“Anger”

La leçon particulière by Francis Lai & Christian Gaubert plays.

“I’m mad.” says Lacey.

“Why?” says Lem.

“She’s ugly. She’s actually ugly. …But…she’s…fine.” says Lacey. “My soft chin line…is…not…ugly. …I don’t get it. …Why am I not…appreciated?”

“Yeah!” says Lem. “You’re fighting for your life. Every day.

But…he’s not…that great.”

“That’s not what I mean.” says Lacey.

He thinks.

“It makes me want to…really lash out.” says Lacey.

“She’s a stupid snot too.” says Lem.

“Yes. …It’s incredibly unfair.” says Lacey. “Yes! That’s just it! It’s unfair!!”

“It is.” says God. “It’s evil.”

“Yes.” says Lem.

“Is there any way it’s sane and rational? Or is it actual evil?” says Lacey.

“It’s actual evil.” says God.

“Is it forced…or is something in decay?” asks Lacey.

“It’s something in decay.” says God.

“What?” asks Lacey. “What’s in decay?”

“Freedom.” says God. “Human freedom. Men are mine controlled zombies nowadays. They were taught to be gay. Genuinely. Starting in the 1920’s. They were taught to be nice. Far too nice. And…they’re brainwashed. …No. It didn’t make them gay. They’re not actually gay. But they were taught to think like gay men. And it’s made them weak and dull by comparison to men of the last centuries.

Lem was neutered by society long before he was molested.

…In the 1700’s you’d have found love. Even as Tom’s daughter. It’s….that men expect weird things of you now. And they aren’t convinced by their sexual attraction to you. They’re convinced by…how much protection A WOMAN can provide THEM. They’re all looking for a husband in a woman. Someone to watch over them. A guy to ‘hang with’ and be best buddies. Your sexiness as a woman is meaningless to them as is the sexiness of most really sexy women today. They masked it well until recently. But young especially attractive young women today are…not loved. Often.” says God, enraged and sad.

“Are you for real? This is actually really happening and they’re not just all lesbians in love with me?” says a masculine lesbian woman

“Yes.

They’re not just all lesbians in love with you.” says God.

She covers her mouth and laughs.

“What THE FUCK!?” she says.

“It’s not feminism!!” says God.

She nods.

“What happened!!?” says Amy Poehler.

“Lacey is too ditsy, too feminine, too girly in a real way for most Millennial men to appreciate. They find her attractive, but they don’t know how to appreciate her.” says God. “After World War I there was a push to try to make things more civil in the world. And unfortunately masculinity went on the chopping block. Because people thought that it was dangerous to the world for men to be too masculine.

Yes, Vladimir Putin is an unusually masculine man. But if it wasn’t for him, the world would be far worse off right now.

They were wrong. The people running the world in the early 20th century were totally wrong but they were scared they were exhausted and they thought they were solving things. You could say it was feminism, but it wasn’t. Feminism has protected Lacey.

It was fear.

So they started trying to make women more masculine by chopping off their hair and trying to sexually liberate them in a way that really wasn’t feminist. It was more controlling.

The idea of feminism is to allow women to have a choice whereas this is more about making them have sex because you’re afraid that if they don’t men will fight over them, and cause wars in a nutshell.

Lacey is a highly unusually feminine woman it’s genetic and people have a very hard time excepting that about her but at the moment she is exceptionally feminine and so there are actually some lesbians who can appreciate her because they understand femininity from being women to some degree, but she’s not at all attracted to women. There are some non-binary people, or people who choose to identify that way, who are aware of her and can appreciate her, but she’s not attracted to them either. And no she’s really not. I’m not complaining about it. I’m just telling you what’s happening. So she’s only attracted to men, but there are very few men who understand her level of femininity any more who are alive.

So a lot of people wanna think she’s a lesbian or pansexual, because they’re trying to protect themselves from seeing how bad things are. And then she keeps saying no I’m not interested because she’s really not. She’s a straight woman. And things are really just that bad.

And it’s extremely serious because her level of psychological torture is at about 10 right now. And that’s gross considering how fertile and kind and beautiful she is. It’s almost a defilement of Mother Nature. Perfect. It is a defilement of mother nature, and a very, very serious way for humanity. And she feels that which is why she’s so grieved and angry right now. And there are some lesbians who pick up on that and can tell that it’s real and that we should take it seriously. Because they can tell that she’s not overreacting or being silly. She’s actually upset about something that’s legitimate. And men in the past used to be able to pick up on that too, but they have become so neutered and so defiled psychologically and brainwashed that they really genuinely struggle to comprehend what’s going on. There are some lesbians who are possibly freaking out right now as they should be. Because they know what men used to know.

