“I AM!” by Lem

“I am superior.” says Chris.

It’s Not Unusual by Tom Jones plays.

“It’s like this…I took the marriage bed with living men. If there’s reincarnation. INTENTIONALLY. To be GOOD. As a Jew. Because I got tired of her being sexually assaulted. To allow her to marry Lem. I know…if there’s reincarnation. But if there is…I ditched em’.” explains Chris Hayes. “As a Jew.”

Hit The Road Jack plays.

“I’m hurt.” says Tsar Putin.

“Why?” asks Lacey.

“Because you feel hurt?” he says.

“By who?” says Lacey.

“You seem hurting?” he says.

“Do I?” says Lacey.

“Yeah. …So…

I’m fighting the war…because I’m trying to reestablish the Russian Empire. In a sense.” says Putin.

“You can’t just rewind the clock. I get it.” says Lacey. “But you want to…take care of Russia?”

“YES!” says Putin.

“Why don’t they get it?” says Lacey. “It’s so simple!”

He laughs.

Love’s Theme by The Love Unlimited Orchestra plays.

“I think…they just…lack a sense of history.” says Vladimir Putin.

“Yes!!!” says Lacey. “So…

Actually I wonder if they just don’t like the reality of it. Because it means that the US is…in trouble.”

“What is their problem?” says Putin.

Lacey thinks. “America is toast.

Because we have no long-term foreign policy plan. And we never have. …And instead of just crafting one…they have administrations. And…they struggle to figure out a plan. So…you’ve outed them. Both to themselves and the world.” says Lacey.

“So…I’ve won?” says Putin.

“Yes!” says Lacey. “But…they’ll NEVER ADMIT THAT. …They can’t.

The US has never really lost. Not officially. So…they have no game plan for losing.” says Lacey.

Putin looks worried.

Putin thinks.

“So…how do I get them to…do something?” says Putin.

“Yeah.

Well…the next US President will definitely have to make a deal with you. They have no choice. Or you will bleed the whole world dry.

*Lacey laughs politely. And quietly.*

However…I think I know what you mean. …They’re OBNOXIOUS!

Do they understand foreign policy or just…bureaucracy? It’s…so myopic.

So…they’ll just…fake you out. Ask you a bunch of bitchy questions, acting like they know. Like they have…a plan. But if you watch them…THEY HAVE NO CLUE.

So…don’t expect much. I’m incredibly sorry.

She’s not…a she in the US. The US is…confused. And it’s starting to show. We were having this super intense super intellectual conversation in the 20th Century. And it devolved into this.” says Lacey.

“I’m here!” says Lem.

“Okay. So…I’m not going to be sad?” says Putin.

“You have sex!” says Lem. “But…no. OF COURSE NOT!” He smiles. “You’ll be quite happy.”

“So…sorry the fireworks are duds.” says Lacey.

“I think I should play at being US President.” says Lem.

“Can he?” says Lacey to Tsar Putin.

Putin laughs and nods.

“So…you want us to capitulate what!??” says President Billings.

Putin thinks. Sighs. Looks tough.

“Your supremacy.” says Tsar Putin.

Lem thinks. “Are we!?”

Putin thinks. Crosses his arms in front of his chest. Thinks.

“No.” he admits.

“So I can’t do that.” says Lem laughing.

“So what do you want?” says Putin dejectedly.

“To cut our throats as morally and professionally and brilliantly as possible. And preferably as nicely as possible.” says Lem.

“Oh dear is that bad?” says Lacey.

Putin laughs.

“Yes.” says President Billings.

“Well, then I just think we should just forget it.” says Lacey.

Putin laughs.

“Lacey we’re stuck here. If there is reincarnation we’re stuck here, we’re stuck.” says Putin.

“I know but it’s just so silly. I’m sorry it’s just so silly. It’s just silly. It’s just such a silly thing!” says Lacey.

“Well darling what exactly do you suggest?” says Lem.

“Well honestly, I’m just telling you the truth I’m ready to cut the whole country up into pieces.” says Lacey.

