“Windy City Blues” by Lem

Windy City Blues as performed by Jelly Roll Morton plays.

“Why can’t that analogy be used?” says Matthew Perry.

“Because then she’s an innocent woman. Sweet, dark, beautiful…sad…and…like me…but also totally not.” says Casi.

“That’s who she is.” says Matt Perry.

“It is.” says Sydney Pollack.

“Then I didn’t change anything!!!” says JFK. “LEM IS THE SAME! And…I JUST CONFUSED PEOPLE.”

“Why are you letting her wash dishes?” says Casi.

Doctor Jazz as performed by Jelly Roll Morton plays.

“She can do whatever she wants!” says a woman.

“But that’s WEIRD.” says Casi.

“It is. …I didn’t have it in me to be vulnerable. …And I had bad intentions.” says Joel. “I wanted to date her sincerely. But…also sleep with her.”

Casi thinks. “Why don’t any of you TRY HARDER!??” she screams in the afterlife.

“Yeah.” says Joel.

“The only person who could have made a difference is Joel.” says God. “Nolan might have. But Joel was it.”

“And then what!?” says Casi.

“This!!” says God.

“No one else!?” says a man.

“No! …You all have been far too optimistic. Finding love is very difficult. …And too many obstacles makes it even more difficult.

Joel was pretty much it.” says God. “There’s a reason I’ve allowed her to talk to Lem.”

Later.

Jack Schlossberg laughs with Lacey. Someone took his phony energy ball recipe as anti-Semitic. And…it was meant to be the opposite.

“Was the my grandfather or not?” he says.

“That was us.” says Edith Beale. “You sounded like me.”

“Am I crazy?” says Jack.

“No. …But…you sounded like me. And Lacey.

Why are we yelling?” she says.

“I’m trying to be heard.” says Lacey.

“Us too.” says Edith.

Jack laughs.

“Lacey…was Lem straight?” says Caroline.

“I can’t figure it out.” says Lacey in spacey voice.

“She can’t.” says Lem.

She tries to concentrate.

“Yes????” she says like Selma Blair at her most confused in Cruel Intentions.

Caroline nods.

“I think you are prettier than my father.” she says to Lacey.

Lacey thinks. “Yeah.” says Lacey.

“That’s not going away.” says Caroline. “You’re stuck that way.”

Lacey looks shocked.

“Yeah. My dad was a predator too.” says Caroline.

“Yeah!” says Joe II.

“I’ll pray for you!” says Lacey to Caroline.

“Gosh she does weirdly feel old.” says Caroline.

“She does.” says Michael.

“What happens if he isn’t confirmed?” says Lacey.

“Yeah!!!!” says Donald Trump to her.

“Lem I’m feeling confused.” says Lacey to Lem.

“Jack what was the joke?” says someone to Jack Schlossberg.

“I was making fun of Donald Trump. And accusing him of being anti-Semitic. Not suggesting a real recipe.” says Jack Schlossberg.

“I took it as anti-Semitism too.” says a Trump supporter.

“I thought it was more clear than that.” he says.

“I thought you were anti-Semitic.” she says.

“No!!” says Jack Schlossberg.

Lacey is outed from the kitchen by Edith Beale.

“Lacey…you’re laughing…with Jack Schlossberg…via telepathy.” says Edith.

“I should have caught on…when Elliott Roosevelt manifested.” says Lacey.

“That would have been a good moment to catch on!!” says Jack Schlossberg.

“Yeah. I suppose that doesn’t make any sense.” says Lacey to Edith.

Edith stares at her. “Why are we so comfortable with each other? You’re not Jack! …Never were. WHY!?!?”

“I think I just thought you were an unusually nice person.” says Lacey.

“And that I just go around talking to people!?” says Edith.

“Yes.” says Lacey.

“Then why am I slightly jealous of you!?” says Edith.

“For silly reasons? Because you all go around talking to lots of people. And…Joe hit on me. And….maybe it made you jealous. Something like that!” says Lacey.

“Because we’re so bored being dead and all?” says Edith.

“YEAH.” says Lacey.

“No! Sweetie…you got confused. …I get it. But…no. …It’s too…easy.

And if I’m in Heaven I shouldn’t be jealous like that.” says Edith. “You’re confused.”

“Well I just don’t want to think that highly of myself.” says Lacey.

“What if that’s who you are!??” says Edith.

“Then it can’t be that big of a deal!” says Lacey.

“NO! It is!!!” she says.

Lacey thinks.

“Why didn’t Joel try harder!??” says Lacey.

“I AGREE!!!” yells Casi.

“Whoops.” says Caroline.

“I think we may have needed him.” says Lacey.

Caroline nods.

“What happened?!!” says the CIA.

“It’s UGLY.” says Joel.