Molly: Part of what you’re sensing is that the group you’re a part of, socially, from college has done well. And there’s resentment.
But also. I don’t think you’re understanding what was said to you.
It sounds like Chris and Liz…felt ugly. Like…actually ugly.
Lacey: I have a hard time believing that.
Molly: It’s true though.
*later*
God: No. They actually felt that way.
Lacey: *thinks*
Well, that’s too bad.
God: They had a relationship behind your back to spite you. Because they hated how you made them feel, just by being yourself.
Lacey: *thinks*
What!??
God: They had a relationship behind your back. Just to hurt you.
They did like each other. A lot. But part of it, was to make you feel like poop. You made Chris feel very insecure. Because he’s short, among other reasons. He saw all the other guys checking you out, in Washington DC, when you went on dates with him. And after he was mugged…he felt…ashamed. …You were a tan, skinny, gorgeous blond.
Lacey: Does this have anything to do with Bill rejecting Liz?
God: Yes.
Lacey: *rolls her eyes*
*thinks*
You know…I vaguely understand. …But not really. …I’m just not like that.
But Liz and Chris were in love?
God: Yes. But they relished being cruel.
Lacey: Wow. It hurts that they didn’t care about me. At all.
Just as humans.
I’m…incredibly offended.
But, joke is on them. I didn’t give a rip.
I’m hurt that they didn’t care. Just as people. But…I didn’t care.
Chris (?): Why?
Lacey: *thinks*
Well…I thought you cared more as people. I didn’t realize you were so…cold.
But…we were never that close. And…at times you were…mean. …So, oh well. I guess.
I’m actually very hard to get genuinely close to. So…I didn’t expect…- *shrugs* Whatever. *rolls her eyes*
Chris: I thought we were close.
*later*
Lacey: No!
Did you really think that!?
Chris: No, but not…no.
How do you see what happened between us?
Lacey: It was technically a relationship.
You cheated. You secretly hated me, the whole time.
…I tried way too hard. Put in WAY too much of my heart. And…you laughed in my face, like I was a worthless piece of garbage.
You treated me like absolute shit. You were an AWFUL boyfriend. The whole relationship nauseates me.
So…I think of it…as…a HORRENDOUS mistake. …The whole…six month fiasco…is just a mistake. Just a giant ick.
Just…ick.
Another woman named Laura: I hear that! I so hear that!
Chris: Do you think I’m ick?
Lacey: No!
You are short. And…I don’t find you attractive at all, anymore. Or almost at all. *shrugs*
I was very inexperienced, but I did like men and I still do. And so I dated you because I hadn’t really had much experience, and I didn’t really know what I found attractive. I mean you’re a man, and, you know, it’s like you were available, and so I dated you.  But now that I have more of a sense of what I actually like, I could never do it again.  I am not some inexperienced 20 something person at a Christian College anymore, and I just don’t have it in me to find whatever it was about you that I liked. 
You’re an attractive man, you’re good-looking, but I just don’t find you attractive enough anymore. But you really are an attractive man! I just don’t particularly find you attractive myself enough to ever, you know, date you. 
Chris: That’s not what I thought was going to happen…
Lacey: What exactly did you imagine happening? People change over time.
Chris: I don’t want you to be honest with me. I can tell that you have been, and it stings.
I thought you were going to be hung up on me, for the rest of your life. 
Bill: WHAT!?!
*he laughs*
Chris: I mean, I could tell she actually fell for me and it went to my head. I’m not gonna lie. And I just assumed that that was always going to be there?
Lacey: I’m a very deep, emotional person. I’m capable of a heck of a lot more than what you experienced with me. You were a mistake, sweetheart. You don’t really know me that well.
Chris: So I’m just a joke to you?
Lacey: A joke?
Chris: I mean, I’ve treated you like you were a joke. I did hate you. It’s true. I absolutely hated you!
Lacey: No, you’re not a joke to me, you’re a mistake. Do you speak English or are you dumb?
Chris: Why are you asking if I speak English?
Lacey: Oh another joke for you to tell about how dumb I am? *she laughs and rolls her eyes*
Because, you seem like you’re stuck in Italian, sweetie.
You used to go on endlessly about how your family was Italian and how you were Italian. And I feel like your brain is stuck speaking Italian. I wonder if you understand anything I’m saying? It seems like you’re literally just some dumb jackass who just got off the boat.
Chris: What!?
Lacey: OK it’s just-
I’m sorry but I’m being serious.
When I dated you, it was the same way. It’s like there’s something in your head where you’re not really fully American? And you’re not really fully acclimated? And I feel like there are things you’d love to say to me, in Italian, that probably would make a lot more sense of who you actually are that you can’t get out. And I wish you had just said them to me, you know, like 20 years ago. And given me a bunch of hand signals and cussed me out, instead of dating me.