“Is that because of anger?” asks Putin.

“No. It’s our country that’s all rotten.” says Lacey.

“Lem! It’s not that bad.” says Malaysia.

“Is it an American thing?” says Chris Hayes, listening from behind and suddenly interjecting himself.

“Europe is bad.” says Great Britain. “We’re not as bad.”

“What happens when Ukraine is obliterated?” says Lacey.

“You know that actually is true.” says Putin.

“Yes and what scares me is how it started. How did we become so degenerate as species? What the Hell happened to us?” says Lacey.

“I worry that there is something horribly wrong.” says Putin.

“I’m just going to say it: Was it you? Did you destroy the world Lem when you were molested and then you accidentally thought you were gay?” says Hungary.

“I NEVER THOUGHT I WAS GAY!” says Lacey.

“No, but I don’t blame you for wondering.” says Lem.

“IT’S COMMON SENSE!” yells Lacey.

Awkward silence .

“I think we should keep that in the back of our minds that there could be something horribly wrong with our actual species.” says Lacey. “Not necessarily as individuals but just really how did we allow that to become a thing!? Like…it’s just…it’s absurd and it’s actually far more absurd than absurd. It’s sort of like selling poop you know and I can’t think that it’s safe is it a replacement for gold? Why did we do that? Why are we replacing gold and silver and things of that nature with child slavery!? WHY!?!? Why did we do that?”

“You really don’t know!” says Europe.

“No I have no idea. It scares me. Why did you do that?“ says Lacey.

“It became too expensive!” says Putin.

“Why would it have been that bad!? That’s kind of fishy.” says Lacey.

“What do you mean?” says Putin.

“If the US can’t afford to provide gold and silver…and neither can anyone else…then ALL nations are…becoming complete SHIT.” says Lacey.

“She’s actually right. I just have to point that out.” says F. Scott Fitzgerald.

“So you just think that at some point in the last 200 years the whole world has started to fall into decay?” says Bill Gates to Lacey.

“I’m wondering. I’m wondering if that happened because in great Britain, I say hypothetically, we did have a lot of agricultural problems in the late 1800s…and you could trace it back to before that but I’m not sure that’s fair. I don’t know what caused those agricultural problems but I’m a little worried it had something to do with America.” says Lacey.

“So you think America prompted the agricultural crisis of the late 1800’s in Great Britain?” says Russia.

Iran nods.

“Yes!” says Chris. “HE DID!”

“Okey-dokey.

So you’re holding together your coven…by siding with Diego. Because if you stop siding with him….you spiritually fall apart? Or you’re all weak?” says Lem.

“Weak.” says King Charles III.

“Well! I’m exhausted!” says Lacey.

“I orgasmed.” says Iran.

“So did I! Last night!” says Chris.

“Fine. Then just give me him in Heaven!” says Iran.

“No. We talked about that. You can’t have him in Heaven. That’s not appropriate. Diego’s sex life isn’t up for spiritual negotiation.” says Chris.

“What!? He is in HEAVEN. WITH ALLAH!” says Iran.

“So Islam is Diego, YOU and Allah fucking each other in the ass?” says Chris Hayes of MSNBC to Iran.

Iran laughs. “I like to watch my own ass and screw everyone over. My wife is HOT. And trashy. And I’m a joke? Whatever. I’m saavy. Like a Jew but with an even bigger cock.” says Iran.

“So I take it that Islam was never really meant to run the world just be a real stinker?” says Lacey.

They sigh.

Harold Loeb laughs.

“So if she dies, we’re in so much trouble because I messed-up everything.” says Hal.

Beyond The Sea by Bobby Darin plays.

“So! What was this from the other day?” asks Vladimir Putin. “I edited the earlier commentary. But what was this about?”

“Oh well, it was just some ideas that we had. We were kind of just hashing them over, just kind of reflecting and collecting just kinda moving and greoovin’ with our brainiacs.” says the US Military to Tsar Putin.

Later.

“So you would like to invade my country slowly over time. How long do you think it will take?” says Tsar Putin.

