it the nuanced way that I hate him. OK let’s go somewhere private I feel like you’re not somewhere private.” she says.

“ all right now what?” says Lacey.

“ I meant that you have a lot of money and a lot of beauty and I don’t. I am somewhere beautiful and I have some things but not just not as much and basically I was just telling you to be nice.” she says.

“ OK um but did you understand what I had gone through with these people?“ says Lacey.

“ no, I didn’t bother even thinking that you had any possible possible actual grievance that would matter.” she says.

“Well OK but then that was arrogant and backward of you and hateful.” says Lacey.

“ because I didn’t bother considering your perspective at all?” she says.

“ yeah I’m a human too. Isn’t that something?” says Lacey.

“ you know you are better than me, and it actually really does piss me off.” she says.

“Oh so you’re a snake? You’re a bitter fucked up bitch snake, worthless except to Satan himself?” says Lacey.

“ that’s not what I was thinking what happened in this conversation.” she says.

“ do you know everything don’t you? You’re a fucking expert of everything?” says Lacey.

“ can I ask you something when they do ghost explorations and they ask people to do stuff and then they try to and then they’re like thank you and they talk to them like they’re talking to a retarded child does that piss you off at a personal level?” she says.

“ it’s very condescending. Yes it does. People are so fucking arrogant today.” says Lacey.

“ a lot of people actually are.” says God.

“ I just couldn’t understand where you’re coming from and I assume the worst of you and I didn’t bother examining your perspective because I didn’t think there could possibly be one.” she says.

“ how is that logical? That’s not logical.” says Lacey.

“ yeah you’re right no and the truth is I ate I knew you probably had had some thing happen to you and I wanted to be mean to you and try to push your buttons cause I knew you had some perspective but I just couldn’t believe that you were that well-off and I thought, even if she is who would do something like that so it’s like no I can’t imagine that she’s actually that well off because I’m not seeing evidence of it. I mean you didn’t seem that well off to me, but then I thought you know what, even if that’s actually what she saying is actually true she must be an idiot because I have ancestors with statues. What difference does that make?” she says.

A woman who’s poor weeps.

“ I cannot be that wrong!” she says.

“YOU ARE!!!” she yells.

“ no, I cannot be that wrong!” she says.

“ give me to kill you you fucking worthless bitch!?” the poor woman yells at her.

“ no I cannot be that wrong. I am an innocent person. What are you doing? Oh dear God I’m so I’m controlling this woman right now. She doesn’t know but she has demon possessed at times and she thinks she’s just experiencing something profound. The truth is I am Jack Kennedy, and I found a way inside of you and you don’t know the difference because you’re not a Christian and so you’re very stupid spiritually and I think you’re beneath me because you think you know more but you’re really very dumb and so I got inside of you and control your thoughts because you let me feel good. It seems like you’re inspired by something you’re fine by me you’re silly bitch you inspired by me.” confesses JFK. “ why I am at this right now because the other day Lacey took my penis and kicked it and twisted it into a knot in that hurt.”

“ OK so you got me to say stupid stuff and I can’t process this properly?” says the woman.

“ yeah for the most part I do this with a lot of people who she interacts with it’s a past time for me.” he says.

“ OK you know it’s weird because now that you’re outside of me, I actually feel like I can process and it is sort of a rational to think that someone would have their own perspective.” she says.

“ well, you should be careful because sometimes demons do try to possess you when you’re doing your spiritual work as you call it there are demons who try to possess you.” says JFK.

“ OK so I just have to ask cause I’m confused you went on a long diatribe about social class because you were legitimately angry?” she asks Lacey.

“ yes!” says Lacey.

“ OK mom I’m just starting to wake up to reality. So I’m going to imagine that I’m talking to a very deep sensitive genius version of Karen…Smith.” she says.

“ yeah that’s creepy isn’t it? Karen.” Lacey says.

“oh OK 00 dear God I’m dumb oh God I like that teacher except him stop Tina Fey Lacey oh shit! OK um oh shit! Chris, why did you do this to us? I am so much like you. I am not that cool in reality and really you’re annoying because a lot of people like us realize that at some point that we’re not these people and I just I wonder when you wake up and realize that.

Oh, OK there’s no way that you’re writing every function that every fun fact on this block and changing the words that’s impossible I mean I think you are genius but I don’t think anyone could do that. I think it’s way too much work considering how fast you do it in the fact that you’re nonstop I mean I think it’s plausible but pretty hard to believe.

