We’re gonna try talking about what she thinks happened again but this time you’re going to have to respect the fact that what she saying could be true or we’re just going to cut you off and she may or may not right on this block ever again.
I am bored and exhausted. I’ve explained myself. I have said there’s no explanation for everything you’re acting like you respect that but you really don’t and it can’t keep going on this way. It’s it’s totally impossible. She doesn’t even understand how impossible the situation actually really is.
So she’s going to go ahead and try one last time to talk with you people should you exist or not I do but if your demons harassing her you don’t so she’s going to try one last time to talk with you and if it works then maybe we’ll keep talking if it doesn’t then we’re done We’re done and I don’t know when this will keep her. I don’t know when this will be a thing again, but I’m tired of it. Jack broke my heart into 1 million pieces if I was not straight and if I was straight I didn’t realize that I had totally messed up my life until right before I died. It was a year before I died what I really realized That I had totally destroyed myself, and I was inconsolable before I died because I had realized that I had totally messed up everything. I’ve said that before, and I shouldn’t have to keep repeating myself.
What your seeing as a weakness in her is really actually just her being artistic and deep it’s always been a misunderstanding that you’ve had with her since the very beginning, she takes great pleasure in analyzing beauty that may or may not even be beauty that she possesses and if you’re a sadistic, narcissistic freak, you wouldn’t appreciate that because you don’t want her to enjoy herself because you’re deranged And you’re an you’re in an unending power struggle with her that is totally futile because she will win for reasons that she doesn’t even understand herself
So we’re gonna have this conversation but you’re gonna have to understand that you’re talking to someone who is not who you want her to be. And I am done with that family with the Kennedys whether you like it or not and people don’t understand that and it’s sad. I keep waiting for people to finally understand that it’s over, but they can’t understand that and if I could give everyone of my family a stroke and kill them all right now I would be over the moon.
So on that note, Lacey, what do you think happened when I was obsessed with Bobby?
“ I don’t think you actually were.” says Lacey.
Lacey, what do you think happened when I supposedly wrote Jack dirty letters and had a dirty mind?
“ I think that you probably said something that made him think that and I think you might have you been written him dirty letters, but I don’t think they were sincere, and I wouldn’t be surprised if you never said almost anything at all and he was just exaggerating because he wanted to think that you had a dirty mind and we’re in love with him.” says Lacey.
Do you think that people who’ve written about me understand me?
“ no, I don’t I don’t think the Kennedys really ever understood you all that well I don’t think your own family entirely understood you, but I think they knew you better than the Kennedys did. I don’t think most people who’ve written about you understand you almost at all I think that, unfortunately or fortunately, I do and really, I would rather be dead right now and I wish my whole family was dead with me.” says Lacey.
yeah well and that’s up to God.
No people didn’t understand me you’re right and they don’t do you think that I have really been clear with anyone ever about my homosexuality?
“ that didn’t exist. Yes, I’m no I think it’s very unlikely that you were ever really all that open about that topic with anybody I have a feeling you were probably very tightlipped have a feeling you barely ever talked about it but I think you did talk about it I think he went to a counselor off anon for about 10 years and that you probably told them and I think you probably had what you thought were deep conversations with one or two other people but I don’t think you ever really talk to people almost ever I feel like if I was there that was all right I’m just getting the sons rather maybe that there were five people who talk to you did you talk to about five people five or six people your entire life about it and I don’t think that the conversations you had were all that fruitful. I have a feeling they were rather circular nature and pointless, and that it was actually quite frustrating to you, I even get the sense that you talk to your sister about it and it was an incredibly annoying conversation. Why is that?” says Lacey.
Because she didn’t understand that I wasn’t really interested in men. She didn’t really understand that I was straight. They were suspicious, and my mother always thought that I was probably straight an away, but they never really knew how to articulate what it was but it bothered them. They could never quite figure it out, but it was it bothered them and they they just assumed that, I was probably put a full of it in someway and miserable and lying and that it was quite tragic but they didn’t realize how incredibly tragic it actually really was. Because they wanted to believe that I was that I was him the person that they thought that I was. They wanted to think that I was as aware and sane and cognizant of reality as a normal person. They didn’t want to think that I had lost my mind at all because if I had, they would’ve had to wonder what it happened to me. Did someone abuse me with somebody cruel to me at some point and that was very hard for them, because of what we had gone through with my father, and with losing all of our money in the stock market crash we really were a very traumatized family and they weren’t prepared to deal with the reality of what had happened to me it was just too overwhelming to them. They could’ve dealt with it if I had told them but I didn’t feel comfortable doing that and they never knew that I’ve been molested They had no idea I never told anybody and other than maybe one counselor very briefly because I was overwhelmed by it and it was not something that I was comfortable talking about and I told her I told Jack I didn’t tell people I told Jack he thought it was funny And I think I probably told one boyfriend and he found it upsetting, and I think that actually was probably part of what happened between us. I was straight, but we really broke up because he turned into kind of a jerk, and if he had been attractive to me I would’ve realized that he wasn’t really trying to be a jerk. He was trying to sort of him Give me a hard time so to speak that sounds like euphemism, but that’s not what I’m saying. He was trying to sort of tease me and kind of the way that you do at times when you’re angry about something and you are testing to see if I really care at times he was doing that to me and because that wasn’t what I really felt for him I got annoyed and I dumped him because I wasn’t really attracted to him so he found out what he wanted to find out that I wasn’t really interested but I imagine that was hard for him in a way and in a way it was probably helpful because he suspected that after I told him that I had been molested, he suspected that I had almost no desire for men at all that was authentic, and he wanted to find out if there was something wrong with me basically Like I was actually attracted to him and so he tested me by acting very weird and I dropped him but other than him and Jack and one counselor I never told anybody. Nobody knew I might’ve said otherwise. Previously that I told my siblings but I did not. I never told them they never knew so. This could be a correction of that but that was over a year ago that I might’ve said that but if I did, I might not have, but no I, I never told people I never told people why did I tell that boyfriend I was confiding in him he was asking me questions about my childhood, and I was really more or less talking to him like a friend, and I was telling him about my childhood, and I, for some reason decided to tell him that it wasn’t because I thought there could be something actually it was because I was possibly in counseling at the time and I was thinking about things that I hadn’t told people and that was one of them and so I decided to open up about it and tell him, and he Was very very overwhelmed by it. It was very hard for him to hear that. I think he just instantly knew that there was something about it that was suspicious.
Yes, this was in New York in the 1970s possibly 1975 and I think he just knew that there was something very odd about me after hear that because I didn’t seem I did not seem to be attracted to him possibly at times and I think he probably could tell that I hadn’t processed that There was something very weird about the experience in my psychology, so he freaked out and found out that I really was straight I think in a way he was a man in New York City. I wouldn’t be surprised. If almost nobody knows who he is anymore who’s alive? He was probably almost entirely gay, he was so much fat he was in his 40s or 50s at the time he lives in an apartment building. He was someone who I had met through friends very casual friends and they knew that I was supposedly gay and they introduced us. I met those friends through the Kennedys and through my drug use And the rare occasions when I would do you know go buy art or go anywhere really in New York so I had some people that I kind of was acquaintances with, and I knew him through those people he was not that attractive but he was gay and he was nice enough and I think he was pretty interested in me, but I was straight and it was on the Third or fourth date that I opened up to him we’ve been seeing each other actually for a few months but we were not dating very regularly. It was every couple of weeks that we could see each other maybe and so I would see him every couple weeks and on the third or fourth date we were talking and I just, I just sort of started telling him about my childhood and no obviously we never had normal sexual sexual relations. He wasn’t really him. He wasn’t really all of that are dead set on having sex, though with me with that he was attracted to me, but he wasn’t really it wasn’t like the most important thing to him he was more Think he was probably a more emotional person in relationships at least at first and so I think he was looking for more of an emotional connection first and that was fine in my estimation except it was trays but that was fine for me and so we mostly just talked and drank, and Watched television we ate out once together and then I started confiding in him and it didn’t work out obviously but it never would have really anyway but you know.