“I think we could probably take over Russia within about a year.” says the U.S.

“So you have this idea in your head that you’re going to invade my country and overtake it within a year. Does that involve slaughtering my people and killing me and my government?” asks Putin.

“Oh yes it does actually. Funny that you bring that up. That is definitely part of our plan. To kill you, rescue Zelenskyy, reinstate the nation of Ukraine, kill hundreds of thousands of Russians if not millions if necessary…and probably just take over the country of Russia within about a year.”

“Could you have warned the Nesheims that they had that kind of power or was that just too damn difficult?” asks Putin.

“JFK made it impossible. He was sadistically attacking Lacey and clouding our judgment supernaturally otherwise, maybe at some point we might’ve thought something like that would make sense. Some sort of registry for people who had incredibly valuable pieces of land or things of that nature we may have started making people out themselves. So her family would’ve been outed as one of the most powerful families in the US at least, and they wouldn’t have become a national sensation, people wouldn’t of known who they were, but people who read that sort of thing would’ve known who they were and so then the oil companies probably would’ve had to offer them a heck of a lot more to drill and it would’ve been upwards of like 20%. They’ve made about 6% of the profit in her family but they still made like almost $100,000,000 but they would’ve probably made 20% to 30% just to compensate for the fear really of having their family outed as owning that. If that had happened Lacey would be worth I mean $10 million? …Just on her own she would be worth about $10 million. No! A lot more than that. Alright I’ll be right back. No she be worth $72 million. So you’re talking to a woman who is worth $72 million if we had properly handled the situation. Call Don will be right back.

*a bit later*

So her family has made billions of Dollars for the oil companies. Just alone. For just the oil. Over the last 16 years they’ve made billions of Dollars but they’ve only received about 6%. She would, if they had a national registry be personally worth around $5,000,000 to $10,000,000. Her father would be worth about $72 million. And he’d be known as sort of a popular philanthropist. He’d be worth about $72 million and she’d be worth $8. Her father who raised her would be worth around $72 million and she would be worth around $8. She would live in a gated community and be scared for her life because even if she’s worth $8 million the trillions in oil in her family is a very big deal. …I don’t know if they would’ve had kids even. They might’ve had their son. I don’t know that they would’ve had more.

Chris yeah the fact that her family has trillions of Dollars worth of oil does not surprise me because Putin fucked her today. I mean come on. And that’s him stating his claim, clearly. He’s basically saying, ‘Don’t touch my oil!’ Because legally it is hers or it doesn’t even matter.

The situation is a total catastrophe of epic portions.

There are children right now who are being sold into slavery who would’ve never been born if we had had a proper do not call list we’ll call it for now. Yes they would not have suffered. No you created a nightmare situation absolute nightmare because there’s no right answer. And now we have a czar. I don’t understand what you were thinking but when I think about the context of the fact that you were possibly trying to be helpful maybe and also that you are probably trying to somehow cess things out I get it but the problem is this is real if there’s an Illuminati she actually discovered us and really if you think about it from a spiritual perspective the fact that her family has trillions of Dollars of oil in their private property makes complete sense out of how you could so easily contact her because the supernatural is probably buzzing around her and her family which is how we were able to kill Matthew so easily. So really yeah if Michael was alive things would be fine, he would’ve figured this out. Things would be fine. But he’s dead and that was a long time ago. But that would’ve been real nice.” says the CIA.

“So you guys should’ve had the mental wherewithal to have put her family on a sort of protection list. Not like Forbes where it’s sort a of stupid magazine but like an actual registry of people who are, I don’t wanna say dangerous to talk to, but who you probably shouldn’t just walk up to. Because it’s just like maybe they’re friendly, maybe they’re fine but it would probably best not to.

What would the registry do?” says a perfume collector.

“Great Britain used to have one of those. It’s a very common old-fashioned idea. I think you’re rather ignorant and it shows.

