Satan: *Laughs at Arnold*
I’ve been in the same room with you. At Illuminati meetings.
Why are you lying like this!?
Arnold: *Refuses to talk*
Satan: You’ve seen people manifest? Or something else? Right? Come on! You’re full of shit!
Arnold: *Shakes his head no*
Satan: Are you lying for Bobby’s sake!?
Because of Lem!?
Arnold: *refuses to answer*
*Finally*
Look…even if it’s true…I don’t feel safe dying.
All this talk of death. I’m not okay with it.
We don’t know what’s going on.
Satan: Actually…you’re too dumb to. That’s true. But you shouldn’t call Lacey a liar.
Did she hurt your feelings? About Lem? Or did Maria think Lem was attracted to her? And she’s hurt to find out he wasn’t?
A demon: It’s all of them.
Satan: She’s not lying.
You’re just not as smart as her.
Arnold: You don’t exist.
Satan: Ahh.
Then how are we talking?
Arnold: This is craziness! She’s a schizophrenic!
Satan: WOW, you are SO fucking stupid!
*He laughs*
Dude. How are we talking!?
What am I? Think about it!
Arnold: I don’t know!
Satan: No!
Think about it. …What can I possibly be!?
Arnold: Someone’s imagination.
Satan: No.
She hears me.
Just like she hears you.
You’re being DUMB.
Arnold: *Looks pouty*
Well!
I don’t know. And I don’t need to.
Satan: Actually! YOU DO.
What am I?
Arnold: Lacey’s lying sex fantasy.
She’s an ugly horny slut!!!
LEM BILLINGS WAS HOMOSEXUAL! And I’m sure he found MARIA SEXY AS HELL.
Lem: You’re a dumb cheap bastard, Arnold. Or you said all that so we’d have a way to attack you. Which is it?
Arnold: I don’t know if you were gay. But, if you weren’t, I’m personally insulted you didn’t find Maria sexy.
Satan: You’re actually going to say that!?
*He laughs*
Arnold: I can say whatever I WANT!!!
Satan: Arnold.
What am I?
Arnold: You don’t exist.
Satan: Then what am I!?
Arnold: I don’t know. But I’m sure you’re not real.
Satan: Why is that?
Arnold: Because. You scientifically have been proven not to be real.
Satan: Using science!?!
Arnold: Yes!
See! I can be you!
*He tries to*
Satan: Didn’t fool Lacey?
Arnold: No.
But it could.
Satan: You’re an idiot!
*He laughs, mouth-open*
Arnold: You aren’t real.
She’s a phony.
Lacey: You’re that pathetic?
Arnold: I WILL KILL YOU!!
*He screams at Lacey*
I WILL KILL YOU!!
I WILL KILL YOUR FAMILY!
The CIA: Why?
Arnold: Because!
My friend, Maria, and my friends the Kennedys…are sad.
*He shrugs*
And I will not-
*He’s silenced*
Lem: Why would Bobby have to silence me? If I’m not real?
Satan: *Plays with Arnold’s energy. Used in telepathy.*
I just harmed you.
*He laughs*
Now, when you die…you’ll feel terrified. Until you see God.
Try telling yourself you’re not real, after you die. You pathetic ass!
Bobby: I’m not harming him.
*He says, crying and shaking*
The KGB: Then what are you doing?
Arnold: *Silenced, but tries to yell*
Bobby: I don’t need to-
Look. She has sex fantasies.
Just ask the GOVERNOR of CALIFORNIA.
*Gavin Newsome looks worried*
Gavin: I in now way endorse what he’s said.
Satan: What do you think I am?
Gavin: *Laughs*
I think…you’re a dead man.
*He thinks*
Italian?
Satan: *Laughs*
No. But, that’s a compliment.
Arnold: I AM MAD!
*He has broken free*
I AM MAD! ON BEHALF OF THE PERFUME COMMUNITY!!!
*He’s silenced again*
Sarah (?): Is he being serious?
The CIA: Probably.
He’s-
*They roll their eyes*
I’m actually waiting for someone to give Satan an intelligent answer. Can I try?
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