Lem laughs.
Today, as Lacey is continuing her ongoing analysis, she’s begun to realize that Lem had to have been straight.
Beanie by Chezile plays.
Yes…he had to. As in, it’s impossible he wasn’t straight.
But…today, if there’s an Illuminati, the Kennedys are insisting Jack never had a sexual relationship with Lem. …Yes. As unbelievable as that is. Their new argument is that…even if Lacey can use…extremely intelligent…impossible to refute logic…to prove that Lem, her eternal other half, was straight…Jack must have been…just his friend.
“Then how do you explain Lem’s comments?” asks a living gay reader, on behalf of exasperated Aliens…should they exist and be watching. Frustrated by humanity.
Beanie (Sped) plays.
“He was obsessed with Lem? …And that was because why? He was jealous and possessive of Lem?” says a living gay man.
Luigi cracks-up laughing in the afterlife.
“Yes.” says Joe II, tentatively.
“Hmm.” says the living gay man.
“So you want us to now believe…that Jack…obsessively controlled Lem…taking up huge amounts of his time…and using his sexual confusion against him? Because Jack was bisexual…?” says a living gay man.
“Not…necessarily.” says Joe II.
“Oh! Not necessarily!?!?” says the living gay man.
“I mean…couldn’t Jack have been straight?! …And just…controlling?” says Joe II.
“Umm…” says the living gay man.
“I mean…” says Joe II.
“But why!? …Why would Jack have been so obsessed?” asks a woman in LA.
“Ahh…
*the song starts over*
0:19
*He exhales*
*the song starts over after it plays all the way through*
0:29
Ahh….well…he’s…a nar-narcissist…” says Joe II.
1:29
The song restarts yet again. After playing through to the the end…yet again.
“But WHY!?” says the Gen. Z woman in LA who’s dating a non-binary person. She’s a model. Very genuinely beautiful. And her other half…slightly resembles Peter Lawford.
“YES! They do!” says Joe Biden.
“Creepy.” says something. If it’s an alien it’s probably being slightly condescending.
“It’s greed!” says that person, who looks like Peter Lawford. “It’s not about orientation. It’s about GREED.”
“Worship of mammon.” says God.
And at that that person…who genuinely resembles Peter Lawford…cries. Over the state of humanity in 2024.
Their girlfriend looks unsurprised. Smiles.
“So!” this extremely pretty young woman says. “Would you ever date me?”
“What!?” says Joe II.
She nods. “Could you get a girl like me?”
The song restarts.
“To really love you?” she says.
He looks serious.
“No.” says Joe Kennedy Junior. “The real answer is no.”
Bobby Kennedy Senior smiles sadly.
“Yeah!
WHY!?” she says…with misty…cathartic…melancholy.
“They LACK DEPTH!” says Joe Kennedy Junior. “And good-looks. …Of that caliber.”
“True!” says Bobby Kennedy Junior, being brutally honest.
“So! …Where are you taking this? …Why not just admit the truth? Jack wasn’t straight!” she says, with an earnestness harkening back to the Hippies.
“Well…Lotus…I can’t stand it!” says Joe Kennedy II.
She thinks. In response. Silently.
“You’re tragic.” she says. “God respects my honesty. …Lying…doesn’t make Jack a straight saint.” she says.
Beanie (Slowed) by Chezile plays.
They walk off together. God watching. God being God.
“I love her!!!” says the person she dates. The person who looks like Peter Lawford. “I LOVE HER.” They lick their lips. “AS ONLY TWO ADULTS CAN LOVE EACH OTHER.” they say, smiling sincerely.
0:12
Lacey glares at the Kennedys. Sitting in LA in her spirit. A menacing glare.
“Who started THE FIRE!?” she says. “Not me! I’m Scottish. And it ain’t CHICAGO. …Not no more!” says Lacey. “It’s LA! …Just…well…the closest place to Hell on Earth. Right? …So…who cares, I guess. …I mean…what the Hell!? …Like…fire. …THERE’S…OBVIOUSLY…FIRE…in HELL.” She thinks. “And the the joke is that the Irish started the historic fire in Chicago. Not…well…the Scottish. Or anyone else. Just…a bunch of poor, tragic Irish immigrants.
