Kubrick Wonders

Stanley Kubrick: So…that’s not real.

None of that is actually possible, yet. I’m sorry.

The perfume community: Okay.

Stanley Kubrick: What I wonder…is why…people like you always assume the right…to the Rainbow Room.

Why does Dr. Harford think he has a right to go there?

The perfume community: *Thinks*

We can’t…-

It’s a secret.

Stanley Kubrick: No, in this context…it can’t be.

Why?

The perfume community: *Thinks*

*Thinks some more.*

Because it’s for everyone?

Stanley Kubrick: No! Not the Rainbow Room. You’re confusing Heaven or possibly even the Kingdom of Heaven…on Earth…with the Rainbow Room.

The perfume community: *Thinks*

What’s the difference?

Stanley Kubrick: There’s a big difference!

Heaven is…Heaven?

This isn’t as…good, actually.

This is…mortal. Heaven is immortal.

The perfume community: So…what you’re saying-

You are snubbing me!

Stanley Kubrick: No.

We’re still just discussing the Rainbow Room.

The perfume community: I don’t like where this is going!!!

Stanley Kubrick: You can’t discuss anything?

The perfume community: FINE.

What’s the DIFFERENCE!?

Stanley Kubrick: The Rainbow Room is…of this world. It can decay.

The perfume community: Why does that matter!?

Stanley Kubrick: GOOD!

The perfume community: *Looks confused*

Stanley Kubrick: Because…it’s dark.

“Eyes Wide Shut” was in the dark.

The perfume community: Mmmhmm.

So y’all seeing ghosts?

Stanley Kubrick: We can and do. Yes.

The perfume community: Well, I didn’t know that!!!

Stanley Kubrick: EXACTLY!!!

What right do you have…to march arrogantly…into one of my meetings…and start demanding money and sex? I’m DOING SOMETHING.

What the heck do you know!? NOTHING!!!

But people like you smell blood…and start charging your way right in.

The perfume community: Okay.

And since you are not…the Christian church…we can’t be using The Gospel?

The Illuminati: That was his idea.

The perfume community: So “Eyes Wide Shut” is a wake-up call to Satanists!?

Stanley Kubrick: Yes? In a way.

*People think*

Stanley Kubrick: We knew…those of us who cared…in the…community…that pedophilia wasn’t a way out. Financially or otherwise.

We saw the writing on the wall.

There was no way we could maintain a stable economy and world order…using molestation to make money. And so we decided to…say something. My film was a protest. An internal protest.

I felt…that…we were completely misguided.

Baal worship? Ha! Please! *He rolls his eyes*

People were rewriting history…and still are…to believe that molestation can be a sacrifice. *He laughs* IT OBVIOUSLY IS NOT.

But…people kept insisting it was.

The perfume community: So why not just worship Baal?

Stanley Kubrick: We all have to do it.

Or there has to be some…modicum of unity. There can’t be ten movie producers, three Old Hollywood stars, a famous journalist…and one world leader…saying one chant…burning a goat…and then…forty new money assholes trying to sacrifice a child by molesting them.

We’re literally trying to impress a deity.

For the sake of power.

You think Baal cares like Jesus!?

We KNOW that’s not true.

*He laughs*

No. Based on experience…Baal is going to see our…disunity…and laugh. Right in our faces.

Say, “YOU FOOLS!!”

So…we have to have our act together.

The perfume community: Why don’t you just worship Christ? Or God?

Stanley Kubrick: Okay.

Some do!!!

Louis Hill Junior did! No! Louis Hill Junior did. But he’s dead.

We need living people to make it work.

Why not worship Christ or God now? *Rolls his eyes and shrugs* Because…people think it’s stupid.

There’s SUCH an anti-Christian movement. It’s real.

Why else? Because people who are very rich…don’t want to be accountable to God. At times. No, not Lacey. But there are many people who just…haven’t wanted to submit to Christ.

Dolly Parton: I made that mistake.

I worshiped Beelzebub. And at the time it seemed…funny. Kinda…cool and edgy? But…the problem is…I was worshipping Beelzebub. I actually worshipped that weasel.

*She laughs*

So now I’m stuck…

Because I actually worshipped…Beelzebub.

The perfume community: Why can’t you just be accountable!?!

The Illuminati: Very complicated.

I mean…”solving poverty” is extremely difficult. You can’t do it either. Stop lying.

