Happy Rockefeller by Happy

Lacey knows I’m a woman.

I’m not a man. Nor ever have been.

I photographed very badly.

Shawshank Prison (Stoic Theme) by Thomas Newman plays.

Life. Life on Earth in the so-called “living” world is dim. Dull. Lifeless. Compared to the eternal life we have in death with Christ. Because Christ conquered death. Paradise is not in the fallen world. …Many people alive today who call themselves Biblical scholars don’t understand that. …They think Heaven isn’t real. Hell isn’t real. …But they are.

Yes. I’m Happy Rockefeller. …And when I died…I met Christ.

Most of Lacey’s life I protected her. Unbeknownst to her. But she felt it. Every day. She felt my protective spirit. …And so when I died in 2015 her life went drastically downhill. Slowly but surely. …Why? Because I prayed. …I trusted God that He had had some wonderful woman for Michael. Michael was my step-son. And I just knew…some woman had to have existed. SOMEWHERE. …And knowing that in my spirit I prayed for her as…I knew Michael would have made her…exceedingly happy. He was a very loving, intelligent, caring…great man. We missed him profoundly. …And so I functioned as protective force in her life. Unbeknownst to me too in a way. …I offered her a sense of love…and hope. People who care do. God uses us in the fallen world to bring His love. And it makes an enormous difference!

But when I died…the light of God specifically for Lacey that I reflected…died with me.

Lacey a Rockefeller!? Oh! What a narcissistic thing for this woman writing this blog to claim! YUCK! …Right?! …Well…no. …Lacey is exceptionally beautiful. And…her soul is and was perfectly made to have been his wife. She isn’t an arrogant nor vain nor conceited woman. …She’s just as in shock as you are. Really!! …But God has shown her the things she writes on this blog. …And…her soul, which is somewhat interrelated with her body, is…and was…made for…Michael. Some people are…born into certain blessings. And she was one of them. …And what’s really repulsive is that even as her body was crafted to be with Michael…she’s not experiencing that. …She’s not being loved.

Everyone needs love, you know? …Rockefeller or Smith from rural Kentucky. …We all need love. …And when a human is viciously and tragically denied that it’s…heinous. …She’s living a life of brutal emotional starvation. A whole damn life of it. …And what’s worse is that she’s one of the kindest, sweetest people…I’ve ever met. …The tough woman you know…who tells people what for…is her being strong for herself in a startlingly bleak life.

No, don’t lie to me and tell me that Heaven isn’t real. And I don’t need to “move on” neither. …I’m exceedingly glad to be dead, to be honest.

Lacey is hiding with me today.

She’s at my house. In her spirit.

Why?

Because she feels safer with me than with a lot of other people. …Because…maybe we’re like the Nesheims. Except…we like her. A lot. *I laugh lovingly* …We understand her. …And she’s tired of this nonsense about Lem.

That latest article in the Daily Mail was…desperate.

The thing is…Lacey’s not like that. …Michael was bisexual anyway! …He was! …And yet…he’d have loved Lacey more than anyone! More than any man. …And not because she’s a man! Because he’d have just loved her. Just her. She would have been more than enough for him. And what’s more…he’d have been more than enough FOR HER. …Her whole life! She’d have never remarried! …Even if they just spent 20 years together. She’d have been…perfectly content. …Michael loved. He freely LOVED. And Lacey would have felt…alive.

You’re all so caught up on thinking Lem was gay. …You know…Kinsey was a sicko. …But he had some great ideas too. He harmed children. And that’s…beyond vile. …Yet his work on the perspective of homosexuality as a continuum was very scientific. And…I’m not sure why Lem has to have been 100 % GAY!? *she laughs* …To be honest…very few men are 100% gay. Very few people are 100% heterosexual. Far more than gay though, actually. Today that is. …In the past there actually were more 100% heterosexuals. It was common. Not rare at all! …But those alive today who are 100% heterosexual are in a sizable minority. Lacey is one of them. And her life is Hell. …Frankly…the Earth is overpopulated and in a terrible state. So…Mother Nature is in a love/hate relationship with her. Her beauty and fertility are…precious to nature…even as its fallen…but…she can’t be rewarded like she was created to be, with love and lots of children. …She has children. But…sometimes I think nature feels anguish over her fate. Should she die or should she live? …It’s a nightmare for not just her.