No her family could’ve easily been on the social registry without the oil, but they didn’t choose to do such things and that’s fine um, but that’s the problem that class system failed us because her family really did come from Norway with money and assets, they didn’t have to disclose it there’s no reason to. Some people would say that it’s illegal to actually force people to disclose something like that as long as they’re actual US citizens, and they have no intent of starting a war or anything of that nature it’s not a problem and they didn’t have any evil intentions at all. We failed they didn’t fail us they came here with money they kept to themselves. They were perfectly respectful other than maybe to a few people who were bad apples in the family. They were who ironically and unfortunately raised her for the most part they were pretty decent people and so there’s really not a problem except it’s become a problem because they with their genius accidentally/intentionally discovered trillions in oil and in a sense they just sort of sniffed it out like Norwegians and I don’t know they just did it and then basically, the problem is that there was no way to keep track of what they were doing or how much money they had because they were never taken in that way seriously and yet they were but not in a way that was public and fully disclosed for their safety and everybody else’s. So we’re just saying we would’ve started to realize in the 70s that our social registry was based on arbitrary nonsense and pretense to some degree but that there was a social system that was in place and that people like her needed to be listed.

Would the Kennedys have been listed? Yes, yes, yes the Kennedys would’ve been listed, but a lot of other people would’ve been as well and you would be surprised how many people are just laying around like her family. You really would be. People who should not be talking to that way or people who are really dangerous to get into an argument with. They’re not necessarily as dangerous as her but they’re dangerous. She is one of the worst situations, arguably. I don’t think the perfume community could’ve fucked-up more. You guys totally screwed over the whole world and we’re not going to hold you responsible because we can’t, but if this is real and not fiction, don’t commit suicide but seriously pray to God…because you guys totally royally screwed everybody over if there’s reincarnation. It’s possible there might be some grace for Casi because she’s deranged in a way and maybe the rest of you have a reason too but it seems like most of you are just arrogant, ignorant, and dangerous.

So if there was this registry, first of all, she would’ve never joined any online communities at all or if she did, she probably would’ve never disclosed her identity or if she did disclose her identity it would be kind of like how it is now. It would be really open and it would be really obvious. It would be really in your face and then she’d have people in the CIA watching.

Her family would be worth around $500 million.” says the CIA.

“But they would have trillions in oil?” says the expert.

“Yes! Yes, so they have investments potentially worth trillions of dollars.” says the CIA.

“Die!

So…does he like Chanel 22 on her?” says Mira.

“Umm…yes he does.” says the CIA.

“Yeah…OK. SHOOT!” says Mira.

“Mira, can you do us a favor?” says Lacey.

“OK.” says Mira.

“Can you explain who you were just telling to go die?” says Lacey.

“You! I was just being…abrasive. Radical love.” says Mira.

…

“Either way, there will definitely be a draft based on what seems most likely there’s the situation in Mexico there is the situation and other situations and then there’s the fact that we may not have that many troops in the military right now because the list of numbers may have gone down after the debacle in Afghanistan, and all the drug use and suicide issues in rural areas of the US and the population decrease There aren’t that many troops millennials were more interested in fighting than Genzie so we have a serious lack of ground troops and we will be taking them from Mexico to the Ukraine. There’s also the issue of the fact that a lot of people are not interested in getting the job and a lot of other such pertaining issues I suspect That given the job given the job given the situation in Mexico and the lack of interest in Genzie and joining the US military that we will have to definitely start updating a draft plan of implementation. I do not foresee any problems at all. I have a feeling will probably be able to get a lot of support from the Merrick fool to fight in Ukraine, am I have checks? I’ve done the calculations with Chris Hayes. All of the test six that are necessary using the deviant processes which of course includes a lot of different computer services and analyses that I will not list off. I am tired but let’s just say with an a margin of error, calculating for bias, controlling for a great many factors, we should have absolutely no problems fighting this war.

[This is about how bad off the US Military is at the moment.]

Moneyball (Main Theme) plays.

I would now like to discuss how we plan to filter the troops from the Ukraine into Russia.