So I’m gonna try to think that you are channeling people or something like that I wanted to think you were schizophrenic because I was jealous of the fact that you may have caught a ghost on camera and then I had to do with the reality that you really weren’t crazy I hated you you’re so much I mean oh my God I hated you.

And when I noticed that you didn’t give a shit about me, and that it was entirely one-sided on my part and I was just like a dork obsessed with you when you really notice me beyond just like being pleasant to me, I realize that I was a loser, and that you really probably weren’t a jerk or insane.

And I thought no she probably does have some sort of explanation at the same time I just I couldn’t handle you the truth is you’re right about people they state that we are a lot of people are very bourgeois and obnoxious and we’re pretty fucking abrasive and and we’ve destroyed democracy with our self importance of righteous bitch attitudes.

Because we’re about as dumb as my IQ is about 130- my IQ is about 100 and- and my IQ is about 115.” she says.

“ or even lower.” says someone.

“ OK so what is your point?” says the CIA.

“ I am a bill Billy I’m sorry that this happened.” says Mira, in horror.

“ can you just complete your thought?” says Mr. Hotel Impossible.

“ are OK, so um, my thought is in you you can’t do this.” she says.

“ I can’t do what?” says Lacey.

“ you can’t write this I wish someone had loved you. You can’t write this!” she says. “ and I mean in reference to not this blog not even this is interesting, but no like the post about social class like you can’t do that you just you cannot do that!”

“ why why?” says Lacey.

“ did you want that post by your legal husband if I posting it?” she says.

“ yes, I did.” says Lacey.

“ and I bet he probably was just passive it was like I don’t know I guess so I don’t know?” she says.

“ somewhat.” says Lacey.

“ yeah I can see why you’re not with him so he might be a loving person but that was not helpful. I don’t think it makes sense. I don’t think it made sense.” she says.

“ why?” says Lacey.

“ oh, OK I’m just lots of reasons! Lots of reasons!” she says.

“ OK like what?” says Lacey.

“ what were you expecting to happen?” she asks.

“ well, I thought that it may convince people to reevaluate the situation.” says Lacey.

“ oh, is that your impression of of the current western society they’re all incredibly, rational, even keel, well minded people that you can fairly easily ration rationalize with sincerely is that who you think we are?” she says.

“ yes, I think I think I needed a certain subconscious level that was the impression I was given.” says Lacey.

“ that’s interesting. Oh wow oh wow yeah OK so you think they were all just super oh wow like intellectually wow elites like wow like we’re quick and then it’s just like no I mean the zipper so smart if I could just tell them this doesn’t make sense based on the social parameters of class the way you’re relating to me is offensive and I just want you to think we should be talking about this, so just stop what you’re doing reevaluate it and come back with a real insult because this isn’t working and I’m getting hurt on a level that is very deep and profound and I’m losing my patience.” she says.

“ yes, that is basically what I thought.” says Lacey.

“ well, thank you for thinking so highly of us. I don’t think we’re really all that I want to say together. I don’t think we’re quite that impressive. When did you start thinking we were that impressive?” she says.

JFK starts crying.

“ I thought you were that impressive probably when I was about. Oh, let me think may be five or six.” says Lacey.

“ OK do you know if there’s reincarnation Lacey that makes a lot of sense to me someone gave you that idea and you just thought OK sure I’ll go with it it’s a little weird did you think it was a little hard to believe?” she says.

“ yes Yep there’s a lot of things that have been a little hard to believe in my life though including this conversation but yes.” says Lacey.

“ it’s not true. I’m sorry that must’ve been a bright spot for you in a way but no, we’re really not quite that cognitively even keel we’re not we’re not like that.” she says.

“ then I have no idea how to relate to people. I have no idea what would you have suggested I do given how people were treating me. I mean you did the same thing to me, but it was a lot less offensive.” says Lacey.

“were these people making themselves aggressively heard?” she says.

“ yes!” says Lacey.

“ then I would probably have been in your shoes. Oh my word so you don’t feel any sort of pride or if you do it just seems sort of like nothing. Yeah it’s just like that that’s the way it is so then there’s really nothing joyful about your wealth or prestige in that way, you have a good eye you can find things that are worth a heck of a lot more than what you pay for them. Is everyone under value stuff every once in a while and you always catch them at it I am I have no I have no idea I’ve never had to analyze this before. I cannot imagine what it would be like to have people harassing me if I was a celebrity, although I vandalize that I could not imagine what it would be like to be who you are, and then have people constantly harassing me and trying to make me feel inferior to them that we get really hard emotionally to handle is it almost like a sensory issue?” she says.

