“Well Shoot” by Lem

Curb Your Enthusiasm (Main Theme) plays.

As a group of pedophiles dream happily of mass shootings in “brothels” and the “child sex rings” contemplate going rogue and taking a Thelma & Louise route…a witch asks questions.

“Did you plan 9/11?” she asks George Bush Jr..

“No. Muslim terrorists did.” he says.

“But you allowed it. To make money from oil.” she says.

0:30

“Yes.” he admits.

“Why?” she says.

“Because my family was actually innocent and trying to stand up to pedophilic elements in the Illuminati. As Christians.” he says.

“So you let it happen?” she says.

0:45

The song ends.

Watermelon Sugar plays.

“Yup. To get $50 million.” says George Bush.

“That’s OUR FOOD.” yell 400 Black slaves.

The Black chorus hits the notes.

0:50

A Black man cuts. Watermelon.

1:24

1:52

2:07

“Hi.” says Michael Rockefeller.

“So you were desperate for money?” asks the witch of George Bush Jr..

“Yes.” says Ken Lay.

And that the Black Lives movement reclaims Watermelon Sugar as a 21st Century “negroe spiritual” in Christ. Harry Styles is a white minstrel. What is a minstrel?

“He sounds like me.” says Joe Kennedy Junior.

“Yeah. But the Irish were occasionally slaves too.” says Lacey.

“He’s an Irish slave. For the evil Illuminati. But as a minstrel.“ says Lem. “Regardless of whether this song was at all innocent or not. It definitely seems to be an allusion to the Deep South and Black slavery. Possibly to child slaves.”

“So it’s pedophilic and racist? Yeah. So fucking predictable.” says a Black woman.

…

“So…you were weak?” a witch asks George Bush Jr..

He thinks. “Jeffrey Epstein was a serious problem. He was extremely rich and extremely evil. Oddly though he seems to have always liked Lacey. Just liked her.

So…we gave up. In 2004. I couldn’t keep fighting them. By December. I collapsed.” says George Bush.

“You gave in.” says the witch.

“Yes. I literally just ran out of money.” says George Bush. “We couldn’t keep being difficult. Ken Lay was stabbed in the back by pedophilic elements in California. Enron was bad…but…a lot of companies are that bad. ARE. It’s an industry secret. And Ken knew that. …Look…he could have made it to 2016. Yes! 2016! …And then the company would have gone slowly bankrupt. Slowly. …It would have seemed odd at the very end. Because it would look like all of the money just disappeared. But…worst case scenario that’s like 3,000 people. Total. Best case scenario that’s 300. But he got sold out by California.

California is very liberal. And they had entrenched pedophilic policies. So they stabbed him in the back.” says George Bush. “And they were able to do that after I abandoned them. Because I personally ran out of money. …I didn’t expect it to affect them. And I have yet to fully process that. I was friends with him.”

“So he was a buddy…or a co-conspirator on behalf of Christ?” asks God.

“Deep state within Deep State? A co-conspirator.” says George Bush Jr..

“I was a crook running the FEC?” says JP Kennedy. “That could be useful or pure evil.”

“Why pedophilia?” says a witch.

“Because it gives them an ego high. That’s the Watermelon Sugar High.” says Bernie Madoff. “It’s AN EGO HIGH.”

“Are they actually pedophiles?” says the witch.

“Mmm….yes??? Kinda.

See…it’s questionable how real pedophilia even is. Right? As an orientation. …So maybe they’re all NUTS. …But regardless some of them could be less or more egotistical than others. So…it could be a problem they all have. Or it could be a huge problem with select individuals. Or a huge problem…HUGE PROBLEM…for select groups of pedophiles.

It’s fascinating.” says Bernie Madoff.

“I’m not a pedophile.” says Lacey as a group of jackass narcissist bourgeois losers feel scared and have a knee-jerk reaction to attack her with their own issue. She has a failed filling. But she’s not a pedophile.

“We didn’t check the whole tooth.” admits her dentist. “I did that filling less than a month ago.”

“Are you a classy place?” says Dr. Ed Nesheim.

“Yes.” says Patience. “That’s a rich person‘s office. …Why did you mess up her filling?”

“She’s an icky poopy pants. And I’m prettier than her.” says her dentist.

“So you couldn’t imagine she needed X-rays?” says Patience.

“Yeah. She’s not capable of causing that much trouble. She’s an icky poopy pants.” says the dentist.

“So you knew she might have a rotten tooth. But it seemed unlikely because she was an ugly lesbian in your narcissistic imagination?” asks Patience.

“Yeah.” they say sexually geeking out and twerking in 2007.

“She’s not that.” says Patience. “And I highly doubt you’ll see her again.”

“No. She’s extremely pretty!” says another dentist.

