Lacey: This whole blog is for entertainment purposes only.
Casi: Cool.
The Illuminati: Duh.
We don’t exist.
And we certainly don’t use telepathy.
A man reading this blog: I’m determined to find one relationship where she screwed-up.
God: Not a thing.
I’m sorry.
A man reading this blog: And she’s not attracted to anyone but men?
God: Yes.
A man reading this blog: Then she really has had a sad life.
Casi: FORGET THIS!
*rolls her eyes*
The Illuminati: So…you don’t believe that?
Casi: No!
She’s a horrible person.
The Illuminati: Why? Because she told you you weren’t in the same social class?
Casi: YES!
She’s just mean.
She’s just…an orny, mean cunt.
God: No, she’s not.
You harassed-
Casi: Shut-up!
SHUT-UP!!!
Bobby: *claps*
I love telling God to be quiet.
*he laughs*
Satan can be annoying too though, at times.
So…what’s wrong?
Casi: It’s nothing…-
Bobby: No! Tell me! I care.
You know?
Casi: Yeah. I can tell you do.
*sighs*
It’s just…I’m the victim.
I’m the one who’s poor. And insecure.
Bobby: Yeah. So true!
Casi: I’m the one who’s hurting. Me.
I’m the one- I’m the one who’s sad.
I’m the one…who’s poor.
I…am…the insecure one.
Bobby: Yeah.
*looks empathetic*
I hear you.
Casi: Right!?
Like…I don’t want to hear your problems. I don’t care about her suffering. Because…I…am…insecure. I AM…poor-
Bobby: AMEN!!
*he claps*
Casi: I am…-
Bobby: I am.
So true.
Casi: You know?
Bobby: I feel it.
*nods empathetically*
Casi: Right!?
Like…stay in your own lane.
*she rolls her eyes*
Bobby: Yeah.
Lacey: So what’s someone like me supposed to do…when I’m sad? Like…really sad?
Bobby: Just die.
*he shrugs*
Survival of the fittest.
Casi: Yeah.
And I am…insecure.
Bobby: YAAsss!!
Yas!!!
Casi: “You aren’t allowed to live? You’re not a loser?”
Bobby: We’re getting rid of people like her.
Yes.
Casi: What?
Bobby: Yeah.
I don’t like feeling threatened. A lot of people don’t.
So…-
*he shrugs*
Casi: But…I’m insecure.
Bobby: Perfect.
That’s so good for us.
Casi: So we’re killing off intelligence? And sanity? And wealth?
Bobby: Don’t put it like that! That sounds offensive.
Casi: Ahh…-
Bobby: No.
Because…the diet drugs…aren’t working. People look gaunt.
And…so now…some people, including me…are just going to sanction killing hot skinny people.
*he waits*
Just kidding!! *he laughs*
No! I’m totally kidding.
*he laughs*
So…you feel sad?
Casi: *thinks*
I mean…-
Bobby: Well. You should.
But don’t kill yourself. You’re a mean person. We need you alive.
*he waits*
Just kidding!!!
Casi: I mean…I’m insecure.
Bobby: Yeah.
A lot of the most rich and powerful people today…are.
They’re just like you.
Casi: *thinks*
Lacey: I can’t be insecure.
Why is that considered a good thing now?
Bobby: Because it’s cool to be dysfunctional!
People think we’re more loving and accepting? No. We’re not.
It’s just cool to be a jerk.
People like you…who are fertile and have good self-esteem? So worthless to us. We…like…hating ourselves.
It’s kind of like chewing ice? Or chewing your own fingernails? …Or…sawing off your own teeth?
Sometimes…things just become a trend.
Lacey: Huh.
Putin: I’m not insecure enough. They hate that.
Bobby: True.
He has “big dick energy”. So not cool.
Casi: Huh!?
Bobby: I mean…-
It’s like…-
You grow-up…feeling…ugly. Right? And none of the chicks want to screw you, unless you’re like me. *he rolls his eyes*
But…-
So then…you invest in bitcoin? Make…millions of Dollars…and start a tech company? Right? Make…more millions.
*he shrugs*
And it’s like…why bother?
Why bother even pooping anymore?
Why bother…sleeping?
Why bother…eating actual food?
*he shrugs*
It’s over.
So archaic.
A Catholic: You’re a real “man of the moment”!
Huh?
Bobby: No.
I’m a loser.
I’m a total…loser.
Casi: This isn’t how I experience my insecurities…
Bobby: No!
It is!
TRUST ME.
Casi: But I’m feeling…actual sadness.
Bobby: *thinks*
So are they…
Casi: It doesn’t seem like it!
Bobby: No! They are.
Casi: What!??
Bobby: It’s a thing of the past.
Casi: What is?
Bobby: All of that!
Casi: All of what!?
Bobby: The-
All of that…stuff.
Casi: What stuff?
Bobby: The…-
The things. …The stuff!
Casi: *cries*
Bobby: Nope!
You can’t do that!!!
Casi: *looks horrified*
Bobby: *blinks*
Casi: I’m sad!
I’m feeling insecure.
Bobby: Well…maybe it’s uncool to be insecure now, too.
Casi: WHY!?
Bobby: It’s too…much.
Casi: Then what isn’t too much?
Bobby: *thinks*
Casi: Well!??
Bobby: *blinks*
Casi: Blinking your eyes!??
Bobby: YES!
It’s the way of the future.
Dying is too much. Heck, maybe moving your body is too much.
I think…we blink.
A tech billionaire: YAS!!!
BLINKING!!!