“ yes it is.” says Lacey.

“ what happens if it goes to far?” she says.

“ am I? I don’t know there’s times I’ve wondered if I’m going to have a stroke and I’m not actually kidding.” says Lacey.

“ I can’t guarantee it but it’s actually possible like medically. She is psychically spiritually been pushed that far.” says Lem.

“ what would that look like?” she says.

“ things will go blurry and then she’d have a hard time breathing and then she’d have a seizure and then she’d vomit in and then she’d pass out um and she would either have a heart attack or possibly her and her breathing would drop down really low, like her oxygen saturation will fall out and then she’d have a heart attack and I think she’s probably she probably die.” says Lem.

“just from us being constantly bitchy, and never loving her to a psychotic degree.” she says.

“ do you know you’re not really in charge of me do you comprehend that or should I find someone to interpret it for us?” says Lem.

“ what is wow arm it is that what it is?” she says.

“ yep that that is definitely what would happen and yeah you’re kissing my ass right now what I just told you to go fuck yourself why are you being so nice to me you’re not that you’re not even half that nice to Lacey how smart do you really think you are and how were things? Do you really think you are how about you be a little more humble and stop making yourself look like a fucking idiot bitch and she might not die or do you want her to die I’m confused?” says Lem.

“ no I don’t want her to die is it worse than that.” she says.

“ yes, it’s far worse than that earlier today there was a literal bizarre moment where some thing went from behind to in front of her with literally almost no explanation. You’re really I’m sorry that was a very stupid way to respond to you, but I am incredibly angry. You don’t seem to understand your way out of line you were bizarre in the way that you approached her you’re all not understanding the amount of respect that she deserves and it’s psychotic it’s psychotic It’s completely psychotic it’s not like you’re kind of over your head is like a defense mechanism were you don’t wanna see what you’re doing wrong and so then you’re acting in playing victim oh, you have everything and I have nothing. No no no no it’s it’s a little less than that right it’s a little less dramatic you’re just saying that because you want to avoid the reality of what’s happening and you want to play victim and make it seem stupid stupid and it’s not stupid at all and you don’t wanna deal with the reality of it.” says Lem.

Later.

“What did you do?” says the woman.

“I took a pie out of the oven, feed my plants, and dusted off a record player.” says Lacey.

“What kind of pie?” asks the woman,

“Apple.” says Lacey.

“ OK so I don’t think there’s anything you can do. I can’t think of any way to deal with those people. I’m sure you tried ignoring them. I sure you try. I’m sure you try to be nice I’m sure that you tried and was writing that post kind of like a last resort for you?” she says.

“Yes.” says Lacey.

She takes a deep breath.

“ I just touched her hair.” says Maggie Smith. “It’s real!” she says.

“ did you feel her touching your hair?” asks the CIA.

“ yes she’s pulling on it again right now it’s it’s just on one side of my head and now it’s just it’s just the the right side of my head there’s by my ear yeah by my ear she just pulled my hair very slightly I mean I literally felt my hair like moving.” says Lacey.

“ she moved your hair!??” says a man.

“ yes!” says Lacey.

“ did you ask her to or did something just start moving your hair?” he says.

“ nope something just started moving my hair.” says Lacey.

“Oh wow.” says a reader.

“ that’s not a scary feeling for you at all. I feel like if those are demons you’d be scared or upset by them or?” says a man.

“ I don’t think it’s easy to contact the other side and I think there’s some people who might not know that and I think that that’s scary.” says Maggie.

“ Siri telling us that sometimes you really are delusional and a lot of us. Don’t realize how hard it is to certain who were who is or talking to?” says psychic.

“ yes it’s not about social class or intelligence. It’s not some thing that anyone should be doing but there are some people who are able or have heard from the other side so to speak and yet it’s really not something that people should try to do.” says Maggie.

Later.

“Lem how the hell are they worth $4?” asks Ken.

“Trajectory.” says Lem.

“Really!?” says Ken.

“Yes! I personally think it was necessary to have it that way.” says Lem.

“Inheritance.” says the woman.

“Yes.” says Lem.