So…we…feel…trapped. And…in our stupidity…we…worship Baal.

The perfume community: But it doesn’t work?

God: No.

I have compassion. I understand.

And at times I try to work with certain people. Because I can tell they just feel…trapped.

But…I can’t work that way with everyone.

Stanley Kubrick: Does the perfume community feel that they’d obviously be people God could work with?

The perfume community: Yes.

Stanley Kubrick: BE CAREFUL WITH YOUR HUBRIS.

*He laughs.*

If your grandeur isn’t real…you’re in trouble.

The Illuminati: Lacey is real. Remember?

I’m real too. The person saying this.

The perfume community: Ha!

Putin isn’t doing this.

This is a joke.

A woman in Minnesota: No! It’s not.

The perfume community: No.

She’s just mean.

She’s just…mean.

A woman in Minnesota: And poor?

The perfume community: Yesss!

Yup.

Nothing else makes any sense.

A woman in Minnesota: So…we’re not…being psychologically invaded by Putin? Through you? And your stupidity?

The perfume community: No.

I’m not stupid.

I have a PhD.

No, I do.

I do!

And…umm…-

No. See…she’s not…smart.

I have a PhD.

I do!!!

Do you!? Huh!? DO YOU!?

No. You don’t!

A woman in Minnesota: Actually, I do.

The perfume community: Lying.

I detect lying. Yup. In my Tarot session…right now…I’m reticent to say that I detect a lie.

England: *Cracks-up laughing*

The perfume community: YOU ARE-

MEXICAN!?

A woman in Minnesota: German. And…French. And Polish.

The perfume community: No. You’re actually a Jew.

I’m not going to lie anymore.

No. I’m done with the lies.

A woman in Minnesota: No.

I’m not Jewish.

*She laughs*

Why do-

The perfume community: SHHH!!!

Shhh!

You can’t talk.

Stop…talking.

I’m going to explain.

Okay?

I’m…the WINNER.

I WON.

Putin: There’s no way out! Not the usual way.

You can’t attack her. She’s innocent.

*He laughs, mocking “America”*

A hater: There is no such thing as the Illuminati or ghosts.

This is just navel gazing stupidity!

*She looks insane, rocking herself back and forth.*

I don’t believe in ghosts! I don’t believe!!!

Putin: *falls over laughing at “America”*

A “red pill” American: Wait! I got this.

Go be evil?

Putin: STOP! *He struggles to breathe, he’s laughing so hard*

The Illuminati: I think…you’ve all gotten the wrong idea?

We really…-

That won’t work. It’ll just make things worse.

“Red pill” Americans: HUH!?

The Illuminati: EVIL IS WORTHLESS.

“Red Pill” Americans: Then why are you being evil?

And making it look cool…

The Illuminati: It’s…-

We’re doing a thing. Okay?

“Red Pill”: WHAT!?

The Illuminati: Buddhism!?

The Ying and the Yang?

Except, we think way too highly of ourselves. So we overdo the evil.

That’s one example.

“Red Pill”: This is all just her?

The Illuminati: That’s actually either sociopathic or you’re genuinely illiterate. No. I’m a character, or I’m real.

“Red Pill”: I’m too REAL.

The Illuminati: Then it’s you.

“Red Pill”: But she just keeps pointing out my stupidity!!! I’m NOT STUPID!!!

The Illuminati: What are you?

“Red Pill”: I’m WISE!!

I’m a WISE man.

The Illuminati: In reality or in your ego?

“Red Pill”: I SEE HER TYPOS!

I SEE HER TYPOS!!

Ha! WHAT A LOSER SHE IS?!!!

Ha!

When I type…I KICK ASS!!!

I KICK ASS!!!!

I WIN!!’

I’m a WINNER!!!!!

I’m a WINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*He thinks*

She’s PSYCHOTIC. Yes, I called the police on her blog. Yes, I read it. Daily.

So what?

*He laughs at her like he’s a really good person*

The Illuminati: Why are you reading this blog?

“Red Pill”: Because. I’m a dumbass.

I thought she’d start to love herself and be happy.

*He laughs at her more, like he’s profoundly wise*

The CIA: Why…don’t you…talk to her? In person?

“Red Pill”: I have.

I don’t like her.

The CIA: Then you can’t be reading her blog because you truly care.

Why are you reading it?

“Red Pill”: *Panics*

Because I hate her.

