A hater: Okay!
NO! I am not threatening your life!!!
Lacey: But…that’s what it comes down to.
A hater: *Thinks*
Why!?!
Lacey: Because…-
The CIA: Are you a gay man?
A hater: Not technically. I’m bisexual, technically.
The CIA: Where are you?
A hater: I’m taking a bath.
And thinking.
The CIA: Okay.
*Laughs*
*Later*
A hater: Okay.
Umm…-
You’re just not an insecure person.
Lacey: YES!
A hater: *Thinks*
Well…-
I don’t think I like what we did.
We needed to actually talk with you, in a more natural, normal way. And we never actually did!
Lacey: Yes!
A hater: Damn.
*Thinks*
Did you at all realize how much people hated you?
Lacey: No.
Why would anyone hate me that much? I was being nice. …Thinking that people hated me was…hateful. And conspiratorial. From my actual perspective, at the time.
I thought I had haters. I didn’t think the whole community felt that way.
Nancy: I highly doubt the whole community hated her!!
A hater in Europe: Okay.
No. They didn’t. You’re right.
But…there were a lot of us.
Lacey: Well…why was I supposed to know that?
A hater in Europe: Yeah. True.
Lacey: Why did you all hate me?
A hater in Europe: *Thinks*
Because it’s not-
We didn’t enjoy being on the receiving end of your glory.
Lacey: *Laughs*
Huh.
So…what’s the difference between what I was doing…and what most people do?
A hater in Europe: *Thinks*
We mean to show-off. And that’s socially acceptable.
What were you doing!?
Lacey: *Laughs*
I was-
I was trying to fit in.
I don’t necessarily understand-
So…-
Why do you love other people who are showing-off!? I’ve seen that often over the years.
A hater in Europe: *Thinks*
Because! …We all do it, sometimes.
*He shrugs*
It’s just socially acceptable.
Lacey: But it’s more offensive? At heart?
A hater in Europe: Yes.
What were you doing!?!
Listen to “I’ve Got a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts” by Freddy Martin.
Lacey: I was trying to…show off. But literally. Not…the colloquial showing-off. …I thought…if I showed-off….without…”showing-off”…I’d be…fine. Because it’s the actual concept…without the ego.
But…it didn’t work.
A hater in Europe: So you were raised to be that intensely good?
Lacey: YES!
And it’s my nature.
Didn’t work.
A hater in Europe: *Thinks*
No.
People used to do that.
They still do. But not…often.
Lacey: Oh.
Huh.
What did people used to do in response?
A hater in Europe: *Smiles*
Yeah.
That was the last Century.
*He smiles fondly*
Man!
Well…they used to just smile. …Act mildly impressed. …And that’s all. Pretty much.
Lacey: YES!
Actually…I think subconsciously, that’s what I was thinking would happen.
A hater in Europe: *Nods*
Yeah. People aren’t doing that anymore.
*He shrugs*
I don’t know why.
I’m sorry. That’s not how people interpreted you.
Lacey: Yeah.
Are you still in the bath?
A hater in Europe: Yes!
*He laughs*
Lacey: Your water must have gone cold.
A hater in Europe: It has.
I…savor it.
Lacey: It’s been hot, too.
A hater: YES!
*He thinks*
No. I love baths. I can think here.
Lacey: I know what you mean!
Savor the clean water.
A hater: YES!
Gosh.
Well…-
Lacey: What’s your favorite scent?
A hater: *Cries*
She really was nice!
*He cries*
Listen to “Orchestral Suite No. 3 in D Major” by Bach, performed by the Academy of Saint Martin in the Fields, conducted by Sir Neville Marriner.
Lacey: I still am.
A hater: *Cries*
…Life matters.
Every little thing…counts.
All of it.
The song ends.
Listen to “Between the Bars” by Elliott Smith.
Lacey: It does.
Lem: I wasn’t attracted to men. He sounds like me…but I actually wasn’t attracted to men.
I…merely thought I was gay.
Bobby: But then why did we kiss?
*He says, dreamily, crying*
Lem: We never did.
Did you think we did?
Bobby: Yes?!
Lem: You thought you’d blacked out?
Bobby: Yes!!!
OBVIOUSLY.
Lem: No.
We never did.
Bobby: Then-
*He thinks*
I feel kind of like I was molested. That wasn’t you?
Lem: You actually feel that way?
