“The Greek Chorus” by Lem

“So those Kennedys?” says a man to Lacey.

“Yeah!” says Lacey.

“You know…we think of them as kind of a big deal.” says a man.

“I used to too. Now I don’t.” says Lacey.

Later.

“So fuck you too!” says a random woman to Lacey.

“What!?” says Lacey.

“From the other day! …Fuck you too!” she says.

“Oh.” says Lacey.

“Why do you hate us?” says another woman.

“Who are you?” says Lacey.

Weird silence.

“I’m just a random woman.” she says.

Silence.

“Why do you hate us?” she says.

“I don’t hate you.” says Lacey.

Later.

“So they’re just people to you?!” says a man to Lacey.

“YES.” says Lacey.

“Okay cool!” says a random woman to Lacey.

“Why do we HATE her!?” says a woman to another woman about Lacey.

“Because the Illuminati told you to.” says God. “Should it exist. They cursed her. …But she already was under attack.”

“Was Lem straight.” says a gay man.

“Yes.” says Lem.

“So…he wasn’t gay at all?” he says.

“No. Not at all.” says Lem.

“Are you weirded out by our interest?” he says.

“Yes.” says Lem. “Why do you find me so fascinating!?”

“Because you…loved him.” says a man.

“Him!?!” says Lem.

“Yeah. I guess we find that important.” says Cyrus.

“I actually was straight though. So…” says Lem.

Awkward silence.

“So my book is a novel?” says David Pitts, rolling his eyes.

“You don’t really know me. …Why do you assume you do? It’s…actually kind of offensive.” says Lem.

“I’m presuming.” says David.

Lem takes a sharp breath. “Look, I’m sorry I gave you the wrong impression. That’s very much my fault. I was very confused. I was a very confused person, but I wasn’t the person that you make me out to be and there’s nothing I can do about it because I’m dead.”

“How off is my book?” says David.

“ well, you have my pictures in there.

There are some things that you reference that did happen, but there are no recordings of me and I’m not really being understood by people. I mean there are some footage of me. There is one recording that’s public but there’s not a ton of information. And that’s my fault. But so unfortunately you don’t really know much. Ahh…but it’s not accurate. Unfortunately I would say it’s probably about 80% off.” says Lem.

“ 80%!?” says David.

“Yes 80%. I was straight!!” says Lem.

“ hey so you were actually straight?” says David.

“ yes I was. But I didn’t know that.

So I tried to be a homosexual and it was awful for me, but I am it’s very complicated but I mean that’s what happened.” says Lem.

“ are you your serious?” says David Pitts.

“ yes, I am.” says Lem.

“ how how did you get by?” he says.

“ do you mean how did I not want to kill somebody because I was so sexually repressed?” says Lem

“ yes!” says a woman.

“ aw I actually dead I hope to kill Jack I hated him, and I lied about it. Part of the reason why I bragged about oral sex with him after he died, was because I helped him die. I hope the CIA assassinate him I have salute Lee hated him when he was assassinated, and I went into shock that was an act. They coached me on how to seem believable, and I overplayed it, which is why everyone thought I was so depressed because I was told to play it up and so I did but that that was completely made up IIII over emphasize my grief and I talked about it with a lot of people because I was trying to convince people that I was really upset and I overdid it.” says Lem.

“ so they coached you on how to sound like you were upset??!” says a reader.

“ yes they did and I was disturbed and I was incredibly depressed because it ruined my life. I mean I had the secret that I knew which is also part of the reason why I use drugs because I don’t I knew, and it was incredibly traumatizing to know the secret that no one else knew to not be able to do anything about it, and in a sense to sort of live with this remorse that I had caused all of this grief, to all of these people, who would never know what really happened possibly ever and it was incredibly hard on me because I felt so so guilty and so I did get very depressed but I barely missed him at all. I hated him I lied about a lot of stuff after he died, I played up a lot pretending like I cared about him putting up his picture a lot of that was just a bunch of bullshit, I was supposed to fool his family I was supposed to fool a lot of people, and I could barely stand to do it but I did it you know sometimes it say to me how are you going to live with all of that love on your conscience, and I just told myself that I would just have to do it and it was unbearable, but he was a monster he was abusive to Jackie. He used to beat her. He was a pedophile and he molested his children. It wasn’t anything serious, but he was a child molester his gay friends turned him into that who weren’t me if he came kind of thing with certain fringe elements in the homosexual community in the early 1960s and Jack was really into drug use and he was a sex addict and so he started experimenting with child abuse and he went to far he molested a child in the White House and it was deplorable to people back then and it still is but they found out that he did that and then they also found out that he’d molested teenagers as well, and so combined with the abuse of me, and Jackie and his kids and his drug use and the nuclear wars that he almost got us into. It was more than just the Bay of Pigs. he followed up about two or three times but it’s just not talked about once no one even knows about. he was a huge liability which of the US a lot of people hated them and so Fidel Castro ordered for him to be assassinated and a lot of people were more than happy to do it and I was one of them. I absolutely hated them. I felt that he had ruined my life, but I did actually think I was probably gay. I wasn’t convinced of that but I thought I was probably gay but I I didn’t think that there was much I could do about it and then when I was older, I actually did figure out that I was straight, but I mean my life was pretty much over.” says Lem. “ I was suicidal most of my life before I was molested. I wasn’t. I was a very happy kid, but I became suicidal after I was molested, and I actually didn’t experiment that much out with all the sexuality I mean I did some thing and it was really weird but know that some of that is just fabricated, I wasn’t that sexually experienced.”