“Lacey…I don’t have that much.” says the woman. “You understand that. Right?”

“No.” says Lacey.

“Okay but you do kinda?” she says.

“It seems…likely. But it’s very unclear.” says Lacey.

“Oh! Hmm.” she says. She laughs. “How much do you think I could be theoretically worth.”

Lacey thinks. “$25 million at most.” says Lacey.

“Do you think it’s possible I was homeless?” she says.

“Shortly? Yes.” says Lacey.

“You make very few assumptions. Ever.” she says.

“Yes.” says Lacey.

“Oh wow. Ahh…huh.

Your way of doing yes the correct way. But for most people it’s too time consuming. So they get used to finding shortcuts.

I assumed you weren’t ultra rich. Was that offensive to you?” she says.

“Yes. Simply because I don’t actually think it’s that certain. And it just irritates me.” says Lacey.

“She’s right. Looking at her social media? It’s so not.” says a woman in North Oaks.

“But what status symbols do they use?” she says.

“Why would you expect that!?” says Lacey.

“You don’t?” she says.

“NEVER.” says Lacey.

“You look for evidence.” she says.

“Always. Like a sleuth.” says Lacey.

“So status symbols mean nothing to you?” she says.

“They’re insulting.” says Lacey.

“I agree. Truly! I know what she means.” says Putin.

“Why?” asks a woman.

“It’s so fake.” says Putin.

“You either are or not. Why make it a game of charades?” says Lacey.

Putin smiles.

“ status symbols genuinely look like charades to Lacey?” says her cousin.

“Yes and then you’re supposed to guess the proper social status. It’s so freaking stupid. I’m sorry I don’t have time for that bullshit.” says Lacey.

“ but you use them!” says Casi.

“No I don’t not really if I’ve ever use them it’s in jest.” says Lacey.

“ what’s the joke?” she says.

“ do you know what ask Jesus because I don’t know what truly does come to me is that I think compared to what some people have most peoples wealth as a joke and yet it’s also really not because if you’re not, it’s very complicated but essentially I’m sort of poking fun at myself and getting out at the same time.” says Lacey.

“ who are you comparing yourself to?” she says.

“ oh I am comparing myself to the most wealthy British aristocrats of the 1800s sincerely.” says Lacey.

“ OK you are since when have you been doing that?” she says.

“ since I was a child. I’m not making this up.” says Lacey.

“ OK how healthy are those people?” she says.

“ and I mean there probably were gazillions or something.” says Lacey.

“ I mean she’s right they basically owned Africa know it’s not stupid she’s very unusually intelligent and she’s right. If you actually wanna be real about it, and she always is Leon diamond mines, they’ll Ruby mines they all gold mines. They owned all the wealth of Africa, and the potential of Africa, they owned oil they own coal she’s talking about people who literally would seem unbelievably like they would be even possible to us today. The people that she’s describing our people were wealthier than we can imagine people being I’m sorry talk about the billionaires of today she’s right there with pedes compared to those people and part of it is that people make it simplistic and they just make it about the value in the price of stuff but in reality it’s also about the product itself and the context.” says an African.

“ no, I mean she’s absolutely right, absolutely right.” she says. “ I hate what those people did with stuff Lacey.”

“ yeah but from my perspective, most those people did it for a reason.” says Lacey. “ meaning most of them are not heartless terrible people. I’m sorry you like that narrative but it’s bullshit. I’m sorry it’s bullshit.”

“ what is true to you?” she says.

“ I want read someone say I am that narcissism is the real problem and I don’t think that’s necessarily completely false Christians call it evil that man was calling in narcissism and to me it’s essentially the same thing and the proper name for it really is evil, but it might not be evil people. It might be evil world, so there could be a number of evil things happening, and one of them would be narcissistic people but there’s a lot of other forms of evil.” says Lacey.

“ you were there no I’m sorry I believe in reincarnation I think you really are just an unusual person and most people don’t have the intelligence to just let themselves thing for five seconds about what you’re actually saying what are they doing Lacey you remember or will just assume that’s possible and maybe it’s not but let’s just say that it is what the fuck actually happened?” she says.

“ name a topic there’s a lot there.” says Lacey.

“ oh, Canada.” she says.

“ what part?” says Lacey.

“ the children.” she says.

“ are you talking about the ones the children who are Native American?” says Lacey.

“ yes!” she says.

“ they were beating them up they’re beating them up.” says Lacey.