“Yeah! You played tricks in your head. Because you’re pathetic greedy losers. And dumbass bimbo narcissists. And compromised her health. …At least that’s what it looks like. So…damn. Be careful. Because if y’all worthless bitches…you’ll have your cheap shit smiles wiped off your faces someday. …Real. For real. …Or we’ll have to give you brains. So you can think for a change.” says Patience.

“See I don’t insult people that way.” says a hater.

“Oh! Is that why you can’t hear my fear?” says Patience.

“No. I HEAR YOUR FEAR.” says a hater.

Patience screams. “YOU DO!?!?”

The hater nods.

“NO YOU DON’T!” yells Patience.

A Black woman laughs. “Listen…those are WHITE peoples. Forget that.

Whatchu all talking about?” she says.

“Damn. It’s bad.” says Patience.

“Nah. But y’all ain’t into lesbian sex. And…see…I don’t see you as lesbians.” she says.

“WE’RE NOT!!!” yells Patience.

“Holy shit!” she says. “What’s scaring you all?”

Lacey stares at her, like an Ancient Egyptian. Relaxes a little.

“Mmm. Okay. So…I hear death?” she says.

Patience nods empathetically.

“My death!?” she says.

“YES!!!” yells Christ.

“Oh okay.” she says. She laughs to herself.

She races off to tell her people.

“Dang. That’s the first time they’ve heard it.” says Patience.

Lacey calms down slightly.

“We aren’t all bad. I swear!” yells Lacey’s dentist.

“Watermelon Sugar High.” says Bernie Madoff.

“Sugar!!” trills Bobby Kennedy Junior, sincerely thinking he’s doing something good or bad in good way.

“So Joe Kennedy Junior created a situation where she’ll have to blow up her whole family to save them from living Hell.” says Ken Lay.

“I’m sorry. I was too damn rich and important. Geez!” says Joe Kennedy Junior seriously. He’s endlessly in love with himself.

“So am I. Secretly.” says Bobby Kennedy Junior.

“Watermelon sugar is when you get your very pregnant wife to cum. It’s white trash shit.” says the CIA.

“I thought it was sexy.” says Bobby. “You know? Like…watermelon? Like…watermelon sugar.”

“That’s not at all what a woman’s cum tastes like.” says a male reader, confused.

“I’ve tasted a woman’s cum.” says Joe Junior.

“I’ve barely tasted it.” says Harry Styles.

Bobby dances to get out of the question.

“JD?” says a witch.

“No?” he says. “I’m not that good.”

“Bobby?” says a witch.

He keeps twirling. And dancing like a stripper.

“BOBBY!” says the witch. “ANSWER!”

“The Irish still think Lacey is buried in Ireland and I really don’t think she is. I think that’s 100% bullshit that a lot of narcissistic jackasses in that country get off on!” yells Europe as a warning.

“I’d agree.” says Saudi Arabia.

“Very unlikely.” says a Muslim to agree with Saudi Arabia.

“Hey! Maybe she can still survive. But my people need to do something.” says an American Muslim. “COME ON!”

“Well let’s give it a little bit more time. But we’ll see.” says Egypt.

“No.” admits Bobby, finally.

“What are those watermelon’s names?” asks the CIA.

“Finley, Madison, Brooke, Robert, Patrick, Beckwith, Brokaw, Rupert, Evan, Hailey, McKevin, Breckin, Epworth.” says Lacey. “And their parents post photos with this aesthetic:

I’m not accusing this specific site of pedophilia. But this is their asshole, cheap-shit-ego aesthetic.” says Lacey.

“Are they trying to brainwash us into being zombie pedophiles?” asks the upper middle class in America.

“Yes.” says Lacey.

Ghislaine Maxwell laughs. “We do do this.” she admits. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why it isn’t more obvious to you.” she says to the upper middle class. “Maybe you’re all egotistical, stupid, and spoiled?”

“Not all of them?” says Tonette, sadly.

And at that a giant pile of shit pours out of Joe Kennedy Junior’s asshole.

2:40 of Watermelon Sugar.

“The glove is a homage to me.” says Michael Jackson.

Sucker by Jonas Brothers plays.

“My GOD they’re ugly.” says Lacey.

“Are they attractive to you?” Lacey asks her dentist.

“Yes.” she says.

“Yikes. They’re like human bananas. Or what? Something shaped like a banana?” says Lacey. “Sorry.

Are they even straight?”

“Not…necessarily.” says the CIA.

“Yeah. They remind me of Chris Dodds. YUCK.” says Lacey.

“I like them!” says her dentist.

“What’s their fucking craic? What’s their story? They look ridden with information.” says Lacey.

“No! That’s a sexy look.” she says.

“What’s the secret?” says Lacey.

Her dentist sighs. “It’s supposed to be sexy.” she explains.

As It Was by Harry Styles plays as a dead Irishman sings to Lacey at her supposed burial site. “No. There might be more than just us. But…then what?”

“Then we’re ghosts?” says Lacey rolling her eyes.

“Seems she can’t be replaced.” says a dead Scotsman.