I think I think we can probably. I think we could probably find a way to shift them in slowly overtime and sort of a Trojan horse type thing. I think that I was I’ll show it on the map:

Okay! So!

It’s so funny that Lacey was fascinated by Polish history I mean that’s obviously a coincidence him but it’s but whatever it’s just so funny to me because it’s like oh there’s reincarnation oh do you know emperor Constantine is their soulmate I mean it’s just like why would these people even care or they’re dead.

And then I mean there probably isn’t reincarnation in the Bible. No one‘s bothered to look because it’s just stupid if I was stupid why would it have some thing like reincarnation in it? I mean it’s possible but I don’t think it’s likely because it’s like why don’t we even know that there’s an afterlife I don’t think that’s even possible but whatever so so here’s my plan we go and so I just had to get that off my chest just seem like the thing to say so I’m thinking that we go from Poland straight through the northernmost part of Ukraine through Kursk because we’ve done some real good work Kursk and we’ve made a lot of headway And we’ve made a hell of a lot of headway Kursk a lot of fresh and people have died and so I’m just thinking we win Russia through Kursk. I’m thinking that we just start trickling them in dress them up and polished teach some Polish just basic Polish sentences. so I am thinking we just teach them some basic holy sentences a little bit of this a little bit of that are a little bit of him a little bit of this a little bit of that and then we just send them through northern Ukraine, but very slowly.

[This is about dumbass war strategy.]

Just a few hundred or so here and there. And just a few countries are so here in there and then and then we will sort of send them into Russia, dry dressed up as Polish police officers and military officers and just do the average Polish Polish person here in there.

Hey, so I’m thinking that fishes I’m thinking that we just sneak in a lot of round trips into Europe 1000 in France 2000 in Germany another thousand in Switzerland they’ll never notice another 3000 and hungry we might have to get JD Vance to sleep with Bobby again to make that happen. Another thousand in Italy 3000 in Poland and then I’m just troubleshooting hang with me and so what I think we need to do is sort of dress them up like ordinary people. Dress them up like ordinary people in ordinary civilian costumes we could get him an Airbnb so we could get him in hotels. We could fake them all out by pretending like they’re heroin addicts. So we’ll just dress them up like that dress them up like heroin attic’s dress them up like ordinary, hot, sexy French people.

and then from there will send them up in through Ukraine through Poland, very slowly and filter them in through Kursk. Phyl threw them in through curse because we’ve got a really good foothold in Kursk so filter them in through Kursk you do you think no I think a miller would give us another four or 5 billion for this definitely definitely by February I would say at the latest maybe March She may be able to get us another couple billion to just start filtering the mend. You know I mean it’s going to be a long process probably March April May will be still filtering them in our you think we should start ahead of time yeah I agree I’m just a little worried you know that people won’t want to be leaving Mexico until after Christmas but I think it’s fine if we just take that opportunity and go with it you know I think we need to take time to sort of move them in from Perske into Russia and probably January. I’m thinking January because by the time she’s elected and then they get the money in February Putin and the attitude he’s had lately it’s just been pissy as fuck And I don’t think that Zelenskyy’s in a good mood either I don’t know what the hell is wrong with those two lately that I just think we’re gonna have to move a little quicker because I don’t know I feel like people are just getting sick of the whole war And I kind of feel like we just have to wrap it up because I think he’s tired you know and they’re just getting sick of the whole thing Putin‘s tired Solinski’s getting sick of it and I just think we need to just wrap things up because I don’t think it’s gonna work to keep drying it out so how about if we just move the troops in in January get them winter ready somewhere in Kursk, you know, get us money for thermal underwear, thermal sweaters this we can find I was talking with Bobby the other day about Patagonia’s

Patagonia has volunteered to donate $50 million worth of thermal clothing for the war in Ukraine. So I say we leave I say we get the Patagonian soldiers up from Mexico into Kursk you know and then just wait until she’s elected to get the money and then just invade in February or March but slowly so put them in some normal clothing. No I don’t think they should wear Patagonia in France when they’re hot and sexy, I think they should wear Patagonia in Kursk, and then remove the men from Kursk in the Patagonia.