Chris: So you don’t take me seriously as a person?
Lacey: I am wiser than you, and intellectually you’re dumb-as-fuck compared to me, when it comes to politics.
And save your bullshit. I don’t want to hear about your superior 140 IQ, again. I might actually be smarter than you! You’re an idiot, in some ways, compared to me. OK!? You’re monstrously egotistical…and you can’t shut-up about how great you are. …I’ve had to learn to say things like that, myself, because of jackasses like you!
People don’t like the fact that I say stuff that’s true, but harsh? Well, I’ve had to learn to say it, because little sad assholes like you have no respect for people!
You just go around shitting and people’s faces, thinking that you’re tough.
No, I don’t take you seriously. Im sorry. I’m a very good person…and I’m very smart…and that’s the actual truth. And if you don’t understand that, that’s not my problem. But then I can’t take you seriously, because you’re a moron in relation to me.
Chris: So me telling you that it sucked to date you because I felt ugly when I used to walk around you doesn’t change how you see me?
Lacey: You stole part of my 20s, you fucking prick!
You made me fail out of college, you fucking idiot! You stole a hell of a lot from me…and then I’m supposed to feel sorry for you!?!
Chris: I don’t feel sorry for what I did, enough. It’s true.
I feel superior and entitled because I’m not wise. You’re right. And I may not even be reading this, but you’re communicating in my head, in the spirit realm, and it is affecting me and I’m realizing that…”OK, fine!” I should’ve just cussed you out in Italian. …That would’ve been so much more effective.
I think if I had been able to cuss you out in Italian and tell you to go fuck yourself, I probably would’ve stopped hating you, years ago. And it’s weird, because you know that. You know that I just needed to tell you to go to hell, and just get it off my chest.
You know what it is? It’s that you know more than I do. You really do. …And I have made an ass of myself…because I was going be this enormously important person…and I’m not. I mean, I’ve done well, but I’m really not that big of a deal. And my understanding of world events is shit, compared to you. I would admit that, openly, if I was capable of it.
And yeah, I mean, I actually don’t understand things as well as you do. I liked to pretend that I did, but I really don’t.
I am almost positive I’m better at economics than you are, but that really is my strength. And, I’m very good with money.
But, when it comes to understanding politics? Compared to you? I’m a joke.
But no, it’s dumb that we dated. I should’ve just told you off.
We might’ve even been on good terms, if I had been just able to tell you to go fuck yourself and go to Hell. You know, I don’t know why, but you just made me incredibly angry.
I really don’t know why, but you were very triggering and you made me really angry.
It’s almost like you were like insulting me and my whole family. And then I think, “Why?”. Why would I feel that? Because I was insecure.
I am misogynistic.
So, I just couldn’t handle it. I couldn’t handle the fact that you knew more than I did.
But no, if I could’ve just said to you, you know, “You’re a dumb bitch, go to hell!” and if you would have reacted, you know, the way that you are now? I would’ve thought “Hey, this is stupid. This woman’s not a terrible person. I’m just really angry and I have to move on.”.
I think you reminded me slightly of my mom, who is Italian, because you’re so pretty and my mom is really pretty. And I love my mom, but sometimes she drives crazy. And I think I just thought, “Oh God help me! My mom’s here to tell me more about the situation. But I am not here to be preached to about politics by my fucking mother.”.
I should not have dated you. I’m starting to think it was kind of weird.
I mean, you’re right. I am a good looking man. I am. And I’m obviously intelligent and competent and I found you very attractive, but no, it was weird.
Lacey: Yes!
See, and then I have to wonder why you didn’t just date Laura?
Chris: Because, Laura was a taller person than me. …And I was very pretentiously confident.
I’ve gotten better over the years, but I’m still insecure. But back then, I was very pretentiously confident. I just couldn’t handle it.
She was also a little on the heavy side…and, as you know, back then that was very taboo.
So basically, I didn’t date her, Lacey, because I was insecure.
Lacey: I don’t think I understood that.
Chris: At all?
Lacey: At all.
I mean, OK? No, I did? But, not like that.
Chris: Oh yeah! Oh, yeah. No, I’m sure it’s possible that she hated you, because I was a jerk to her.
Lacey: I knew you were a jerk to her, but I didn’t realize that it was in that way.
Chris: Yeah, I liked her better than you, but I just honestly-
I wanted the appearance of dating you, at that time, more than the enjoyment and pleasure of dating someone who I actually liked more.
I mean you were hot. You probably still are? But, I just liked her. …I just really liked her.