“Some of the things you say, are very sexual though Lem.” says David.

“oh yeah, that was an act. I was trying to be impressive. Talk to Jack because he was extremely sexual. He was a sex addict and he was one of the wealthiest kids in the school and I actually wasn’t impressed by him. We were never we were never that close. We were close. We were close were never as close as everyone says we were, I had fun being with him and I guess you were I thought we were friends but you know it’s one of those things where it’s like it is sorta is what it was. It wasn’t really quite as big of a deal as has everyone’s made it out to be, but but we were friends and he actually had a lot of other friends when I used to say that I was his best friend. I meant it in a way that is more of a euphemism about homosexuality. I didn’t necessarily mean that we were really that close we were, but we were never as close as he was to some people, he was really attracted to me and kiss you. He was bisexual and a lot of the letters were really just him being obsessed with me and it’s it’s all fabricated that I was obsessed with him. There’s really no proof of that and a lot of that is just nonsense. Actually, all is well. Yeah, no all of that is just nonsense for the most part, he was the one inviting me everywhere he was the one demanding that I show up he was very pushy and I just didn’t think it was that big of a deal and I wanted his approval because he was kind of impressive but I really wanted his approval more as a friend that has a love her, but that the homosexual thing was some thing that I went along with because I thought I was gay and I thought that he and I thought that he might not be my friend if I did go along with it so to some degree part of that was me just trying to appease him and so no part of that was just me trying to appease him, so yeah I’m sorry a lot of what I wrote and response to him is bullshit and it’s really sad that no one knows how to read my tone I mean do you want to go back-and-forth I’ll come onto you too.” says Lem.

“ lame I’m in love with you?” says David.

“ oh, wow since when?” says Lem.

“ I mean my whole life!” says David.

“ I had no idea you had those feelings for me. I wish you told me.” says Lem.

“ Mya my bed is cold tonight love!” says David.

“ well, it won’t be when I get there. are your feet cold?” says Lem.

“ oh, OK so it’s not that hard for you. Just make this shit up?” says David.

“ no people write stuff it’s not that hard to just make shit up!” says Lem.

“ are you better at making shit up the most people Lem?” says David.

“ yeah, I am a part of the reason why Bobby is in love with Cheryls, because of all the time he spent with me.” says Lem.

“ so you literally just put Jack on?” says David.

“ yes but I didn’t think of it that way because I thought I was homosexual so I thought that I was kind of you know going along with whatever but I wasn’t I wasn’t ever sincere so it was just a bunch of bullshit. Oh I thought it was so much sincere at the time, him and I was never let’s just say I was never’s passionate and convincing as some people might be because it wasn’t real for me so it was either corny or it was kind of blasé in someway maybe because I couldn’t really get into it, but I tried to sort a say a little here and there.” says Lem.

“ so he was the one leading everything?” says David.

“ yes he was the one leading everything so he was the one sexualizing things he was the one leading absolutely everything everything the photos everything everything was him. I never came onto him. He just did all of it and then pretended like it was me and I got really sick of him but it’s about the mid-1940s. I was ready to kill him. I tried getting rid of him during World War II and he just wouldn’t go away. The trip to Germany was absolute shit and I lied about it because I didn’t wanna be people to get mad at me. His family was very scary to be around at times and so I sort of tried to sort of shake it off and it didn’t work and then I did that during World War II and it did sort of work somewhat but then he just pestered everyone of my family. He talk to my sister he talk to my brother he talk to my mom he was really obsessed And I mean he was scary and he tracked me down and he got a hold of me and I was totally freaked out by it but I wasn’t. I wasn’t sure what to do so I just started sort of placating him but then by about 1946 or 45 I was ready to just murder him to be honest I really was Because I was so sick of him he was hyper and he was pushy and he would act very cold, but then in private, he was desperate for attention and it’s times he wouldn’t shut up because he was high as a kite and so he was just Kathie chatterbox I mean it was it was honestly hard to be around him and then he ruined my life because it was like come help me with us come, do this come do that come edit this for me come clean my house constantly I mean the things he asked me to do clean his toilet, clean his floor and it was really pushy And people are like why does Linn put up with that you’ve not experience that having someone literally call you in a violent way and who won’t leave you alone who has a father with billions it’s really scary but that’s what he was like and so no I was ready to kill him by about 1946 I was ready to murder Jack.