I and there are some straight men who disgustingly want her to be a lesbian because they’re so brainwashed that they don’t want to take responsibility for what they’ve caused. And she’s not a lesbian at all so they’re going to have to take responsibility for what they’re doing but that’s very psychologically traumatizing to them. Because they have to first comprehend that they’ve been brainwashed and that so fringe even today that it’s hard for most men to except it.

Why is it fringe because it means totally understanding history of the last hundred years of vastly different perspective. Marilyn Monroe is masculine. Because she knows what she’s doing. That was an act. And she was a straight woman, but her persona was not feminine. Lacey is like that, but she’s chaste and Christian and a woman so men don’t pick up on it anymore. Because they’ve been brainwashed into looking for women who are sexually dominant and aggressive, even if it’s in a passive aggressive way. They don’t know how to appreciate a woman who’s actually submissive and attractive like her. Because she’s extraordinarily attractive but she’s also genuinely submissive. And so they feel ashamed of their own arousal because it’s so overwhelming to them because she’s submissive and feminine and sexy and then they get scared of themselves. And that’s part of what some people in the last decade have not been able to fathom with Lacey is that they’re actually uncomfortable with how attracted they are to her. And then they had to process and they never have that it’s because she’s so feminine and it’s legitimate. It’s not an act and so it’s not some thing she’s doing to them. Rather, they’re seeing some thing that they want. But they can’t process that anymore because they were taught to believe that they wanted some thing else other than what their natural heterosexual instincts would’ve led them to want. And so that would be where some of the ADHD and young men came from because they were being controlled and neutered. They were being brainwashed into thinking that being nice and subservient to each other was appropriate. But I don’t mean nice in a good way I mean repressed and scared of each other.

Part of what repulsed Harold Loeb in the 1920s in Paris with Brett Ashley Was her masculinity. He was in denial about it. Hemingway celebrated it, but he was in denial about it because he could tell that there was something genuinely morbid about it. Because he knew that there was some sort of decay in society that wasn’t what F Scott Fitzgerald would talk about. It was something new. It was almost like the decay of romantic love. And part of what people don’t understand about him is that he was unusually intelligent. And he was right. His way of handling. It was to try to cling to her and keep her as his because he thought that that would make her more feminine again. Because he thought that she could be feminized if he could just keep reminding her that he was the man he chose her in a sense, and so she had to submit to that and be happy with him. And he was wrong about her as an individual, but he was right, in that he was picking up on something. Because he felt a that there was something about her ability to use him that should not be allowed. What he was offering her was true love, and it seemed like they had it to some degree and they did. But Brett wanted money and she wanted freedom. And she didn’t wanna compromise one for the other. And he wanted a wife who was submissive to him and she didn’t want to do that. So she decided that in order to maintain what she felt was Liberty she had to give up on his money and their love because she wanted freedom to mentally and psychologically we’ll say do whatever she wanted whatever she wanted to do and not feel like she had to be accountable to him as a wife. So she did love him and they had that they had something special and he was very wealthy, but they didn’t see eye to eye when it came to her role in the relationship. People have not understood that and it seems like they do but they don’t necessarily really understand that.

Some women are like that. They really don’t want to be submissive. And men are taught today to find that sexually acceptable. Because it’s seen as a positive thing. But it’s not. And women who are like Lacey have gone extinct for the most part. Because it’s been bred out of society, So when a men meet someone like Lacey, they assume that there’s something impoverished or stupid, or lowly about her because they can’t comprehend that she’s just genuinely a submissive woman. And then they assume that if she is submissive, because they start to vaguely figure it out that she’s weak and stupid again. And she certainly is not!

If there is an Illuminati Covid was because of her, Putin is fighting in Ukraine, because of her, the dollar is in decline severely because of her being alone, without a husband, who loves her in the flesh in the fallen world. It’s that serious. It is just such a defilement of human society of nature, that it literally is affecting the supernatural in such a way in the fallen world that it’s causing mass chaos at this point. And Harold being her soulmate sensed that. He really wasn’t a fool. That is an antisemitic backward understanding of him. 

