“A Challenge” by Lem

The Revenant by Ryuichi Sakamoto, Alva Noto & Bryce Dessner plays.

“I’m waiting for my tea.

I grew-up drinking tea.” says Mathew Nesheim.

“Ahh! …Okay.“ says the Frenchman with sudden hesitation.

“Alright. My tea arrives.” says Matt. “Have at it!”

“SHIT!” says the Frenchman. He suddenly winces. “Matt…how in Hell…are you and your cousin so…elite…and yet what is it? Backwards?”

“Well…you’re not prepared for this conversation. …At least that’s what it seems like.” says Matt.

“Matthew…

Oh.

Matthew.

Of course.

*He tries very hard not to laugh*

Is this Satan? Or JFK? Because it’s…really on the nose.” he says.

The music is…very dramatic.

Elliott Roosevelt laughs.

“Exactly Elliott.” says the Frenchman.

“For their safety and the safety of their children I’m not at liberty to discuss that.” says Matthew from a pre-written statement.

The Quality of Mercy by Max Richter plays.

“No. It’s not Lacey.” says Matthew smiling.

The song plays.

“Matthew…how?” says the Frenchman. “I’m sorry.”

“Ahh!

Are you ready? It’s genuinely quite complex.” says Matthew.

“I am. Tell me if necessary!” says Marsie.

He waits. Sips his tea. Legs crossed like a gentleman. Very Tsar Putin aesthetic. In his interview with Tucker Carlson.

“Fine!!” says the arrogant French man.

“See…you aren’t open.

Fine!

I’ll just talk to Marsie if necessary.

Ahh…so…

That’s my ancestor. For certain.

And…that’s our 1700’s ‘rich people’ farm:

But…as actually grand as our silversmith family is and was…

Silversmiths with guilds were the very old upper middle class. And…as our family was (although not listed on Wikipedia) genuinely historic and noteworthy in Norway…and Sweden…and to some degree in Denmark…beginning in the 1700’s…and we acquired what today would be equivalent of $30 million as our personal net worth…which isn’t middle class even if it’s not ‘a billionaire’…we were…Norwegian…and…rural.

Don’t be so stupid. We’re very prestigious.

*Here, They Used To Build Ships by Johann Jóhannsson plays.*

…We are rural. …Like…the Swiss. THE SWISS. …Does that ring any bells!!? Think!!!” says Matthew impatiently.

“So the painting? On the walls?” says the French man.

“That’s elite.” explains Simen Jóhannsson.

“Do you comprehende?” Jim Craft asks the French man.

“That was a high brow insult. …We’re rural.” says Lacey. “And you sir…lack depth.”

“So you’re not…rural like an Englishman?” says Hitler to Jim.

“No. I’m sorry. I’m not.” says Jim Craft.

“I knew that!!” yells Hitler.

“Oh this is getting ugly.” says Lacey.

Arrival of the Birds by The Cinematic Orchestra & London Metropolitan Orchestra plays.

“I warned you.” says Matthew.

“Okay. So…you’re not sophisticated?” he says.

“No! Actually we are! …We just…gosh.” says Matthew. He sighs. He collects his thoughts. “We…are…isolated. Maybe isolated? Remote?”

“Were you royalty ever?” asks a psychic.

“Yes. But who wasn’t, right?” says Gunhild.

“So you’re…not unworldly…and yet…somehow paradoxically you’re kinda…left out?” says a woman.

“Like the Swiss.” says Matthew. “Some of it’s by choice.”

“Right! Fjords.” says a reader.

“So…you all really are that…sincere!?” says a reader.

“That’s us. But so is this:

says Matt.

Waterways by Einaudi plays.

“We’re excruciatingly humble.” says Matt.

The song plays.

“Lacey’s parents are…not like all of us. And no. They were…careful. They stopped openly abusing her she was about 4. Because she was getting too smart. And they didn’t want to get caught. And what do I mean by openly? Ahh…covert versus overt. So overt until age 4. Covert after.

And…no…we didn’t necessarily know at all.

Regardless…we are…excruciatingly humble.” says Matthew.

“That’s our genes. …Those are our genes. That’s us!!” says Matthew Nesheim. “Descendants of Norwegian silversmiths who own billions of Dollars of oil in the US. In OUR land.”

The song plays.

“That’s the family Lacey was raised in.” says Matthew.

