“nope” by Lacey

Nope.

I’m not this woman.

I think people think I’m this woman. I’m NOT.

I think people who have read my blog and seen me on Instagram over the years, including Casi have thought that I was like this woman. This woman and I are polar opposites. We might seem similar in some aesthetic way, but we’re actually incredibly different people.

I like and only like men. And…actually I find her perspective to be absolute nonsense. …She has no idea what she’s talking about. At all.

Her wife is not masculine.

That woman who she’s married to is not masculine. Absolutely not! …She’s actually quite feminine. And yet in her video she claims that her wife is, “…the most masculine person she’s ever met.” Or something like that.

Masculinity BELONGS TO MEN.

Femininity BELONGS TO WOMEN.

Those are facts.

It’s also common sense!

It’s despair inducing to watch how many ignorant or wrong-minded fools agree with her.

Her wife…is FEMININE.

And actually it seems like the main reason she clings to her absurd Destructionist ideology is to explain away her attraction to masculinity.

I think…she’s narcissistic. And bisexual. And she’s currently convinced herself that she’s not at all attracted to men. …I could be wrong and she could be a lesbian. But I suspect she’s bisexual. …She may be genuinely in love with her wife. …But I don’t think she’s…mentally…in an honest headspace. …Her protestations about not being attracted to men seem…forced. And if she’s not a narcissist…I wonder if she’s too in love with her wife to realize she was once attracted to men. Like really.

No. Regardless, men are the origins of masculinity. Even if the masculinity in men alive today has plummeted. …And I don’t think her wife is masculine. Not really. I’m sorry.

Look…I am attracted to masculine men. And I can totally see the difference between a masculine lesbian and a man who’s masculine. …I do understand what she’s trying to describe, I think. …But…frankly…unless they’re non-binary it’s not real. …Okay!? Sorry. Nope. …Gay men can hear that shriek in their ears too. …You can’t steal my femininity. It’s MINE. I’m a woman. Take your filthy thieving hands off of it. In Jesus’s name.

And she can take her hands off masculinity. As can anyone else who follows her. In Christ’s name.

Don’t come for my identity you narcissistic leeches from Hell.

…

My disposition and personality might seem like this woman, but it’s not. You’re reading her personality into my words. But that’s not how I’m speaking. I am not this person. 

I am not masculine either. I’m wild.

I say things that I calculate before I say, but they’re not actually being sad, and the pretentious, overly certain way that this woman says them. You really can’t argue with almost anything I say, using fact, if I’m saying some thing in a definite way. That doesn’t make me masculine that doesn’t make me this woman. It makes what I’m saying almost hyper correct. If I seem like this person, it’s probably because I’m irritated almost constantly. Why am I irritated? *I laugh* I have no fucking life, you morons who hate me! DUH! And it’s not my fault believe it or not you bitches! Why am I sounding like Jack Kennedy right now to some of you? Well…not because I’m him. When I swear I’m angry. When he swore, sometimes he was probably angry, but it seems like a lot of the time he was just trying to be crass and sexy in some bullshit artist way. When I swear it’s because I’m pretty fucking upset or certain about something. I have children, I have a house, and I worked hard for those things. I was also born into privilege. But I don’t have a life in a very real way at the same time. How the fuck does that not be irritating to me constantly!? …I don’t have a temper. I’m not an angry person. I’ve just had a pretty shitty life. and I’m tired of people’s narcissistic fly by the fucking seat of their pants, pulled out of their ass nonsense. And that’s all this woman has to offer. A bunch of pseudo intellectual, overconfident, narcissistic, look-at-me-aren’t-I-pretty bullshit. And you know maybe she’s not a narcissist but to me she seems like she is possibly a narcissist. And what irritates me are all of the gullible fools who take this woman so damn seriously.

Are you occasionally do you talk like a man but it’s because I am being theatrical not because that’s who I actually am at all. I am not remotely masculine, and I never have been and I never will be thank God. I don’t hate men I love them, but I’m not masculine. Send that shit to Hell in Christ’s name. I am so fucking sick of people attacking me, so viciously from the inside out! I am strong, and I come from an actually family that woman might be pretending to be someone like me, but she’s not me. And she is pretty, but she’s nowhere near as fucking beautiful as I once was and maybe still am. I

think a lot of lesbians have an ego problem, and frankly, I feel very attacked by them and betrayed by them as humans. I’m not attracted to women I am not to tequilas away from sleeping with a nonbinary man or woman and my womanhood and femininity are the same fucking thing you worthless pieces of shit if that’s all the fuck you are! 

