Eric: So they threw you under the bus, slandering you, and stole your identity and ideas. The perfume community.
Why can’t they see themselves as Robin Hood? Stealing from the old money to help themselves?
Lacey: I don’t know how to articulate it properly but it doesn’t actually work. Do you know how to explain why?
Eric: Because you aren’t that person.
That’s the first problem.
Lacey: What do you mean?
Eric: You aren’t actually the persona. You created a persona. Right?
Lacey: Yes, but that’s not what they copied. They copied my actual personality.
Eric: Okay. Then that’s the actual problem.
I do see what you mean, now that I’m reviewing it. Yeah…
So, they can’t copy you well enough. And at least one person gave-up because she looks like she ran out of ideas on how to impersonate you.
Impersonating someone is actually super difficult. And it’s a lot easier to use your own identity mixed with another person’s identity rather than just flat-out being them. Most successful con-artists who pretend to be Rockefeller’s or whatever have never been an actual real person, so much as someone in the family who doesn’t exist. These people aren’t going to be able to do either. And…all they have is snippets of your personality as you displayed it online in their community. …Long-term it’s impossible to pull-off. They have no way to develop their characters because they’re too literal in their interpretation of you.
And that is the reason why it doesn’t work.
You can’t obsess over someone who’s not invested in you…at all…and not lose time and money. A lot of time and money.
…You didn’t hate them. They unilaterally hated and attacked you. You were always just defending yourself. …They can’t exist…and thrive…if they’re just focused on their delusional agenda from 2015, forever. Time moves on. Things change. They’re stuck in an imaginary world from ten years ago. Imaginary because they never truly empathetically understood you.
A hater in the community: But we’ve stolen from her!! ALREADY!
Eric: *Laughs*
Not really.
See…you lied.
You told her…that you hated her because she was poor. …And to this day…she still can’t figure out what the hell any of you actually meant. Ever.
You can’t leave her on hold. You can’t. You had to tell her…at some point…what you were doing.
A hater in the community: I thought it was devilishly bad to never explain.
Eric: Are you old money? Are any of her attackers old money?
A hater in the community: No.
No.
Eric: Okay.
So can you enjoy that life? …Can you actually be that person? Or is it just a lie online?
A hater in the community: It’s a lie.
Eric: Then…even if you kidnapped her…how did it work? Years ago? While she was…on a ship. Eating smoked salmon and berries. And you were working a 14 hour shift. …How were you stealing from her? In any satisfying way.
A hater in the community: Because we stole the beauty of her soul, and took all the compliments for ourselves. *They grin* Like demons out of Hell…
Eric: Okay…but…you’re not actually her.
And this plan of yours looks good until you really start to examine it.
A hater in the community: Why did she need to understand what we’re doing?
Eric: Because she just felt sorry for you, for one thing. Everyone did.
You’re not that privileged. None of you.
And people aren’t that stupid. Or if they are, why would you care what they thought?
A hater in the community: But what does saying, “You’re a stuck-up, annoying person…and I’m going to make you suffer!” do?
Eric: Because then she doesn’t pity you. I don’t just pity you. It’s a different kind of thing. You become a meaningful person to reckon with, even if you’re evil, not just a mess.
See, if you’d been outside your ego even just a little…she goes from “Are they okay? What did I do?” to “Oh! So…I’m not safe online! Wow!” And there’s a HUGE difference between those two things.
She still doesn’t know for sure what happened. Not in any meaningful way.
A hater in the community: But then we look poor. I wanted to look rich and steal.
Eric: It doesn’t work. Not in this particular situation.
A hater in the community: So she just feels sorry for us?
Eric: No. Yes.
I mean…none of you have made sense since 2017…when she came out as old money. It’s virtually impossible to tell what’s going through everyone’s minds without big brother surveillance and we aren’t doing that.
A hater in the community: So she needs to feel sorry for me?
Eric: See…what the hell are you even saying!?!
What are you even saying!?
Lacey: EXACTLY.
A hater in the community: I’m being clever.
I’m being purposefully vague.
Eric: That’s not clever!!
Casi: No!
It is!!!
Because you keep trying to figure out what I’m saying then!
Eric: But what are you actually saying!?
Casi: You’re supposed to know!!!