Nice and other creatures can hear her! She’s talked to them and they’ve responded. I’ve seen bugs greet her when she’s with her children. Coming to her arm and landing there to “say hello” to her and her kids. Innocent little flies. …Her kids crying when they have to say goodbye. …It’s torment. For Earth itself.

She’s not JFK. Never has been. …She’s more akin to Snow White. Or Cinderella. …Certainly not JFK.

His Judgement Cometh by Thomas Newman plays.

Here’s the problem: My son Michael was meant to be her husband. They’re actual soulmates. If there’s reincarnation she was his first cousin through marriage.

And this…is where…you’ve got…to stop questioning EVERYTHING.

If there’s reincarnation she is Lady Rosslyn. She’s a member of the St. Clair family. …The history of her was erased. We’ve explained why already. There’s no record of her father ever being married almost at all. …Almost at all. …If there’s reincarnation you could find some evidence of it if you looked long and hard enough. But it’s been very hidden. …And yes, Queen Victoria herself was the one who did it.

My son, Michael, was the Earl of Westmoreland. Her first cousin. If there’s reincarnation. And…he’s very protective of her. Naturally. …They already are family, in a way. Through marriage. Should there be reincarnation.

…So! That part…is FACT. I’m not debating it with you!! IT’S FACT. …NOT THEORY!!

…If there’s reincarnation…she’s Lady Rosslyn. And my son was the Earl of Westmoreland. I promise. No exceptions. No flaws. No “what ifs”. …Nothing!!! It’s EXACTLY AS I SAY.

And if you find that threatening or sad…or upsetting…well…that’s ultimately between you and God. …Because if there’s reincarnation…I’m tired personally of that part especially being thrown around like a ball in a game. IT’S NOT A GAME!! It’s OUR EXISTENCE!!!

…My intended daughter-in-law…was Lady Rosslyn. …And…I love that as a ROCKEFELLER…that that makes COMPLETE SENSE.

I’m not Lacey’s mother…but you can think of me as a maternal force. If God allows it.

If there’s reincarnation God disciplines the ones He loves. …Michael…Lacey…and Lem…we’re all severely punished for their sin as the ruling elite of the British Empire. …But what’s pure evil…is how much more Lacey has been punished. And how exceedingly beyond excessive it is. …She already had suffered. Greatly. Four miscarriages! An orphan! And then the death of her husband! …She already was suffering greatly. …Her suffering so much more…has been SICK.

But maybe there’s not reincarnation. Maybe…she’s just Lacey Banks.

And she is FOR CERTAIN Lacey Banks. Her father is Thomas Banks. Son of Clinton Banks. And he’s a huge fan of his granddaughter. …I think she reminds him of his wife. And he did love his wife. And…she’s just…a dear little soul to him. …He’s a very tough man. Very stoic. And he loves how she is too…in her own sweet way. …She was also exposed to the pioneer mindset being raised by the Nesheims in the late 20th Century. On that farm out in Western North Dakota. And so…her toughness is one of a pioneer at times, much like Mr. Clinton Banks.

She was meant for Michael.

When Michael died…she was doomed. Should she be born. And there’s nothing anyone can do about it.

There were other men. But…none of them were Michael. …He was her best chance at happiness.

Emanuel Swedenborg was off his rocker in some regards…but not entirely. …And she and Michael really were intended for each other.

But you know who’s even better? Lem. Really. It’s insane to think he was 100% gay. …Absolutely INSANE. …Men who are entirely gay look it. …It’s OBVIOUS. …And there’s nothing about Lem that looks remotely 100% homosexual! GET REAL!!!!

Lovely Raquel by Thomas Newman plays.

You cannot tell me…that that man…is 100 GAY! NO WAY!!!

…He did act gay. In his mannerisms. And I think…to me…he would have seemed at least a little bit homosexual. But…I’m not dumb enough…or backward enough…to assume he was entirely homosexual. …I mean no offense…but the Kennedys are. …And had Lacey been there…and Michael been with someone else…I have no doubt…Lem would have had a tumultuous affair with Lacey. Shocked everyone! Because he wasn’t entirely gay. …And JFK was…a JERK. …That man was an absolute asshole! …That’s FACT. These are all FACTS. …And…Lacey and Lem naturally get along. Extremely well. She’s very deep. Very sweet. And sharp. …And MEEK. …And extremely beautiful. And Lem…would have found a dear friend in her. If he was gay at all. A real friend. Someone he could trust entirely. Open up to. Be himself around. TRUST. …I don’t know why people who keep attacking her think trust is so meaningless in a relationship. …It’s a HUGE red flag.

