DAMMIT

The Illuminati: Someone read this blog. And agreed with her.

Some of us are pleased. Others of us…are very very angry.

If you agree with her…then she’s possibly better than us. Well, some of us. And some of us…find that unbearably painful to our egos.

*They try to get John Lennon to manifest in her living husband to attack her, as he makes scrambled eggs.*

Lacey: Huh.

You did just manifest the residual energy of John Lennon, like…a body veil…on my husband.

Briefly.

But why do you assume John Lennon would attack me? He looked more confused.

The Illuminati: I woke-up…at 6 AM this morning to the psychic sounds…of some dumb bitch in the perfume community yelling at me. I don’t know…she was witch or something.

Anyway…-

NO, YOU MORON!!!

I DID NOT CAUSE YOU TO SIN.

A Christian: No.

We can’t control people’s brains?

The Illuminati: You are being tricky.

YES, I can sort of control people’s brains. But…I can’t control their free-will.

Make sense?

A Christian: So you use what to control people’s brains?

The Illuminati: I…use subliminal imagery. On their phones.

Or…I use the demonic. To actually manifest against people. If I’m desperate enough. But…that’s actually literally expensive. …In a sense I have to actually pay money to manifest demons that…precisely.

Subliminal messages are far more effective and inexpensive.

*She laughs at herself, the woman in the Illuminati explaining this.*

A perfumer: Why did you all attack her?

The Illuminati: The oil.

A perfumer: See…so why have you all taken yourselves so awfully seriously?

The Illuminati: We keep being fooled. And some of us are very stubborn.

Those of us who keep being fooled are…being fooled in a myriad of ways.

A perfumer: Why?

The Illuminati: Because we’re insecure. A lot of us. These days.

And…it’s crushing. The concept of her family.

So…we’d prefer to believe something else. And the demonic and…lots of other spirits take advantage of that.

To be honest, the energy of JFK was helping us attack her. He hated her. Passionately hated her. Because of Lem. And be the was jealous of her. He had a problem with his older brother as well.

An Episcopalian: So…we do actually believe in Purgatory.

And I’m POSITIVE that was actually him.

Be VERY careful if you’re a Christian reading this. They’re using Christians to attack her whenever they can.

The Illuminati: We-

Well, to be honest, after this recent defeat of Jack Schlossberg…we’re less certain. But…we earnestly believed she was wrong about Jack. And the whole family.

A Christian: Is that why you forced Bobby into power?

The Illuminati: To argue with Nesheim oil?

A Christian: Yes?

The Illuminati: Yes.

We just-

We don’t want to believe that.

Bobby especially. He is losing his physical strength trying to psychically attack her body using the demonic. He’s like an addict.

He just sits around trying to dance with demons. Literally. To get them to go attack her. And recently they’ve been attacking him too. Sapping his strength. Causing ailments.

Jim: Does he realize how detrimental it is?

The Illuminati: No.

He believes it’s like deep diving. Or running a marathon. You train. You beat your body into submission. And then you get the results.

A reader: What results does he want?

The Illuminati: He wants her to be humiliated. Punished. For taking Lem away? He insists Lem was gay.

Wikipedia used to say “…friends from the 1970’s can confirm Lem was gay.” But he demanded it be changed to “Lem was gay.” Because he genuinely believed that would totally floor Lacey and completely shut her down.

*They laugh at Bobby.*

A perfumer: So he is a demon dancer?

The Illuminati: Yes.

Jim: Why do you enable him?

He sounds like he’s losing his mind.

The Illuminati: He may also be slightly senile.

Umm…-

We’re attached.

A reader: *Nods*

The Illuminati: We’re attached to the idea that he’s young. Relevant. Cool.

Some of us are aging. Some of us…are…desperate for hope.

We all have our reasons. Those who are…enabling him.

Another reader: Are any of you anti-vax?

The Illuminati: Yes?

We are…mostly in agreement about that. But…some people are “health conscious”.

Another Christian: I don’t think the vaccines are actually unsafe?

The Illuminati: Actually, they’re mostly not. They’re mostly not unsafe.

YET ANOTHER Christian: So…what’s causing autism?

The Illuminati: Honestly? It’s probably the decay of society…and pollution. *They shrug* Some sort of pollution. We don’t exactly know, yet.

YET ANOTHER Christian: So in your right minds…you’re really just “the people who control things”?

The Illuminati: Exactly.

YET ANOTHER Christian: You all sound so middle class?

The Illuminati: A lot of us are, now. The 20th century really changed things.

However, Lacey’s not fake. Her family isn’t fake.

There is old money.

YET ANOTHER Christian: So do you fight within the Illuminati?

The Illuminati: Yes.

Old money and New? Yes.

Glenn: Yeah.

There were about 60 people who united to attack her. Way back in 2017. In the perfume community.

We all just wanted to feel…less…hurt.

Many of us-

Casi (?): I’m rich too.

*She nods*

Glenn: Yeah.

*He nods*

Casi (?): When I wear…Marc Jacobs Marc Jacobs now…how is it any less impressive than when she wore in college?

Glenn: *Nods in agreement, adamantly*

God: Because she wore it in college. Which means she’s sophisticated.

You’re much older.

Casi (?): *Thinks*

I just can’t stand that!

God: She’s not guilty of anything. You just can’t handle reality.

Casi (?): But what if…I tell you…that my mom…has a better house? Than her mom? Then I win?

God: No.

That’s not how class works.

Casi (?): LIAR.

God: No. I’m not lying.