Xibalda by Clint Mansell & Kronos Quartet plays.

“That’s not us.

That’s TOM BANKS.

But…see…her father loved her. Tom loved her. He’s just dead.

…

That is us.

Old Dooney & Burke bag. Etsy dress. Vintage silk scarf. Blonder hair. Standing and smiling in an art museum. Happy to be there. Our silver is art. Our sterling silver…with our family’s mark on it…from the 1700’s and on…is ART. Just like the pieces behind her.

But this…

That…terrifying smile…in an old leather Audi…is her soul.

We can account for her manners and her lack of…understanding. I died partially because of it. …But…we can’t account for her reaction. …That’s not us. That’s just not the nature of our souls.

That being said…I did kill myself. So be…careful.” says Matthew. “She’s not scared. And I’m a very seasoned warrior.”

“Matthew what’s your alma mater. In…English. So to speak. Not…the King’s Norwegian.” says Tucker Carlson.

“Coach.” he jokes.

“So like where??” he says.

“UCLA.” says Matthew.

Lacey is surprised.

“I’m actually a forward thinker. Believe it or not.” says Matthew.

“No. That’s possible.” says Tucker Carlson.

“So…?” says Matthew.

“Yeah. She’s probably just been explaining herself.” says Tucker Carlson.

“We would never have written that blog post. Casi…NEVER. That’s just not us.” says Matthew. “It’s a fascinating and…disturbing response to us. But not because we necessarily understand more. …Because we…tend to…ignore things. And sometimes it’s functional and sometimes it’s a disaster, as in my life.”

“So…has anyone asked her why?” asks the French man.

“NO!

They talk to themselves. Far more than they know. And…they don’t think to talk to her. For whatever reason. Or…it would be too painful for them.” says Matthew.

“Elliott…do you understand why?” asks the French man.

“Gee. Thanks for asking.” he says, in exasperation.

In This Shirt by The Irrepressibles plays.

“That’s my response.

Because I’m…gobsmacked.” says Elliott Roosevelt.

“I’ll tell you why.

This is my song. …Right? Or non? I’m too…weird?” says Rupert Brooke.

The song plays.

“You’re all so confused!!!!” screams JFK at all living gay men on a manic level of evil.

And as a gay artist concedes defeat in Jerusalem…Lacey sips Merlot…out of proper glass.

“Lem…what would you have felt about this song?” asks a living gay man.

“It would have freaked me out. …Weirded me out.” says Lem.

The song plays.

“I literally can’t stand to listen to it.” says Lem. “I would have had to excuse myself and leave.”

“Lem…did you talk about Gore Vidal’s novel?” asks a living gay man. “With Gore Vidal?”

“I hated his…writing.” says Lem. “Or I thought I did.”

“But what you really hated was his topic.” says a Christian living gay man.

“His topic made me angry.” says Lem.

“Lem…why?” says a living Christian gay man.

“Ask Lacey.” he says.

“So you want to feel better?” says Lacey. “Okay?

He’s a smug…dense…prissy-aristocratic…strong…island.” says Lacey. “An island of a man.”

“I still don’t get it.” says the gay man.

“You know I don’t entirely understand. …But…it’s sorta like…he’s too upset…to bother. Or something like that. Because he just doesn’t understand.” says Lacey.

“Lem!!! It’s gay romance.” says a living gay man.

Lem laughs and nods. “I…said it was…gross.”

“Why?” says the CIA.

“I found it ‘too complicated.’” says Lem. “And then he defended his position by insisting that gay sex wasn’t just about…sloppy, quick fornication.

*Lux Aeterna plays.*

And he waited for me to come back with something about our hot sex. Like…how ‘animalistic’ it was or something. …But instead I just sat there and stared at him. Irritated. So he assumed I was an idiot.” says Lem.

“That’s not what I wanted to hear!” wails Bobby Kennedy Junior. Snot dripping. “That is not…what I WANTED.”

“Why?” asks David Pitts. “I mean…whether that’s the story Gore Vidal told me or not…that’s what he told me…in effect. So…I honestly cannot guarantee that that’s not literally what happened.”

“You know he look straight.” says South Africa.

The song starts over.

“So…you found it gross?” asks a living gay man.

“Yes.

Look…I tried to read Williwaw. But…I found it gross. I genuinely did. And…when we had that infamy conversation in the White House…I was sick of most gay men. Because I was straight. And I…just…found them all…obnoxious.