They would have been…real best friends first. Had he been in a real romantic relationship with Jack. They would have been…close. And…given time…she would have had an affair with him. Yes. …Because as attracted as Joe Junior was to her…and he really was…and as much as he would have adored being Tom Banks’s son-in-law…Lem would have been capable of loving her so much more. And he would have. …Had they even had a real homosexual relationship.

The Quality of Mercy by Max Richter plays.

It’s deeply upsetting to some living people who are…PATHETIC. But…Lem was heterosexual.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry if that shatters Bobby. I’m sorry if that sends Caroline into the depths of despair. Should they be hearing this. …I’m sorry if Joe feels…gloomy. …But I’m afraid it’s true.

The thing is…Lem was never 100% homosexual. …And Jack was a fool. A fool. And a cruel…thoughtless…heartless…cad. A TOTAL LOSER. …And if his family choses to remember him otherwise then that’s their prerogative. …But…in reality…he was a total freak loser. …A LOT of people HATED him. …Passionately hated him. …And for sane, decent reasons. …He had terrible character.

And so even if Lem Billings was bisexual…or mostly gay…there’s still a huge chance he could have fallen hopelessly in love with Lacey. …His loyalty to Jack…if it was based on actual homosexuality…was foolish. …It was sweet. If it was real. Very sweet. …Very selfless. …And that’s something they’ve…MASSACRED. The Kennedys. They’ve massacred Lem’s heart. Publicly. For the sake of their own egos. …Because who talks about why he cared so much!? Or HOW he cared. …If he did. …Because…Jack was a LOSER.

La vie en Rose by Louis Armstrong plays.

Jack Kennedy was an absolute asshole! A total fuckwad! A JERK! A MISERABLE PIECE OF SHIT! …And Lem HAD HUMAN EMOTIONS. …Lem was A HUMAN. …Kirk LeMoyne Billings had real human emotions. He EXISTED. …As his own BEING. His very own human being. …And there’s NO WAY he was never hurt by Jack. Jack was hurtful. HOW do the living Kennedys imagine he was NEVER deeply hurt!? …IT’S ABSURD!! There’s NO WAY. …THERE IS NO WAY…Jack NEVER DEEPLY, DEEPLY hurt him. NO WAY. It’s IMPOSSIBLE. …It’s TOTALLY IMPOSSIBLE.

And so…as Lem certainly wasn’t entirely gay…and he had human emotions and needs…as his own person…Lacey could EASILY have been the love of his life. …Jackie and him never got along well enough. Ethel and him barely did. …And neither of those women are nearly as attractive as her.

Epilogue by Johann Jóhannsson plays.

It’s LIKELY they would have had a romantic and sexual relationship. Had she been there for more than five minutes. They’re very attracted to each other.

Would he have hidden it? …Doubtful! …Lem was a far more drastic man than that. And so is Lacey.

That’s REALITY.

So…they can post whatever they want! Dirty messages between Jack and Lem? Whatever! …Jack wasn’t capable of sustaining a real long-term connection that mattered. And Jackie was ripe for the picking too. And some men did!

…Lem said things that are very opaque. But the human mind isn’t that mysterious. And there’s NO WAY he was actually happy. Lem that is! I don’t care what he seemingly said. The reality of the situation speaks for itself! People say complicated things. With nuanced meanings. …And he could also have been lying. Lying for many reasons. Pride. Fear. Loyalty. Many reasons. The REALITY OF THE SITUATION IS THE REALITY OF THE SITUATION.

Bobby Kennedy Junior is ugly compared to Lacey too. He’s ugly and STUPID AS SIN compared to my son Michael. He really is. …And you can’t tell me…that Lem would have favored him over her. NO!! WHAT A FUCKING JOKE! …That snake! That dirty shithole! I can’t stand that man! …If Lem was gay at all he broke Lem’s heart anyway! …And Lem…being sane and not completely stupid would have OBVIOUSLY chosen Lacey. Had she been there. …Because Bobby had nothing to offer. Lacey had everything Bobby ever had and more. …Men don’t just want someone to use drugs with. You know? Some short idiot who makes messes for them to clean up after. …Lem wasn’t just some weirdo who liked to act like a stupid teenager all of the time. He wasn’t a perverted weirdo. Or an immature freak. He was a grown man. With adult interests and feelings. And there’s nothing about men or the Kennedys in particular that he would have favored more. Wanted more. …Bisexuals are capable of falling equally in love with both men and women. And…Lem would have been a bisexual. So…by default…as much as Bobby likes to DEMAND with violent misogyny otherwise…there’s nothing he nor any other man could have given Lem that she couldn’t also given him. And actually she offers him SO MUCH MORE.