But no, I didn’t. I never told people almost at all and I told one counselor that man and Jack and I don’t think I told anybody else I really was very very gun shy about sharing that story because it was so dramatic and when I finally realized I was straight it was because of that counselor I tried to say that before, but it was hard to get out but the counselor was the person who helped me realize that I was straight, I think he knew that I was straight based on what I told him I would irritates me Lacey, is that guy? I am not that unusual if there is an illuminati or if there are people who are bothering you I don’t think they respect, but they’re being told and there’s there’s really no evidence that would ever be able to cast doubts on what I’m saying there are people who could’ve been in relationships, who seemed very gay who could be like me And how that happened well because they would’ve gotten confused in a way that I wasn’t and if they had met somebody who wasn’t a narcissist, they may have become incredibly close to their spouse and it could’ve been a friendship and it could’ve seemed like a normal marriage, because sometimes normal marriages don’t have a lot of great tax because it just dies off then there’s a bond between you and you have to sort of force the intimacy but it’s there but you have to force it and it’s probably hard for you to imagine that because you’ve been with me for over three years and it feels like we’ve been together for five seconds but no there are actual relationships that are like that where it’s like you just don’t really have that spark anymore but you still love that person romantically you still love them you just don’t feel a desire for them all that strong and so I think it’s possible that someone could be streets and have been molested and be in a relationship with someone thinking that it’s a real gay relationship when it’s really not they’re just very confused I think it’s unusual, but I think it can happen and what irritates me is that when I went to counseling in the 1970s I went to a very intellectually, gifted high for looting serve stereo typically rich person, Manhattan counselor who easily could’ve been in a Woody Allen film. He was rich he probably played tennis on the weekends. He probably had a country house in Connecticut and a small flat somewhere in Manhattan. I’m not kidding. He probably drove a Mercedes or a Porsche because he was a pretty wealthy man and he was very intellectual. I wouldn’t be surprised. Actually, I’m probably telling you he might’ve gone to Cornell and gotten his graduate degrees from NYU or Columbia. He was very intelligent, he was an excellent psychologist, and he understood and reassured me that I was not a typical. He curious he reassured me that being molested and thinking you were gay essentially, was an experience that was I wouldn’t say common, but common.
I mean, he, he almost guaranteed me that he counseled at least two or three other people maybe mostly all men, but not necessarily, who had been molested as children obviously, and had become very confused and thought they were homosexual when they weren’t and this was a man who understood by sexuality, I wouldn’t be surprised if he understood the concept, at least of pansexuality I wouldn’t be surprised if he understood people who claim to be transgender he was very sophisticated very gifted, very well read very grounded and this was decades ago. He’s obviously dead now he was in his 40s when I was with him no not as a lover but as a patient he was in his 40s or 50s and that was in the 1970s and I mean that was a long time ago so he would have to be in his 80s or 90s at this point That was no he’s dead. I’m sure he’s dead heat or maybe even 100 at this point no he’s dead he’s long dead probably 20 or 30 years ago at the very least but he was at his time. He was very very well respected her alive and Hugh, he would’ve reassured me hundred percent reassured me, and he did that I was normal.
What irritates me Lacey is that in the 1970s this man existed and he had treated at least three people who thought they were gay when they were straight because they had been molested. I mean he would be dead by this point and so you can’t go ask him, but what irritates me is that that actually happened. I died thinking that that information would just be there. Sincerely, I died thinking that people like that would still exist and would still be able to verify what had happened to me. I don’t know what I expected to have happened but I think I thought that someone like him would say something Eventually you know I am the same way as you possibly so I might’ve expected for some intellectual somewhere to pipe up in this conversation at least and say oh I’ve heard of situations like this or oh, I’ve heard stories about people like that because it happened!
So maybe our generation was more like that then people live today, but it happened I know I wasn’t the only person who was like that he probably had maybe 100 patients his whole career which sounds like a lot of people and yet not that many people at all but he probably did council over 100 people he was exclusive. It was hard to get his time he was expensive and so it’s possible that it was, not that many people in the way, but 100 is still quite a few people if you think about it but out of all those hundred people in Manhattan there probably were maybe four or five of us who had been molested and thought they were homosexual so that’s not that many people but how many people did he counsel who had been molested maybe 30 so then that’s not the small number that it would seem to be so out of the 30 people he counseled who’s been molested I was one of five. They were gay that’s like 20% of his patients who had been molested will Seay became confused and thought they were gay that’s not a Normas number if you pour, but it’s not a small number when you magnify that, so I know that in our generation there were thousands of people who wears confused as I was men and women who who were straight, not bisexual, not pansexual straight.
You read an article once in charisma in the 1990s written by a black man who claimed to have been molested and thought that he was gay when he wasn’t and his story was one of conversion to heterosexuality after what he claimed was a gay life. The illuminati has read you remembering that article, and they don’t know how to process that information Lacey if they exist because they keep thinking that that’s me or that this article didn’t exist or that it’s the same person it’s not there was an actual article in charisma written in the late 1990s early 2000s by a black man who claimed to have a childhood molestation experience, who then who then believed that he was saved, and turned into a heterosexual.
He was actually bisexual him, and he had been molested and so he got confused and thought that he was gay. That part was true he had that right. He wasn’t making that up. He honestly thought he was homosexual, and it was very common for bisexuals to identify as homosexual because they also did the opposite but they they also did the opposite of that and they sometimes would, and still do claim to be gay simply, because they feel like if they’re a little bit Homosexual, then they’re entirely homosexual. Part of it is a shame thing. Part of it is a fear thing and so they feel afraid and ashamed of their heterosexual homosexuality and so they start pretending to themselves that it’s entirely homosexual because they don’t they don’t feel safe, pretending to be anything other than that because they think they’re going to be targeted by somebody, whether it’s a gay person who hates bisexual‘s, or a straight person who hates bisexuals.
So cute he just assumed that he was gay, but he was actually straight and some of the time and so when he became a Christian and he got confronted about his homosexuality, he he he did start going to counseling and they found out that he was attracted to women, and they encouraged him to date women and put his gay lifestyle behind him And that wasn’t easy for him, but it also wasn’t hard because he was attracted to women so he could just as easily beautiful woman if it was the right woman and he that was why he started thinking that had been healed or that it was nonsense essentially because he found the right woman they fell in love, and he stopped having homosexual desires, almost completely, because he was in love with a woman and so he just Stops finding that attractive very much in the same way that he stops finding other women attractive and so he should assume that he’s been healed of his homosexuality and I have a feeling they had a pretty good marriage and so he never really felt homosexual desires, much and he just assumed that he’d been healed. And there are many Norberry people who think that there’s conversion success stories when really, they were just bisexual or pansexual. And it’s depressing because there are plenty of gay people who would love to be bisexual and art and there are plenty of gay people who are not gay. They really genuinely just never met the right woman or a man and they may never meet that person, but they think that they’re gay because they’ve never met somebody who really fascinated them that much But that’s not me OK and this counselor in Manhattan knew that he knew that he knew that bisexuality existed. He was very very intelligent, and he understood that concept exceedingly well.