Can you please try to understand me more? It’s not quite that complicated. Just THINK!” says Lem.

“So you found him annoying too?” says the living gay man.

“I found him…confusing. You know? What…gives? Right? Because…he was so…certain. So…indifferent. And…I’m…actually not the easiest person to get into a deep conversation with myself.” says Lem.

Lem waits for a response.

Eros by Nicholas Britell plays.

“Oh well.” says Lem when no one knows what to say or doesn’t care.

Lacey sighs.

“Wow! That was quite the diversion!” says Matthew Nesheim.

The song plays.

“That’s not bad Merlot.” says Lacey. “It’s from Napa. Of course.”

“Lem have you slept with Lacey rencently?” asks Janet Desrosiers.

“Yes.” says Lem politely.

“How recently?” she says.

“Today.” says Lem.

“Then why are they so stuck on it? It’s still so weird to me.” she says.

“Yeah! Huh.” says Lem. “Quit hitting on me. I’ll never sleep with you and I wouldn’t want to.

Darling…go to Hell if you have to. Alright?”

“I’m not in Hell. Janet.” says Joe Senior.

“But I’m obviously just obsessed with what she wants. Because I genuinely assumed I was prettier than her until I was told I wasn’t and had to look at her clearly.” says Janet.

“Thanks for saying that.” says Lacey.

She cries.

“I loved him! And they are alike!” she says crying.

“Who’s alike?” asks God.

“Joe Kennedy Senior and Lacey. They’re not meant to be together forever but they’re alike.” says Janet.

Memory by Nick Cave & Warren Ellis plays.

“I LOVED him. I really…loved him.” she says of JP Kennedy.

We see them kissing in front of a beautiful ocean scene on Cape Cod.

The Most Beautiful Boy by The Irrepressibles & Felsmann & Tiley plays.

“He was…beautiful.” says Janet.

The song plays.

The beauty of the scene plays before us.

“This is such a good song.” says Lacey.

And in the future we see Lacey standing in front of two dead children who were being used for human trafficking in the Illuminati. They shot each other.

What’s she wearing? A Brooks Brother’s hooded sweater over with the hood up. Sweatpants. As Millenials do. Her big brown eyes turn around and regard us.

They look alive. Until you blink. Did you just see ghosts. Oh! That was weird!

Wait! Where did Lacey go?

We look over to the side…

She looked so solid. So real. So real.

Huh.

She’s gone.

“Was she a ghost?” asks Lacey, herself.

Je te laisserai des mots by Patrick Watson plays.

“No. Can’t be. I must be hallucinating.” says a man.

“Huh. Well they’re dead! Good news.” says Lacey.

He stands and looks sad.

“Do you need to die?” she says as a ghost.

He thinks.

He picks up one of their shotguns. Regards it.

The song plays.

“No! I can’t. Life’s too damn good!” he says, laughing at God.

“Too bad I can’t drill a hole in your brain.” says Lacey to him as a ghost.

He blinks.

“Yeah. You’re worthless to yourself.” she says.

He’s a cruel child molester.

“You shouldn’t have been born.” says Lacey.

Later.

“This is why she’s mad. This woman married into the family.

Now…she’s covertly competitive. And her family is from the lower middle class. Not at all Old Money. …Is she being passive aggressive and abusive to her husband? Trying to insinuate he’s somehow poor? Or make it look that way to their friends? Because she’s too vain, ugly and sick inside to let him be better than her? …OR…is she simply being caring? Is it very much just what it looks like? She’s purely trying to celebrate the hard work and honor of poor, good hearted people?

Can you tell!?

And see…it’s very…very…difficult to know. …It takes time. And getting a better sense of context.

Lacey…tried to really take her time getting to know the people in the perfume community. She talked more to them than to this woman by a long-shot. And that’s sad.

So…when they’d post very confusing things…that were potentially cruel she…let it go…hoping to eventually see things more clearly. Until…Nancy

visited F. Scott Fitzgerald’s grave in Maryland. IN MARYLAND. …That’s more significant than you think. …Openly drinking…cheap gin…and took photos of herself plastered physically all over his gravestone. And captioned it with the idea that he was HER LOVER in a PREVIOUS LIFE. So SHE HAD FIRST DIBS. …Presumably over EVERYONE.

…No. This woman was not Scott Fitzgerald’s lover in a past life.