So WHY…WHY…wouldn’t Lem OBVIOUSLY prefer her!? OBVIOUSLY! A woman he could build a life with. …Because as much as he could be interpreted as a shallow bisexual materialist…based on his depth, as displayed in his fascination with art, and based on human psychology…is clear as day…that he wasn’t happy with Jack. Not really. Jack offered him no real life. No clear relationship. No fidelity whatsoever! Open relationships are built on love and trust if they’re real.

Mountains by Hans Zimmer plays.

And Jack and Lem had no such open discussion that was based in reality nor trust. Because Jack was in denial about the situation from the start. And he was very cruel and abusive to Lem. …Even if polyamorous relationships are real…they’re built on healthy bonds. And that requires trust and good faith. Jack was abusive and unfaithful and in denial. Lem never knew if he was coming or going, if he cared. Instead having to constantly guess. If there was anything there at all. …It was all built on Lem’s intuition, if anything existed. …So you have to see…no matter what Lem says…and what he says is suspect anyway…there was no chance at real happiness. …It wasn’t just that homosexuality wasn’t allowed. Jack was a JERK. Remember!?! …And weirdly no one ever analyzes that. …And that’s very suspicious. …Isn’t it!?

Anyway…despite whatever prideful, silly, and possibly romantic things Lem said…if he was bisexual…he’d have chosen Lacey, had she been there, in a heartbeat. In a second.

Domestic Pressures by Jóhann Jóhannsson plays.

And they’d have been immensely and truly happy together. …Don’t tell me Lem and Jack were soulmates. They had very little in common, really. …They were both unfortunate men who happened to meet at a vulnerable moment in both of their lives. …But their personalities and interests and…tastes…were…very different. They were very different people.

Jack…was not straight. And part of the reason we lie about their pseudo relationship is to believe the false narrative Jack wanted to believe himself about himself. That he was straight. …But he wasn’t straight at all. He intrinsically was mostly gay. *she laughs at evil-hearted liars*

Lux Aeterna by Clint Mansell & Kronos Quartet plays.

Lacey’s being suffocated now. …I’ve made people too angry. Even as they violently demand I be silenced. Candace Owens. Bobby. A lot of people who claim to stand for God. …Why!? Because they’re weak! And PETTY! …Bobby will be the undoing of the Trump legacy. …And there’s nothing Candace can do about it. He’s their Achilles Heel.

*Lacey pauses to get her breath*

3:22

The thing is…Lem was far too happy at Jack’s wedding.

The song ends.

Tick-Tock by Hans Zimmer plays.

I repeat: Lem was far too happy at Jack’s wedding. And Jack…was in a very one-sided sexual pseudo relationship with Lem. …And Lem looks heterosexual. …And was. …Again, I’m sorry that’s so confusing…but a lot of what he said was…complicated. And should not be taken a face value necessarily. …Matter-of-fact none of his story and the mythology, even within the Kennedy family, should be taken at face value. They lied about him from the beginning. So the stories about who came on to whom are bullshit from the start. Jack came on to Lem. And Lem was “down for it” but only because Lem was confused and believed he was gay. He never actually came on to any man. And Jack’s interest was his own. He initiated the sexual ideas between them and declared that they were going to be sexual. Jack did! Not Lem. Lem…was not the first one to discuss sex nor the first one to initiate sexual contact. Jack was. Jack wasn’t straight. …And Lem went along with it. Because he was confused. But he never really enjoyed it. Because Lem was a heterosexual. Yes, Lem Billings was the heterosexual. Not Jack. …And his whole life was…a sort of experiment to him. He lived in his head. Crafting responses that he believed were appropriate. Never fully engaged with life. Very…dissociative. …He was a constant actor. His whole life was…fake. …And it was written on his face. But people missed it or ignored it out of fear.

The song stops abruptly at 2:43.

Silence.

Yes. He lived his life as a gay man. …In constant grief. Grief over the life he was supposed to have lived. …And when he said things like, “Thanks to Jack I was never alone.” he meant to say that they had had a sexual relationship. He was trying to euphemistically explain the homosexual nature of their relationship. He wasn’t actually claiming to have never been alone. …And he often did that.

