“Making Him Wait” by Lem

“Why do some women make men wait?” Lacey asks Lem, and others.

Laura Harring laughs.

“What!?” says Lacey.

“I HEAR YOU!!!” yells Sydney Pollack at Lacey.

“Why?” a living gay man asks Sydney Pollack.

“Because I WANT SEX!!” says Sydney Pollack.

“Okay…but doesn’t it matter??” says the gay man.

“Because I want sex.” says Sydney Pollack.

“But then what’s she supposed to do?” says the gay man.

Sydney thinks.

“Why do women put it off?” says Lacey.

“To gain the upper hand!” says a Millennial woman.

“Or for religious reasons!” says Lacey. “Are there any other reasons?”

“To get the man to prove himself!” says a woman.

“If he doesn’t at first…he never will. I see moral reasons but not…psychological reasons.” says Lacey.

“What about pregnancy?” says Lem.

“Yes! …But…that’s not quite what I’m getting at.” says Lacey.

“You’re DUMB!” says a Greatest Generation man to a group of Millennials.

“We…pretend to not wait. But in truth…we did. And do. We just have systems.” says a Millennial.

“Like what!?” says a Black man.

“Like…we sleep around. Have one night stands. And then…wait…to take them seriously as people.” says a Millennial. “So we actually wait for sex, in a sense.”

“Why have one night stands then?” says a Boomer.

“To…be…indifferent. And cold. And…cruel. And…possibly find love. And because it’s…sex and we needed sex as adults. …It’s actually totally dysfunctional and depressing.” says a woman.

“So you all slept around to control each other!?” says a Boomer.

“Yup.” says a Millennial woman.

“We depersonalized sex. And made it seem…liked nothing. Even though it’s not. Just to trick each other. Whoever cried uncle first…lost.” says a Millennial man.

“Wow! That’s sociopathic.” says the CIA.

“You know…it is.” says a Millennial woman.

“As we’ve aged…the truth has come out. We…ruined our youth. Pretending we didn’t need love.” says a Millennial man.

“We aren’t like you.” says a man in India to Lacey.

“You’re calculating!” says Lem.