Nancy had been obsessively copying Lacey as well. Lots of Lacey’s so-called followers had been.

And then she also posted a photo of her fake ultra rich friends. And she’d been insisting her possibly fake Hermes bags were real very aggressively as well.

And so…Lacey lost her temper and blocked her. Lacey just blocked her. And Lacey’s husband blocked her as well. And yet…she still found a way to contact Lacey and insist she was NOT copying her. And was not…at all…in any way…beneath Lacey.

The blog post about social class was related to this woman in large part. But it wasn’t just her. It was Casi. It was…literally dozens of other people in the perfume community. And…yet there were enough people who seemed normal enough that Lacey assumed she’d have some support. …Except…she did not. Not at all. And she’s been trying to sort it out every since.

What really pisses me off though is that you guys are so hateful and incapable of any sort of genuine concern for humanity at all if this blog is to be believed, she was being statistically attacked by the illuminati, so why wouldn’t you assume that that had something to do with why she lost her temper and wrote one fucking post on her blog about social class and people being competitive in the Perfume community the illuminati was using the Perfume community to bludgeon her for their own trashy delete reasons, but I get baffled by why are you guys can’t just try to be more understanding why are you so why are you all so persistently fucking self-righteous to such an insane degree when it comes to her, are you scared because most people live today or secretly all sadness, including Jonah Wiley?” says F. Scott Fitzgerald. “ what is it we could have we could pick up and keep her up all night and you could write up a blog post interviewing her and trying to get to the bottom of what she was thinking and feeling we’re not going to do that because it’s sick. She has been incredibly kind and spoiled you all when she could’ve literally just declared war on the world and we’d all be dead she’s been very patient. And as they say that Bobby is literally trying to suffocate her to death using the daemonic because he’s such a fucking repressed homosexual that he refuses to admit that he really is dense when it comes to what happen with him a lot he is obsessed with it but he can’t explain why, and he expects people to just magically understand him.

So we’re gonna we’re going to spend a little bit of time and then she’s going to go to bed with Lem’s and they’re going to have sex as they often do because he was straight and she’s an adult and she’s very beautiful and if you weren’t so patronizing and stupid. Maybe you would have to come back and act like the super adults of the universe.”

“ so how about we do that? No Nancy you were not F Scott Fitzgerald‘s lover that was a lie JFK told you to piss Lacey off because he’s buried in Maryland lambs family is from Maryland and actually there’s other very offensive things that were coded into your blog post as well that are all from the other side, because there’s a lot of really huge poltergeist bitches that hate her JFK sister kick and there are many others because they were stupid ugly and hateful and evil and they somehow in their dim existence think that attacking her will make them feel better and it doesn’t it makes them feel scared because it doesn’t actually work. It kind of makes him feel better, because it kind of reminds them of what they experience while they were alive and and capable of being redeemed.

But it doesn’t really work because they’re dead, and part of their body gets sort of cut off. So you can be evil while you’re alive and I kind of feel OK can I shove it under the rug even though it might bother you a little bit taking it if you can kind of shove it under the rug but when you’re dead, you can’t do that because it actually starts to harm you it harms your energy Which is why there’s not many Pulcher guys and there really aren’t that many there should be a heck of a lot more considering how many evil people there been in the in the world. And that’s one of the reasons of jack cease to exist because he’s sort of made himself almost not exist by being so evil but I am he just kept going and it has not been helpful for him so that’s that’s a little quick rundown now I want to find out what it is that you guys can’t handle then, so what is this problem or can you just ask her a question or do I need to ask your questions that you should be asking for you and then we can move on and maybe you can go you know, lick your bones Like buzzards from hell and then we can just sort of let this go and she can start editing this blog and you guys can just I don’t know I guess just keep doing whatever it is that you do.” says Lem’s sister.

“ you know they have sex?” says a reader.

“ yeah I do because it’s been discussed on this blog and I am an adult I mean it’s not some thing I ever think about from ever on but I mean I am cognitively aware of that and I had to say it because I don’t think you people are OK?” she says.

“ I am OK so I think Marcy pretty much explains Lacey. What is that were mad about.” says the perfume community.

“ OK that’s not a question, gotcha.” says Lacey.