You will destroy humanity and feminism by pretending to give a fuck about women when all you fucking care about is yourself and badly at that!

why do I get so masculine and tough when I’m fighting!? because people are dumb!!! and if I fought like a woman, it wouldn’t accomplish anything. People need you to fake being a man when you’re being tough as a woman or they don’t take you seriously because they don’t cognitively often know how to comprehend it. They don’t know how to process that information. And so as a smart person, I have realized over the years that when I’m angry, even if I’m not channeling a male ghost, I have to somehow take on the mantle of a masculine persona. Which means acting like a man you idiots who call yourself geniuses when really your ideology is absolute fucking bullshit! There are some things we can’t alter and if that bothers your narcissism, that’s not reality’s problem it’s yours.

No, I am not taking away the possibility for a transgendered person. And I actually think that that woman’s supposedly masculine wife is actually very feminine at her core. She basically says that. She says it’s like the best sort of masculinity, but at its core is soft and feminine? Well, duh! …That’s because she’s a woman. And women are almost always feminine, if not always, in some way. To be really brutally honest, I don’t think this woman is the best at logic. No she’s not like me and I don’t care how awful that sounds to some people I’m not being narcissist. I’m saying that because I am actually unusually intelligent and good at logic. And according to my superior brain (yeah, I am saying that and no that’s not me being masculine that’s me being really fucking tough and brutally honest in the way that people like her if she is a narcissist can’t handle) it seems far more likely that a woman like her wife acts masculine because she lacks any other way to express her emotions. There is no gender explanation, so to speak, that people understand for the kind of persona that her wife has aside from masculinity. Her wife acts masculine even though she’s not really at all masculine, because masculinity belongs to men that’s just reality, because she’s trying to express a part of her personality that seems masculine to her. It’s actually really annoying to me that all these woke people like this woman don’t realize that that masculinity really is just a male thing and that it’s been desperation on the part of homosexuals to try to sort of seem feminine or masculine to express themselves because they can’t find any other socially viable way of explaining themselves to other people. It’s not real femininity, though, nor is it real masculinity on the part of homosexuals. And it’s pathetic that they would do that to our gender as women.

No, I’m attracted to you, you bitch lesbians! I am not attracted to you! Now go fuck yourselves with a blow torch and die if you have to you! You little venomous snakes from Hell! I will chop off your heads someday or shoot you and then burn you to a crisp if I have to to get you to shut the fuck up with your bullshit and back the fuck off. …I will. …And I’m not saying that as a man. I’m saying that as a person. You little whores from Hell! You think you’re so tough because you’re acting masculine and you’re misogynistic dirtbags masquerading as women. But you don’t fool me and you don’t conquer me either you little pieces of fucking shit under my shoe if that’s all the fuck you are, and I sure as hell hope you’re not. I really do. For your own damn good. does that make you wanna rip my head off? Oh I welcome you to shoot me first have the decency of a man you little bitch nothing. Do you think men are so superior to women and that’s why straight women like me who are feminine are inferior to you and your smart ass that knows fucking everything in your dim imagination? Think again. I will better you with Christ for eternity and make you wish you’d never been born if necessary. And that’s not a masculine threat from a butch lesbian who wishes that she was born a man, but knows that she wasn’t, that’s a promise from me…personally…to you. Hey…you’re welcome.

Do I sound like I’m in the mafia!? My father was in some way. But it’s complicated because I’m still better than you socioeconomically too. Oh you poor thing!!! I guess some people really are better than you after all shit will you just go psychotically insane and shoot yourself because you’re a narcissistic ninny!? do you know if you’re violent and a rapist masquerading as a woke lesbian maybe you should just shoot yourself the worlds overpopulated and you’ll probably be better off dead if you’re just spreading around a bunch of lies, and you’re a violent narcissistic weirdo from Hell in how you act and choose to be. You could shoot my whole family you could shoot me and you could shoot Kanye West and you can shoot my kids and my legal husband and then shoot yourself. Actually you could shoot all of us and then chop off our heads if you did it the right way, and I would say thank you.