“ you guys knew about that?” she says.

“ Yes, it was discussed.” says Lacey. “ I think it was in the paper literally but it was not him. I mean they wouldn’t have said they were beating up children in Canada. It was more implied, but no people knew.”

“ so they were beating them up?” she says.

“ if I was there yes I think I read about it in the paper people talked about it I think lemon I talked about it.” says Lacey.

“ what was going on!?” she says.

“ oh, let me think I want to say. There was some sort of paranoia in the royal crown about loss of power or control and a little boy. Let me think if they were letting it happen or I was sort of tolerating it in because they were sending a message to the Russians?” says Lacey. “ and the idea was in the hood see him well they didn’t wanna look weak so the idea was we we OK so I think this I’ll just say it and this is terrible but I’m just going to say it to be honest a lot of those native children were very very disobedient and they really were. I don’t think that they actually necessarily were disobedient like genuinely disobedient, but they were very much still entrenched in the old ways of your people of the native people and so what comes to me is that they were wild in someway, it was hard to have them in the classroom, they either didn’t want to sit still or they get into pranks with the teachers that they play pranks or they would do things and that sounds silly but I’m being serious it’s like they would. They would try to disassemble the class the order of the class somehow at times where they would start singing or they would start doing things that were just bizarre and they were sweet. Very obviously they’re innocent sweet children but that’s not how they were perceived, they were perceived by these people who are really frankly kind of annoying as being troublesome. This is weird. This is one of things that irritates me if I’m reincarnated about the whole Jackie love bullshit story, but that’s the thing these kids actually were troublemakers they were real. They were the real muck rackers the real muckers and they were really sticking out to the man so to speak. They were the real deal my husband and that fucking idiot jack at Choate. What the fuck did they even do I mean what the fuck they have even been doing?

No, these kids actually were really wild. I mean they were actually wild. It wasn’t just some stupid fucking bisexual Irish jack ass as imagination those kids actually really were wild kids if I’m reincarnated I suspect this is what happened so they started. You know it was like they just received the children as being different, so it’s kind of like in there already was that perception of Native Americans but it was it’s kind of like these are just normal kits normal kids normal white children know how to sit in a classroom and follow the teachers orders and behave. Well, of course they did because they’re in a custom to that. That’s our culture in the west sitting in a classroom at a desk in at at not trying to assemble yourselves in some different sort of way or sing during class or do things that are out of order so to speak I think of this is true that those kids probably were basically scared, and they were trying to sort of defend themselves psychologically by banding together And probably trying to have fun. I think they were just trying to have fun. I think there are sweet, intelligent children who are just trying to have fun with each other but the teeth the teachers were idiots and didn’t know that because they didn’t take time to really understand the culture, so they just push the kids around so to speak.

*Lacey cries*

I’m sorry that really bothers me.

*she calms herself*

So basically, these children were really just defending themselves.

If I was there, maybe I was it maybe I’m just picking up at something that could’ve actually happened and it bothers me so if I was there, I know some of them got shot because people lost their tempers and they were alcoholics and they were abusive and they just shot the kids probably the sweetest ones were the most protective of everybody else. I had a shooting those ones first the tallest ones who felt like the leaders in the group the sweetest what is the wisest ones.

*she says in tears*

I’m sorry those children but remind me of my own children.” says Lacey.

“ do you know just to refresh your memory the Lacey post kids are all dead they’re all dead and I highly doubt that God let them go back to something more miserable. If if if there’s reincarnation, I don’t think he would allow that. I really don’t think that’s it his character.” says Donald Trump.

Lacey thinks.

“ that is actually quite comforting. Thank you.” says Lacey.

She thinks.

“ so anyway, if I was there that was what happened and we do about it um, um and oh no, we were at psychopaths mean yeah you have to grow up until actually. Oh dear God help me we were not psychopaths.

Oh open, so what happened if I was there is that we knew this was happening and it frankly was horrifying. But I but but it was sort of like oh that’s it that’s in America you know and see it I know that’s in case it’s a Canada but it’s sort of like distant you know like where is Canada somewhere in Norway and it’s not but I think in my head that’s maybe how I framed it is it’s like oh that’s you know very far away, and so you think OK well I guess that’s what they’re doing to those children I know I’m not making this up. If I was there, it was genuinely horrifying. It really was it was horrifying absolutely horrifying.