He would never have thought conversion therapy was likely to takeoff because this was the 70s and I don’t think he thought any decent psychologist would ever suspect that that was him a functional thing that would work he he would have believes that they were people who no longer wanted to fill same-sex attraction, but he wouldn’t have sought That or that it was some thing that was doable. He would’ve thought that it was basically impossible for someone to get rid of and it’s not impossible. It was very difficult and that would’ve been based on clinical research that he read somewhere done by somebody, possibly Kinsey possibly somebody else he was very well read and so he understood a lot. He was also very intelligent him and this is that’s who he was. He was not somebody who would have been trying to convert me to heterosexuality he was extremely expensive. I don’t know how many homosexual patients he had I wouldn’t be surprised if he had a few But probably not many but he probably had a few and I don’t know if they would still be alive or not I was I would not be surprised if they weren’t because this was so long ago that even if those people were in their 30s, they would be in their 80s by now I like that a lot of those who are probably dead there could be some people who he counseled who are still alive who would be in their 70s And that’s what I knew him. He probably retired in the mid-1980s late 80s I would bet he probably retired because he was in his 50s when I was seeing him so he was probably off late for mid 40s so I doubt that he had patients beyond the mid-80s you you could probably could probably try to find somebody, but it’s I thought it would be pretty difficult. It’s probably someone who still alive who would know this man I don’t know how easy it would be to find a person but we could try but no, he guaranteed me essentially that I was very normal that he canceled at least a few other people who had a similar reaction to being molested in their teens or early 20s to him that might still be molestation under the right circumstances yes early 20s it was an older adult I think he thought that could still count if the person was immature enough and so he had that belief that there were people who maybe were in college, with a same-sex professor, who had been molested, or some other type of apprenticeship of some sort. He was very intelligent and I I know he knew what he was talking about. Yeah and yeah, he canceled other people who are like me. I know he told me that he literally told me that.
He did try to politely confront me about my heterosexuality after I had been seeing him for about three years did the Kennedys know that I was getting counseling? No, they might not have they might’ve heard that and it went one in one year and out the other because they didn’t actually care about me all that much, but no, I was getting counseling and it was in my third year of counseling that that he told me essentially that I was straight, but I was very hard for me to hear that, and it took years of counseling with him for him to be able to say to me, you’re straight. He cornered me. He essentially cornered me. He said to me you’re not really getting around to the point.
I’ve been telling him this long story about meeting this woman and talking with her at a club, and I found her attractive and it was over drinks and I was talking with him and I kept going on and on and on and he said to me you’re not really getting to the point And Ike I couldn’t figure out what to say because I thought well no I have a point that this the story is about Jack because it was that we were Tae was talking to her about JFK. She was kind of a fan of his I guess you could say, and she knew that I had been you know, supposedly so-called friends with him and so she was asking me questions and I was talking to her and I was telling him the story And I kept going on and on and on, and I wouldn’t shut up and he finally said them what is the point of what you’re telling me oh I know and I kind of kept trying to explain that it was about this with Jack and that and he said within what about this woman, you describe what she looks like she sounded very attractive and I said well yeah but that’s that’s not what we’re talking about. You know this was about jack ass and I was trying to explain this to her and he said Lem’s what you’re not really getting to the point what is your point And I told him it’s two or three times what I tried to tell her and he said that there’s no point to what you’re saying and he said you know sometimes when were aroused by somebody it’s hard to know what to say to them. It’s hard to know what to say to them because we get affected by our nerves and we run out of things to say.
And I said OK well, that’s an awfully interesting point that you’re making.
And he said love him you were expressing desire for her in the way that you described her to me, and then he sort of recounted recounted what I said verbatim, and I realized that I had described her in a very sexual way, and he he pointed that out to me, and I got caught. He said you can’t tell me that that’s not you finding her attractive essentially, and I was in counseling, and I was trying to be honest, and so I admitted it that I had found her arousing essentially, and he said yeah and then, because of what I had shared with him, he basically confronted me and told me that I had never expressed that sort of desire for a man and any story that I never told him about any boyfriend I’ve ever had about Jack himself, but anybody that essentially I had never expressed any sort of desire of that sort And that based on other things that I shared with him that I was probably heterosexual and that a lot of my a lot of my ideal scenarios with Jack that I had come up with a lot of these ideas that I had of what would’ve been nice, so to speak and over not just we’re not real sexuality that I had just sort of made up a false sort of identity for myself based on molestation he told me that I’ve been molested. I’ve gotten confused when I was a teenager by that priest and that I was still confused and that I was one of his more confused patients that he does this he known a lot of other people, and a basically a lot of other patients who thought like me, and that I was not unusual, but that it was one of the more confused people that he never met People can get more confused but according to him I was quite confused I don’t I don’t think I don’t think he would have said that someone could not be I mean you can get more confused. I wasn’t that confused and I think he would’ve almost thought that was Presley psychosis, so yeah, I mean children experience that when they’re being molested sometimes but then sometimes rape victims Ken as well it’s almost like Stockholm syndrome, but I wasn’t that confused, but I did have I did have a sort of confusion that he thought was pretty profound and I think that’s part of the reason why people can’t handle what I’ve told them because it probably is more confusing. They can imagine themselves ever getting but I was that confused and it’s not as confused as you could be But I was quite confused he pointed out to me very quickly that my mannerisms, and the tone of my voice was thick essentially and this was a counseling session after that one, but he did tell me I know this story is not some thing she’s making up I’m telling her this she’s channeling me so if you’re listening to this, this is where you’ve got a start of humor in yourself She’s not humoring herself. I am possessing her body and her using her mouth to talk so if you and her brain if you don’t understand that and you’re in the illuminati I’m sorry for you that you’re that stupid but this is a thing people can sometimes do this and she’s doing it I’m a ghost, not a demon and she is not in control of herself entirely right now I can tell there’s some resistance from people who think that she’s humoring herself she’s not .
I was in counseling I was told by this counselor that I was not a typical and I would think if people are sincere and adult that they would realize that’s a good thing this is common. It was very common, apparently relatively speaking in my generation for people to get this confused.
So he told me that in 1976 OK him and him in 1976 close to 19 7577. He told me that guy had matter isms that were fake that that I was basically that my mannerisms were off he said that I was essentially forcing myself to talk in a higher voice that I had, and that I was effeminate in my movements in a way that was not genuine to me, and he noticed that that it is sort of went in and out one minute I seem straight as Lacey has pointed out herself and the next minute I sounded gay, and he had noticed that after three years of counseling me, and he felt the need to say something because it was irritating to him, because I had been talking, and a very sort of almost catatonic Almost drug like stupor for almost an hour, and then all the sudden I either shut up because I was an addict, and he allowed that for some reason, or I made a joke, or I did some thing that was somewhat offensive to him, but he was trying to be a counselor to me, and I raise my voice and started sounding gay all the sudden, and he said that’s not real You’re kind of offensive when you do this in counseling essentially because I know better and I don’t like you trying to put me on you’re full of shit
No, he told me I was totally full of shit, and it was hard to hear him. I think he thought that he was taking the place of a father to me in someway psychologically, and he was very very adamant about correcting me at times, so no he he told me that I was fake and, I thought about it and I didn’t quite know what to say because I hadn’t really stopped to think about the fact that I did that for decades I started that in the 30s after I was molested and it became increasingly more sophisticated as I aged, but I I hadn’t really thought about it And so I didn’t know what to say because it’s like you’ve been doing this habitually every time you leave the house for you know 30 years over 30 years more than 30 years 4050 years and you think what the heck yeah I do do that but I don’t think about it anymore. You know I haven’t thought about that since I was a teenager And I haven’t thought about the fact that I fix stuff like that in a way, but doesn’t everybody and yeah I knew it was a little different than some people, but I knew that I was faking it more than some people do but I I didn’t think that it was weird. I just thought I was gonna be a little more masculine or a little more straight in someway, you know the most homosexual’s, which I thought was why Jack could be my friend because I wasn’t a Fagge at the way some faggots. Are you know if I’m being sad about it, you know it’s like Jack and I are like and that way we’re not completely gay or gay but not completely yeah we’re both messed up in different ways that’s what I thought but we’re both homosexual except I wasn’t at all and he was bisexual but I thought we were both homosexual but anyway, this counselor called me out in 1976 and I realized that there was something a little off about me. But I didn’t know what to make of it cause I thought you know there’s nothing that I can do. There’s nothing I can do. I’ve been doing this for decades I don’t think I can just stop talking like this. All the sudden this is just what I do.