See you, so when I tell you to shoot yourself, it’s threatening and terrible at the same time is a joke. The problem is if people like you do too much dumb shit the world will go into chaos, and everything will completely fall apart. So all these stupid lies that people have told on the right, are no more dangerous than the ones that you tell on the left.

Masculinity belongs to men. And I’m really not attracted to women a heterosexual. I’m sorry you don’t choose to live in reality with that one, because it is something that you can’t conquer as a narcissist, who has a personality disorder that makes it impossible for you think in a normal way as a human.

And that’s the joke about all of this neo-Nazi bullshit. People like Bobby are incompetent. So maybe don’t shoot yourself maybe just shoot him and then shoot yourself? Except if I’m going to end the world, I need him alive. So don’t shoot him because I need him alive. Ha!

But that’s the funny thing. Supposedly they’re going to send all of these people with with mental health disorders and issues to some sort of funny farm? And rumor on the street is that they’re really just concentration camps. but he’s bisexual and closeted and a pathological liar and clinical narcissist who very possibly also has histrionic personality disorder. I don’t know how they think killing off people who are depressed or anxious, or even psychotic in some way or bipolar, likely due to their actual mental acuity at some point to these funny farms is going to better the human race eugenic-like. Because they lost their minds because of people like him. I mean they were perfectly fine until some narcissistic asshole went too far like him and drove them insane, literally. So those are the people who should be preserved. It’s the people who think everything’s fine, and are delusional like him who should probably all go to a funny farm and die. the world is falling apart and if that doesn’t bother you, there’s something wrong with you. It’s not a sign of strength. It might be that you’ve been privileged and sheltered and you’re strong, but unless if you have moments of sadness and reflection, and some anxiety and depression, at this point in human history, there’s something wrong with you. You’re either living under a rock or there’s something medically wrong with you.

So to reiterate, lesbian women who are butch, unless if they’re nonbinary are just trying to find some way, to in a socially acceptable way, explain themselves. Because there has been no societally acceptable way for a homosexual to explain themselves in their mannerisms in their style of dress and in the way they talk their mannerisms? Ahh…there’s been nothing that’s ever been offered to them. The best that they’ve been able to do is mimic men or women. But they’re not actually masculine there’s something altogether different. And if it’s allowed in Heaven I think it would be very feminist in a Christian way for lesbians to realize that, but that’s too daring for them. It’s too frightening, it’s too old money upper class to be blunt. And maybe it’s not allowed in Heaven. But if it is, let’s be honest, it’s not really appropriate for them to think that they are like men. It’s regressive. If it’s allowed in Heaven, it’s actually very regressive. They are women but there’s something different, but they’re not men they’re not masculine. And of course, same goes for men. they’re not actually a different gender. They are doing something unique and original to the homosexual community to be honest. And it’s not really about gender. But to middle-class minds,or the uneducated as harsh as that sounds, it seems like the same thing. But it’s not! I think it’s threatening to some people who can’t understand the concept of homosexuality being not a choice to think that there are women who seem like women who are not entirely attracted, or in some cases at all, attracted to men. Because then they think what are these people? Are they even human? And people who are homosexual even in some small way probably struggle to be themselves because they don’t know how to because there’s never been. Some thing offered to them and at least not really and they’re scared because if they start acting like themselves and inventing some new form of expression for homosexuals, that isn’t really gender based in a way that goes against gender norms, so to speak Then I think they’re afraid of being outed too much.

And so instead, they rely on masculinity and femininity. And instead they rely on little traits like soy milk, lattes, and Subarus. 

I have seen some some people starting- they’re starting to exhibit something that is more visible. A sort of way of being that is easily identifiable as lesbian or gay that isn’t really in defiance of their gender. At least not completely. and I would say that’s probably a lot healthier for society than claiming that masculinity doesn’t belong to men. But I am sure that they probably do feel more visible that way, and I’m sure right now that scares them.