Look! …If Lem had such a dirty mind…why…was he so happy at Jack’s wedding? Why didn’t he care when Jack slept with hundreds of other people? …And why does he look so uncomfortable posing for those sexual pictures? Jack never looks uncomfortable!!! NOT AT ALL. It’s Lem who does. …GROW-UP! There’s no human alive who has a “dirty mind” that’s separate from their heart. Narcissists are disordered. They’re SICK. …And only a maladaptive narcissist could be “dirty” without getting really hurt by Jack Kennedy. Eventually at least. …Because he was heartless. Absolutely heartless. To both men and women. His comradery with men is fake. Historians simply have struggled to accept his homosexuality. …And at the end of the day…he hurt men just as often and just as much as he betrayed and hurt women.

When he took Lem on those dates…it hurt Lem too. How could it not have!?! …Just because Jackie was a woman doesn’t mean she wasn’t capable of hurting others! What in hell do the living Kennedys think women are!!? …It’s SICK! …No. He was OBVIOUSLY hurt by Jack. With Jackie. Just as much if not more so…than even Jackie. Jackie was pregnant for real. HOW do they STUPIDLY imagine that REAL baby got there?! Through a magical stork!? …Lem KNEW Jack was declaring love…very convincingly to Jackie…in private. Away from him. Because she believed they were in love. And she was perfectly sane enough to think such things through. Sophisticated enough to know. …It’s LUDICROUS to think that by virtue of being men Red and Lem and many other men weren’t equally devastated by Jack Kennedy’s evil heart. Jack Kennedy didn’t favor men. No!! He used that idea…of the trust of male friendship…to hurt women. He used that to seem mysterious. He used that to seem heterosexual and relaxed. …But it wasn’t real. Because behind his evil hearted grin…he had harm intended for each every one of his male “besties”.

When You’ve Got A Little Springtime In Your Heart by Al Bowlly & The Ray Noble Orchestra plays.

Yes. Jack Kennedy had evil in his heart for all of his male “friends” too. …Rip Horton said it! He was abusive. Rip calls him abusive. …ABUSIVE. …And he was!!! …And how much more so. …Because women at least knew the true nature of his heart. Quickly discarded. Quickly stabbed in the gut. …I’m not even sure Jack did secretly love women more than men. Because he was more honest with them, really. They knew he was pure evil in relationships. He didn’t draw out the murder in their case. He quickly slashed their souls. Leaving no room for real hope almost ever. With men…he was…far more evil. He pretended to be real. He pretended to care. He pretended to favor them. He pretended to grant them access to his real love. The hard sell. He pretended to need them. REALLY need them. When in reality…he was the exact same person who harmed non-male humans…who were women. With zeal. Bragging about it!!! …He didn’t love those men. Not at all. …He harmed them too!

…Lem wasn’t jealous. That’s make believe. He wasn’t even all that…good…at pretending. He pretended to be aroused by Jack. Yes. Pretended. …And he wasn’t truly possessive. Not like that. That’s misunderstood information. Intentionally misinterpreted from the start. By men who were actually in love with Jack. Who HATED Lem. Envied him. …Jack used Lem and Lem’s indifference and innate HETEROSEXUALITY to confound, control, humiliate…and HURT actual bisexual and gay men who he passive aggressively flirted with and strung along. Cruelly strung along. Lem was…perfect as a cruel weapon. Because he really didn’t care!!! And it hurt and confused and shamed many men who actually wanted Jack and were risking their reputations to try to be with him, or at least their egos. …Especially when he was US President. He was…CRUEL. Jack was. …He LOVED to torture homosexuals. Playing dumb about their feelings for him even as he egged them on. Mercilessly.

Stress relief!? REALLY!? …That sounds plausible. But it’s not, in reality. No actual homosexual man would be that…cold…and totally indifferent. …That’s WEIRD. And yet that’s what Lem called their supposed hot sex. What a JOKE!

Summer Overture by Clint Mansell & Kronos Quartet plays.