So it did stick in my head though because I let me tell you it was you that either the Holy Spirit or Lacey or both of them that in the year, following that 1977 I was hunted by what he told me they frequently came back to that moment in counseling, and it really bothered me because I just felt so devastated by the fact that I wasn’t being honest with myself in some way.
I didn’t I didn’t openly tell anyone this but I had a conversion experience a few times possibly at a Billy Graham crusade in the 60s I was in the eye was actually at the crusade in the bleachers and that in the late 1970s I was possibly listening to him on the radio or on television, and I had a conversion experience And I meant what I did. I hope I meant it I actually really was saved as they say so when I say it was the Holy Spirit or possibly Lacey, if there’s reincarnation, maybe even if there’s not, I mean it.
So I did take my face seriously but I was a very messed up person and I was haunted that year 1977 by what I had found out in counseling. I did a lot of drugs in 1978 and a 1979. How did I end up doing that um my mother was dead my mother was dead I I think people think it was that Bobby wasn’t there that was functionally part of it. I used fewer drugs around him than I normally did, because I felt responsible for him to some degree and he distracted me, but I also think that, I was starting to age and I was starting to realize that my life was ending or that it would be ending relatively soon and that there wasn’t much left. Do you know I turned 60 in 1976 that might’ve been why I was at that nightclub with that woman might’ve been for my birthday or around that time And then after that she was a very beautiful woman but no she’s not lazy she was pretty but she wasn’t lazy. You have no idea how beautiful Lacey can be you really did and is you have no idea but she was a good looking woman she looks something like, she looks something like a Elizabeth Taylor in her style. Her hair was up and she were sort of that empire urges a style of dress anyway you know the ring lets that heavy make up anyway that was 1976 and 1977I was 61 and I was haunted in 1978 I was 62 and yeah I just started giving up on life, I started wanting to just die so I just started using more drugs and it wasn’t that I was really really rejecting Christ it’s that I thought what what is this even do it’s like I was a Christian but to be honest, I might’ve already slightly been one and I wasn’t going to church I didn’t like going to church because I was molested in church when I was a kid and I was a little bit gun shy about going to churches. They were creepy to me to some degree so I didn’t like going to church but yeah in the late 70s I started using drugs, more and more and more it’s true, and I was barely sober and then it was 1980 and I thought it was a new decade it’s 1980 and to be honest, I think I thought something would happen and then nothing did. I saw the shining I saw a Manhattan. I saw the shining I saw Manhattan and Lacey wonders if it was with the boyfriend you know it wasn’t. It wasn’t actually necessarily with a boyfriend if it was, it would make any difference, but it wasn’t necessarily with the boyfriend to, but I went, and I saw if I seen it with her would’ve been in a vastly different experience if I had seen Manhattan with Lacey and she was younger than me by even five years I probably would’ve thought the movie was about us in a way and I would’ve thought it was charming and sad and beautiful kind of like what she thinks if I’d seen the shining with her I would’ve been terrified if there’s reincarnation I would’ve been close to losing my mind. If I had seen that was her some thing would’ve clicked in my head and I would’ve thought what the heck is going on it’s a miracle that we met each other. I’m glad we’re together but there’s something really really creepy about this film and then she would’ve been angry because of her father and she would’ve thought why are they? Why are they attacking my dad‘s Generation? Those people were rich and they drank a lot, but they weren’t all evil. And she would’ve been very upset with Stanley Kubrick and she would’ve been hurt that he assumed that they were all jerks basically and that’s an interesting conversation especially if there’s reincarnation that he actually will maybe have to have with her someday if he ever did make that assumption about the upper class, especially the British upper class But the scene with the men in the the bedroom was a very weird to me because I anticipated that there was something of that nature in the film. Danny was being abused by his parents. I knew that and I thought it was very weird that that was part of the film but I thought it was definitely a part of it somehow And then when those two men did that I thought this is getting weird because that seems like some thing that almost my counselor would you not have brought up? I stopped going to counseling in 1977. I told him that it wasn’t gonna work, and then I needed to stop seeing him and he was very upset with me he refused to talk to me because he felt like I was him that I was bailing out on my self that I was giving up on myself and on truth, and on the healing process all those buzz phrases that they used back then he was very very upset with me, and he was right, but I was I was getting emotionally overwhelmed by what I was realizing about everything and I couldn’t handle it so I gave up and then in 1980. Yeah, I saw the shining and I was freaked out by it because I thought those two men were out of some sort of page of my mind so to speak they seems like they belong somewhere in my subconscious because of the molestation, and then the homosexuality. It was weird that I had been molested, of course and then experience homosexuality is what I thought that I was, and that was in the film in a very odd way, almost like a spiritual force of molestation, and then sort of sexual confusion of some sort or something, and I found that fascinating. I thought that it was beyond me, and I thought I was far too unintelligent to appreciate the depths of Stanley Kubrick‘s genius but I was amazed by the film. I enjoyed it quite a bit. And then I was disappointed at the end of the film because I didn’t like the ending the ending made me angry. It just felt unfinished to me because I thought no what happens to the father he’s just frozen he’s just sitting there frozen and the film makes sense to Lacey Because she’s from Minnesota, and she thinks differently than I do and her father was a bootlegger so there’s some thing about it where she gets it in a way that I don’t but and I mean if there’s reincarnation she’s a Gyptian to, and a Scottish aristocrat, so there are things that I don’t understand that she does about the world But you whether I’m reincarnated or not I was angry at the end of the film I was very angry. Oh, I liked how brilliant the band was, but I found the movie incredibly upsetting. It made me very angry. I was very angry and I was disappointed because I’ve been looking forward to seeing it. There is other things to you that you’re that I was disappointed by like the Reagan administration. Literally, I had problems with them. I’ve talked about that before Ronald Reagan, and I might not have gotten along very well I might’ve met him and I might literally have not gotten along with him very well at all and no I planned my desk that you’re even if Caroline thinks that she saw me and I seemed happy they’re full of shit that they don’t know when people are suicidal, David committed suicide and I don’t think she really knew that he was going to. I think she worried he might but I don’t think she really knew because if she had knowing Then she could’ve been slightly responsible for his death. I don’t think she really knew or she doesn’t give a shit. I Saoirse killed herself too, and they didn’t see that coming. Mary killed herself and that shocked them they’re really not people who you can trust when it comes to things of that nature I’m sorry.