But it’s like what were you supposed to do about it go over there and stop them him well you could see radically try that but you know I’d have to ask my husband know this is real. I would’ve had to ask Glenn’s permission to do so first think about it, I could’ve just gone over there on my own and maybe you seen some TV special for women tried stuff like that. I’m sorry I’m telling you the reality of the situation. It would’ve been incredibly stupid for me to do that by myself.

No Sarah, plain and tall Dr. medicine woman I don’t know what the fuck your people are thinking. I could have gone over there on my own. This is before the women’s rights movement in large part I died in 1914 the women’s suffrage movement didn’t take off until the 1910s and the late tens were when it really took off so I died before this was even possible to I think before is impossible to vote right I mean it wasn’t even possible for a woman to vote until 04 was for five years after I died and I was an someone middle-aged adults potentially.

So the arrow know if you’re following but if this was the 1800s, the late 1800s early 1900s when these kids were being treated that way if I’m if I think I’m thinking of the right situation a lot of those schools with the Native American kids were in the early 1900s late 1800s in Canada, I mean that’s that there’s those are the ones I was thinking of him, and so the idea is that those teachers were really just scoundrels essentially, you know, gluttons for punishment and order, and they did what he does to those children and those poor children, him suffered a Normas Lee, and then a decent number of them got shot, and probably buried in some shallow grave outside of the school and some of the kids would get sick and just die. Literally just drop dead in the middle of class and then they bury them in a shallow grave. I’m sure they probably their head there had to be some pedophiles there. They were probably some kids that were just been to death, and they were just barreled bury them in a shallow grave.

Every knew but it was a matter of time self preservation you know you can’t just go fly over there there were planes and if you were over there what were you going to do so so people actually may have even tried to believe it or not there could’ve been some Christian missionaries that actually knew and actually did try to sort of reign certain people in or convince people that the kids should be taught differently, but not enough people dead no know if people dead enough and I’m sorry to be honest that that was when the Empire was starting to be stretched a little too thin in a way we were struggling financially. It was incredibly anxious time and so you know it’s like your battle, but it just felt like everything was falling apart. It was just this that in the other, I mean there were problems in a lot of places and you know pick your battles and so yeah it wasn’t as easy to fix that stuff as you might think but we did. It did extracted bother us to an extraordinary degree but the idea was just you can’t fix everything I guess you can’t fix everything maybe I wasn’t even there and I’m just picking up on something but it in case if I was know the idea is just you can’t fix everything, so you might have prayed for the kids you might have treated some people poorly in certain social circles. You might have wanted to go over there and do something about it but you know it’s not that different than today we hear about things now that people don’t just fly around trying to help people think about it but you know you hear about this is happening here. These people are suffering at XYN Z Pl. we don’t just fly around now either Rescuing each other so that’s part of the context is that we did care but that it it just wasn’t easy to fix him, so yeah it’ll be honest with you the lot is the schools ended up being seen poorly but yes, why did the crown allow it I think they thought that it sent a message. This is terrible. I think they thought that it sent a message to the Russians somehow Where it’s sort of like these kids are a problem the problem kits it’s hard to deal with Native Americans in Canada and the Russians knew that I think the Russians knew how difficult the native people were in North America so oh the idea was that we were going to mollycoddle them if I remember correctly if I was there It’s kind of like when we have problems with someone we put them in their place. We don’t let native people push us around and then that would send a message to anyone that was remotely interested that we were a people of strength and no one was going to get the better of us, even a small child couldn’t outsmart you know us because boy we were going to show them that we don’t fall for a cute face. I’m not kidding it’s a bad idea is that people were vicious and so the Russians I think we were thought good thing all these stupid sentimental British in there love poems in there you know tea in there they’re dancing in their culture they’re just weak and so you know they made it I think worst case scenario we thought maybe they would literally try to ambush us I mean this is before World War I, so people still thought in person on horses with knives, and I think we thought that they literally would come up behind us and try to steal our land or try to take some thing from us so we had to tell them no we’re not that slow. We’re not that weak. If if you know, we boy we’re always on guard you try to pull a fast one on us. We’re not stupid you can’t get the best of us you know wave at us from a distance and say hey there how are you Will turn around and shoot you. If we have to we just shot that child back there. Don’t try to charm us you jack asses it’s possible that the Russians could be very charming people or something and so we just felt like we should put a strong message out that day. We’re not going to take our land.” says Lacey.

