“ so in reality, people liked it the way it was because we got to be mean to nice people like you Lacey, who are in the upper class and our old money we’re following the rules we got to beat the shit out of you which is why Matthew ended up committing suicide.” says a Real Housewife.
“ yeah but he wouldn’t have previous to the blowup with Diego.” says Lacey.
She sighs. “Would I have snubbed you?” she says.
“ yes but then, at the end of the day you would’ve dropped it walked off and a half and been pleasant to me thereafter there may have been some kerfuffle at some point with somebody, but for the most part you would’ve probably just left me alone.” says Lacey.
“ what is your house look like?” she says.
“I’m sorry. I’m losing patience.” says Lem.
Moments later.
“Okay. So!” says Lacey.
“So that’s not your house.” says a Real Housewife.
“Yes. So???” says Lacey.
“You can’t possibly base class entirely on wealth and pedigree?” she says.
“No. I do. And honor is in that.” says Lacey.
“That’s what we’ve been doing for hundreds of years.” says Great Britain.
“But you wealth signal!” says another Real Housewife to Great Britain.
“Not like you.” says Great Britain to the Real Housewives.
“We’re solely concerned with appearances.” the franchise openly confesses.
“Well that’s…fun…but…not…safe.” says Lacey.
“Do you like your Nesheim aesthetic?” asks a Real Housewife.
“Yes and no.” says Lacey.
“Where could they be living?” asks another Real Housewife.
“Are you using filters?” asks a gay perfume collector of Lacey.
“No!” says Lacey. “That’s just the lighting in Saint Paul in old houses.”
“Huh.
What areas of the US have bad lighting?” asks the gay perfume collector.
“Washington D. C., Montana, Vermont (?)??? Ahh…Eastern Ohio. Indiana.” says Lacey. “I can’t think of anything more right away.”
“But not Maryland?” says a man, smirking.
“No! Just Washington D. C.” says Lacey.
“It was a swamp! Clearly it wasn’t meant for human lighting! GROW A BRAIN!” says Harvard.
“ they don’t understand that, Lacey.” explains a Black person to Lacey.
She relaxes. Thinks.
“So the Nesheim aesthetic is to own this multimillion dollar estate from the 18th century in Norway:
This:
And look like this:
When (just in America alone) you could own:
And
And
And
And
And look like this:
says a Real Housewife.
“YES!” says Matt. He shrugs.
“ you guys could literally own all of those houses in your family and take expensive vacations to Europe. How much would you have left after buying all those houses and taking all those vacations?” says the CIA.
“ we could probably have left about $9 million and then we would own the houses. Just refresh your memory.” says Matt.
“ why don’t you guys just do that?” says a recent immigrant.
Matt shrugs. “ because to us it’s just sort of slovenly. We’re very Scandinavian. I mean we were part of the upper class in Norway, and in my great grandmother‘s family to some degree so to us it’s just feels kind of weird to spend that much money.” says Matt.
“ how many people in your parents generation chose willingly chose to be poor!??” says the CIA.
“ a lot a lot of them chose to be missionaries or farmers or hippies or experimental people with gold plating on ceilings. a lot of them.” says Matt.
“ I think we need to stop thinking that we’re your equal or if we are your equal we need to stop pretending like we’re better than you we don’t like your aesthetic and we hate your aesthetic.” says George Bush.
“ but we, we always do well.” says Tonette. “ I am married a total nutcase who drove my family my immediate family that I had with him into poverty he was genuinely insane. Lacey does not take after him at all at least not in that way if she even does at all, she might not even be his biological granddaughter. Let me remind you. Am I had to finish my teaching degree to support myself and my family. My parents had to help take care of us. We moved in with them. I had to rely on my siblings. I saved, and I lived for about 20 years on my own, no government subsidies, other than possibly Social Security And that was it. The oil was never part of the family. It was just my teachers retirement possibly a little bit of Social Security and everything I had saved being a teacher in North Dakota but I had a house that was totally paid for. I just had to take care of taking the house I had to take care of the house I had to pay for my own water I had to pay for my own electricity, obviously my own groceries and I had my own car and I had to pay for my own rmedical stuff all that nature but I saved over 25 years I saved. I helped my children. I sent my children to college I saved, and then I had help from my family and I didn’t have to pay for my own time in my retirement home. I was in it it was expensive, and I paid for it entirely myself the last year I went on a subsidy the very last year because I ran out of my savings. I ran out of my savings last year of my life. Things got too expensive and I ran out of money I love to be 80 88,85 Lacey Siri both those two numbers but that’s about it that’s that’s pretty good him and I was one of the poorest people in my family and I am ashamed of how poor I was. I was horribly ashamed and the mother is the grandmother that raised Lacey. I was horribly ashamed of my five self perceived poverty so you can criticize my aesthetic, but I had to be very frugal.” says Tonette.
“ how so the people just saw you was the most poor person in your family?” says the CIA.
“ I was I had a net worth of about about $1 million. When I retired I was worth about $1 million. I retired on $1 million I lived off of that million for about 20 years.” says Tonette.
“ let me remind you there are poor relations and upper class families. It doesn’t alter the net worth of value of the entire family Bobby in the CIA and other haters were desperate for ego hit just because dinette retired with $1 million after an extremely successful prestigious, teaching career does not mean that she alters the social place of her family kind of the opposite. Oh, you’re basically bankrupt she retired she didn’t work she got her hair permed. She went to travel to see her friends for lunch. She helped her children she made them laugh so every year she ate well. I think she was very frugal $1 million. Isn’t that much to retire on but it’s not nothing so when you live in your own house, Bobby and you’re being taken care of by your brother who is worth 7 million with no debt I think a woman who is probably the better actually tonight it might’ve been closer to 30 years so she lived on about $1 million for 30 years so she retired and $1 million lived on it for 30 years is that something but she was living in a house that she owned essentially her brother who live right next-door to her was worth 8 million and she had other family members worth millions of dollars as well millions Bobby, millions and millions and millions of dollars all of her kids were smart and healthy with college degrees she got away with it. She got away with having a crappy crappy marriage and then she lived off $1 million until she was in her 80s either when she was in the nursing home and they were trying to keep her alive in heaven knows why does some degree they spent too much and so she had to start relying on government assistance her last year maybe it was you’re and a half but it was no more than that OK baby it was two years, but it really wasn’t more than that. She paid for at least two or three years of very expensive retirement care and that’s the thing their family our family is upper class all the money, Bobby, and part of the reason we have the aesthetic that we do is because we know some thing about keeping money your grandfather was a billionaire, and now you’re broke we would never have that happened in our family happen in our family.” says Sonja.
“ oh no I’m sure that happens to someone in your family. I’m sure there’s somebody.” says Bobby.
They think. “ Actually Bobby there might not be there literally might not be and you’re sort of missing their point. Your grandfather was a billionaire Bobby I within two generations. You’re dead broke on your ass, making a fool of your whole family there a family has been in the upper class for hundreds of years and there still upper class.” explains Africa, patiently.
Keen to Cross the Pond 
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