“Heart To Heart” by Lem

“Lacey would you have given Bobby to Lem?” asks Cyrus.

“No!” says Lacey.

“That’s moot. If she’d been there, I would’ve been a very different person.” says Lem.

“You’re anxious.” says a psychologist to Lacey.

“There’s probably something very slightly wrong with my wiring because of my father being so old but I don’t know what it is.” says Lacey.

“That’s a very possible explanation.” says the CIA.

Thinking.

“So you’re actually this person!?” says Erin, drunk.

“Yes.” says Lacey.

“Lacey…Maggie had a crush on you.” says Jason, laughing.

Lacey thinks.

He looks serious.

She says nothing.

He stares at her.

“What!?” she says.

He looks startled.

“What!?” she says.

He stares at her.

“WHAT!?” she says.

He looks shocked.

“Sweetie…I think he’s trying to tell you something useful.” says his wife.

“How is it useful to me!? I’m a straight woman.” says Lacey. 

Shaveydavy laughs.

Jason laughs.

“She’s straight!” says Jason.

“Maggie?” says Lacey, confused.

“No, I mean yes.” he says.

“I don’t think he understands that you’re struggling.” says his wife to Lacey.

“ yeah I I am I have no idea what to say to what he’s saying.” says Lacey.

“ do you want her to act on it?” says Ken Schiebel.

“ yes, Ken they probably do.” says his wife, rolling her eyes.

“ I can’t I’m a straight woman.” says Lacey.

“ then how did you get her interested in you?” says Jason.

His wife cries.

“ by accident.” says Lacey.

Jason freaks out.

“ what did you do?” asks Larry.

“ I was trying to parent her to fix her drug problem.” says Lacey.

“ and then she accidentally fell in love with you?” says Larry.

Lacey laughs.

“ well, I don’t know if it was accidental on her part but essentially, I think she fell in love with me, but I was not intending that, or I thought that if it happened, I think that it was like sort of stupid and inconsequential, and that would just not matter somehow, or some thing, and that it really was more important that I just parent her.” says Lacey.

“ but then what’s supposed to happen when she falls in love with you, Lacey?” says Maggie’s mother, laughing.

“ you know I was a little messed up in that way. I genuinely don’t understand that I really don’t cognitively so in my mind I just assume it’s just not a big deal.” says Lacey.

“ why?” says Larry

“ I don’t entirely know but I think it has to do with being too rejected by people and so in my mind it’s just like a well they’ll get over it in like five seconds if it’s even real at all.” says Lacey.

Larry laughs.

“ so you thought it would be extraordinary if someone felt love with you?” he says.

“ I thought people could, but that it would be sort of nothing. You know kind of like a cold that would last a few days and then I thought maybe if they fell in love with me a lot that that was probably only possible if if it was my husband or some thing. Yeah, I don’t think I thought it was likely at all that anyone would ever fall in love with me who I wasn’t with.” says Lacey.

“ that’s insane that’s completely ludicrous!” says Larry, very angry.

“ do you speak English!?” yells Lacey.

Cyrus smiles and waves at them.

“I can’t take that seriously!!” yells Larry.

“Then that’s your problem Larry.” says a woman.

Larry rolls his eyes. “Is she that hot?!” he says to his wife, about Lacey.

“Yeah. She was.” admits his wife.

“Did she even understand that our daughter was in love with her?” he says.

Her mother looks worried.

“ I don’t think she did!” says Larry.

“ but what is she even a lesbian at all?” says Maggie’s mother.

“ then what was she doing here?” he says.

“ oh, you know she used to stare at me at times like she was studying me.

Did you ever feel like you’re being analyzed by her?” says Maggie’s mother.

“ yeah.” he says.

“I don’t think she was…normal.” says Maggie’s mom.

“ what was her goal?” says Larry.

Maggie’s mom looks concerned.

Larry laughs.

“ how ambitious was she?” asks Maggie’s mom.

“ what was her idea?” says Larry

Maggie’s mom shrugs.

“ I don’t think she was in love with my daughter.” says Larry.

“ I think we were charity work to her. I sincerely think we were just charity work.” says Maggie’s mom.

“ yeah.” says Larry.

“ why did she care so much?” says Maggie’s mom.

“ I think she was really out there.” says Larry.

“ and what was wrong with her?” says Maggie’s mom. “ she couldn’t get a date. I remember Maggie saying that and that was really hard to believe.”

“ weren’t her parents abusive?” says Larry.

“ I think she was just trying to be a caring person.” says her mom.

“ yes but that’s scary.” says Larry.

“ I don’t think she thought anyone would notice.” says Maggie’s mom.

“ how could someone really be that tender hearted?” says Larry.

“ I think it’s rare, but I think it’s possible.” says her mom,

“ yeah and then Maggie fell in love.” says Larry.

“ I don’t think Maggie was really in love with her. I think Maggie fell in love with some part of her, and then she just imagined the rest, and I’m not even sure if that part of Lacey even existed.” says Maggie’s mom.

“ so Jason what was the point of telling Lacey all that because that’s sad Lacey really was that loving she really is straight and was straight and it’s pretty ordinary there’s nothing really that spectacular about it so what was the point of all of that?” says God.

“ because I found her attractive and I was trying not to because I had a girlfriend and pretty much everyone found her attractive, but they were trying not to.” says Jason.

“ did anyone ever find her attractive without try not to?” says Larry in his subconscious.

“ Larry, did you find her attractive?” asks God.

“Yes.” he says.

“ why does everyone try not to?” says Jason.

“ I know many reasons, but everyone pretty much does except for the wrong people.” says God.

“ she’s had a lesbian or to fall for her and she was molested. She’s never had anyone really love her the way that a human usually is loved.” says Jesus.

“ so that’s depressing!” says Cyrus.