Eric: HA!
No. We don’t know.
What are you actually saying?
Casi: I’m saying she needs to feel sorry for us.
Eric: What in Hell does that even mean!?
Casi: *Thinks*
So her well-being affected my safety? As a U.S. citizen?
*Looks stupid*
Eric: What did you mean?
Casi: I don’t know. Sometimes when I’m angry I just saying whatever comes into my head. It usually works.
Eric: It doesn’t work now.
What do you want that to mean?
Casi: She needs to feel sorry for us. Because she’s a loser.
How is she a loser? Well…because she’s…a loser?
*She thinks*
Ahh…let’s just go with her…lying about her wealth.
*She smiles wide and happy*
YEAH! She’s lying. She’s not really old money at all!!!
*She continues to smile*
That’s what I meant! She’s…desperate to feel sorry for us…because she’s a poor loser compared to me.
Voila, lovely!
Tres magnifique!
Eric: You’re copying things she said, literally, in 2017? With your French and the use of the word lovely.
Casi: I WIN.
*She laughs*
Eric: You don’t seem old money. You seem stupid, lacking self-awareness and incredibly pretentious.
Okay. So…she’s poor?
Casi: AYE!
*she laughs, feeling clever*
Eric: Okay.
But then…she’s not. YOU ARE.
So why are you stealing from her?
Casi: Because-
Umm…-
Eric: I’m not waiting for you to find something to say.
You just totally fucked-up.
All of you did.
You needed to explain to her that you resented her privilege.
Casi: But then…she knows she’s better than us. And that ruins the whole thing!!!
We’re going at it in a brilliant way.
Eric: Are you kind of stupid?
Casi: A little.
A lot of us are.
Eric: Yeah!
Okay. So…you needed…to explain.
In order for this heist to work…you needed to explain. TO HER. Not to just illicit her community to conspire with you and commit a felony. Not to just…keep living in your psychotic delusions. To actually get something out of what you’re doing other than the eventual hatred of the people you’ve used to attack her.
You seriously think…all of the people who you’ve rallied against her…will be able to not despise you? In the future? …She’s a wonderful person. And she’s not someone who should be just randomly messed around with. And…what you all did was actually unbelievably dangerous. TO YOU, not just her. It’s a FELONY for a damn good reason.
Casi: *Begins twerking to get demons on her side*
She said twerking was stupid. So I’m going to TWERK.
See…I’m doing Satanic…bad-ass…shi’.
Dolly Parton: My family is white trash. …We’re smart, but we are white trash.
*She laughs*
You can’t force the demons to have sex with you. It don’t work like that.
*She laughs*
Stop being so…white trash. You seem ignorant.
You all are the ones lacking in self-awareness!
Casi: Nah!
I’m getting me a demon hoe! To do my bidding.
HOLD ON!
Dolly Parton: Sweetheart…it’s not working.
It’s not working.
…They may try to fool you…and use you…but…-
*She goes quiet in rage and embarrassment*
A reader: WHY DID YOU DO THAT!?
Dolly: Ahh-
*Looks sad*
Honestly, part of it was because I grew-up poor.
I was desperate to fit in, at times. …I’m not-
*She sighs*
A lot of New Age…rich…white people were more likely to be my friends…if I tried to be like them.
I did believe in Christianity as a kid. I really did! …But I wasn’t…accepted as a former Christian white kid, who grew-up into an adult. Nobody liked that.
It was far more acceptable to be evil. To excuse evil. To…find what was evil about yourself and then…try to make it seem cool.
Casi: *Stands still and thinks*
Why did we need to tell her!?!?
Eric: Because!
You’re being Robin Hood? Or you’re just jealous sadistic fools?
Which one is it?
The perfume community: Jealous sadistic fools.
Eric: Are you sure?!?
The perfume community: Yes.
Eric: Then you ruined it. Because this isn’t a real conversation.
Do you understand? It’s not official.
So it’s too late.
The perfume community: So now what?
Eric: Well…she left. No clear explanation in ten years.
OBSESSIVE animosity from the perfume community. I mean, you wouldn’t leave her alone.
So she completely left Instagram.
What will happen? Well…-
*sighs and rolls his eyes*
I’ll have to say more later…
