Jonah: Ha!
I made my point.
Lacey: Except, what is your point?
Dennis Andersen: Well! Can’t you see?!?
We’re being Black.
Isn’t that impressive to you, and other idiots who think like you!?
*he smirks*
1:52
Lacey: I see.
So, you’re burning your own community? Like you think Black people do, when they protest?
Dennis: YES!
DUH!
*he says, frustrated*
Lacey: So…then you’d all be dead? Or no? Just the guys…hanging-out?
Jonah: Well…-
*he looks irritated*
Yes.
Lacey: And Dennis would be killed too, by execution. …If he didn’t escape the country, and live…in South America.
They don’t seem impressed.
God: What does this…do?
Listen to “Bittersweet Faith” by Bitter:Sweet.
Jonah: *smiles, proudly*
It…makes a point.
God: Who’s the audience?
Jonah: You.
God: What exactly am I supposed to make of this? …If you did this…
Jonah: *looks unimpressed, as per usual*
I shouldn’t have to explain. You’re God.
God: I’m asking you to explain yourself. So explain yourself…
The song ends.
Jonah: Well!
*he rolls his eyes, in exasperation*
*he thinks, for a moment…just a bit more*
It’s to make a point?
*he looks suddenly embarrassed*
God: But what’s your point?
Jonah: Umm…-
Dennis: Well!
We’re being…like…the Black protesters.
*he tries to laugh, with God…but God isn’t laughing*
God: Huh.
So…you’re starting a gas station on fire…with an antique bomb…dropped from an antique plane. …Just to start an enormous fire. At one gas station-
Dennis: YES!
Because that’s what they do!
*he looks angry at God, that he’s not getting his point, faster*
God: They’re oppressed…Dennis.
You’re not-
Dennis: Oh! WE ARE!
God: By whom?
Dennis: *laughs*
By…evil lizards who run the United States. Behind closed doors.
Elliott: They love that explanation.
God: Huh.
The thing is…it’s not the same, yet.
They were slaves. You’re not…yet…quite a slave, regardless. The similarities aren’t distinct enough to warrant this…reaction.
Or, is it even a reaction? …What are you doing?
Dennis: *thinks*
We’re just kicking-ass.
God: Who’s ass!?
Dennis: *thinks*
Lacey: You’re kicking my ass?
It seems like you’re just attacking me? Or no?
They all think. Stunned.
Listen to “Angel” by Massive Attack.
Lacey: Are you…fighting Putin, using me? As a proxy?
All the men: No.
Because we categorically reject the notion that you’re sexually arousing to us. …Even though you are.
We want the mean girls, alive, to be our bitches. More than anything.
Lacey: But you do admit that you’re attacking me?
2:33
All the men at this gas station: HELL YES.
Lacey: Okay…
But why?
God: I know. That’s what I’m trying to figure out.
All the men at this gas station: Oh!
So…you don’t have it figured out yet?
*they smirk, throw on their sunglasses, and try to look…damn cool*
God: No.
All the men at this gas station: We…RULE.
God: Rule what!??
All the men at this gas station: EVERYTHING… grasshopper.
*they smirk*
5:50
The song ends.
God: *laughs*
How?
Listen to “#1 Crush” by Garbage.
Jonah: Ahh…-
You don’t know?
God: No, please tell me.
Jonah: It’s…-
Dennis: Well…through you.
1:30
God: HOW!?!
All the men at this gas station: Through the power of the Cross!!
DUH!!
God: But, where am I!?!
All the men at the gas station: Ahh…IN HEAVEN.
God: YES!!!
Exactly.
So, HOW DOES THIS WORK!??
All the men at the gas station: *thinks*
You…save us.
4:11
God: I SAVE YOU!??
Huh.
I save you?
The song ends.
Listen to “Smalltown Boy” by Bronski Beat.
God: But…you’re all dead.
So how can I still…save you? You all blew yourselves up…or are running for your life. From the U.S. government.
All of the men at the gas station: No.
*they smile*
You save us…
God: HOW!?!
I told you to be my hands and feet. Remember?
All of the men at the gas station: Yes!
But…you also said you’d save us.
God: From who!? From WHAT!?
And how? As your God…or as your husband?
The song ends.
Listen to “I Feel Love / Johnny Remember Me” by Bronski Beat.
God: How?
All of the men at the gas station: *think*
Lacey: How does just insulting people…save us?
Jonah: It puts them in their place?
Lacey: And leaves the actual war…up to who!?!
Jonah: Well, I don’t know!
God: It’s not your job to figure that out?
Jonah: No.
I’m a man. I have things to do!
God: Like what? Washing your curly hair?
Jonah: Yes. And I need to work on my diet…because I’m not being healthy, at the moment.
God: So you ladies…have penises?
And you decided to blow-up a gas station?
Why?
Jonah: I’m not a woman.
God: Then why are you acting like a woman?
Lacey: Look! Why did you do this!?
*she says to them, as if they’re women*
Jonah: *rolls his eyes*
The song ends.
Lacey: Well?
Dennis: It was to make a point…
Lacey: To who!??
What are you protesting!??
Dennis: Injustice.
Lacey: Okay.
So you’re still figuring it out?
All of the men at the gas station: No!
We know.
Lacey: Then who was it!?
All of the men at the gas station: Well…people like you.
Lacey: Huh.
That might not work.
Okay?
Putin: That’s true. That was just a waste of a good gas station…I’m afraid.
You made no clear…argument.
Listen to “Cry Me a River” by Justin Timberlake.
Lacey: So…-
Oh well.
*she feels heartbroken*
Lem: I really was straight.
I was.
REALLY.
Bronski Beat: We assumed otherwise.
Lem: I know. And you’re, unfortunately, wrong.
Can you try to understand?
Bronski Beat: No.
No.
I don’t think so, buddy.
You sucked Jack’s cock!
Lem: So there’s no backsies? Or what?
Bronski Beat: Oh! You want anal!?
Lem: No. You don’t know the slang?
I mean, I can’t take that back?
Bronski Beat: No.
You can’t.
Lem: Why?
Bronski Beat: Because you promised.
Lem! When you put your mouth…and your hands…on his penis…and made him have an orgasm…you made a commitment. For FOREVER.