“ hey so you just you had no idea it that you had no idea and you thought somehow given our class trajectory or our actual wealth or some thing that we would just be like oh well those of us that aren’t totally toxic would just be like well she’s probably right there’s probably way too much toxic competition in the Perfume community and I’m probably just not gonna say much but I’m not gonna be like antagonistic towards her. Is that what you were expecting that and are that maybe that will be the majority of people who are following you but like they would be a few people who might be like nice about it and send you a DM and be like dude what’s wrong like it seems like you’re getting a lot of like negative feedback or some thing I don’t know and I’m sorry that people are being so bitchy and then that’s probably what she thought that everyone person would just be like nice about it and then everyone else would just kind of be like quiet and be like that you’re right it’s a little weird that’s what you were expecting isn’t it?” says a perfume collector.

“ yes, I’ve said that on this blog good for you.” says Lacey.

“ Hey OK so no that’s that’s not what’s going to happen when you’re dealing with people like us because we’re not who is who you thought we were do you fully understand what we’re doing I kind of doubt you do but do you fully understand it like you probably don’t know that’s a stupid question. I’m gonna bet you have a far better understanding as of today because it’s like I had no idea that people did that really but um so I’m just gonna go with that. I think that probably is true that it’s like yeah oh crap these people were like oh doing some psychological thing that I was not thinking they were doing yeah so it’s like what we’re doing is just like showing off yes but Part of it is like a fantasy not like a fantasy like that’s stupid but it’s more like an actual like real fantasy it’s like oh I’m rich because this perfume is just so good that I just I wear it and I just feel so freaking rich do you have any idea what that feels like?” she says.

“ none whatsoever actually that’s not true I might have a slight idea, but I doubt it’s quite the same.” says Lacey.

“ OK when did you experience that?” she says.

“ are used to wear Shalimar with a green and got anger and Gora sweater when I was in high school and pearls faux pearls but pearls and so it created a very beautiful aesthetic and it was fun to wear and I Ayah well I loved it because it was really really beautiful, and I knew that Shalamar was an exquisite fragrance and the sweater wasn’t bad and they were not real pearl earrings but they weren’t bad imitations and so I thought you know I feel kind of classy. I mean it wasn’t you know well it wasn’t necessarily exactly like what you experience but I definitely felt a heck of a lot more monetarily stable than we were at the time and my family so I mean that to me that was the aesthetic of probably no old money multi multi millionaire. It was a really if the whole combination really worked.” says Lacey.

“ you’re really disappointing I met you and I realize that you were old money and I’m just like holy shit I didn’t think anyone who is actually that beautiful and intelligent and old buddy could exist and I saw you and I’m like holy shit that’s the only fucking thing I care about it I don’t care about children or the environment or myself or anybody else!” says this woman suddenly wailing in tears. “ I mean I understand Nancy I don’t give a fuck about what you say that there’s love and life and everything supposed to mean something. I just want men to our father love with me and suck my and suck me off and do it over to me because that is the meaning, may be glorious and beautiful I don’t care about anyone else. Why don’t you understand!??” she says. “I WANT MONEY!!!”

Material Girl by Madonna plays.

Millions of living women shake their asses in unison. Souls in hibernation. Eyes glazed over. Stupid drooling grins on their faces.

Is she a material girl?

Her?

Her?

Her?

I bet she is too…secretly.

They all have the same glazed over…distant…cold as ice…constantly happy…dumb-as-rocks expression on their faces. And…it seems like…the Madonna classic Material Girl befits them perfectly.

“You need cold hard cash?” a woman asks Nancy.

“Yes.” she says after nervously stalling.

“Why doesn’t she understand that!??” asks the faux caring perfume collector.

“That you want ‘cold hard cash?’” asks Billy.

“Yeah.” she says.

In shock Lem is left speechless.

“Madonna is a genius, regardless.” says Lacey.

“I can’t figure out what to say to that woman.” says Lem.

“I want to kill them.” says Scotia. “But that’s completely unreasonable? And…possibly worthless and evil.”

“That’s a death threat!” says Nancy trying to escalate things.

“How?” says Lacey.

“Because you didn’t want to say that. I know what you really wanted to say.” says Nancy.

“Which was what!?” says Lacey.

“You know!” she says, throwing her nose up in the air in self-perceived sexual superiority.

“Don’t you?” says Lacey.

“No!!! That’s not allowed.” says Nancy.

“What!?” says Lacey.

“What you’re doing!” says Nancy.

“Which is what!?” says Lacey.

