Inside History on Instagram thoroughly ticked me off this week. It’s MY birthday but they posted Rip Horton instead. …And of course gave virtue signaling people a way to feel welcoming to “the gays”. …Using my tragedy.
…Jack Kennedy was a violent, narcissistic buffoon. And I made the costly mistake of being his friend and then trying to be faithful to that friendship over the years. Of course, I was confused and thought I was gay. I mean friendship though. Because that’s what I thought we really had. Sure it was…my only lifelong pseudo-romantic relationship. However, I rallied around the friendship. And it cost me my entire life. And my reputation. And my life in the hereafter has been partially destroyed too, although not forever.
What’s bothering me most today though is Lacey’s feelings on the issue of history. Lacey is one to try to find truth…as objectively and clearly as possible. And so she’s incredibly uncomfortable having a drastically different perspective one from most people alive. Because she likes to double her thoughts. On everything. I think she has a very deep fear of going crazy. Or being incredibly wrong. …Accuracy to her…is essential. So…venturing out…into…the fringe…is uncomfortable. Because sure, she challenged countless people on the issue of Russia in Ukraine, deciding Russian dominance years ago. But this is difficult. She knew in her gut she was right about Ukraine. …This isn’t so certain.
They used Rip Horton’s photo. That’s certainly not me! The one of JFK behind me. That’s NOT ME! …And the fact that they used that photo twice…in an account with over 5 million followers…suggests they aren’t as devoted to accuracy as they claim. I’m sure they’ve made serious mistakes before. And that…is scary to Lacey. Because she’s not at all used to being so…challenging. Most of her ideas have some backing. Or something or someone attached to them. This is…entirely her own perspective. And it’s based on me. And God. And that’s…terrifying to her. She doesn’t, again, want to be like one of those fringe Christians who force their kids to die…because they insist on God healing them instead of going to the doctor. There are not many supporters for her understanding of what really happened. Event it’s true. Because I’m actually Lem Billings…and I’ve told her what happened myself.
Most of what you’ve read or could read on this blog is accurate. I was straight. …I was molested. And I had the horrific misfortune of meeting Jack Kennedy while freshly grieving my father’s death…and still recovering from the trauma of my fallibly losing our money in the Stock Market Crash of 1929. Yes, that deeply affected me. My whole life. All of those traumas. …I was clinically depressed before Jack died. People, like David Pitts, don’t acknowledge that or possibly even notice.
I felt no shame almost at all…being (fake) gay. Why? Because I was…very opinionated. Very…idealistic. Principled. Believe it or not. In my youth I was a rabid idealist. Loud about it too! …Where did the “muckers” come from? From the muckrakers. Not fucker mixed with other expletives. Not completely at least. …I had heard about them and admired them greatly. I was genuinely offended by Choate at the time.
…You don’t know me. Lacey does. Actually Lacey does better than Jack ever did. …Jack barely knew me at all. …Maybe he thought muckers came from fucker…but it didn’t. …But he never talked about stuff like that with me! He…was…shallow. …I’m sorry to say it. But he was. …He liked sex…and girls…and drugs…and…music…somewhat…and movies…and movie stars…and…some current events. He wasn’t a grand intellectual. People think he was, but he wasn’t! …Jack studied the game of conversation so he could sound smart to impress the right people so he wouldn’t risk upsetting his dad. …JP Kennedy controlled those kids…and me too. I’m not sure how no one has ever figured that out! Joe Kennedy Senior was EXTREMELY controlling…of every aspect of his kid’s lives…why wouldn’t he have been controlling of me!? I held SO SO many secrets!! …It’s almost idiotic to think I wasn’t being violently controlled. …But out sick empathy for Bobby Junior…people who need to do their jobs…don’t do it. But not just him! That whole family. They all have a need to keep people from figuring out that I was manipulated and controlled almost my whole life by them.
I was straight. And…everything follows from that. All of my weird thoughts and emotions and failures. Every single thing. I am and was heterosexual. …So…no. I wasn’t in love with Jack. …And no, I wasn’t genuinely obsessed with him. …I was…a lost boy. A lost lad. A tired, grieving mother…a sad, angry older brother…and a scared older sister. We had it rough. And the Kennedys took advantage of that and still do. Sure I posed for dumb photos…but I was trying to appeal to Jack in his narcissism.
I was straight. So no, I wasn’t automatically attracted to him. …He was attracted TO ME. …People don’t know that nor like that when they think about it though, including David Pitts. Jack…Kennedy…must be STRAIGHT…or else…in their minds.
Last night I gave Lacey a dream…where I killed the father who raised her. Because that’s what I wanted. For my birthday. I found a way to give her that dream. …She’s never had a dream like that before. …Someday when he dies…that dream might come true. We’ll see.
Listen…there are a few actually minor mistakes on this blog. But the gist of it is 100% correct. …I am a ghost. …I’m the ghost of Kirk LeMoyne Billings. And…as you see posts about me online…keep in mind…the current popular narrative is a lie. A carefully orchestrated bunch of hooey. Mostly because Jack wasn’t heterosexual and people can’t believe I pretended to be gay… How could a man pretend that!? Especially in the past!? …But I did. I copied gay men and acted effeminate. …How could Jack Kennedy, notorious womanizer, be attracted to men!? …He was bisexual.
“Lem…you really only gave him oral sex!?” says a reader.
“Mostly. …I preferred that. Because I could just dissociate and he didn’t touch me. …I didn’t think about it. I just…hated being touched by men. And…he mostly didn’t care. Mostly.” says Lem.
“So you were gay!” says a stubborn journalist.
“Not at all.” says Lem.
“FUCK!!” says Taylor Swift.
“I’m not letting to do this anymore!
If I can’t bring my family to Heaven…I’m going to dissuade you from bringing me up. Ever again. Or try to.” says Lem. “Because if you don’t…you’ll regret it. Look…I’m angry…but it’s also just gone too far. You’re doing this to yourselves.”
Keen to Cross the Pond 