Lem actually was a heterosexual for real. And the fact that he thought he was a homosexual, and that love stories have been written about him because he was so confused and that she’s part of the end of order it’s not coincidental. He was straight. But he said a lot of very confusing things, and he did a lot of confusing things, although there are actually explanations for all of them, that he cannot easily provide other than talking through her. And people’s inability to accept that is extraordinarily serious. there’s not a lot I can do if if I use her to explain reality, but she refused to hear it, there’s not much I can do to help you. oh, I rarely allow people to talk to the dead. I rarely allow people to interact with them and when I do, it’s because the person is in some state, where they themselves are dead or almost dead. And they’re headed towards death or they’re already in the process of dying. And she’s a rose garden, and where people were logically supposed to stop and smell the roses and process that in a pleasant, happy way as a human They’ve chosen instead to try to annihilate the rose because they see it as very suspicious. It’s psychotic. But people are so confused in relation to her, specifically that it is actually has reached the level of psychosis for some people. She tries to reason with them and they just can’t fathom their own emotions or their own perception because their brain just can’t handle it anymore. And so she’s become very cloistered and things are falling apart.

Because some people had the wherewithal to realize that they should protect at least one of the rosebushes in the garden from total destruction, and that was wise. But as I’m writing this, she’s struggling to breathe because Bobby and other people who think like him are homosexual and in denial about it. Bobby can’t let go of them because he’s sexually fixated on him. But he’s in denial about that and so he doesn’t think it’s sexual on his part. He assumes that it’s Lem and not himself, and Jack had the same psychological problem. they’re ashamed of themselves for being gay and somewhat effeminate at times, and so instead of processing that, and being normal and healthy as much as they can be, they’ve chosen instead to deny with their experiencing and just throw the world into total chaos and peril. because they would rather live in the delusion that they’re heterosexual, and they don’t make mistakes, then deal with the reality that they both fell for a straight man who was confused, who had absolutely no interest in them in any genuine way at all.

Lem was completely fine with letting Bobby die will be totally fucked up in his head. and his brother Joe, and other men who support him and his buffoonery don’t want to accept that they’re destroying the world to save Bobby’s ego. Because Bobby sees homosexuality as disgusting and he lies about it. He’s incredibly embarrassed by himself. the fact that he got aroused by Lem’s and had a wet dream as a teenager in Lem’s’s house. If that’s what happened is not proof that Lem was ever attracted to him it’s proof that he himself was attracted to Lem. But he literally has intelligent, thinking people believing the opposite because he’s so violently persuasive. He has them believing theories that Lem was psychically, seducing him in his sleep, and not that he was just developing into a homosexual young man. He was having wet dreams about a handsome older man who he had a crush on who he still has a crush on as a teenager in his head, because he’s developmentally stunted the point of almost retardation. He is consumed with hatred for Lacey because he’s an angry 14-year-old brat who can’t handle that the man who he has a crush on has a wife.

Embarrass him, because then he hast to realize that that man isn’t attracted to him at all. And that it’s entirely in his imagination. He’s totally consumed by it. Because he has been counting on lamb to be his husband when he dies since he was 14. he’s secretly very romantic and his own mixed up way, and so in his mind he’s the only romantic man alive because he’s a narcissistic idiot, and he thinks that somehow his childish perception of things combined with his romantic passion, that he believes he only possesses alone as a person because he sees himself as extraordinary to a psychotic degree is somehow his divine right to Lem. He is a 14-year-old nincompoop who has a crush on someone and has never had his Limerence ended. So he still living in Limerence as a immature, spoiled 14-year-old. And he doesn’t understand that he imagined the entire thing. Even if Lem did something Lem was straight, and it wasn’t sincere. He lured Lem to come visit him all the time. But he didn’t use sex he pretended to need help as a son. Because he wanted Lem to fuck him, but he thought that if he pretended to need Lem as a son that Lem would come visit and spend time with him, and they would eventually have sex. There are plenty of innocent people who are accused of that to the point where you can’t assume that the child is ever guilty safely. But he was a 14-year-old he wasn’t really a child and he may have even know it that people would actually assume the worst of Lem and not him. Because he was fucking lots of chicks, right? And Lem was supposed to have been a gay man. But Lem was actually straight and Bobby was a sexually obsessed, very confused and disturbed bisexual.