“What you’re doing?” says Nancy.

“Which is what!?” says Lacey.

“This!” says Nancy suddenly smiling and laughing at Lacey.

“What’s this?” says Lacey.

Nancy pauses.

The song plays.

“Well!?” says Lacey.

“Satan help me!” says Nancy.

“Oh! You’re a Satanist!” says Lacey. “That explains a lot.”

“I love that…aesthetic. …I’m not sure if I would call myself a Satanist.” says Nancy.

“Why?” says Satan, hurt.

“He’s too poor?” says Lacey to Nancy.

Holiday by Madonna plays.

“Geez!!” says Lacey to Nancy. “You know…Satan is poor. Too bad girl.

He seems into you.”

“I’m too hot.” says her spirit.

“Huh. See…I wouldn’t have expected that to be a problem for Satan.” says Kick Kennedy.

“What if you took a holiday with Satan?” says Lacey to Nancy. “He could woo you in Nazi Germany?”

“That’s a sexy holiday!!” says JFK.

“To you!” says Lacey. “I don’t think I’d agree.”

“What about…Hell?” says Lacey.

“Yeah!!! LOVE IT!!!” says Satan.

“See! He’s so into it. Nancy…Hell? Do you think you’ll take the holiday?” says Lacey. “I wouldn’t. But…you like the aesthetic? What’s that mean?”

“I have worshipped him. At a concert.” says Nancy. “But that was just a concert.”

“Nancy wasn’t that right before you got cancer?” says Lacey.

Lucky Star by Madonna plays.

“Yeah.” she says.

“Dude! Maybe that’s related.” says Lacey.

“Why me?” says Nancy.

“Aren’t you Hispanic and German and Catholic? Yo! Maybe someone wants you dead. To protect you from yourself. You know? So you don’t keep worshipping Satan. Or…” says Lacey.

“Maybe I wanted you dead…because you’d just worshiped me. And your soul was in prime condition for death to me.” says Satan.

“Or he was scared.” says Lacey.

“Of this!?” says Nancy.

“YES!!!” yells Satan. “She’s determined to end the world.”

“I was a plea bargain.” says F. Scott Fitzgerald. “And Satan knew you’d get attached to that. To attack her. Not just to actually grow.”

“Okay! Well…worship Jesus, Nancy.” says a saint.

“I agree! Satan…isn’t…a good idea.” says Lacey to Nancy. “Worship Christ.”

The song played again.

The Green Mile by Thomas Newman plays.

“Yes!! You’re better!” yells Nancy at Lacey. “Okay! YOU’RE SO MUCH BETTER!!”

“Am I?” says Lacey.

“Yeah.” says Nancy.

“Then why bother competing with me?” says Lacey.

Nancy thinks.

Everybody Got Their Something by Nikka Costa plays.

“To be better!!” says Nancy.

“But how will that work!?” says Lacey.

“Because! It’s war.” says Nancy.

“Except it’s not. Because you know you aren’t fighting to be better. You’re just trying to obliterate my soul.” says Lacey.

Nancy thinks.

“Why are you so damn focused on me?” says Lacey.

“Because you’re better.” says Nancy.

“SO WHAT!?” says Nancy.

“ don’t kill yourself, but I think you’re possibly too stupid to realize that what you really want to do is be better than God. I think you’re just in rebellion against God.” says Lacey. “ because theoretically, you could just focus on yourself and just focus on your own life and just focus on being happy as you may have been told to do before, but if you choose not to do that, and you choose to focus on other people to try to destroy them because they’re threatening to you you’re not gonna get better you’re just gonna possibly seem better but not really be better which is a rejection of God either intentionally or accidentally.”

“ rejection of myself.” says Nancy.