Bobby: Yes!!
Lem: But you don’t remember it being me?
Bobby: No.
I assumed it was you, based on what I was told-
Lem: It wasn’t…
*He shrugs*
Maybe you were though. By someone.
Bobby: Who!?!?
Who would have done that!? Other than you?
You were the only one who would have.
The song restarts.
Lem: I wasn’t like that. I actually was straight. And…I don’t and didn’t molest anyone.
I didn’t do all that stuff.
*He sighs in exasperation*
I wasn’t obsessed with Bobby or Jack. …Think about it. …Could I actually even be obsessed with them? …How?
Bobby is a real intellectual lightweight, who has been coached to sound like a genius. I clearly KNEW THAT. …I was faking it when I told him he could be US President.
And he’s short. And scrawny.
Why would I have been obsessed with him!?!
What in hell could I have been experiencing!? It makes no sense. A dumbass narcissistic teenager? And I’m sophisticated. And aging. …And very tall.
No. It’s ABSURD.
And I faked being gay.
I was a lonely…miserable…fat…-
I was miserable.
And I overemphasized what they did for me. Out of desperation. Profound loneliness!
I wanted to die. By the time I was 16.
Jack…was a reckless fool. And I had nothing to lose.
The song ends.
Bobby: *weeps*
Lacey: *Laughs*
I hope there’s reincarnation.
I’m laughing because I keep thinking there’s something to it.
He’s just a silly Chinese man. He’s not in any danger of not being loved.
*She laughs*
Bobby’s Asian wife, if there’s reincarnation: Yes. You’re right.
*She laughs with Lacey, lovingly*
But he doesn’t know that!
Listen to “Rhythm Is a Dancer” by SNAP!.
Bobby’s Asian wife: *Smiles*
He used to be a lot nicer.
*She looks sad*
Lacey: He was normal.
Was he smarter too?
Bobby’s Asian wife: Yes!!
Bobby: *Slightly stops crying*
Bobby’s Asian wife: I’m very attractive!!!
*She laughs and smiles*
Lacey: I guessed as much!
And you were very in love!?
Bobby’s Asian wife: Yes.
We loved each other deeply.
We are what they call-
Nevermind.
No, we are still in love, if there’s reincarnation.
Lacey: You still love him?
Bobby’s Asian wife: Yes.
Lacey: Then he’s accidentally making a fool of himself.
*She looks concerned*
Bobby’s Asian wife: YES!
He-
He has issues of sin. So…he forgets I exist. If there’s reincarnation. And gets very sad.
Lacey: Do you just exist? Waiting in Heaven?
Bobby’s Asian wife: Yes!
You can say that!
God loves us.
I exist…for him.
*She smiles*
Bobby: YOU ARE NOT HERE!
Therefore…you do not exist.
*He weeps and falls to the ground in tears*
Bobby’s Asian wife: NO!!!
I’m dead.
Bobby! You used to know I exist.
Remember?
You once knew!!!
Bobby: You wait there.
*He smirks*
*Devilishly laughs*
You wait for me in Hell.
*He laughs*
You demon temptress…
Bobby’s Asian wife: I’m not in Hell!!
Oh, Bobby! I’m not in Hell!!!
Bobby: Well!
Darling…you will…be…-
Say! You’re that pretty!?!
Bobby’s Asian wife: Yes!
You know.
I’m in Heaven.
Please! Try to understand.
Bobby: Well!
God isn’t that good.
Someone as beautiful as you would never be in Heaven.
Bobby’s Asian wife: I AM!!
No, I am.
God is that good, come to think of it. Really!
Bobby: Well…-
No. He is evil!
Bobby’s Asian wife: No. Wrong.
He’s very good. Good man. GOOD!!!
Listen to “Clair de lune” by Debussy.
Bobby: No.
You’re…impossible!
I know!
I’ve seen a lot!
Bobby’s Asian wife: No!!!
No.
No, Bobby!!!
Please!!!
God is GOOD!
*She fights back tears*
God is GOOD!
1:53
Lacey: More on Bobby.
Why does he keep getting the air?
Weren’t there at least ten other kids!???
It’s not that I don’t care! But…what the heck?
They’re all Christians? And he’s the only one struggling?
I doubt it.
4:00
God: You’re right!!
Lacey: I hope he goes to Heaven.
I’m not saying otherwise.
Of course.
The song ends.