But I just sort of let that go because that’s kind of extreme and then by about 1955 he been through a drug rehab program. He was addicted to meth and feta means he started taking them in the late 1930s when we took a trip to Germany. They were sold on the black market in Germany and he had a fascination with drug use and so he and so he started using them and we were there. They made these chocolates that were laced with meth, and he would eat those and get so high that he would like go insane and start scratching himself and that causes serious health problems for him. He was really hard on his body. He had health issues, but he was also really hard on himself.

His family doing didn’t know Bobby cared, but Bobby was also sort of shocked by it and it was hard for him so he would just kind of looked the other way because it scared him.

Joe knew and Joe was ready for Jack to just die.

Hey, he loves his brother, but I think he got sick of Jack being such a problem and he was just ready for him to die at some point.

So by 1955 Jack had been through a rehab program and by 1960 I was ready for him to die again he was such a slob the way he cheated on. Jackie actually really did bother me. I was straight I was depressed because he had some thing I didn’t have, which was a married happy life. And I was a little destructive to their marriage at times not because I was in love with Jack but because it irritated me that he had that because I thought we were both gay and so I thought how dare you do this to me here I am trying to be honorable, not marrying a woman not ruining her life and then you go off and get married to somebody and I know, and I understood he did it because he wanted to be president and his father made him, and that was his choice, and I wanted him to be happy as much as he could because I cared about him. I tried to But it also irritated me because I thought you know this isn’t this isn’t really a good thing to do to someone because of what you expect from me and other people because it wasn’t just me that’s nonsense. He had other male boyfriends I was probably one of his maid interests, but there were at least one or two other people who were just as involved with him as I was there was a young Jewish man that he got involved with And he was involved with Tennessee Williams for a while. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was very briefly involved with Gore Vidal. I think he was probably in involved with several people, but I was one of them and you know part of the reason they liked me is because of my background and I was handsome him and I worked hard and I think maybe some thing about me just made the whole thing seem less evil if I hadn’t been there, and all these bisexual and gay men and kept hanging around him , it actually would’ve looked weird or for some reason and they knew that so that’s part of the reason to why they kept me around all the time.

Because then it’s like why are all these gay people around Jack? Do you know what reason would that be? Where is it’s like if I am there oh, you know he’s been with friends he’s been friends with Jack, since chose his his fathers dead you know poor alone with his glasses in his asthma and their family lost all of their money and in the great depression, so I guess the Kennedys just feel sorry for him and he said he know he save Jack’s. Life is a nice nice young man. And they did play that up that they helped me that that Jack and I were such good friends. They really been kind towards me that I was kind of a charity case, but not really because I was kind of a special young man with my background, but I was sort of a charity case.

So I was a charity case and then they used that because of my gay mannerisms that were fake. They used my confusion which was interesting because it was confusion. I wasn’t actually gay at all and so I don’t know if it was the stroke of genius son, Joe Kennedy, Senior’s part, or if he was just really intuitive, but I think he knew that if I was there and I was so straight but I acted gay that back then it would make the whole thing seem kind of silly because people subconsciously would’ve thought limb straight, but he doesn’t know that poor poor poor man boy his messed up his messed up sad family, and now look at him. He’s just so so screwed up now these days, but you know the Kennedys have tried to help him And he’s a smart man such a sensitive smart man, but I was straight and so it seemed less weird.

And so it’s like 00 no guava Dell in Tennessee Williams, and will call him at what was what should we call him Mr. Mr. Moskowitz are here just because of let those are Lum‘s friends or Jack is interested in getting that because of Lem’s there they’re just fascinating to him They just all kind of hang out together you know like blacks or something. So those men are just here because lambs here, and Lamb brings a lot of element with him. So if I wasn’t there, I’d be like why is Jack hanging out with Moskowitz all the time? But with me there, Moskowitz doesn’t seem quite so suspicious.