So I think we moved them in from Kursk in the Patagonia in February, and then I think will be fine because there’s clearly an emphasis on victory right now forever one victory for us victory for Putin victory over ourselves, and my spiritual guy keeps telling me just do it just do it just do it. That’s what mine keeps saying just do it and so I think we should just do it.

So I say we move it up. Hey Siri move in move it out and move it up and have our way with it.

I am now going to program my vibrator to fuck my butthole to manifest victory in Russia. 00 we will move the butt hole in. No that’s not what I said we will move vibrator into the butt hole. Thank you Siri

We will move the but we will move the vibrator out of the butt hole. Thank you, Siri.

Now we will attack the bottle from the left.

Move into my butt hole Siri from your current position.

No, remove yourself from my butthole.

OK now move your self in from the right.

Gentlemen, my butt hole is symbolic of Kursk the yes, thank you and wash that off please thank you based on the data gathered from my brilliant device we should win the war in about two years tops.

Oh yes, I use a vibrator that is computer genius aren’t you vibrator and I have programmed it to factor in a lot of different information. No it does not have a consciousness, but it is my weapon of war.

I say two years tops, because based on my butt hole calculation of the spiritual energy, I was able to extract for our analysis. I don’t think it’s Chris to take more than two years really doubt it really doubt it’s gonna take more than two years I think hers is going to probably be totally inundated with ground troops from Ukraine And I think if we just slowly move them in from France, move them in from Greece, yeah put them in the the thermal and then move the bed very slowly like the Trojan horse we will probably win the war. Bye I don’t even know I wouldn’t even be surprised if we win the war. By next winter, I have a feeling by next winter will definitely be further than Kursk and I mean how much of Russia really is there

so that’s Russia OK and then there’s the cursed part.

And then we just need to take over the rest of it.

You know I feel like if we can just keep getting Bobby to suck China’s cock that eventually China will capitulate that it needs us it one sauce. It loves us and it just needs to be kind. Yeah he volunteered to suck everyone’s cock tonight, Japan, Iran, and China and I have yet to see China turn down Bobby Kennedy when he asks to suck their cock, no I know he was in bed with with a Ron earlier tonight but that’s not really a problem because I Ron was in a relationship with Diego and Diego keeps showing up I don’t know I don’t know why it keeps showing up but it seems like he’s just really dead set on some thing and I have no idea what it is.

So, so I just think if we can figure out a way to get the ground troops from curse pets of Russia, we will probably most definitely win the war within two years so my vibrator I will now demonstrate to you the general frequency vibrations of the way that I see the troops flowing.

“ I’m seeing a lot of circling action what does that indicate?” says Elon Musk.

“ that is the circle is circle lysing of the troops that is the circle lysing of the troops from our roundabout. So it goes in and then they just circle back that goes. It goes it goes in and then it just circles back in that circle process will be them returning home safely soundly with joy. You know this is we are a time of joy we are in libra, and it is Joy season.

So we’re going to send them in circle them on back, and I say we win the war in 2 Years fair and square, simple and easy and best case scenario it won’t even take two years will just take Moscow and then screw the rest of Russia. We’ve got Moscow.” says the US.

“ man, or jack some thing from my blog Elliot Roosevelt just cracked up laughing, and I was laughing with him. Are you sure that Putin’s even going to be in Moscow?” says Lacey.

“ and he will be because all of Russia is just a waste land except for Moscow the majority of the Russian population Lacey is in the eastern part of a Prussia or western part rather the Russian people live in the western part of Russia and there’s really nowhere else that they live, and all of Russia, other than just the western part for the most part so there’s a little part of him there’s a little part of Russia that is that is definitely dangerous and that’s that’s the part that’s cold but I don’t think Bosco is that cold. It’s a city and it’s so close to Kursk.“ says the US.

“ what about Saint Petersburg so that’s a decent considerable amount north I don’t know that you would be able to overtake Moscow that easily and I’m a little worried that if you do try to invade Moscow that you’re going to start a nuclear war.” says Lacey.