I was planning my suicide whether she saw me at a tennis tournament or not that year. I was planning my suicide, possibly as I sat next to her and pretended to be happy. I was planning my suicide that entire year. I may have said that I was planning my suicide in Valentine’s Day of 1981 and you know maybe that’s true and there’s not reincarnation but I actually did start planning my suicide in 1980 and started researching and analyzing how I could kill myself and away without people knowing that I had killed myself, I didn’t want people thinking of me as a suicide I wanted people to think of me as a suicide But in a very sort of sad way not not not like oh, he killed himself like Marilyn Monroe a more like he killed himself because he was so in love with Jack, or he killed himself because he was such a kind man and he just couldn’t handle what he done to Bobby and David and I was it was something like that that I was hoping for him or he killed himself what I really hoped for was that people would think I killed myself because I had ruined my life and all I was trying to say that Jack really had destroyed my life. I was trying to say that Jack had destroyed my life by killing myself on his birthday I was trying to say that I planned to kill myself on his birthday.
Hi, I was trying to say something else but the illuminati if they exist or realizing that they’re obsessed with hurting Lacey in this repetitive dream like scenario where she falls in love, or she thinks that she’s loved and then she finds out that she really isn’t there obsessed with that and it’s because of Jack and their own problems but they are pathologically obsessed with that narrative with her.
I’m not going to ever let her down in that way even if I was gay I am with her that’s never going to change and if I ever harm somebody, I will just have to spend eternity trying to win her over. I’ve decided that.
But I actually very much was straight. I’m sorry.
So I was talking, and it was actually quite interesting, culturally speaking I think even Lacey is sitting here at her old desk in her old chair in her old house with her old perfume. There’s nothing in her direct view that’s new other than a box of a razors, a Victoria’s Secret lotion, a marble coaster, Sensodyne, toothpaste, and maybe a few other things everything else is pretty old for the most part it’s actually really fascinating, because it is easier to talk to her. It’s also harder, but it’s easier in a sense when she surrounds her self with all things and her fascination with that isn’t entirely what you think it is part of it is that those things bring her comfort in a way that she’s not been able to articulate because no one‘s ever been that interested sadly.
So her old bottle of Chanel 19 is extremely comforting to her because she looks at that and she thinks of my counselor and she realizes that he was probably real and to be honest Michael Rockefellers flirting with her but that’s OK for now because she needs that because you keep scaring her, and she need to be reminded that there are other men other than me who she could could find attractive, and Michael is extremely wonderful as a person he really is actually a really decent man for the most part, so I almost wonder if my Dad counselor brought him up I wouldn’t be surprised if he did.
Perfect I’ve start I’m hearing that it’s possible that her uncle Ron talked to my counselor and told the Holy Spirit to talk. Help me talk about this because he knew that that would be comforting to her so that’s interesting. Ron is Ron is a very intelligent man him at least he has such a complicated family, but that’s a different conversation Anyway and to be honest, you have no idea how complicated things are because Coco Chanel loves Lacey possibly herself and she may have even met Lacey‘s father. You would be surprised who he knew it’s possible she was even in Minnesota once or twice on his estate in the country on his farm had a party where they got drunk and shot things literally like birds and stuff with movie stars and I think she might’ve found him exciting to be with and he was handsome and I kind of wonder if Coco And I feel some sort of tenderness towards Lacey at times that is somewhat maternal to be honest but that’s also an entirely different topic.
What do you think of Lacey’s aesthetic though the way that she likes shooting and hunting and that she likes sweaters and skirts and that she’s fashionable but I’m sort of a more than a rooster Craddick way and then she’s so intelligent I think Coco feels a sort of tenderness in her heart towards that Because I think she relates to it somehow even though they were different people I think she finds it endearing
And to be honest, I am 88 Coco is angry a game at subtypes. It’s possible that that was supernatural because she was into the occult, and I wouldn’t be surprised if she was channeling her self, in some sort of sort of maternal anger outside of time that she wasn’t Cognitively aware of I think she was mad at Jack possibly for hurting Lacey when she said homosexual, rude women’s lives or there’s many a homosexual who’s ruined the woman’s life I kind of wonder if she was thinking of Lacey when she said that in her subconscious. She likes me though she likes me. I think it’s possible, if she would marry her off to anybody that she would marry her off to Constantine. I think she thinks he’s the one that should win because he’s the best.
If there’s an illuminati, she likes that Putin find her attractive again. She finds Lacey very endearing. She may even relate to her at times but but now I’m on good terms with her so we’re fine, right? It’s not quite like that. I don’t have to be on good terms with her, but if she feels maternal towards Lacey, it helps to be on good terms with her if she’s not in hell, and she cares about Lacey.
So in 1980 I wish I had married Lacey. I wish I wish you’d been there, and I wish I’d married her, but she wasn’t there.
And so I plan to kill myself the entire euro planet, I plotted in planned. How could I overdose? How can I really kill myself in a way that would really work? Oh, and IIII planned it very methodically that year and then in 1981 I was set I did go to Valentine’s Day dinner that year and fall apart and to be honest that might be Eric Harris his way of telling Lacey that there’s not reincarnation. You know it’s possible people witness to them as they were shooting people, and they even died as Christians. You’d be surprised how God tries to save people from Hell.
So I I applauded and planned the entire year of 1981 how am I going to kill myself in 1980 and then I actually did it you know it was Valentine’s Day at that 1981 that I really gave up it was in 1980 or 81 that I saw that pornographic film And I realized that my counselor was right and that I had been tricked most of my life by myself in a way, but really by a lot of people into thinking that I was homosexual because I know there were people who wondered if I was straight and I’ve not talked about that.
I didn’t want to bring that up but now I have to because it’s necessary for Lacey’s mental stability because it’s that meaningful.
Peter Lawford guessed that I was heterosexual. If there’s no luminosity, I did go to a party once at his house, and he was watching what I was watching. It was a sex party if there’s an illuminati, and I was fascinated by a couple who were having sex you were straight and yes, it was something like eyes wide shut And I was just standing there kind of with my mouth open, staring at them, and he saw that it was an orgy. It was a Hollywood sex orgy. That was actually a sort of steppingstone into the illuminati and that was in the that was in the early 1960s And so he saw that and he thought this is weird that he’s so hyper focused on that couple because they were straight and there were gay people and I wasn’t remotely interested in watching them. I wasn’t flirting with them. I was totally disinterested in what I was focused on were the heterosexuals, especially good looking ones and I just stood there, staring at them like an idiot And he was smart enough and intuitive enough as an actor to guess that I was probably heterosexual.
But he never told anybody and all of the years that I am sure he knew he was very quiet about it.
Likewise, Frank Sinatra also knew that I was probably heterosexual. And he actually has tried to convince Lacey to stay faithful to me and give me a second chance and it was real and she stayed with me because of what he told her. I mean I would’ve gone after her anyway, but there was at least one night when she left with me so to speak, and it was because he told her that I deserved a second chance and her estimation. He has a soft spot for her, and while she was young before she knew a lot of stuff, he had her listen to his music a lot because he wanted her to enjoy hearing him before any of this crap happened because he knew that she like his music, and he wanted her to be able to enjoy some thing of a life that she never got to have And so she has good memories of hearing his music because he knew better, and he understood that she really needed to hear it on tainted by all of this evil.
He was a very sensitive man. He was a ladies man, but he was also a sensitive person. It’s possible that by having a daughter of his own, though he also understood him some thing about her. I wouldn’t be surprised if she reminds him slightly of her daughter and his person and her personality and he might be a little bit like her dad, Tom, just a bit. I actually got along with him fairly well and I was never in a relationship with him, but I got along with him. And I I I have to say he knew that I was straight, not gay. He he thought I was straight and he was a he was very scared. He had to be kept quiet about it. Someone had to pay him off if there was an assassination plot to kill JFK. Someone paid him a lot of money, because he figured out that I was heterosexual.