Donald Trump laughs.

“ do you know if you were there? Thank you for trying to explain obviously that’s not comforting because those children suffered, but it does put it in some context of what people were thinking, potentially from the logic that went into allowing some thing that horrendous.” says the woman. “ did did they think that kids could be used as weapons of war?”

“ do you know I have a feeling that they were because children are innocent and so I think it’s possible that they snuck things in somehow using children more frequently than you might think.” says Lacey.

“ Lacey, how much does it seem like? You actually know this stuff versus her just hearing it?” says Jonah.

“ to be honest with you, Jonah it feels like I just know it which could still be a trick but that’s what it feels like.” says Lacey.

“ yeah why are people who believes in reincarnation for a while as you know just remind you, so maybe you really should think about that theologically for the sake of us about that?” says China.

“ i’m sorry if that was triggering to you, so those kids remind you of your actual children now?” she says.

“ what did you think she meant?” says Lem. “You know, you tend to get very angry at her for not reading your mind, but that was a very obvious reference to her children now.”

“Lem why are your kids the way that they are?” says her neighbor.

“ My son is smart he might even be smarter than you do you need me to kill you?” says Lem. “ he’s a very difficult man in heaven. I would not mess with him you’ll regret it.”

“ oh, OK um oh fuck. Lem…Why why are they so it just feels like they’re abrasive.” says her neighbor.

“ can I just stop in or jack some thing someone’s channeling the real Chris Hayes if there’s not an illuminati and I’m not saying that there isn’t one for sure but if there isn’t one, someone is channeling the actual Chris Hayes and I just want to say that I am very shocked at the thought that someone in the afterlife as I’m being told, this is my spirit good possibly consider attacking me by claiming that I am a terrible person because that is what happened if there is no illuminati. Somebody dead decided to singled me out and make me into a bad guy in her mind by pretending to be V to put my pretending to be me. And giving her the idea that she’s was talking to somebody alive. I don’t think she’s crazy at all because I don’t know how the super natural could work and if she doesn’t have schizophrenia, then she just doesn’t. I am I guess if I’m not in the illuminati and this whole thing has been profoundly evil is that she is Tom beings his daughter maybe not biologically but then again I don’t know if I can rule that out as they do. This is all in my subconscious, but they all do Read my spirit. Sincerely someone is channeling me right now possibly from his dad if there’s not an illuminati, I have a saying they might look like there’s something similar about them somehow is there, so that’s probably why she’s being so targeted and why someone keeps telling her that they were real and I bet there’s real ghosts and then demons in personating us so it could just be one big, practical joke and it might’ve been. Jack’s idea of a very clever, very evil way to make her look publicly crazy because he hates her so much.” says the 8 real Chris Hayes.

“ that makes sense and if there is no illuminati, that is pretty close to what actually happened.” says Ray Craft.

“ they have been moving things and making things look real to try to prove to her that there’s no illuminati for over eight years they’ve been making you guys say things on air that it is not because if she’s not schizophrenic they’ve made you guys say things on air to make it seem plausible that there is an illuminati based on illuminati theories and yes, they used her genius to trick her because she does notice patterns and so they created them and actually made up a very complex entirely plausible, illuminati using popular theories that are out there about what it is. Yeah just to be cruel to her because she noticed, and she’s honest and extremely inquisitive. And yeah, they’re essentially just try to make her look like a total fucking dumb ass and be scared shitless because they’ve use that promise to also try to highly attack her in the in the demonic, she really was throwing down the stairs.

Speaking of which this isn’t necessarily likely to be, or could very easily be in illuminati, it actually might not be quite that mysterious, and in which case that would be the real Chris Hayes trying to pretend that he’s not the same person who actually has been harassing her because she hurt his friend Diego’s feelings. Part of me hopes that you aren’t real even if I know a part of me really wishes and hopes that that that was that moment was real and that there really isn’t one, but I I do suggest that it is a little unlikely that there wouldn’t be one him it’s pretty unlikely that there isn’t an illuminati but but but you know if there isn’t one, thank you so much for piping up and saying some thing.” says Louis.

“ well do you want an honest answer or do you want me to bullshit you and make you feel better about yourself?” says Billy.

“ oh, give me a give me a real answer.” says her neighbor.