I don’t know whether or not it’s allowed in heaven, but what I do know is that it’s not some thing that you should make your mind up about quickly. Really! Unless if you were experiencing it and you’ve got to quickly figure something out, I don’t think you have to take five seconds to make up your mind. But with the luxury of doing that, taking your time that is, you have to afford them and yourself safety. And I think that’s why our society went so quickly?? Because homosexuals demanded freedom and people have been scared that that freedom isn’t safe.

But then that’s the thing. Now we don’t have to worry or we didn’t have to worry as much about how safe it was to be homosexual or is… and instead, we can take our time in an ideal setting to try to see what we really think of it. What if it’s not allowed in Heaven? What if I have to come to that conclusion? Then I obviously have to figure out why and what the concerns would be. I highly doubt it would be harming homosexual at all. And I think more likely it would probably be some agreement to just peacefully coexist in mind our own space so to speak. I don’t know if that’s possible but I would I would hope that it would be. If it is allowed, then I don’t have a problem with gay marriage or lesbian marriage. I have a problem with the making it something that I am not allowed to coexist with. I am a heterosexual, cis, gendered, female, who is feminine, and there’s nobody alive, who gets to be feminine other than women, and that’s the end of the story. And there never will be. And there is nobody whoever gets to be masculine either and claim that for themselves as their identity other than men. I’m a very peaceful person, but when I fight, I don’t lose unless if God tells me that I have to. End of God indicates that then I back off happily, but until that day and eternity, I will keep fighting you and I will not lose. Because I will not be conquered. Whether that makes me Scottish, or not depends on whether or not, there’s reincarnation in the Bible.

Regardless, I actually don’t wish anyone any harm. I just will not be conquered ever. Unless if it’s by my husband in Christ. God hasn’t conquered me unless if you count my husband. I don’t think God conquers us. I think we have to submit to him and humble ourselves, but I could be wrong. But I wonder if in a way women are conquered and if that’s something that Islam grapples with. Because women are conquered by their husbands that God is our father so it’s not really a relationship like that. But then who conquers men? Well possibly no one? So what does that do to women? Because I want to be conquered by my husband. It’s not a negative thing for me.

And actually, if there’s any argument against homosexuality that concerns me, it would be that. Do gay men conquer each other or not and if they do or not is that actually helpful for a society and for our souls or is it detrimental? See those are questions that no one talks about anymore because people frankly maybe aren’t intellectual enough to think of them. End it you know I think that’s where you have to know yourself you’re responsible for yourself and then you can’t force other people inappropriately to agree with you. I think you can point out facets of reality, and the best argument wins. Or society collapses if it seems like a false victor has one.

Do you know at the very least if there isn’t homosexuality allowed it allowed in Heaven I would hope to be helpful to people to get them to think about it even if they can’t do anything about it. And if it is allowed them, standing up for themselves, gives me a chance to quickly apologize to God for anything that I’m doing that is evil. I probably already have because that’s the kind of walk that I have with Christ, but it still gives me a chance to to apologize to Christ. And honestly, my heart intent is innocent almost entirely, if not entirely, but just in case I actually have apologized to God. 

“You know I actually was straight.” says Lem. “I know you can’t believe that easily because I did such a good job confusing everyone, but I actually really was for real.” He thinks. “I really was way too happy at that wedding. And there’s really no way to explain it otherwise. …And all the other evidence suggesting I was attracted to men is simply misinterpreted, or lied about.”

“Is she channeling you?” asks a lesbian.

“Not completely.

Today she watched a YouTube video about the Cecil Hotel. And Elisa Lam told her that Lacey’s connection to it comes from her father, Tom Banks. It’s the one with all those guys and Patty Negri. There was a speakeasy at the Cecil. Or something like it. With prostitutes. Who lived and worked in the hotel. They distributed the liquor. …And her father knew about and was connected to them. …So was Joe Kennedy Senior.

Joe’s name and Robert’s name were given by Elisa. In the end. When they try to talk to her. On the roof. Because we’re dead and we knew she’d watch the episode. …David Schiebel also appears. He’s very vocal. And it always sounds like him. He’s Mark’s grandfather. Her legal husband.

Today Lacey had ramen. And Elisa planned that so Lacey would realize it really was her!