They also agreed to let him live, so let him have a lavish life to some degree to never really go out of style and he didn’t because that’s how he works stuff. He new stuff and then you pay them off and you knew him. He was good for it um, so if I had some part of Jack’s assassination, they paid Frank Sinatra off and I was part of how he figured out what it actually happened. Nobody told him he wasn’t in on it. He wasn’t a part of it at all. He really was an artist he he had connections to the mafia, but he was first and foremost, an artist. I’m so people had to pay him off because he figured it out. It really was just that he figured it out. He saw him my playboy collection. Literally I had one. I don’t know why Bobby doesn’t think he’s ever seen it apparently but I really did have one. I don’t know how he never saw it but I had one. And he thought he knew that I subscribed him. He may been at my apartment sitting in my living room or something, and he saw a copy of it laying around.
Hey, he saw a copy of it laying around and he guessed that I was not homosexual. I think he had a very strong conviction of that he met me. He saw my mannerisms, and I think, being smart and being somewhat bisexual being streetsmart I also I think he knew instantly what he was looking at he might’ve even been slightly supernaturally, aware of things more than most people The night that he died Lacey‘s friend Sarah saw Frank Sinatra in a dream and he said to her friend well thanks for everything. I’m glad you came to the show or something like that and then her friend told her that that the night that he died he appeared to her in a dream saying goodbye. He did that he appeared to her friend as he was dying, so that it would be proof to her that there is a supernatural Because he knew that if she had that dream somehow it’s sexist, but he knew that it was just in her brain the way that she thinks it’s sexist, but he knew I did. It’s also not really sexist, but I’m saying that so that people don’t you know you know Disrespect him but he knew that it would just seem strange to her that she would think I must have known he was sick or I must have known somehow that he was going to die. I must’ve figured it out because I’m like that he knew that if he appeared in a dream to one of her friends that it would be too freaking weird he knew it would be too weird to her because why is this friend having a dream that he’s dead before anyone knew he was dead and it was a dream and it was her friend and it was just very creepy and so he did that as sort of a wink at her that this whole thing is it nonsense that Tom is her dad that he really had a link to Lacey specifically as a person And he did have connections to the mafia and so did Lacey‘s father arm so I think he might have felt again a sort of softness in his heart towards her where he might’ve felt like he needed to say goodbye to her or acknowledge her somehow, just briefly maybe more than some people he might’ve chosen a few people to say goodbye to in someway after he died, but she was one of them that he needed. He decided he needed to see use his energy that was left Him to sort of communicate with her and that was a very wise idea he was right that was very smart, but he was like that
Hey, he did know that I was heterosexual though, and he was quiet about it and that actually is part of the reason why he chose her to part of it is her dad and then part of it is that he felt guilty that he never said anything about me to almost anybody. Because he knew the misery that she was going to end up going through, and it was agonizing to him.
No he he was when he died he was it was you know straight to God give me the 411 I wanna know everything and that was some thing God told him and so that’s what he chose to do with that information was appear to her friend in a dream.
That actually happened OK that’s 100% fact.
But he saw that article, and he might’ve liked the magazine himself, and he just knew because he himself might’ve read it occasionally that there was very little likelihood that I was gay, and I think he made other observations previous to that but he just knew that I was not homosexual And he was a he was aware he was aware that I was straight because he confronted me about the magazine and said you’re a long time subscriber Halim to playboy can you hear him saying that that’s literally what he said essentially you’re a long-term so subscriber to the playboy Harlem to and I said yeah yeah I’ve been reading that dirty magazines since I was practically a kid it wasn’t around that long, but I said something along those lines am that wasn’t quite what I said, but it was that I had been reading it for a very long time And it was I kind of made a joke about being you know young maybe I said before I was bald I said something and he said you know, I’m not finding this funny lab the fact that you’re reading a dirty magazine whatever kept you from having a wife to and I said oh you know you know you know kind of you you know what it was I don’t want to tell you And he got very angry and very quiet and I had never seen him like that but he got very quiet. It was like Dudley quiet and we had dinner after that actually at my house and he was very distant but I didn’t think that a lot had happened but I, I assumed that he’d probably just kind of moved on you know in the conversation Lacey wouldn’t have thought that oh what do you know I pick up on other things that she doesn’t pick up on but she would’ve picked up on that that he figured something else, and shortly after that, he had to be paid off And there were some people who stopped talking to me after that because they were so mad at me because they had to pay them off and they couldn’t figure out why I handled things that way him and what they wanted me to do was to just if if there was an assassination plot this did happen whether there was an assassination, plot or not, but if there was an assassination plot, shortly after that is when I had to pay him off, we had to pay them off Rather if there was an assassination plot am II am I was supposed to have told him what happened I was supposed to have explain to him that I was straight I guess in essence or something like that because they really did think that if there was a plot to kill Jack George Bush Bush Senior thought I was heterosexual, and he thought that I was basically out of my mind for not married a woman, but he blamed Jack
And he thought that I am he thought that I was ruining my life but they had interested me in my sexuality when they were investigating Jack if there’s if there if there was a plot to kill him they were very fascinated by the Eno trying to figure out if I was homosexual And they decided that I wasn’t and they were going to help me and they were really adamant about it and I really thought that some thing was gonna happen to my life. You know that was happy because I was miserable before Jack died. It was already quite miserable. You know I don’t know if people notice this or not but I didn’t really take that good care of myself I gained weight Before he died I dressed so much sloppily on occasion. I looked good, but I actually didn’t take care of myself at times I really didn’t I was I was a handsome man it out. It looked neat but there was times where I had stains on my clothes or I didn’t. I didn’t have my pants or I wore clothes that were too tight or I gained a lot of weight because I was miserable. I really was I was miserable and I had the idea that that they were going to help change my life and you know sort of straighten things out for me if there was a plot to kill him and him, and then after he died, they lost interest in helping me. There was some interest for a short amount of time but it was not what I thought it was gonna be but I I guess I was supposed to have told them that I was heterosexual. I was supposed to have told them told told Frank That they thought I was anyway because that was the first time that I really wondered if I was heterosexual if I was just really messed up was when the CIA was planning to kill Jack if there’s if there was a plot to kill him that was when I first started to wonder if there is if I was actually straight, but it seems so far fetched it was so far-fetched me at that point cause I thought I could just marry a woman you know there’s nothing wrong with me. I have an aerial diseases and I’m old but my gosh you know I am that’s actually an option for me it’s possible, and it seems astounding, but then you know I had I didn’t take it real serious because I thought oh well I don’t know you know it’s just not right you know I’m probably gay that’s too hopeful. I thought it was too hopeful to think I was really a heterosexual so but but but Frank was quite sure that I was I guess and he figured out that I was attracted to women and he decided that I was straight, and he figured out that weed kill Jack if there’s if there was a plot partially through talking with me and they were very mad at me that I hadn’t handled the situation on my own in a way and paid him off myself possibly because I did have some money and I think they thought that somehow I was not covering them so this week I didn’t have their back and so there was a few men who had been friendly to me just in passing if I ever saw them who stop talking to me completely because they were just livid. They thought I was just a jerk, I mean they just went acknowledged me in public anymore because I just saw that I was a jerk and I think they also wanted to distance themselves from me because they thought that it was safe for them to see a lore on more disconnected to me just in case if Frank ever told anybody But no, he figured it out so him Peter Lawford knew I think Bobby Kennedy Senior knew in his heart that I was heterosexual, but he himself was slightly bisexual, and I think he was very embarrassed by that and about sexual things that had happened with other people in his family and I think like Jack for instance as one example and I think he thought that there was something creepy about the whole thing and it was embarrassing to him And so instead of sort of processing that, and realizing that he’s been molested to some degree by Jack, he decided to sort of pressured under the rug and just ignore the fact that he probably figured out that I was heterosexual to there were other people who aren’t famous who knew that I was heterosexual And they stabbed me in the back by not telling anybody or by actually saying the opposite saying that I was gay when they knew that I really wasn’t bad and Bradley may actually be one of them.