And honestly, you understand what I’m saying. It’s like…I found her more attractive even if you are objectively are better-looking. She just really- I just really felt something for her. And, I just couldn’ta- I couldn’t put it out of my mind. And actually, I kind of think it made me hate you more.
Lacey: See, I don’t understand why you were so afraid of dating her. Because yes, there was a height issue and she wasn’t as skinny, but she was very socially liked…and I think it probably would’ve actually made you look better if you dated her.
You told me at the time, that you liked me more or that you-you didn’t “like her like that”, but I think that might’ve been a lie?
Chris: I think I told myself that I liked you like that and not her. But, I wasn’t being honest and I actually don’t think that’s true. I think I found you more attractive, because you just are more attractive, and so it was like I approved of you, because I had standards or something? But, it’s dumb. Because my personal standards would’ve been me…dating her.
But I mean, I would have probably started having an affair or relationship with my wife.
I really love my wife.
I wonder if we’re soulmates…
Because, she really is that special to me. My wife.
But I probably should’ve been breaking Laura‘s heart instead of your heart. And I’m not sure what that would’ve done…but I wonder if it would’ve been helpful to her somehow?
Lacey: I think it would’ve been helpful somehow. Because, she would’ve experienced falling vaguely in love with you and you falling vaguely in love with her…and then you falling madly in love with your wife. And then she would have realized that there are different kinds of love.
There’s just normal love that can grow but it’s sort of ordinary, but it’s still great, and then there’s love that’s extraordinary. Like the love that you have with a soulmate. And maybe that would’ve been informative to her about our souls and stuff like that.
Chris: So you think I was a horrible asshole and that I was just a total waste of time and I made your life worse permanently?
Do you realize that we met in Russian politics?
That probably doesn’t mean much to you. You probably have to force yourself to think that means anything.
I don’t think you’re particularly impressed with much.
Umm…-
The Illuminati: So you just barely care about her at all?
Chris: *nods*
I see her as a roadblock on my ultimate journey of glory for me and my wife. Lacey, that is. I see her as a piece of poo… that I have to get rid of, on the path to my glory.
And…if I have to run over her, blow her up, cut her to pieces, stab her in the face or just make fun of her? Maybe even get her to commit suicide? I don’t give a shit, in my soul.
I mean, it’s illegal and I would never do that and…I’m not really a monster of a person. It’s you forcing me to be honest that’s dragging this out of me. But…I don’t give a shit about her…because it’s all about me fucking winning.
Bobby: You tell em’, boy!
You’ve rocked that shit! And that’s my shit too. That’s how I run! LIKE A WOLF!!
*he yelps*
I don’t give a fuck about no one either, especially the chicks.
They are roadblocks…on the way to my glory.
That’s how all the men in my family are. Women are worthless pieces of crap. You step on them, kick them in the gut, and then and throw them into Hell!
They’re dumb-as-fuck! They just keep falling in line, falling in love with you? Because they’re cows, in their dreams. *he laughs*
Yeah, life and God and all that shit? Is just about the male dick.
And if you’re a really loving, kind person from a poor background? Like my family or yours in Italy? You win, in this goddamn fantastic country.
Because…here in this country…it’s about Jesus. It’s not about having to kiss the ass of some gay aristocrat.
In this country, you don’t have to lick the boots of some jackass who licks cock. NO SIR.
You just have to kick people in the face…throw the bitches into Hell… and then get yourself a big fucking house.
…And then we go around the whole fucking world saying, “You suck and we don’t.” BECAUSE WE ARE…GOOD. We are. We are the light. Even if it’s just shinning out of Satan’s asshole.
*he giggles*
But no…I’m not imperialist. …I’m not a colonialist. And I’m certainly not a racist. …I’m an American.
Chris: I do not feel completely comfortable endorsing that.
I really don’t.
I really, really don’t. I do not endorse what he just said. That’s not-
I am opening-up and being honest about what’s in my heart. And in my heart, I didn’t care if she committed suicide. After we broke-up. I had no concern for her well-being, almost at all. I still don’t.
Bobby: I know, and my wife, my second wife? She actually did commit suicide.
She hung herself. Because, I ran off with another chick too.
I don’t see how I’m saying anything different than you??? *he almost looks hurt*
Chris: OK, but I married one woman.
And I’ve been faithful to her.
And… I’m having a heart to heart. And… I’m being honest about what was hiding in the depths of my heart.
You have actively hurt people…in a way that I would never hurt people.
Bobby: Why?
Are you chicken?
Chris: This isn’t funny.
Bobby: I’m not being funny.
Are you chicken?
Chris: No, I think it’s wrong.
Bobby: *thinks*