“ the truth is my kids if there is reincarnation or fully prepared to be part of the British aristocracy and that’s in their spiritual DNA and so my son would have been related to Winston Churchill, not distantly either he would’ve been related to him and they would’ve been actually so much close in age so he would’ve been a third second or third cousin of Winston Churchill, and he actually may have known him not closely but, sir Winston Churchill would’ve acknowledged my son in public and up parties, and they would have had a good time talking every once in a while, our family was somewhat close at times they were people who are somewhat close to each other as families can sometimes be if this is real and my son would have had very warm, friendly jovial comedic chats with Winston Churchill. If you’ve ever listened to Winston Churchill, he sounds like my son.

And I’m sorry this is where are you? People piss me off just as much as Lacey gets pissed off Winston Churchill wrote an autobiography. Have you ever read it?” says Lem.

“ lame you know I have never read the autobiography of Winston Churchill, but did not know I have not read Winston Churchill‘s autobiography. Is that really actually that are you? Are you serious?” says Lacey’s neighbor.

“ do you know Lacey is actually tried reading it and I think you’d be surprised how many people who are alive actually have read his biography, his autobiography. It’s a great bit more popular than you might think he was very popular.” says Lem.

“What is your son talk like!??” says Barb.

“ like Winston Churchill and my neighbor knows that and he can’t stand it. It drives him crazy.” says Lem.

“ What are you talking about though Lem like what’s- What do you mean?” he says.

“ the last time that you talked to him he was going on and on about what?” says Lem.

He smiles. “ was it some sort of fruit?”

“ yes and Winston Churchill in his autobiography, writes about stuff like that. A lot of people wrote about stuff like that. A lot of people were very focused on things like that back then.” says Lem.

“ so it really was considered like a good conversation to have to just discuss fruit?” he says.

“ yes, tropical fruits, but not just tropical fruits that might be appropriate for a child but the idea is that we loved discovering things like that. That was one of the great victories of the British empire. We’re all of our tropical fruits and it was a Marco social class so if you had a tropical fruit and you knew and it’s just it was, it was kind of a big deal to be able to eat tropical fruits so he is actually kind of paying you a complement if there’s reincarnation because he’s trying to he’s assuming and his sweet child like subconscious that you know about tropical fruits to, and that you’re just as fascinated by them as he is.” says Lem.

“ how much of his eccentricities are related to his learning style and how many of them are actually him being kind of like his mom and not being unaware of ESPN? Shall we say I’m not trying to be inappropriate but just I have a feeling he picks up on stuff at times, and, what is actually going on if there’s reincarnation, does he -“ he says.

“ so your son actually tries to have conversations with people in a similar style of speech to Winston Churchill?” says Barb.

“ yes, he does. If there’s reincarnation it’s because they’re in the same family and that’s part of how he thinks in his subconscious or in his spirit and if there’s not reincarnation, it’s because they’re just somehow slightly similar.” says Lem.

“Did you talk like him?” asks Lacey’s neighbor.

“ no no no he was a little. I mean he was younger than me. I think he was anyway let me think know if there’s a bee in Carnation yeah he was somewhat younger than me. and that just wasn’t my style of speech. oh yeah, and I did sound exactly like my father either you know and actually Winston Churchill was closer in age to my wife, but I think she might’ve been a little older than him to possibly him. Yes, she was a little older than him to he wasn’t you know, as he would have it as young as my son, but he would’ve been more similar to my son and his style of speech for whatever reason.” says Lem.

“ lame how do you fake being gay?” he says.

“ it’s getting late and I’m getting sick of this shit this has been explained to you guys so many times just like Lacey‘s wealth just like a lot of things. I’m sorry you can’t handle the reality of stuff but we don’t have an infinite amount of time to explain things to you over and over and over again.” says Lem.

“ how does your son know that he sounds the same?” says Barb.

“ if there’s reincarnation no he doesn’t he knows I’m his father but no no he doesn’t know that because she is he’s like his mother and that way if there even is reincarnation in the sense that that’s not what Christians believe and so there’s nothing there’s nothing clear to indicate that there’s reincarnation in the Bible to most people and there’s some things that suggest that it can’t be true to some people at the very least and so it is a very troubling topic and so theoretically if it did exist, it’s not some thing that Lacey or my son would ever even think to contemplate because it just seems so in a sense unlikely.” says Lem. “ so, even if it’s true, he wouldn’t even know which would be a reason why it would be so pronounced because he misses me and it might be comforting to think back to that time and then he doesn’t realize he’s doing that has subconscious.”