Lem DID NOT CARE! …HE WAS TOO GENUINELY HAPPY AT JACK’S WEDDING!!! …And…he may have fooled himself…but somewhere in his mind…he knew in disordered language he couldn’t consciously control or express to himself…that he was 100%…HETEROSEXUAL. …That was quite ordinary in that generation. Very common. And he was just another heterosexual. …That’s really the only explanation for why anyone would be so indifferent about Jack’s infidelity in any supposed relationship and especially for why Lem would be casual and optimistic and cheerful and giddy and…happy…and at peace…and HAPPY…without any deep sadness that cuts like a knife…At Jacks…wedding. …If Lem had been attracted to men…at all…he would have been devastated. You’d have seen it. Hidden somewhere in his eyes. At Jack’s wedding. And it’s nowhere. Lem just isn’t that sad. Lem just isn’t that kind of sad at all. It’s just not there.

And so…

A Sparrow Alighted Upon Our Shoulders by Jóhann Jóhannsson plays.

Turns out…Lem is USED. The Kennedys use is empathy and self-sacrifice and misguided gentle language that’s often far too opaque and nuanced to be easily understood…(really it is, trust me)…to hurt loads of people. Even to this day. …They’re a very sadistic family. …And just as Jack used poor Lemmers and his kindness to harm actual gay men…while he was “alive”…he’s now trying to use it to hurt Lacey. Or was. …And Bobby is simply following him. Blindly.

The song plays.

The song ends.

I care about Lacey. I’m not a small person. …She doesn’t need to be with Michael to still have my love.

Maybe I’ll write more later.

Later.

“But couldn’t Lem be gay!?” says a man.

“No. He’s obviously not gay!” she says.

“Okay. …Let’s just say he is. …Why couldn’t he still be with Jack? If Jack is fine now?” says Bobby.

“That’s an interesting question.

Well…because, and I’m speaking from experience, when certain emotional boundaries are crossed…even if the victim lives in denial…the relationship is dead. …There’s no going back. …And that’s a very harsh reality! I get it! …But unfortunately…that’s just life! …Jack violated Lem far too much far too often.

And Lem was attracted to women. Regardless!

So…” says Happy Rockefeller. *she shrugs* “You’re out of luck.

No! …Jack went too far. …He just went much too far. …So have you, Bobby. …Mary will not be yours in the afterlife. …That’s your delusion!” says Happy.

“Dudes not even gay anymore anyway!!” says a Christian Conservative to Bobby Kennedy Junior.

Bobby smirks. Rolls his eyes.

“No. Really Bobby! …He wouldn’t be!” says the Christian Conservative. “And honestly…I think he could be trying to tell us that! …And if there’s sex in Heaven…and I think the Bible is actually unclear for a reason…I’m not at all convinced…she’s not hearing the truth. …On a certain level. …Why wouldn’t she have been a provision for him? …Even if he was gay!? …I think it’s insanity. …I do. …And I think…it’s entirely possible…she was meant to be born earlier. …And that he would have been a far better man. Because of her! …Certainly not into drugs! Certainly not cruel.

Why…wouldn’t that be the case!? Tell me Bobby!” he says.

Bobby smirks.

“I don’t have to talk to him!” Bobby says to Donald Trump. “LOSER!”

“I wasn’t gay.” says Lem. “I really wasn’t! …And I never sent Jack real sexual messages. I never did! …They were always forced and fake. …Regardless of what I said. Or how real it seemed to him. I was entirely faking it. …Even if he wholeheartedly believed it. …And are you even sure…I ever did!? …Did I ever actually say anything genuinely sexual to him? …I posed sexually. For photos. …But did I actually do that when I wasn’t in front of a camera!? Being prompted and getting laughs and attention? Did I ever do that naturally!? …Did I ever send anything naturally sexual myself to Jack!? He flirts with me. Did I ever flirt with him!?? In any real way? …I might not have. And even if I did…it was fake. …Because I was actually genuinely straight.” says Lem. “Prove otherwise FOR REAL!”

Bobby protests.

“Bobby! …I couldn’t have been that emotionally stable and strong at Jack Kennedy’s wedding unless I was entirely straight!!!! …And it doesn’t matter ANYWAY!!!” yells Lem. “I’m with Lacey regardless.”

Bobby shakes his head no. With a smug smirk. “You aren’t LEM!” he says, as if he’s brave.

“YES I AM! And…you’re ignoring facts!” says Lem.

“Stop looking for loopholes Bobby! …There aren’t any that are real!” says Happy.

He pouts.

“HE WAS STRAIGHT! He was STRAIGHT!!” yells DJ AM. “There’s no explanation for the wedding.”

“Nobody can fake arousal like that!!” says Bobby, incredulously.