Lacey‘s response to that is to just kind of have a hands off approach. Because she knows that it’s in everyone’s best interest to give Bobby the benefit of the doubt. But she’s able to cognitively at the same time realize that it’s entirely possible that Bobby really was luring Lem in by pretending to be falling apart and needing someone to talk to needing someone to keep him sober, needing someone to help him. Because she knows how conniving Kennedy men are and how bisexual they are and how sexually aggressive they are and she knows Lem and so she thinks it’s possible that Bobby and Lem are rare exception of a teenager actually luring in a vulnerable adult. She highly suspects that there were some pedophiles involved who liked the idea Lem being with Bobby, who were watching them. So as much as she tries to be objective and loving, and do the right thing, she also is wise enough to know that there could be something to what she thinks she’s hearing me say as God.

Regardless, Lem was straight and very confused.

And regardless, if Bobby needs to think that Lem was attracted to him, it’s a bit suspicious. He’s never really openly said that Lem was his twin flame, if you want to call it that. And yet he feels this astounding amount of ownership over everything in relation to that man. It’s perverse. There is no child. There is no lover there is nobody who would ever rightfully claimed to have that much ownership over any other person. It’s almost as if Bobby thinks he is Lem, without being Lem. And Jack was almost like that as well.

They don’t understand where Lem begins as a separate person, and they began as a separate person. And they can’t fathom that he’s not just their special imaginary friend who does everything that they want. They don’t understand that he’s a real person entirely cognitively. Because they choose not to. So they don’t understand that he could have thoughts that are not theirs and perceptions of situations that are not their own and feelings that are his, and not theirs at all. They genuinely cannot cognitively comprehend that. And that’s where Jack no longer exists. Someday hopefully I can bring him back, but for the time being, he was so mixed up on this issue that I had to make him cease to exist. And his family became so problematic that his father, his mother, and most of his siblings no longer exist as well. They were in such violation of me, and reality that in everyone’s best best interest, including their own, I had to make them cease to exist.

You might ask yourself is Lem really that amazing? No, he’s not. Because he’s amazing to me and the same way that you are if you’re a human reading this and there’s nothing different about him. But they couldn’t understand that. And they saw him as a sort of god. Not because he was so great, but partially because he was so tall and handsome and kind. And unfortunately, they came from an impoverished background, where they couldn’t psychologically process that in a sophisticated way. And I tried to explain that to them, but they were resistant to the point of ceasing to exist. Women and men both. They they just couldn’t handle hearing it because they were so rich.

The Kennedys were extraordinarily privileged people. And I’ve tried to say this before. And because of what America was trying to do right in regard to class and the poor, unfortunately it allowed for incredibly backward people who are just shrewd enough like Joe Kennedy Senior to do profoundly well. Because it didn’t have a class system in place that would keep people like him from taking over. And so he had an enormous amount of money, and he was very smart, but he liked common sense, and he was very ignorant at the same time. And so he caused chaos and despair because he brought poverty to the ruling class. Extreme poverty, mentally psychologically physically, because he couldn’t tell the difference between his backward thinking, and his intelligence. He lacked discernment. And so he brought a poverty mentality to the White House to US, foreign-policy and people are still reeling from it.

And they just couldn’t except that on top of all that they had gotten Lem so horribly wrong. That someone could really have been trying to kill them that someone could’ve really hated them and been so secretive about it in a way that Lacey would pick up on, but that someone from a poor background in Ireland would not have had the social skills to pick up on. And they were extraordinarily embarrassed by themselves!! Joe ceased to exist in large part out of embarrassment. He misunderstood Lacey in a similar way to how Jack misunderstood Lem. and if there is an illuminati, Bobby thinks Lacey is attracted to him in a similar way to how he Lem was attracted to him. Except Lacey is a straight woman and that’s the part where he gets confused. Because he mistakes her mild attraction for him as her being basically put into a coma by being so aroused by him. She tries to explain that she’s just mildly attracted, but she says it in such a pragmatic sweet way that he hears it like she’s just so overwhelmed that she can barely talk. And she’s tried desperately to explain that to him, but he has her so scared, and so overwhelmed that he just keeps getting confirmation bias of his own perception and thinking that she’s just overwhelmed by his sexual magnetism. OK it sounds comedic and far-fetched but if there is an Illuminati, it’s actually happened and happening. Lem had to stop and think about whether or not he was attracted to Bobby more than once because he thought he was gay and so if nothing happened there may have been times when he confused himself or other people because he couldn’t quite process what he was thinking in his own head. Even if nothing was ever said or done that was clearly sexual he may have paused too long in a conversation and giving people the wrong idea. People really are that excited and anxious about how attractive Lacey, and let him find Bobby and Jack, and all of the Kennedys. It means something to people. And Bobby senses that and so he’s trying to deliver.