I’m not saying that for sure because that would be too upsetting to Lacey if she was wrong, and she wasn’t hearing from me, but he may have known that I was straight and then purposely lied about it to say face and sort of told the Kennedy line he may have even emphasized it out of gills, or because he was trying to draw attention to it in a very subconscious sub, textual subliminal way. I think he got spooked by the CIA. If if there was a plot to kill Jack, I think he got scared, and that’s part of the reason he started saying I was gay because he wanted to cover his own behind and his families behind, and he didn’t want anyone paying any attention to them so if there was a plot to kill Jack know, he knew I was straight intentionally, and then decided to lie about it, and people didn’t necessarily know that I was homosexual he said the opposite but but that actually could be the opposite and him, saying I guess everyone knew that lame. Everyone probably knew that one was gay I believe he’s one of the people that said, that may have actually been a hint towards the illuminati because they say things backwards and Satanism and he may have been hinting at some sort of high-level, illuminati plot to kill Jack by saying I guess everyone knew that Lem was gay.
He may have been trying to say the opposite that I guess some people knew that I was straight or rather I don’t think what would be the absolute opposite of that. Are you trying to tell me that some people didn’t know that lamb was straight ?
I think that might be more what he was saying if there is an illuminati plot if it was him that said that if he knew I wonder if that’s what he was saying it’s just more of a question like Like what are you telling me it’s possible someone was trying to warn him that I was straight at some point and that was his reaction. I don’t know who is trying to warn him on if it was a historian who suspected it and thought that maybe he would say something or if it was somebody in my family or somebody in the media, but I think he knew potentially that there had been some plot, and that I had been a part of that pot him if there was one.” says Lem.
“How much of that is true?” says a man.
“90%.” says God.
“So he really was heterosexual?” says the man.
“Yes.” says Lem.
“Yes.” says God.
“What part wasn’t true?” says the man.
“Some of the dates are a little off. And he may not have been…in that relationship.” says God. “He was heterosexual.”
“So everyone assumes he was entirely gay. WHY!?” says a man.
“Did he ever say he wasn’t attracted to women?” says a woman.
“No. He never said that.” says God.
“Ahh…do people just assume that back then?” says a man.
“Yes. Sort of.” says the CIA.
“Then why does Wikipedia say he was gay?” asks a man.
“Because…it’s Wikipedia. And…there are MANY people who were or are bisexual who aren’t identified correctly on there.” says Mark Zuckerberg.
“Okay…that’s weird that they do that though. I mean…why couldn’t he be bisexual!?” she says.
“Yeah. There’s absolutely NO historical reason to confirm his homosexuality instead of bisexuality. At all. …It’s…not…honest. …But that’s Wikipedia.” says the CIA.
“So…he NEVER said he was not attracted to women!??” says a woman.
“Yup.” says Lem.
“Then we’re totally trying way too hard to make them a couple. …I mean…why do we assume they’re still a couple!??” she says. “I don’t get it!”
“Because they fell in love young. And Lem died over him?” says a gay man.
“Did he though!? …And I mean…no. Eww! …Jack was a total douche.” she says.
Silence.
“Why would we assume anyone was still with him!? It’s not…normal.” she says.
“Because he killed himself on his birthday.” says a Boomer.
“That’s not impressive. That’s creepy.
That’s creepy.
There’s nothing about that that screams eternal true love to me.
If he’d lived his life and…been…sane…maybe? But…his self destruction seems…suspicious. …It’s not just grief. It’s…like…why…can’t he live with it? At all? …Why does it totally destroy him? …I feel like…a parent can affect you that way. Slowly over time. And some people do kill themselves over their spouse. But…he totally self-destructed. It’s weird.” she says. “Why hasn’t anyone been weirded out by the Dick Van Dyke Show?”
“So…you think he seems more haunted than grief stricken?” says a man.
“YES. He’s too…dark. …It’s not like he’s just sad. He seems…crazy.” she says. “Like he’s losing his mind.”
“We assumed it was just the drugs.” says Bobby.
“He looks…weirder than that.” she says.
“Like how?” he says.
“I’m not arguing with you.” she says.
“He…told me he was gay too. …But…it was…a casual commitment, I’ll describe it as a casual commitment. And it wasn’t…convincing. …I think the truth is…many of us knew he wasn’t gay.” says Frank Sinatra. “But…then Jack looked stupid. And he…had a lot of fans!”
“Why did Jack look stupid?” says the CIA.
“Because he smiled too much around Lem. Simple as that. He was…proud of Lem. Lem was tall and handsome. Okay? …And he was very smart! And Jack felt posh and aristocratic with Lem as his buddy. They both went Choate you know? Lem had a rich person accent. …Jack did not. …So…Lem made him feel elite. …And…yet…Jack lived to act better than people, to be honest. So…he needed Lem to be his inferior. He needed Lem to be obsessed with him. …And he told people that. He intimated it. Often! …A lot of people knew he had a room for him. It was common knowledge. In the inner circle. And…he sold that as…Lem being his…sex slave. …His secret gay slave. …Nothing serious. Just…slavery. …Real stuff too. Nothing…sentimental. …And Jack…was…a real ding dong.
…He FLIRTED with MANY MEN.
Me. Tennessee Williams. Peter Lawford. Gore Vidal. …Red Fay. Ben Bradlee. …MANY men. …We…knew he was really flirting. …Bing Crosby. …We knew. But you ignored it. Because it was shameful. …So you treated it like it was bad. Very bad. Yuck! Huge yuck! But…at the same time he would flirt with everyone!” says Frank.
Lacey laughs.
Jack smacks Ben Bradlee in the ass. Giggles.
“Jack!” says Ben.
Jack just laughs.
“Jack!” says Ben.
“What!?” says JFK, laughing.
Ben laughs too.
An hour later.
“I’d like to take a walk.” says Gore Vidal. “But…it’s so congested here in the capital.”
“Would you like to take a walk upstairs!? To my bed!?” says Jack Kennedy, laughing.
“Oh Jack! Silly!!!” says Gore Vidal.
…
“Actually…that’s not that far off.” says Frank.
“How obvious would it be to us today?” says Bobby.
“Mm…obvious. …He’s not straight. …And it would be much harder to hide that now. Speech writers couldn’t avoid the media. Back then there was less media. Less photos. Less cameras. People didn’t see as much. …Now..someone would see something.” he says. “Or his phone would get…leaked. He’d send dirty emails or photos to some man.”
“Who!?” says a gay man.
“Red!” says Frank Sinatra. “Definitely Red Fay. He…flirted with Lem. Because Lem was attractive to him. …But Red…was actually dirty. Not just…in imaginary land. Red…was passionate.”
“So Jack had many gay lovers?” says a reader.
“At least 6.” says Frank.
“And Lem was straight?!” says a reader.