I know they’re really was there was a very good looking Jewish young man who he met. I don’t know why no one talks about him, but he did exist. he wasn’t there a lot of the time when people could see him in the family, but Bobby met him once or twice. Judith Exner knew him. Marilyn knew him half Jackie and him rarely acknowledged each other, but his sisters, Jack’s sisters knew of him Pat Laufer it was pretty good friends with him. And yes, he was friends with Peter Lawford. I I think Jack probably met him through Peter Lawford actually. He was sort of like a gay Jewish party party guy. He was pretty young he was in his 20s in the 1950s so for us that was pretty young but he was very good looking and sometimes I wondered if you worked for Mossad. I wouldn’t be surprised if he had connections to Israel.

But no one really noticed that because he was friends with Peter Lawford and no one questioned that it’s weird people were worried about me not as much as you think but they were somewhat worried. But they were never worried about Moskowitz. And a lot of those people people that you think know like Sorenson and white don’t. They weren’t there all the time I was there a lot. He would show up around the time that Dr. Feelgood showed up. So he came in through sort of back doors so to speak and he come in quickly. He wasn’t a very big man he was probably about 5’ 8”.

So he could sneak in literally with groups of other people. And I mean the Secret Service let him in, but he was very he was he was not there all the time but he was there and Jack had known him since kind of the early 50s.

I knew I was ready to kill him by the early 1960s it wasn’t out of jealousy though it was because I was just so sick of him because he was so spoiled and he was so controlling and I was straight and I really I was not in love with Jackie but she you know I didn’t like her but she could be very nice at times and I just watched her go through a lot with him and I got wearing after a while just as a person And he had he had harmed his kids somewhat and I protected them but you know I couldn’t handle the fact that he was a monster, and so when George Bush Bush Senior approached me and explained what they were going to do, I was very helpful. I distracted Jackie and made her think that That things were happening that weren’t happening. They asked me to leave the White House and that was partially because they needed to help Jack be prepared to die. They needed to sort of psychologically sense sort of it’s like MK ultra OK so they kind of had to get his thinking, working in such a way where he would put himself in harms way so they could shoot him

So I had to leave because if I been there, it would’ve broken the transit they kind of had him in.

So I left, but I gave Jackie the impression that it was to save their marriage and I distracted her a lot while they were planning how to do it how to get away with it how to cover up the whole thing I distracted Jackie so she wouldn’t find out and at times I distracted Bobby by creating fights with Jackie and Anne, just different things that needed to be done um oh and then they shot them and I am I knew when he was dead before I officially knew when I said Jack’s too stubborn to talk to die that was irritation at her.

At times, I felt like she didn’t care about me as a person. Because there were times I would say to her I don’t want a Service Jack tonight. I don’t want I don’t wanna do that I want to go to bed or I wanna go see a movie by myself and you’d be surprised she say, but lame I you know I need you to be here or I need you to just come see us this weekend. I need you to do this for me and I was repulsed by that because she was supposed to be his wife and I don’t know if she was trying to play mental games with him. She might have been but I I don’t care because I cared but it also irritated me because I was very clear about it. I didn’t want to do it And she didn’t care because she needed to use me or she was trying to confuse me at times I thought is she just testing to see if I’m in love with her husband or what is she doing and then I realize if that’s not what it was. She really just was using using me or she was trying to play games with Jack’s head. To be honest she did have an affair with Bobby, her brother and that might’ve also been why there could’ve been times where she distracted Jack with me so she could runoff with Bobby people thought that happened after he died. No they had been flirting and having an on and off type of affair for about five years, maybe before he died.

Oh, maybe they weren’t you know together together but I know they were spending time alone together at times I know I think that’s part of what she might have been doing but whatever she was doing it hurts because I didn’t want to do it and she was his wife so it was frustrating to me and honestly sometimes he did beat me if I didn’t do it the right way if I took too long, if I you know was at all irritated by him, he would literally hit me on the head and not when I was inside or not when I was on you know but you know he would make sure he was not going to be pets, but then he would he did he did he hit my head with his fist and him that would hurt my feelings obviously and then I would stand up and he knows that you can’t do this to me. But then he wouldn’t he wouldn’t to keep doing. And he would apologize. Of course his abusive people do when he say look I’m sorry I’m just frustrated you know how I am when I get frustrated when I’m tense I need you to you know hurry up because this is really irritating to me, try to understand and yeah, I would try to understand but it got irritating. I thought well you know I’ll just get this over with. Because there’s no getting out of this relationship he’ll try to kill my whole family if I don’t do it .

I’m not exaggerating it really was that bad.

So, my last words to Jackie were mean. Before Jack died.” says Lem.