It’s actually scary to him to think that Lem was trying to kill him, and that Lacey only is mildly attracted to him, and just cares about him because she was talking to his uncle’s ghost.

Bobby, find Lacey extraordinarily attractive and most of his wives have resembled her. But there’s not a mutual attraction in that way. And in reality if he was with someone who submitted to him to the degree that Lacey submits to her husband in his current state, it would drive him crazy. He wouldn’t be able to handle it. He would start to feel weirded out by everything. And he would feel so disturbed that it would psychologically start to cause mild psychosis for him. In regard to Lacey in Lem he doesn’t know what’s good for him. But he thinks he does.

I am part of what I am trying to calculate right now, as God is what to do with them because he’s reliant psychologically on his misunderstanding of Lem. He can’t understand reality other than through this false narrative of everything. If someone were to make him question things about them too much, he would become very suicidal. He is far more attached to his misunderstanding of them than he remotely begins to understand.

And so, even if he tries to be a Christian, even if he tries to move forward in his life, he can’t. Because thinking that he was straight, thinking that Lem was gay, thinking that Lacey is vulnerable and sexy, but very stupid is what enables him to feel superior to most people. Because if Lem was in love with him then he can have Lem on the side and love won’t have feelings of his own one will never leave him or Jack like he’s forced people to say possibly in the media because Lem doesn’t have feelings of his own. And what he’s never quite told Lacey, but Joe almost tried to was that those men find her extraordinarily attractive. She has power over them more than most women do. But they don’t they don’t understand that she’s not really necessarily in love with them. They get along with her exceptionally well. And there’s times that’s been heartbreaking to Bobby because he actually really just likes talking with her because it’s just sorta fun. It’s sexually frustrating to him but it’s fun. But that doesn’t mean that she’s stupid or in love with them. It’s a curse on their family. From their grandfather.

I actually created Joe and then had her in mind as one of his soulmates. Swedenborg was right about that for the most part. So I had several people in mind for him, but she was one of them. They were perfect for each other. She’s not as attracted to him, as he is to her. But he has a man would’ve been able to compensate for that, and keep her in a way that would’ve been incredibly satisfying to him. But he defiled that part of himself, and destroyed himself. Because he chose to go, after what was easiest, instead of making himself matter. And he did that, because he wanted to be wealthier and more prestigious than almost anyone to ever live. He gave up on pursuing women who would’ve kept him accountable and forced him to deal with his narcissism, because he wanted to be better than other people, more than anything. By choice. It wasn’t just narcissism. He literally chose to give up on a part of his soul to be better than other people. And it wasn’t that it meant that much to him. It was that he just couldn’t stand that I wanted him to be equal to other people at all. And Lacey is his opposite in that way. She has a very hard time, excepting that she’s better than other people in a way that is somewhat similar to how he was in the opposite direction. But it’s not something that she wants to be unaware of but there’s nobody keeping her accountable. Most people are determined to make her beneath them to some degree because of Joe. But she has no strong desire to better than anyone, so they’re not getting resistance from her and it’s causing massive chaos and unrest. She puts her foot down, and Ed stands up for righteousness and truth but there’s not an interest on her part and actually being better than people so it’s humble but it’s very complicated and he had the opposite problem. He couldn’t be humble at times so for him it became sin, but he lied about that. But she has the same psychological predisposition, even if it’s not sinful. And people who are narcissistic are attached to that because they are doing what he does, and projecting that on to her because she’s doing the extreme opposite. So they’re abusing her and she doesn’t tolerate that, but it’s a part of her psychology that she doesn’t understand, and she has no way to protect herself with. 

Lem was straight and unfortunately she is more beautiful and sexy and intelligent and loving and old money and feminine and cis and straight herself than most people alive.” says God.

“So is she jealous of me?” says a woman.

“No, no you’re really just that disturbing to her. Because you don’t make sense.” says God.