The CIA: And you called the police after she described being attacked on a hike by Muslims? Or after she explained her family’s wealth?

“Red Pill”: Both.

The CIA: Then how is she psychotic thinking you’re watching her and that you’re out to get her? YOU ARE.

“Red Pill”: I’m not a threat!

I’m A REALLY GOOD PERSON!!!!

The CIA: Not in relation to her. And actually, you have physically attacked her. Legally. You have.

“Red Pill”: *Shakes their heads no*

Conspiracy against…a woman…who…-

I am allowed.

It’s not illegal!!!

You can’t take away MY RIGHTS!!

The CIA: To do what!? Break the law?

What you all did was actually a felony.

For real.

And now you’re determined to believe she’s mentally-ill?

*They laugh*

You guys are…a riot.

“Red Pill”: No.

She’s nice. I just…-

She’s so prissy.

Lacey: TRUE!

That’s the…pejorative way to see it. But…that’s not completely untrue. I am…prissy at my worst, so to speak.

The CIA: Why can’t you all handle that?? *They say in fear*

“Red Pill”: *They grab their ice cold Coke*

*Screw the cap back on*

*Think*

It’s-

*Think*

She is a Virgo.

*They think*

She wants to improve everything. I think our neighborhood is fine. Just the way it is!!!

The CIA: Huh.

“Red Pill”: I don’t want…-

I’m sure your neighbors would love a visit from Tim Walz, to their house. But…it’s also weird.

Tim Walz: Why?

“Red Pill”: He’s the governor.

Tim Walz: I know her neighbors. Well!

“Red Pill”: Yes! But…you aren’t-

Tim Walz: Before she moved in…they didn’t live there!!

And then she moves here…and now look!

Tim Walz: So…I’m…”the element” to you?

“Red Pill”: Yes.

My neighborhood…is mine.

Tim Walz: But in your state…I’m the governor.

Kasey: You guys…at the Minnesota State Fair…you can meet them. …You can walk right up to them…with your pronto pup…and give them A HUG.

See!?

That’s DEMOCRACY.

*She laughs*

I’ve done it!!! Peggy is a sweetheart.

The CIA: You’re confusing her family oil…with…the Minnesota State Fair.

Elliott Roosevelt: *Laughs*

Do you actually not understand the difference?

“Red Pill”: *Looks worried*

Lacey’s neighbor: To be honest…I’m not sure they do.

…I’m not rich…and my family isn’t…but…it’s not the same as meeting them at the State Fair.

Elliott: What do you think it is?

Lacey’s neighbor: *Thinks*

We’re upper middle class.

Elliott: Yeah! Pretty much.

What does “Red Pill” think about that?

“Red Pill”: *angry, for some reason*

THIS IS MY NEIGHBORHOOD!

…I don’t like it.

He’s a chill guy. Cool!!

Elliott: Would you like to chew her neighbor out?

Be honest.

“Red Pill”: *weird smile*

Elliott: Why can’t you?

“Red Pill”: Because if I do…she’ll think I’m siding with Lacey.

Elliott: Yeah!

Why can’t you have that?

“Red Pill”: Because!! Her neighbors are “the rich people” in our neighborhood. They’re terrifying.

Elliott: Makes sense.

But…it’s also illegal. You can’t threaten and harass people like that. It’s private property. You don’t own her house and land. No one in the neighborhood does.

“Red Pill”: *Thinks*

I don’t think…I find anyone as annoying as her. In the whole neighborhood. Even if she’s our scapegoat…it’s not…imaginary. I genuinely don’t like her.

Tom Banks: You don’t like what she is.

Don’t get it confused.

You don’t know her!!!

“Red Pill”: True.

I’ve mostly just read her art.

Tom Banks: Yeah. And you hate it.

Fine!

You’re allowed to hate her art. But you can’t physically attack her just because you hate her art.

But don’t assume you’d dislike her, if you actually tried to get along with her. None of you have actually ever tried to truly get along with her. Ever!

“Red Pill”: Fair.

Tom: Okay.

So she’s going to move.

And you all committed a real felony.

Do you like the people who buy her house? Probably.

What if…they get along with her next door neighbors more than you? Then what?

*He laughs*

Tim Walz: YEAH!

What if…two years from now…I’m invited to a real dinner party at her neighbor’s house?

“Red Pill”: Okay.

Am I invited?

Lacey’s neighbor: Can we talk with him about the Illuminati?