…But…this is LA. So…it’s not funny. …Epic fires. Same! But…it’s just…nothing!
…I mean my dad had ties to Chicago. But…
And my actual family might live here! But…
Whatever!
…Ahh…so…how does Jack…become so weirdly possessive?” says Lacey.
“Fine. He’s bisexual.” says living Bobby.
“Yeah!!!” says Lacey. “Huh. …Makes sense!” she says. “So…Jack was…obsessed…and pathologically controlling of Lem…who was sexually confused…as he himself was bisexual…but nothing happened? …Jack never raped Lem? …I mean in a way he did. Because…he ruined Lem’s whole life. …That’s almost a sort of a rape. On a grand scale. …But…that’s all?
Beanie (Sped) by Chezile plays.
Jack was chaste?” says Lacey.
A dead LA criminal who worked with Tommy Banks cracks-up laughing. Cackling.
“Jack was a chaste…bisexual?” says Lacey.
Red Fay laughs too now.
Bobby and Joe II blink. Dumbfounded expression on their faces.
“I mean…you want us to believe that he was psychotically obsessed with Lem…who he lusted after…and fell for because Lem…was…there. …Except…even Lem got confused…and may have even tried to date Jack…Jack was so…adamant about homosexual being wrong…that he was…a good friend…and resisted harming Lem. Just…destroying his life. But…Jack never touched Lem. Never… Just…kept him around him at all times. No touching.” says Lacey.
They smile. Bobby shrugs. Joe blinks profusely.
“Jack…who raped numerous other people. Never touched Lem?” says Lacey.
Bobby shrugs.
And suddenly Joe II looks almost ill.
“Wow.” says Lacey. “Yeah. I can almost prove that Jack was bisexual. And I can prove Lem was straight. …But I can’t prove that Jack wasn’t just obsessed with Lem. I can’t prove that Jack…didn’t just obsessively control Lem’s life and try to control the narrative too to make it seem like they were madly in love. Even while he slept with dozens of other people. Just…out of a sort of…closeted…avoidant…deranged…sexuality.
At least not yet.
But…then what? You’re insinuating that Jack was…desperate. Sexually profoundly repressed. …Embarrassingly controlling. DESPERATE! …Unable to form a secure bond with another gay man…or bisexual…that was real…because he felt what? Safer living in an imaginary…limerence love affair with his traumatized, sexually confused ‘best friend.’” says Lacey. She smiles. “No. I can’t easily argue against that right now. Neither can James Joyce apparently. …From what I’m hearing. So…while I find that extremely unlikely…and I’d rather you be honest. …It’s closer that what you’ve admitted to so far.
So…for now…in Christ…that’s who your whole family is agreeing JFK actually was? Secretly? And henceforth…all people will be in that? In Christ? David Pitts will…be…rejected? By SCHOLARS.” says Lacey.
“Yes!” says Mary Richardson through Bobby. And he has no recourse. As he’s damned still with her. Possibly in some way. Or she’s using someone else he’s damned himself with…but can’t recall.
“Yeah! …Because Lem…is straight. And was. And…Jack wasn’t. And Lem…well…he couldn’t have been happy with a narcissist.” says Lacey. “He’s deep…but lying about his feelings for Jack.”
“YUP!” says Joe II, upset.
“Why are you throwing Jack off a cliff?” asks Lacey.
Bobby smiles. “Are we!?” he says.
Joe Kennedy Junior winks at Lacey.
“So…you’re going to distance yourselves from him?” says Lacey. “Or I just accidentally gave you that?”
They look at her.
“Umm…we’re Irish. …And yes. We were poor.” says Joe II, almost crying. “We can’t tolerate homosexuality. Not like you do I guess. We’re not English overlords. …To us…it’s still…sick. …But we lie about it. …Bobby less so, these days.
…So…
*Beanie (Sped) by Chezile plays.*
I guess that’s our problem. Or God…honors us…in our…poverty. …Even if we’re evil…we refuse to let go…and…fully assimilate. How about that?
So…yeah! …Let Jack be the sick one. …Let him be the weird one who…hurt everyone. Me. Bobby. …My father. …Joe! …Don’t lie. I know that bothered you…and it still could. …We’ve all heard the stories about Joe weeping at the birthday for grandpa. …And you know he did.