Casi (?): Why did Marjolijn let me believe I was “her real friend”?

God: She’s not rich. Not like Lacey. Do you understand that?

Casi (?): *Looks stunned*

What!?

NO! She was SO real old money.

God: She lied.

Most of her photos were very edited. And she’s photogenic. Like you.

Casi (?): No. I really did think she was a real rich lady…

God: A European rich lady, at that!

Casi (?): YES!

So I’ve had that wrong?

God: Did you talk to her?

Casi: No.

But weren’t her and Monika and Davey…super rich?

God: No.

None of them are as rich as Lacey. Actually, they’re not as rich as some of her neighbors.

One of her neighbors: I didn’t understand that either.

God: They’re good at looking rich.

Casi: That was what made me feel so comfortable and confident attacking her character. Publicly.

A Catholic: So you…took their approval…to mean WHAT!?

Bobby: Yes. We did have to start aggressively aggravating her actual physical community to attack her. Because we weren’t even believing the lies ourselves anymore.

People researched these…perfume collectors, and found out who they really are.

Jim: Believing Lem was in love with you…and gay…is that significant to you!!??

Bobby: *Looks uneasy*

YES!

If he’s not gay…I’m just a short…son…of a loser. At least, in my opinion. My dad…-

*He fumes*

Jim: He what?

Bobby: HE LOST!!!

And he never stood-up to Jack.

He let Jack push my whole family around!!!

And then he died-

And I don’t want to talk about my sexuality!

*He shrugs*

Casi (?): Wait. So…how poor are they?

God: Some of them are poor. Or have been. For real.

Casi: *Laughs*

I felt…morally justified.

A Catholic: Why?

Casi: Because those are the real experts? …Those are…the experts. Like…they really have the real money. They’re the honest “rich people”. “Lacey’s just a liar.” is what I told myself. And they encouraged me to think that.

They STILL DO!! ALL OF THEM!

A professional chef: But they’re not even real experts. I guarantee it.

You were fooled too.

Casi: Part of the reason I stopped being nice to her…was because they encouraged a belief in me…that she was just a mean-hearted fraud. That she photographed well. Not the opposite.

But I knew that wasn’t true. It’s obvious she’s unphotogenic. I just…wanted to believe them so badly.

A hater: How many of Lacey’s things are inherited? And how many are from an antique store.

Brace yourselves! It’s ugly if you’re trying to feel better about yourself.

Lacey:

Inherited: A vintage wood writing desk and chair, from the 1950’s.

Some vintage and antique pottery and china.

Antique pearls.

Some antique wool and fabric.

Other stuff. *she laughs* …Doilies. Magazines. Papers. …Stuff.

I guess it’s not that painful. Sorry!

A hater: What didn’t you inherit?

Lacey: A car. An antique gold ring. Bunads.

But…I was given money.

And there is some silver made by our family from the 1950’s. I just haven’t received it yet.

Casi: A gold ring?

Lacey: Yes! My great grandmother’s gold ring.

Casi: Wow.

When was she born though?

God: 1883.

Casi: GROSS.

God: No. Not really.

Lacey’s mom who raised her had Karrie in her late 30’s.

Casi: It’s still gross.

God: No. It’s not.

A perfumer: Did any of you ever genuinely let her believe you truly admired her?

Glenn: No?

You can’t do that! It would go right to her head!!!

A perfumer: Ummm-

Okay…but if she’s not someone who actually thinks that way…how was she supposed to ever understand?

Glenn: *Thinks*

Casi: *Thinks*

Yeah, I guess sterling made by your own family is impressive? *She shrugs*

The Met: That’s extremely rare. And yes, impressive.

Casi: *Mouth drops open in shock*

*She closes it slowly as she blinks*

*She sits, staring and thinking*

*Her breathing quickens, as she begins to feel nervous.*

*She braces herself, and thinks*

A perfume collector: But silver is for poor people? It’s gold that’s important?

The Metropolitan Museum of Art: NO! That’s kind of a common…myth? But no. I’m sorry. You’re wrong.

Casi: But then we had a real old money rich person in the community!?!

*Looks shocked*

God: You did.

Casi: But they never owned a mansion?

God: The house in Norway is kind of a mansion? But…I know what you mean.

Does that make you feel poor? That she’s not…one of those people?

Casi: YES!

God: So…they did have $700,000,000.00. In Norway. But…they never built a Gilded Age mansion. So…it feels…like an insult?

Casi: YES!

I-

I am not in proximity to that kind of wealth, often. …If at all. …I want my RICH person…to be RICH. Like…RICH.

What’s this shit!?

That’s a 3,000 house? Built in the 1700’s? Maybe 4,000?

NOT IMPRESSED.

So what they made $700,000,000.00 through sterling silver?

I want $50 billion, BABY!!

Give me THE MONEY!!!

A hater: But…$700,000,000.00 is A LOT. Like…A LOT.

The Illuminati: It’s extremely rare. They are real old money.

Casi: But…I want A GIANT HOUSE!!!

I want a giant house…or it don’t count.

The Illuminati: You are wrong.

I’m sorry.

Casi: *sighs in frustration*

So you’re counting their priceless works of art…and their clout in the Norwegian Royal Family? In the early 20th century. And…that 4,000 sq foot house from the 1700’s…as…old money?

The Illuminati: Yes. Because that’s what it actually is.

The CIA: Yes.

Casi: NAH!

Y’all are frontin’.

The Illuminati: No. We’re the real Illuminati.

Why are you so sure?