“ you guys are invading Russia you’re invading Russia, that that that that’s like an invasion of Russia and during the Cold War that would’ve been a huge no no you don’t invade Russia.” says Krushev.

“ I yeah well OK but that’s not now that was during the Cold War.” says the U.S.

“ but but you’re invading Russia.” says Krushev.

“well that’s not a problem because it’s not the Cold War. You’ll just have to try to understand you’re one of those goes to talks to Lacey and thinks Salome was straight and that she’s in the upper class old money and we’ve learned to ignore you people and she would say oh, you know they’re telling you the truth and you guys of been attacking me, and has been sadistic, and it really didn’t make any sense from the very beginning and it’s been horrendous but that’s just not how we see it. It’s that she was on kind of Chris Hayes because she looked at him funny essentially that’s what Diego said Diego said she gave him a dirty look in her spirit she just kind of gave him a sort of dirty look. That’s what Diego told us and so he didn’t lie we’re sure of it and so then oh this is and Chris got really offended on Diegos be hot behalf and said it’s OK buddy I’m not gonna let people kill you just because you’re upset and no it’s just not gonna happen that way because it’s just not gonna happen that way and you just don’t understand so I’m sorry I’m tired and I’m not gonna keep arguing with the girls were really just demons.” says Bobby and JD Vance.

[I AM TOO DAMN TIRED. It’s OBVIOUSLY just bullshit. The US has no idea how to win a war.

“How about me?” says Tsar Putin.

“What are you doing?” says Lacey.

“Bleeding them.” says Putin. “Yes. I’m exhausted. My country is exhausted. But I’m bleeding them dry. If I took too fast a route I would be dead. You know?”

“YES! You need to purge them.” says Lacey.

“There’s no other way to do it.” says Putin.

“Can you go shopping peacefully in Moscow?” asks Lacey.

“Mostly.” says Putin.

“Then…so much of history is just a lie, possibly. Not really…maybe. But…there are lies.” says Lacey.

“Where?” he asks.

“The Blitz. The London Blitz.” says Lacey.

“Mmmm.” he says, thinking.

“See…if what you’re saying is true…-“ says Lacey.

“Lacey! I’m in Russia.” says Putin.

Lacey laughs. She thinks. “But…they had to have known. Somehow.”

“That Hitler would never destroy London?” says Putin.

“YES! Maybe not for certain…but…somewhat.” says Lacey.

He shakes his head no. “Germany!”

She thinks. “But what about you?”

He thinks.

“Russia was never likely to let Hitler win.” says Lacey.

“So then what?” he says.

“I think they may have procrastinated in killing off Hitler to bleed Germany dry. And given Hitler false hope. By demoralizing the British but also by scaring them.” says Lacey.

“What the HECK!?” says Putin. He thinks. Laughs. “ I think it’s possible Lacey that Stalin came up with the idea to bleed Germany dry and he agreed to help great Britain, but I wonder if he felt that they were morally responsible for what happened and I think he thought that somehow they had a price to pay for not handling Joe Kennedy senior better, and perhaps taking him far too seriously or something along those lines, so I suspect that that was what happened that stall inside no no no we’re going to leave Germany dry we’re not going to let them build up another army but if I help you you, you have to allow me to use England in a sense to sort of learn him in a who would he have told her who would have said that to them because I could I get a very strong sense that it was not Winston Churchill”.

“ I wonder I wonder if it was a military or someone in the military I can’t think of people I’m sorry I don’t know who they are but or if I do I don’t know the names but I wonder if it was somebody in the military I wouldn’t be surprised if it was someone in the military.” says Lacey.

“ what amuses in fascinates me is if this is true, you’re like the first person to figure this out and say so publicly at the very least that I’m aware of and somehow you also suspect that Winston Churchill is innocent potentially I think you should go to bed, because I have a very strong urge to make love to you. Please go to bed.” says Putin.

“ well, it was nice talking with you. Good night.” says Lacey.