…Getting your dad to love you…is…important. I miss mine like Hell.
So so be it! …I mean…you’re probably right. …But…I just can’t let people have him. I can’t let the…straight side of Jack Kennedy get lost. I can’t let him turn into a…gay icon. …It’s not right.” says Joe Kennedy II.
Lacey half smiles, in understanding.
“I’m hearing you. Whether you’re sincere or totally full of shit.” says Lacey.
Bobby Kennedy Junior nods.
Joe Kennedy II thinks.
“Have a good day. I’m praying.” says Lacey. “Really.”
Joe Kennedy II nods briskly. Like a German.
Lacey smiles politely.
“I’m not a cruel lover.” says Elizabeth II to Lacey.
“Ahh…that’s the rub.” says Lacey. “Isn’t it!?”
“Yeah. …Because if Jack is a chaste…brutally closeted bisexual…and Lem was straight but confused…then what am I? …People will figure out that I was…madly in love with Philip. …And my actual chaste behavior and actual loyalty to my husband-“ says Elizabeth.
“No! Because…that’s all it is! …We’re just complicated and British.” says Prince Philip.
Kate Middleton smirks.
“But somehow…if they actually leave it at this…I seem…tawdry.” says Elizabeth.
“NO! …Because everyone knows we were really in love.” says Philip.
“But did I seduce you!!? Did I have many lovers? …Lacey…is my friend.” says Elizabeth.
“I was a seductress!” says Queen Victoria, drily.
They think.
“But…I doubt…anyone would question my…authenticity.” says Queen Victoria.
“Where are the gaps!?” yells Queen Elizabeth II. “Because this isn’t the whole truth!”
“Mind…the gaps.” says a living British comedian in the Illuminati. He dated Katy Perry.
Just by Radiohead plays.
Lacey takes a piece of reality…and twists…it.
It shakes off the lies.
Dead…poor Irish immigrants…from Chicago…are unnerved at first…but then seeing her…praying the Rosary…in the past…in Christ…they tilt their heads…sigh…and just chill out…looking at her. Confused.
“Lacey!” one of the men yells. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!”
“I’m getting rid of lies!!!” she yells.
“Good.” says a mother.
“It’s in Christ. I think it will be okay.” she says.
“Yeah.
Do you understand why they’re lying!?” another woman asks her.
“Yes! …But it’s too dirty. …I’m sorry.” says Lacey.
“I’ll pray!!!” yells a man.
“Please do!!! IN CHRIST!!” yells Lacey.
He sighs. Nods.
“You’re not starving anymore! …WHAT!? …Be happy your DEAD!” she bites.
One of them shrugs and nods. “I mean you’re right.”
“I’m sorry. …But come on! …You can stop starving. You’re DEAD!” she says, in Christ.
“Yeah. True.” says one of them.
“Enjoy HEAVEN!” says Lacey.
“That’s harsh.” says one of them.
“WHAT ELSE IS THERE!??” she says.
They close their eyes in horror. But not fear. Because they’re with Christ…and at peace.
“Do you- Your life is too harsh.” says one of them.
“NO SHIT!!” yells Lem. Fuming,
“FUCK!!!” yells one of them.
“Yeah. It’s too damn evil.
…I’m ending it. THE WHOLE DAMN THING.” says Lacey.
“I shouldn’t have been sacrificed.” says Diana.
“Me too.” says Marilyn.
“To protect the public from what!? …Us!?” says the model from LA.
“Yeah. …What if you’re actually crazy?” says Donald Trump.
“But see…it’s…TOO EVIL.” says Lacey. “And…there’s nothing I can do. I have to…deal.”
1:30 plays as Joe Kennedy Junior sings about himself.
“It’s not actually Hell.” says Jesus. “Hell is separate. To clarify.” He smiles. “Separate from Earth.”
“I hear you.” says the model to Lacey. “You can’t trust us. But you want to also help us and protect us. Almost like Britain.”
“Yes.” says Queen Elizabeth II.
“But…Lacey…this isn’t Britain.” says her significant other.
And at that Lacey cries.
“Sorry. I had to say it like a dad.
Too important for you not to hear it.
Keep fighting…but…don’t…try to…live in the…flames. …You get it. …LET GO!” they say.
Keen to Cross the Pond 