“Yes.” says Frank. “He had to be. Do you really think a gay man could have put up with all that!? For years!? No! Never. …Listen…Red was very pragmatic. He married. They had sex in the military. Often. At war. When they first met. …Lem knew that too. How do you imagine he never gets hurt!? It’s…ludicrous!
Red and Jack were lovers. Real lovers. As far as homosexual goes. The whole gambit. But Red married a woman and that’s how he avoided getting more hurt.
…Ben…was married too. And he…avoided getting hurt by intellectualizing it. And being married.
I…preferred women. Jack knew that.
Bing…hated homosexuality.
Tennessee Williams was…using Jack for sex. And the thrill of it. Because he demanded we think he was straight. And Tennessee loved that act. It turned him on. The football player who’s bisexual or gay, secretly. Jack!
Yeah. He chose men who would be…easy to deal with. He loved provoking women. Men…scared him.” says Frank.
“Did he sacrifice Michael?” asks a woman.
“Yes.” says Frank. “If there’s an Illuminati. Yes. He did.”
“Because Michael found him repulsive?” says a reader.
“Yes. Michael found Jack…annoying and repulsive. If there’s an Illuminati. …And instead of being open about it at all Jack…hid that secret and…in 1960 he sat with a woman I’ll call Beverley…on a sofa at an Illuminati party…and over Tarot cards…on a luxurious coffee table…in California…they plotted Michael’s death.” says Frank.
“Why!?” says a reader.
“Because they were looking for someone to kill. Literally. It was very dark. Very…sinister.” says Frank.
“Why!?” says a reader.
“Because that’s their way. …That’s their religious belief. …You sacrifice a human…who’s…worth it…to bring…results. From some demonic or evil entity. It appeases them. Supposedly.” says Frank. “Michael was very decent. Very loved. And…Jack was gaining popularity. Among women, actually. …Rich women. Valley of the Dolls type of women. Stepford Wives. Who were into magic. And…exotic stuff. …As their friend. …They figured out he wasn’t straight. And they won his confidence.
So…Beverley tells him she’s in a jam. Needs a sacrifice. Quick! …And he suggests Micheal. Because he hates him. And…she’s open-minded. He’s nerdy. Sweet. Seems safe to her. No angry fathers-in-law.
And so…he requests Michael die. And…they put an intense curse on him. To kill him. Right then and there.” says Frank.
“What was that supposed to do for Jack?” says a witch.
“Bring him lots of happiness. …Good fortune.” says Frank.
“What did it actually do?” asks the witch.
“People turned on him. …Beverly herself ratted him out.” says Frank.
“So…Rocky knew?” she says.
“Yes!” says Frank. “Of course. They told him. And he blamed himself. But he felt no obligation to protect Jack from Retaliation. R.”
“So…Fidel Castro?” says a woman.
“Not just him! …Krushev hated him!!
I hated him sometimes!
A lot of people hated him.
But yeah. I guess it was Fidel who finally decided to pull the trigger.” says Frank.
“Who else wanted to!?” says the CIA.
“ has anyone else noticed that this sounds like him in a way that I don’t think she could mimic?” says a woman.
“Krushev. …A mob boss or two. Marilyn Monroe. …He…assassinated her first. …They hated each other. …He used her…and then she started sleeping with lots of other men, including Bobby. And…that made…him…JEALOUS. …HE was jealous OVER HER. …And then he hid that and found a way to make her feel suicidal. Using Bobby. …Bobby knew he was trying to edge her towards suicide. And he went along with it. …It was one of the most evil things I ever saw him do. Bobby. …Because it was wrong. But she really pissed Jack off. And he decided to just kill her…by torturing her to death and bringing her to kill herself. …She was her own murderer. But they put her up to it. She barely did it herself. Just barely. …He was there. Bobby. When she did it. …He was her lover. And…they were…supposed to be together. But…he told her to kill herself instead. And she decided it was a good idea! …Jack was calling the shots though.
And nobody who loved her…forgot about it.
By 1962 he was doomed.
He just made far too many people angry.” says Frank.
“So…a group of Republicans decided to kill him. But Rocky couldn’t protect him? And…his gay lovers couldn’t either?” says a woman.
Pause.
“No.
See…I didn’t know.
Bing didn’t know.
Red didn’t know.
Gore didn’t know.
And Lem…who knew…was in on it. Because he was straight. And secretly incredibly bitter.
Tennessee didn’t know. None of us knew. Except for Lem.” says Frank.
“Did Elliott have a grudge?” says a reader.
“Yes! …He made a lot of people angry.” says Frank.
“So Lem…vomited. And wanted to go play golf. And if there’s reincarnation…Eric Harris watched and got deeply offended.
But…if there’s any way…could you tell me what it was like for an actual gay man who found him attractive to be with him?” asks a woman.
“We all hated Lem.
Lem…was…painfully unaware. And we felt it. Because he’d stand there happy. …And we were miserable. Jealous. And he was so…polite and at ease. …And it seemed possible he was one of us. So…it hurt. He really was annoying. For that reason. Jack used him.
The rest of us? Those of us who weren’t standing off in the corner pouring drinks like them. Half smiling. Silently like a slave.
We…were kind to each other. …Pretended not to care. Pretended to really just be his friend. Even Gore did that one. …Lem is really the only one who didn’t. …And he was straight. …But those of us who actually felt something…were in agony. Because we had to hide it! Badly. From each other. From…the press. From everyone. …Because we had no control.
See…Lem had control over his emotions. Because he simply didn’t care. …With Lacey he’s a wreck. And she can’t see that. And it would…kill her anyway. She loves him. …But…he managed to avoid that because he just didn’t care!! …He paid women to come take him off his hands. Regularly. …But we…felt no such relief.
Jack wasn’t polyamorous. He was a dirty man.
You’d feel special. One minute. …Two days later you’d find out he was off it.
Or sometimes far worse.
One man…made love to him. Jack got dressed. He got dressed. …Jack brought him out of the White House. They said goodbye. …And this youngish man…who was a rising Hollywood star…at the time…early 20’s…
He leaves and as soon as he leaves Jack calls his producer and asks him to give him the boot. Fire him. Right away. …Just to be sadistic. Just to make him scared. Too scared to tell a soul. And it worked. Sort of. …I think he was mad at Jack after Jack died.” says Frank.
“Who was that?” asks a gay man.
“Rip Torn.” says Frank. “I guess he wanted us to think he was that young. …Or she’s not hearing the name.”
“If it was me…I was bisexual.” says Rip.
“What were you fired from!?” asks a man.
“A musical.” he says.
“So…he…sacrificed Micheal. Rip Torn was bisexual. And Lem was straight.” says a reader.
“What role did you have?” asks man.
“A young cowboy.” he says. “She’s hearing this. Whether this is entirely accurate.”
“Did you like musicals Lem?” says Robert Osborne from TCM.
“No.” says Lem. “I didn’t. …You’d expect me to. But I actually didn’t.”
“Did Jack?” asks Robert Osborne.
“Yes.” says Frank Sinatra. “Jack loved musicals.”
“You really didn’t like any musicals?” Robert asks Lem.
“I didn’t. I actually didn’t.” says Lem.
“What did you like?” asks the CIA.
“Classical music. Jazz. …Opera. …Swing. …I liked…a lot music. …Beethoven. Dave Brubeck. …But I never liked musicals.” says Lem.
“Who was your favorite?” asks the CIA.
“I liked…King Harvest. Dancing in the Moonlight. Songs like that. A lot. …The 70’s had good music. In my opinion. …Beethoven. I liked Beethoven.” he says.
“Who

Keen to Cross the Pond 