“ that’s what you’re aiming for because I suspect that my love for you as a person is real and that’s what you’re supposed to be doing for me and everybody else and frankly in Christ it’s not quite that hard to do it. It’s just Nancy I analyze people, and I know that I am theoretically based on the hierarchies of this world that are real better than you, but that’s the fallen world and if there’s anything about it that’s beyond that that’s between you and God it worries me but but it’s between you and God I poverty is still evil. Children are still vulnerable. We still want people to be happy and healthy psychology is possibly possibly still very valid, but you can’t I need you you just if you can’t be so I want to see almost demanding of of the fallen world that everything will just be happy. Is that it? No I’m sure it sucks to be poor than me sucks shit and I don’t mean to be mean, but no, you’re not as pretty as you could be, but that’s the thing you’ll be your self not me don’t try to steal me from myself, that’s sick you’re supposed to exist Nancy as yourself nobody else and then that person in heaven would be very happy and very beautiful but more pop up. I would that probably more beautiful than I am more beautiful than a lot of people are but you still be yourself so if there’s wounds there that are miserable, those good heels and it’s well fun to be you as a thing. What are we even have a conversation about the poverty that you may have growing up in the fact that you had a nose job and then heaven, you wouldn’t even need to have a nose job I mean what it what is this conversation even about and I care but it becomes impossible because I can’t read your mind. I have no idea what’s really bothering you. I have no idea.” says Lacey.

“ so if there’s reincarnation, you’re not supposed to be here?” says Nancy.

“ I don’t think so. If anything I’ve said is helpful to you that’s good but I don’t think I’m supposed to be here if there’s reincarnation I don’t think so. Believe it or not and I know you’ve been through an incredible amount potentially but there’s a difference, how do I say that there’s a difference between misery and pain and suffering and impossibility, my life is like impossible. It has become almost impossible there’s reincarnations, and I tend to think that there’s a reason for that I’m not sure literally I’m not sure that I was originally supposed to be here right now God is allowed it and God will work it out, but know there’s a difference between awful things in life and things that are just totally impossible and it’s it’s like I can’t. I mean if there’s reincarnation I literally can’t even talk as myself anymore. I’m not kidding. I open up my mouth and it is Scottish accent comes out that’s absurd that you know it’s like it’s not even misery it’s just.

Later.

The phone just died, and I may have spent a few hours, psychically counseling Nancy, because it turns out even though she’s a little bit of a narcissist, she may have actually had a legitimately, miserable childhood. How did I psychically counsel Nancy, possibly through a very real illuminati. She may have had a very real pain that was very confusing to her. She could also be a little bit of a narcissist like a sincere one, but she seems like there’s real pain there too so we seem to come to an agreement that she should really move to New Jersey, I live in a two-story house in a nice neighborhood but not like a huge house just like a nice house.

And then we seem to think at least I thought that she should move to a nice area of New York but not like super posh necessarily but just kind of nice probably like the upper east side but maybe the upper West side but New York is so expensive but we we decided that she couldn’t do that um if we were talking and you know it’s sad because she really did have a genuinely difficult childhood seemingly

And the decision is, I’m still prettier than her. I still have more holier than her potentially have a better family socioeconomically, and I may be smarter than her and kinder so we didn’t fix that.

And I don’t know how to fix- I don’t know how to fix that. the thing is I I I really have my hands tied so to speak and I don’t think it’s gods fault but I do I have a there’s nothing I can do to make her equal to me at the problem is a she’s still be herself, but I think she could be that person, it’s it’s just it’s like I don’t. I don’t know why it is the way it is in this fallen world but there’s not much I can do personally and I think that really was the crux of my problem is that there’s that there’s not a lot I can do and I’m a little tired of people holding me personally responsible for all evil.” says Lacey.

“ how the heck did we get it in our head that you were personally responsible for all evil?” says Nancy.

“ I don’t know it scares me slightly but not terribly so but I don’t know but there’s like there’s nothing I can do Nancy I’m sorry I can’t go back and fix your childhood. I can’t make you my equal socioeconomically I can’t I can’t do that to the whole world right now I can’t I don’t know why I don’t know well and then an antichrist would be a terrible idea but that’s the thing getting rid of evil was with Christ was supposed to be doing and I think he’s done it but things have gotten pretty bad but basically just please stop holding me accountable. Please stop holding children accountable. Please stop holding yourself fully Academy hold yourself accountable hold yourself accountable in Christ hold yourself accountable but don’t I mean what are we all? Are we all doing that? Are we all are a lot of people anyway, going around trying to figure out who brought evil into the world I’m not Eve I don’t. I’m not Eve and I don’t know why people think people think I’m Eve, I’m not here I wonder if because I’m illegitimate potentially if I just seem creepily maternal and so people have just assumed that I am eat for something weird like that but no I’m not. I’m not Eve.” says Lacey.

“ Lacey why the heck did you burst our bubble?” asks Marsie.