Patty…is like Lacey. Lacey can channel ghosts too. In a very similar way. …They overtake her body. Just like they did with Patty in the Cecil. And…Patty plans that. She…wants that to happen. …LACEY DOES NOT. …Lacey can’t control it. Because most of her life she’s not even been aware she’s doing it. She feels an energy coming on her…like…a mist. Like being sprayed with perfume. Very similar. It’s not her. And she’s almost always recognized that consciously. But it’s only been recently that she’s realized she’s channeling something.

Actually…at times, like she said, she’s channeled men to protect herself. And chalked it up to her being theatrical. And at times she is. …But she’s also been channeling people.

She has channeled me. But I’m always there. She does so without knowing it most of the time. And it almost seems like her. But it’s masculine and it’s me. …I’ve been silenced, however.

Right now…she’s actually more like…a typewriter. We are able to share our thoughts with you and she’s just like our stenographer. She’s essentially a stenographer.

And it’s become that because she’s been SO abused. God has had to allow us to actually talk with her. For her own sanity and survival.

Patty chooses to do almost the same thing Lacey’s brain does involuntarily. But Lacey is guided by the Holy Ghost. And protected by God. We pray for Patty. And her choice to be a witch is between her and God.

…Patty…helped Lacey see what she looks like though. Today. Because Lacey’s never seen herself, obviously. And she had no idea how scary it looks. People can actually sense us. When they do that. And at times they channel demons. Although Lacey doesn’t. But…you have to understand…Lacey doesn’t have a choice. It’s just how her brain works. So…if you’re a Christian reading this…don’t take her ability to be our stenographer as an occult activity necessarily. …If you feel it is…that’s between you and God. But for her…it’s a matter of survival. I’m being enabled by God to protect her.”

“Lem…have we offended you?” asks a psychic.

“Yes and no.” Lem says.

“We thought you were gay.” says a gay man.

“I know.” says Lem.

“So you weren’t at all!?” says Bill Rhea.

“Not at all!” says Lem.

“Are you masculine!?” asks a “masculine” lesbian.

“Yes. …I’m a very tenderhearted man. Extremely sensitive and deep. Gentle. Good natured. …But I’m entirely masculine. …That feminine persona was false.” says Lem.

“Lacey…what drug use…did you dream about?” asks a woman.

“When I was ten?” says Lacey.

“YES!” she says.

“Cigarettes. Something that made my head buzz. Heroin? Possibly a lot.” says Lacey. She thinks. “And I was so sexually loose! I violated myself! By being far too agreeable. Because I got scared and wanted to fit in.”

“And this felt like it was you!?” she says.

“Yes. I was so guilty. I felt so guilty!” says Lacey.

“Did you feel cheap?” she says.

“YES! I felt…so cheap.” says Lacey.

“For all of it.” she says.

“Yes.” says Lacey.

“But none of it happened.” she says.

“But it didn’t feel like that.” says Lacey. “It felt like I was there and did it. Somehow. In the 1970’s and late 60’s. Maybe early 80’s. …It felt…like a living Hell.”

“Was that Lem’s life!?” she says.

“Yes.” says Lem. “Roughly.”

Later.

Lacey watches Elvis for the first time in the past, as he was shown on television.

“Oh my!” she says, aghast.

Lem laughs.

Lacey laughs too.

“He’s popular!?” says Lacey.

“Apparently!” says Lem.

“Do people know what he’s doing!??!?” says Lacey.

Lem thinks. Looks serious. Puts down his newspaper.

He studies Elvis. Thinks.

“I have to think they do.” says Lem. “At least subconsciously.”

“How can anyone stand for this!??” says Lacey.

“It’s sexual.” says Lem.

“Oh! …They’re too ashamed.” says Lacey. She thinks. “Then what are they telling themselves!?”

He laughs. Thinks. Laughs some more. Thinks some more. “That they’re too slow to figure it out. So…they should let the big wigs decide for them. The cool cats. …The enlightened.” he says.

“I’m not that gullible.” she says. “Neither are you.”

“I don’t like it.” says Lem.

“I do. But it’s also silly. …And completely inappropriate for children to be allowed to see. …Even teenagers really.” she says.

“I agree.” says Lem.