“Like what!??” says a woman from PA.

“Like, ‘I wanna lick your balls!‘…said in a sincerely sexy voice.” says Bobby.

“No. They can. …And there’s no way he was ever that sincere. …That would have prompted Jack to hurt him more. …Jack hated real intimacy. So I think he knew he could use Lem…like a battered husband. …But if Lem had been entirely sincere that would have made Jack cruel.” she says. “Jack was violent, Bobby. …I know you struggle to grasp that. But he was violent. He was sadistic.”

“So there’s no way he could have been that happy!?” says Bobby.

“None!!” says Tom Banks. “I’ve thoroughly researched it.”

“None!?” says Bobby.

“None, Bobby.” says God. “It’s proof he was secretly heterosexual.”

“Then he faked it!” says Bobby.

“I did.” says Lem. “Your family never knew parts of my personality.” He thinks. “I acted gay. Although…if you really watch me…you can tell I’m straight. But you do have to be really objective and observant.”

“Did Red know?” says Bobby.

“Yes and no!” says Lem. “He almost had it figured out.”

“Did you kill Jack!?” says Ethel.

Lem sighs. “Maybe.” says Lem. “Maybe.”

“I mean can you be more trite!? …The supposed best friend!? …Who secretly hates the murder victim!?” says a male reader. “I mean…come on!”

“You can’t be okay in a situation like Jack’s wedding as it would have been for Lem. …Regardless of what was said beforehand. Or even during. It’s not emotionally and psychologically possible in that specific situation! …It’s just not. …And the only explanation for Lem’s obvious mental state was and is heterosexuality. …You can see it in his body language and specifically in his face and eyes and mouth, in particular. …He’s just not sad in the right way or enough.

And he does look straight, really. Even if he’s acting gay.

And…there’s possibly far less evidence of his interest than is suggested.” says Happy.

“So he was definitely straight.” says the CIA.

She nods.

“Yeah. …Jack was the one who sexualized those letters. …And all of it. Including their interactions in person. Lem just went along with it.” says a dead man. “He could easily have been faking it. It’s a lie that he was attracted to Jack initially. That’s a myth. Jack was actually entirely the instigator. Lem was confused and he could have been. He had experimented. …But actually Jack made it gay. Lem wasn’t necessarily going to. He wasn’t actually gay. Just really confused.”

Later.

“His voice though!?” says a Christian woman.

“Yeah. …I had a naturally high-pitched nasal voice. …But I made it sound gay. …My natural voice is high-pitched. I’m a huge man! And I was asthmatic. And a smoker. …But…that doesn’t bother Lacey none.” he smiles. “You know…I just go trapped. …And I normalized it. Partially because I had some fun. Just as a friend. …You know…I just…went along with it. Because I thought I was gay. …And I couldn’t figure out how to be with a woman. …I didn’t feel right about it. And I told Jack that! But he pretended to not know. Because he didn’t want to deal with his own real homosexuality. …Because he assumed I was like him…slightly. So…according to his logic I could be with a woman. But he didn’t really want me to be. So…he played mental games.

No. I’m sorry. There’s an explanation for everything. That was me being straight. …You’ve just not heard it.” says Lem.

Later.

“I think Lem does look sad!” says a gay man.

“Not enough. …And he’s certainly too genuinely happy. …And it’s actually the wrong kind of sadness. …Some people can read that well. …And I’m sorry. You’re wrong. …He’s not.” says Rocky.

He thinks. “Is your wife a trans woman?” he asks, bluntly.

“WHAT IF SHE IS!?” he says.

Awkward silence.

“Go ahead.” says Dylan. “You’ve got the mic!”

More awkward silence.

“She’s a cis woman. …She really did just photograph badly. …Pat Nixon is also obviously not a man. …But people struggle to differentiate between those sort of nuanced differences nowadays. …I’m sorry if that’s insulting. …Happy was very pretty in person. Extremely pretty. …It’s too bad there’s not many photographs of her looking like herself.” says Nelson Rockefeller.

“That’s close to what she looked like.” says Rocky. “Isn’t she lovely!?”

“She had far more feminine, delicate features than what’s captured on camera. …It’s too bad. …People just can’t fathom things as well in some ways nowadays.” says Nelson.

“So yeah. I was straight. …And I faked being gay for innocent reasons. …And Lacey is what’s called my, ‘twin flame’.” says Lem.

Later.

“Nothing has changed since the last time I said something.” says Lem.