“ well mercy because you’re adults and you guys are being really catty to me and inappropriate so if you guys hadn’t been being complete assholes to me all that complete assholes I’m sorry if you hadn’t been being assholes, I might not have said some thing that potentially could burst peoples bubbles and I don’t think I was trying to do that. Um, I think I relish doing that. I think it’s a little weird that you would assume that I’d be that evil that’s not the tone that I wrote anything it when you’re reading stuff you’re supposed to read the tone not just try to read between the lines like a psychic.

I am anyway no you people were a little confusing I you know it was you were kind of mean what if you were a little a few if you were a bit much and so I decided to put my foot down and say no no this isn’t OK and what you’re doing is ludicrous anyway.” says Lacey.

“ but then, with the family that you were raised in when do that.” says Marsie.

“ that’s true but that to me seems ill advised because what does that even do to me it’s just tedious and patronizing patronizing but it’s so grossly tedious to just tolerate it and not try to call people out and find out what’s going on you’re just gonna tolerate that nonsense?” says Lacey.

“ but isn’t that white trash?” says Marsie.

“ why would it be white trash?” says Lacey.

“ because I’ve always heard that rich people just don’t care and they’re just so happy all the time and they just never say anything or get upset and they’re just super cheerful and calm and sweet and rational and perfectly levelheaded and polite and they would never confront somebody they would just patronize them probably and just be like I don’t notice I’m too damn happy and rich.” says Marsie.

“ yeah that’s just not me that’s just not me I just can’t be that indifferent to people. I’m sorry.” says Lacey.

“ but I think we want you to be.” says Marsie.

“ you say that I don’t believe you because I’ve seen way too many movies and which many books were the people I was like nobody cares nobody cares nobody ever bothers to notice that I am dying inside I mean it’s like mad that was just like oh everyone lives there quiet life of misery in black-and-white in the 1950s. And I think I don’t condone the DK western society post 1950s but I will tell you this much I will do my best to bring you color and life and I will notice you because honestly that’s what I would want I would want someone to take to confront me. And to be frank, the way that I did it respectfully, I was measured I was intellectually astute. There was a well written post. Everything I write is pretty much well written even though no one has almost ever said that to me, people barely ever give me compliments Mercy and when they do they’re usually pretty extraordinary because what I do might actually be that great I’m probably a genius you’re not most likely although maybe you are I’m saying that because who the hell do you think you are right or is that not the way you say it And maybe that’s not quite where we’re going with this conversation but the thing is it’s just I would love for someone to notice that my writing is good if it was bad, I would actually want them to notice that too but nope people just don’t pay attention to me people don’t notice me for who I really am almost at all and I would love if they would. I try to be very loud and open about who I am on a certain level Which is pretty much the opposite of JFK where is it but either way I feel like I’m not that different than most people and then I’m crying for love I think we all do and so I think I try in my own way to sort of confront people to to be loving.” says Lacey.

“ I don’t know that I give almost a shit about you at all.” says Marsie.

“ and yeah I know I know. Why do you choose that?” says Lacey.

“In your case I choose evil.” she says.

“ yeah, that might not actually be a wise choice though mercy like it’s actually in our conscience to love people you have to lose choose not to so I don’t understand why people choose not to love me I don’t get it. It’s just kind of fucked up. Sorry for swearing and I just think what the freaking Frick is going on because it’s bizarre. I’m actually a pretty lovable person objectively speaking most likely I’m probably pretty lovable and it doesn’t really make any sense per se. It doesn’t really make any sense at all, so I don’t really understand why people are so fucking determined to reject me.” says Lacey.

“ to be honest with you she’s right Marcy it actually is weird and now you’re trying to reject that because it sounds true but you don’t like it because it makes you feel inferior potentially but you know honestly it is weird because if it hadn’t been for what she’s describing to you that you may admit to doing yourself she wouldn’t have discovered the illuminati the actual illuminati.” says Chris Hayes.

“ he is red, so I don’t know why you choose to not be kind to me and away in your heart. I don’t know why Marcy I don’t think it makes any sense. I’m not JFK I’m not some ugly grandmother who kill babies I’m not a dog that bit people I’m not Satan, but that’s how you treat me as to some degree and it’s actually quite strange. I don’t think you’re those things either. Most likely it’s it’s strange Marcy and someone is supposed to have noticed that and no one ever did.” says Lacey.

“Goodnight.” says Lem, taking Lacey to bed.