She thinks. “It’s just weird though. SO WEIRD.” She thinks. “There’s something wrong with his brain. …What is it!??”

“Like…mental sickness!?” says Lem.

“Yes.” says Lacey.

“What is it!?!” says Lem.

“He’s psychotic. …He has some strange psychosis. Like he’s delusional about something. …Not all of the time. …But some of the time. …Something to do with…women.” says Lacey. “And it’s impairing his judgment.”

Lem thinks.

“How’s that a part of his dancing?” says Lem.

“He’s dissociated from it. …He knows he’s doing it. But he thinks it’s…unnoticeable. Or something!?” says Lacey. “He’s…slightly insane.”

Lem thinks. Leans back in his chair.

“Why…are they allowing this!?” she says.

“Sex sells.” says Lem.

“So they’re going to use him to make money!?” says Lacey.

Lem nods. “He’ll get people thinking more intentionally about sex.”

“WHAT A JOKE!” says Lacey.

“What is!?” says Lem.

“This country! …They’re turning America into a joke. A big ugly joke!” says Lacey.

Lem thinks. “How so!?” asks Lem.

“Because…it’s just about making money now. That’s all. …And certainly it was a country that was already far too materialistic. But this…this is…evil. This is going much too far.” says Lacey.

Lem thinks.

“We’ll go bankrupt!” she says.

Lem thinks.

“By 20…30. At the latest.” she says.

Lem looks at her.

“How do you figure it!?” he says.

“Because it’s a losing financial strategy. Internationally…long-term.” she says. “You can’t actually sell sex. That’s…not a real thing to sell.”

“They think they can sell anything!” says Lem.

“YOU CAN’T!” says Lacey. “They’re IDIOTS!”

He thinks. Watches the television some more.

“This is ABSURD!” she says.

They think.

“Why sex!??” she says. “WHY!?”

“Because they feel…it’s a good way to make money. Quickly.” says Lem. “A lot of it.”

Lacey thinks.

They silently watch the television more.

“This country will become completely divided.” says Lacey. She files her nails. “You can’t play with stuff like this. It’s psychologically destabilizing.”

“What do you envision!?” he says.

“Two Americas. Sharply divided.” she says.

“Like during the Civil War?” he says.

“NO! …Like we’re waiting for an alien invasion.” she says. “People will lose their minds!”

Lem laughs. Laughs again. “WHY!?”

“Because it’s far too personal! It’s much too…close. …It will have the same psychological effect as if they tried to sell us pooping. Or…cooking our own food. …It’s a weird attack. I feel…invaded.” says Lacey.

“You’re right. …It’s not safe. People will lose their minds. …It’s too personal.” says Lem.

“I don’t want to be analyzed that much.” says Lacey. “By all of society!”

Lem thinks.

“We’ll just go around over-examining each other. Because this is way too personal!” says Lacey. “They’re setting a public psychological precedent.”

“Well…too bad there’s not some way…for him to be exciting for the young women…without…being so…dangerous.” says Lem.

Lacey thinks.

“He needs to move his hips to the sides…but then also walk around on stage. Holding the guitar. In tandem. …That would look…cool. …And it might hint at sex slightly. …But…he’s suggesting that it’s very personal. Private.” she says. She thinks. “Why doesn’t he shake his whole body around?”

Lem stares at her.

“Just do it!!” she says to Elvis. “JUST DO IT!!”

She watches him.

“They won’t be able to sell that as easily!” she says. “And I think it would be a fun dance.”

“Let’s go to bed. The kids are asleep anyway.

I’ll carry them.” he says.

He does.

He comes and sits down by her.

“Come to bed!” he says.

She stares silently ahead.

“Nobody will realize how dangerous this is.” says Lacey. “I’m terrified!”

“You should tell your father.” says Lem.

Lacey thinks.

“Dad could do something. But…not enough.” she says.

“I’m not powerful enough. …But I’ll think about how to tell people. Especially Richard.” says Lem.

“We can’t sell sex. It’s a ludicrous way to control the world. What a WORTHLESS empire! …Selling people SEX!?” says Lacey. “‘Hi! I’m American. And I’m here to sell you your own shit.’”

He looks upset.

“It’ll destroy the whole world!!” she says.