Tim: No!

I can’t.

I’d just play dumb. And even if I did…it wouldn’t make any difference.

We may find cool residual energy in her basement. But…I’d rather not.

Lacey’s neighbor: But you’d actually come to our house? For dinner!

Tim Walz: Maybe.

“Red Pill”: Am I invited?

Lacey’s neighbor: *Thinks*

Wow, our kids are privileged-

Umm…-

DAMMIT.

Listen to “Lux Aeterna” by Clint Mansell & Kronos Quartet.

Lacey’s neighbor: I don’t know.

*She shudders*

I don’t know!!!!

“Red Pill”: Why?

Lacey’s neighbor: *Freaks-out*

I-

I just feel…weird.

Tim Walz: Are you okay?

Lacey’s neighbor: *nods and cries*

You could have.

No!!

*She regains composure*

You could have. But…now? If she moves? You can’t.

I mean, maybe I’m wrong. But…it’s scary. Up close.

The CIA: But her house?

Could you host the party at her house?

The song ends.

Listen to “Summer Overture” by Clint Mansell & Kronos Quartet.

Lacey’s neighbor: *Smiles*

Yes!

Somehow…that’s safe.

There’s just something about my house.

A reader: What happened?

Lacey’s neighbor: Umm-

Are you into Christian witchcraft?

Ms. Klobuchar: Huh.

Like amethysts? Scattered around a house?

Lacey’s neighbor: No.

I mean…like…cruelty. Using God…to rape people.

What’s a Red Pill individual?

Why don’t you like truth in our neighborhood?

“Red Pill”: What would happen…if you scattered amethysts? Around your house?

Lacey’s neighbor: I’m going to try it!

“Red Pill”: But then what happens?

Lacey’s neighbor: The energy…gets…absorbed.

I bet the Holy Ghost could clean it out. Mostly? But…we use antibiotics too.

It probably just…filters out the bad stuff.

“Red Pill”: HOW!?

The Illuminati: Well…we in the 21st century…are dumb. Okay?

*They laugh*

Lacey keeps telling us that we have to deal with the natural world. In our attacks on her. That we’re so evil…in part…because we keep denying the natural world, ie pedophilia. Like, so many of us are pedophiles, unlike her, that we can’t keep things clear in our heads. Kids don’t want sex. And you can tell. But we’re used to ignoring their verbal and non-verbal cues.

So…we’re living in a delusion. Basically. Where we’re…willfully blinding ourselves to what’s literally right in front of our faces.

Evil…is real. So is good.

So…the rocks…physically absorb evil. No! They do.

Think of communion. Marriage. It’s all there! We just miss it.

So…yes. The amethysts do actually clean out the evil.

A nurse: But then you have to keep buying more amethyst?

The Illuminati: Yes.

Or you have to clean the stones, which…is tricky.

Sometimes they do actually work though. Dolly used a lot of stones. And then I think they started messing with her brain. Mercifully. And…I get the sense she’s not in Hell, despite what she had decided at one time.

A hater: So…she accidentally went to Heaven?

The Illuminati: She…was raised very poor.

Like, truly poor.

Lacey: Yes!

The Illuminati: Yeah.

She may have gotten too into New Age practices to fit in with the other rich people. Out of shame. From being raised poor.

And so…God used that…to help her. And she accidentally accepted salvation through Christ. Because her crystals told her to.

“Red Pill”: Huh.

Did they talk to her?

The Illuminati: Lacey uses our methods. That we…forced on her…to preach to Dolly. The Gospel. And then Dolly’s crystals…told her…”To do it!”

“Red Pill”: So between Lacey and her crystals…she went to God.

The Illuminati: Possibly.

Dolly: I felt compelled, by my…New Age theology…to say the Sinner’s Prayer because of Lacey. But…I really am better off. It’s not…a mean trick. She’s truly trying to get us into Heaven. And it is working.

But the problem is…we were cruel to her.

So you die…and feel…really guilty.

God isn’t a joke. You can’t just avoid accountability through Christ. That’s not even Christian.

But…I don’t regret…being here. I’m just…-

The Illuminati: Is there anything else she can even do?

Dolly Parton: No.

If we don’t hear the Salvation Message of Jesus…from Lacey….we could…be more of an imminent physical threat to her and her family. So she preaches both for our sake…and her safety.

Lacey’s realtor: Why? She’s never “witnessed” to me.

Dolly: